by Jane Davitt
“Unless I tell you otherwise, I expect you to remain still.” Liam lifted his hand and struck Jay a second time, and this time Jay didn’t move, overriding his body’s natural instinct by sheer force of will. “Better. Good.”
He moved to one side so he could see Jay’s face, which was flushed, his bottom lip slightly more plump and pink than it had been before. He was gorgeous like this, obeying.
Liam turned his attention to Austin. He slid his hand up along Austin’s spine, slowly, tracing each vertebra beneath the skin, the sight of his hand following each rise and dip nearly hypnotic. “This is going to be such fun,” he said. He knew Austin was waiting now to be spanked, for the possibility of sharp, unexpected flashes of pain and where they might occur. The anticipation was one of Liam’s favorite parts of this, and he realized he was aroused already—through no more than a bit of teasing.
He could feel Austin going tense as he trailed his fingertips lightly along smooth skin. The longer Liam continued to touch him gently, the more tense Austin would become. Waiting, always waiting. When would the featherlight skirting of knuckles turn into something more? Would it be a pinch, a slap? How hard?
The back of Austin’s neck was visible with his head hanging down like this, his hair falling forward. His nape was dusted with the finest of hairs, pale enough to verge on invisible. Liam leaned over and exhaled against it, his lips separated from skin by barely an inch. They didn’t want kisses from him—and they wouldn’t have received them if they had. Austin moaned as if he’d been struck, not loudly, but in the quiet room, every sound seemed amplified, a shiver racing through his body. Liam pursed his lips and blew a reproving stream of air against Austin’s ear, grinning when Austin held still, stubbornly refusing to be caught out again.
“Oh, you hate me for not punishing you the way you want, don’t you?” He made sure Austin could hear the amusement in his voice. “If I gave you permission to beg for something, Austin, what would it be? My hand spanking you hard? The chance to show me how hot you look kneeling, your head down, your back straight? Or something else?”
Austin didn’t move but whispered, “I’d ask you to hit me.”
“Ah, that’s what you’d ask for.” Liam stroked his hand down Austin’s back to his arse, letting the muscle shape his hand, feeling Austin shudder. “I did wonder. And it’s been so long, hasn’t it? All the time, waiting, and now here I am, making you wait even longer. Don’t move.”
He could almost feel Austin’s tension as he turned back to Jay. This was more challenging than he’d realized, keeping each of them engaged in the scene. “And what about you, Jay? What would you ask for, if I gave you permission to ask for something?”
Jay whimpered. “I’d—I’d ask for you to make me suck Austin. His cock. So he could—” Another whimper. “He could fuck my throat, choke me.” Was that a tear at the corner of Jay’s eye?
“Breath play, hmm? That could be fun.” Another night—it was too soon to get into something that intense. They hadn’t built up enough trust yet.
Liam turned and took Austin’s chin in his hand, tilting Austin’s head so Austin had no choice but to look at him. “I’ll tell you what we’re going to do. Would you like to hear?”
“Yes, Sir,” Austin whispered. “Please.”
“I,” Liam said, “will spank one of you tonight. Only one.” Beside him, Jay inhaled sharply, but Liam’s attention was on Austin’s face. “You get to decide. Which of you will it be?”
He saw the hurt in Austin’s face, as if he’d been betrayed somehow, but Austin didn’t try to argue with him. A calm acceptance smoothed out the lines puckering his forehead, and he said, “Jay,” without hesitation or regret, his readiness to give up everything he wanted for his boyfriend leaving Liam with a lot to think about.
Jay made a sound of protest, close enough to being a no that Liam sighed and reached across Austin—the two subs so close it wasn’t much of a stretch—and gave Jay’s arse a solid smack without looking away from Austin.
Jay took it in silence. Austin grimaced, his eyes squeezing shut for the space of a breath.
Oh, he really was being unfair, wasn’t he? Three for Jay and none for Austin.
“Why him, not you?”
“He needs it.” Austin’s voice was raw as if he’d been crying or screaming. Liam moved the hand gripping Austin’s chin from side to side, playing with Austin as if he were a toy. Austin didn’t resist him at all, allowing his head to be bobbed up and down, side to side.
Liam stopped and slid his thumb over Austin’s parted lips, rubbing them gently. “So do you. I can taste how much you need it, see it, smell it. It’s pouring off you like smoke from a fire, Austin.”
“Let it be him. Please. I can wait. Austin, don’t choose me—”
Jay really had to learn to stop talking.
“Jay it is, then.” Liam straightened, not glancing back at Austin. “Thank you for your input, Austin. As a reward, I’ll let you watch. In the corner, please, kneeling. Hands flat on the wall at either side of you.” That would remove any temptation for Austin to touch the cock that was still rock hard and very quickly make his arms and shoulders begin to ache. It would also give Liam a nice view when he wasn’t watching Jay’s arse turn red. “Any sound from you, even the smallest whimper, and you get to stare at the wall instead. Do you want a gag, or can you manage that?”
Chapter Six
Austin tightened his jaw and shook his head the tiniest bit in reply to Liam’s question. He had himself so determinedly under control that it was better not to speak unless he had no other choice. If he loosened his grip even a fraction, he was likely to break, to shout that it wasn’t fair, that he’d been waiting so long and he needed this and now he had to give it up.
There wasn’t any part of him that resented Jay. In the same position, Jay would’ve made the same choice. Jay would relinquish what he needed and let Austin have it, every time. That’d made it a simple decision. Austin didn’t have to wonder if it was the right decision. He’d make the same one next time, and the time after that, a hundred times if he had to.
Liam directed Austin to the corner. It was a relief to kneel, even if it became obvious half a minute in that his arms were going to be sore as hell the next day.
He wouldn’t make a sound. No matter what happened.
As Liam took his time getting Jay into position, Austin was incredibly glad that he’d slipped a free sample of Valium into his pocket at the office earlier in the week and taken it fifteen minutes ago in Liam’s bathroom, because he suspected if he hadn’t taken it, he’d be losing his shit right about then.
The spanking started, with Liam using his hand on Jay, fast and hard, not troubling to warm up, as if he knew Jay never cared too much about that, though Austin liked it. He’d been told to watch, so he did, his view limited in some ways, comprehensive in others. Unlike Liam, he could see the sway of Jay’s balls as his body moved with the slaps raining down on his ass and thighs, see Jay’s face flush darkly to match the spanked-red burn on his ass. Jay was staring at the floor, sometimes closing his eyes, but Austin didn’t want Jay to look at him. This was for Jay, all of it.
He tried to think what lay behind Liam’s decision. If it was something he’d done—
They’d both spoken when they should’ve been quiet, but—
He hadn’t been aware of Liam’s attention on him, but the heavy crack of palm on skin paused. Liam, one hand resting carelessly on Jay’s back, leaning on it as if Jay were a table, said, “Stop thinking so much, Austin. It’s noisy. Remember what I said would happen if you made a sound?”
That was so blatantly unfair Austin had to bite his lip hard to keep from speaking—which had probably been what Liam was trying to get him to do. He schooled his expression to a polite mask and stared at the side of Jay’s ass. Jay’s long legs, racehorse legs, were taut, trembling, his breathing ragged. Austin could tell what was bothering Jay was the pause, not the heat and sting of Liam’s hand.
Without meaning to, his gaze flickered to Liam’s face.
Liam drew his hand back, his gaze holding Austin’s. When he brought his hand down, for a dizzying moment, Austin felt like that hand, sore, hot, throbbing all over. He gasped and tried to cover it with a quick breath in. Liam couldn’t order him to stop breathing, after all.
“Watch him,” Liam said. “Listen to the sounds he’s making for me.” He tapped his fingers against the top of Jay’s thigh. “This is such an overlooked place. So many people make the mistake of concentrating on the arse, but the thighs are far more sensitive. When you sit down tomorrow, you’ll wish I had overlooked it, Jay.”
Jay couldn’t push his ass up any higher without going onto tiptoes. Still he tried, and Austin watched him do it, wordlessly begging for more.
“Slut,” Liam said with a chuckle. “Unlike Austin, you don’t seem to have any problems about letting me know what you want.”
I did tell you.
The wall was warming against Austin’s hands. He wanted to dig his nails into it, draw them down, flaking away the paint and plaster, tearing the pristine surface open the way he’d wanted Liam to tear the wall around him down so he could feel something again. He was numb, and he wanted to breach that numbness, pierce it, but only Liam could do that.
“Tell Austin how good it feels when I’m spanking you,” Liam said mercilessly, his hand flashing down over and over, striking skin that had been smooth, uniform in color, and leaving it blushing bright and hot. “Tell him, Jay.”
“’S good.” Jay gasped the words as if they were being driven from him with each blow, finding a rhythm. “Good. Hard. Wish it was you, though.”
Austin looked at Jay, at Liam, watched what was happening when in his head all he could do was try to concentrate on the ache at the small of his back, the burning in his shoulders and neck, the weight of his arms as he held them up. This was a different form of pain than Jay was experiencing, and it wasn’t fun at all. Inside Austin’s head wasn’t a good place to be. It was a bad place, a really bad place, and he wanted out. In that moment, he would have agreed to any number of things that would normally have been unacceptable to him. Had Liam wanted to whip his face and leave scars, he’d have said yes. Hell, he’d have said yes please and probably added more.
Another minute that felt like an hour, the sound of Liam’s hand striking Jay, and Austin discovered it was getting easier. It didn’t make any sense, but he was looking in the right direction and seeing nothing. He didn’t think he was losing consciousness—though he didn’t know what that felt like, since it hadn’t ever happened before—but somehow his consciousness was being altered. His body was on the floor where Liam had left it, but the part of Austin that really counted wasn’t in it anymore. He was out of his head, at least, and that was a relief.
“Three more,” he heard Liam say, and Jay gasped with each of the last three blows. Austin knew what that felt like, the almost electric pain of being spanked on skin that was already raw, bruises rising. He knew how it felt good and bad at the same time, and how powerful a feeling that was. Jay was sobbing softly, and Liam was murmuring comforting words, telling Jay how good he was, how obedient, how he’d done wonderfully.
Still disconnected from his body, Austin knew Liam was urging Jay to curl up on his side in the wide chair that already had soft blankets spread across it. Liam covered Jay with another blanket, pointed out a glass of water and box of tissues on the table beside them, then came over to Austin and touched his face.
Just like that, as if Liam’s hands held the all the magic in the world, Austin was back in his body, trembling with the effort of having held position for so long.
“Are you all right?”
Austin couldn’t speak. Liam told him, very firmly, to sit, which at that point didn’t require any more effort than to let gravity take hold. By the time Austin had untangled his stiff limbs, Liam was back with another blanket and a bottle of water.
“Drink this. No, drink it.” Liam was in charge, and Austin did as he’d been told, swallowing a few times and clearing his throat.
“I’m okay.” He was shaking and felt every bit as exhausted and relieved as he ever had after a scene, even though he shouldn’t have, really.
Liam helped him to his feet. “Come sit with Jay. I want you to see.”
With Jay curled up on the oversize chair the way he was, it was easy for Austin to run gentle fingers over his burning ass and the darker area where he’d bruise. God, Jay was so beautiful.
He couldn’t picture getting spanked himself after sharing in Jay’s spanking the way he had. If Liam had told him that he’d changed his mind, he’d… What would he do? He honestly didn’t know. He felt dizzy and centered at the same time.
“You two are close, aren’t you?” Liam was leaning against the back of the chair. He was always higher than them, Austin thought through the fuzziness filling his head. He nodded and went back to petting Jay, whose sobbing had turned to shuddering breaths of sheer relief.
“I meant it when I thanked you,” Liam said. Austin glanced up at him. There was a light sheen of sweat across Liam’s forehead, and he held a bottle of water, drinking from it with small sips as he waited for Austin to find the words to answer him. “You were honest, and I appreciate that. No, I require it.” He cocked his head to the side. “Do you wish you’d given me a different answer?”
“How could I? You said you wanted the truth, and you got it.”
“If I ask you that question next time, what will you say?”
Jay raised his head. “If you make him choose again, there won’t be a next time.”
Alarmed, Austin slid his hand into Jay’s, squeezing it in a warning. “Jay, no. It’s okay. I was… I got what I needed as much as you.”
“You got to see Jay marked up,” Liam pointed out. “That’s what you told me you liked.”
That aspect of it hadn’t occurred to Austin, but it made Jay’s flash of temper fade visibly. He gave Liam an apologetic look, then turned to kiss Austin, pausing before their lips met.
“Can I do this? Kiss Austin, I mean? Is it all over?”
“It’s not over until you leave. But yes, since you thought to ask, you may.” Liam sounded close to indulgent, his voice a mellow rumble.
The kiss made Austin’s world click into focus again. Jay’s mouth was eager against his, but the desperation that’d been eating away at them like dripped acid was gone. Neither of them had come, but that didn’t seem to matter. A session with Patrick had nearly always ended with them climaxing; Austin wasn’t sure how Liam would feel about that.
“I’d like to discuss what happened and clear up any questions you have. I find it useful. Take a moment to compose yourselves and get dressed, then join me in the family room.” Liam straightened and walked over to the door. “Please don’t keep me waiting.”
When the door had closed behind him, Jay gave Austin a rueful look. “Does that mean what I think it does?”
Austin rolled his eyes. “What do you think?”
“We’d better get dressed, then.” It was probably a sign of how good Jay was feeling now that he was willing to get up and pull on his clothes rather than lounge. Austin felt a twinge of regret as Jay’s boxers covered his ass—under other circumstances he’d have asked Jay to stay naked for at least an hour, and by the time they went home, the worst of the redness would have faded.
“I want to hold you,” Austin blurted, and Jay turned immediately and wrapped him in a hug.
“Me too. As soon as we get home, okay? We’ll climb into bed and stay there till morning.”
Liam was waiting patiently, the bottle of water beside him empty, when Jay and Austin went into the family room. “I think,” he said as they sat down, “that considering this was our first session together, it would be a good idea to go over how we feel it went while it’s still fresh in our minds. I don’t expect a detailed examination. I know you’re probably not up for that.”
“I think it
was good,” Austin said. “Not just good, really good. I’m wiped out, in a good way.”
“I see vocabulary isn’t your strong suit after a scene.” Liam’s lips quirked. “No, no, it’s fine.”
“That’s what being wiped out does,” Jay said, defending Austin even though it wasn’t actually necessary. “He’s just like usual after, but I’m not sure I understand why.”
“I am, and I’m not sure either.” Austin wanted to explain it. “It was like…I was there, watching, and then I blinked and everything was different. Like my perception changed.”
Liam nodded. “That hadn’t happened before?”
“Well sure, it did, but not like this. This was intense, maybe because there wasn’t a physical element to it. I wasn’t the one getting spanked.”
“Yeah.” There was confusion in Jay’s voice. “You weren’t.” He gave Liam a questioning look, frowning at him. Austin knew Jay like this, on the trail of an answer to something that puzzled him. “Why did you do that? Okay, make that not do it?”
“I didn’t mind,” Austin said quickly. Liam made a sound, an incredulous snort, and Austin amended his words. “I don’t mind now. At first, when I was in the corner watching, I hated it. I was so disappointed that I wasn’t going to get what I’d expected. Disappointed? God, that’s not strong enough.”
Jay made a choked sound, turning to hug him. “Now I feel like I took something from you,” he said, his voice muffled against Austin’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I should’ve—”
The snap of Liam’s fingers brought Jay’s head up, and Austin, his body responding to the small, definite sound as if it’d been a command, sat straighter, his gaze going to Liam.
“If you’re quite finished,” Liam said. It was all he said, but it was enough to bring the blood to Austin’s face in a blush he could feel heat his cheeks. “I think I told you that the session wasn’t over until you left. I think I also told you I wanted to discuss what happened in what we can call the hand-on part of it, if you like. Discuss. Not weep and wail over each other. Everything that happened to you in that room went the way it did because I wanted it to happen like that. Me. Not either of you, so stop feeling guilty.”