by Alexey Pehov
“I’m wasting time with you two,” I exclaimed angrily. “You can discuss what to do next without me!”
“All right, let him go with you.” The elf had only two ways out of the situation. He could slit the goblin’s throat, or let him go. “But remember, Kli-Kli, if anything happens, I’ll personally skin you alive.”
“No need for threats … I get the idea. Anything happens, and I’m done for!”
“Good luck, Harold, we won’t be far away.”
“What’s happening with the patrols?”
It was very dark that night under the thick crowns of the trees, but I thought I saw Ell grin.
“We took out three of them, so the west wing’s free.” The yellow-eyed elf picked up his powerful crook-backed bow off the grass.
Fewer guards meant fewer problems. Now I had to run round the edge of the estate and make my approach to the windows of the west wing. It had to be the windows, because the central entrance was out of bounds—just like all the other doors leading in and out of the manor house, in fact.
According to Deler, who had drunk wine with the count’s servants, there were guards standing watch at almost every door—the usual arrangement for people afraid of a sudden attack. That left the windows, and only the ones at the back of the house, because there was only one patrol there, and the chances of being spotted were far smaller than anywhere else.
It wasn’t possible to break straight into the east wing of the house—there were bars on the windows of the second floor there. There was only one way to do it—get into the house through the west wing, walk along the incredibly long corridor to the balcony that overlooked the reception hall, and from there along the corridor with the pictures as far as the count’s bedroom.
“Time to go. Kli-Kli, try to keep up!”
It was dark; the massive tree trunks in front of us were black silhouettes. And then the lights of the house came into view. The only lighted torches were beside the central entrance of the mansion house, and there were four guards standing there. Or, rather, one was standing and the other three were sitting on the steps and making conversation. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about—I was too far away.
“They’re not sleeping, the skunks,” Kli-Kli hissed in disappointment.
“That’s their job.”
“Ah, no, I meant the ones in the house.”
There was light in the second-floor windows. They weren’t sleeping, and that meant I could run into problems. The Nameless One take those night birds! In my line of work there’s nothing worse than people who don’t go to bed when any decent law-abiding citizen ought to.
“Where to now, Harold?”
“See those little trees way over there?”
“Well?”
“We run over to them, then across to the wall of the building and up to the window.”
“They’ll see us!”
“Don’t talk so much, and do what I do, then they won’t see us. Or you can stay here in the park and wait for me, I don’t mind.”
“I think I can avoid attracting any unwanted attention,” the jester replied quickly.
The open space between the park and the house was about forty yards across. Mostly short-cut grass and beds (or, rather, entire fields) of roses. I tried to run across all this as quickly as possible.
There was total silence all around, not a sound but the light wind that had sprung up, rustling the crowns of the trees. No birds calling, no crickets singing. Kli-Kli and I had to trail straight through the flowerbeds, trampling the bushes of white and yellow roses cruelly with our heels. I could just imagine the curses that the gardener would call down on our heads the next day! The roses took their revenge by surrounding me with the scent of cheap women’s perfume. Disgusting!
The wall of the house suddenly rose up in front of me and I leaned against it in relief, catching my breath. Kli-Kli puffed and panted beside me.
“You scamper along faster than a royal messenger. I didn’t know a thief’s work was so hard.”
“And nerve-wracking, too. Keep up!”
The wall stretched away to the right of us. I crept along in front, with Kli-Kli right behind me, almost stepping on my heels. Unfortunately for us, there was no grass. Someone had thoughtfully scattered little stones on the ground, so we had to move very carefully—as if we were walking over dry brushwood.
The darkness was pitch-black, as if we were deep underground. Of course, it was hard for anyone to make out Kli-Kli and me now, but the trouble with darkness is that you can’t see the enemy, either. Just as we reached the corner of the building, a patrol of guards appeared out of the gloom. I froze instantly, and Kli-Kli blundered into my back with a grunt of surprise.
In the next three seconds I managed to do three things at once: pull my hood up over my head, stop the goblin’s mouth with my free hand, and try to melt into the wall—there was enough shadow there to hide ten Nameless Ones.
To give Kli-Kli his due, he never even twitched.
The three guards walked slowly toward us, talking to each other. That would have been fine, but one of them was holding a torch. In a few seconds the goblin and I would be in plain view.
“And I says to him, why are you acting like such a bonehead? You lost, didn’t you? So pay up!”
“And what did he say?”
“What did he say? He went for his knife, and—”
“Listen, Hart, if the captain of the watch finds out who killed Radish…”
“He won’t find out, if you keep your mouth shut. And it’s not my fault! Why bet on a cock fight, if you can’t cover your losses?”
“Radish is a fine one, grabbing his knife like that.… He was always a fool, and he died a fool! I won’t tell anyone, don’t you worry.”
“Thanks, friend,” the first guard said with feeling.
I started slithering slowly along the wall, covering myself and Kli-Kli with my cloak. I had to take my hand away from the goblin’s face, there was no other way I could load the crossbow. I held the little darling in my hand and tried to pull back the lever with as little noise as possible, drawing the string toward myself. A faint click told me that the bolts had slipped into position. If Sagot was feeling well-disposed, I’d have enough time to silence two of them, but that still left the third one, and the lad would have a sword.
The guards drew level with our flimsy cover and my finger involuntarily tightened on the trigger.
“Kind of cool tonight,” muttered the one with the torch.
“We’ll finish this round and drop into the guard room. I’ve got a little bottle tucked away there, ’specially for a moment like this.”
“What if Meilo nabs us?”
“He won’t,” the first guard answered jauntily.
The lads tramped past us and went on their way. Not one of them even looked in our direction. After all, what danger could possibly be lurking over by the wall?
“Meilo? He’d nab his own father, never mind a thickhead like you!”
“There’s no sign of Klos and his two.”
“Klos and his lads were unlucky today, Meilo sent them into the park—to protect milord from the savage squirrels!” the torch-bearer chortled.
“They should have been back ages ago. Maybe something’s happened?”
“Of course something’s happened! Do you think you’re the only one with any brains? Klos has a little bottle of his own, stashed away under a tree somewhere. And more than one! I reckon the lads will be sleeping the rest of the night on the grass.”
I’m afraid that after meeting Ell and Egrassa, Klos and company are never going to wake up again.
“Shall we go and look for them?”
“What for? Do you feel like wandering around in the dark?”
The guards’ voices faded away into the distance.
“Phew,” Kli-Kli sighed. “Are all guards born blind, or is it just them?”
“It varies. We’re almost there.”
All we had to do now
was turn the corner and run along the far wall of the building until we reached the right window. I lay down on the ground and warily stuck my nose round the corner to check that the way was clear.
No one there.
There wasn’t a single light on at this side of the house.
“Here.”
I took out the cobweb and flung the free end of the rope upward, aiming at the balcony jutting out above our heads. The magic rope took a solid grip on the stone, without any grapnels or hooks. For my own peace of mind, I tugged on it a few times, checking the reliability of my stairway to the heavens. I couldn’t pull it off—I certainly hadn’t wasted my gold on that marvel.
“Stay here. Don’t make any noise and don’t even think of getting up to any tricks!” I said, glaring at the goblin menacingly.
“Yes, Harold.”
“And no matter what happens, don’t you dare climb up after me.”
“No, Harold.”
“If I’m not back in an hour, find Markauz and clear out of here.”
“Yes, Harold.” The little goblin looked like the most miserable creature in the whole of Siala.
“I’m going up. If anything happens, whistle. Only quietly.”
“But Harold, I don’t—”
“Kli-Kli, just do as I tell you.”
“All right, Harold,” the goblin agreed meekly.
I opened the clasp holding the cloak on my shoulders. It was a good cloak, no doubt about that; it was ink-black, like all my clothes, but climbing up a wall in it, especially a high wall, was rather awkward.
“Keep your eyes peeled,” was my final instruction to the jester before I jerked on the spider web and sent it a mental instruction.
The rope shuddered and started lifting me upward. All I had to do was brace my feet against the wall and watch the balcony moving toward me.
About halfway up, when I was poised between heaven and earth, I heard a loud hiss below me, something between a red-hot frying pan and an expiring viper. I had to stop and look down. Kli-Kli had almost all his fingers stuck into his mouth and his cheeks were puffed out, as if he was trying to look like a bugler.
“What’s wrong with you?” I hissed down at him.
“Danger!” said the jester, pointing in the direction from which we had just come.
There was a lone guard walking along the path that ran round the house. I don’t know what he was looking for, but it certainly wasn’t adventure. The lad was staring down at his feet, so he hadn’t even seen the goblin standing there right in front of him.
Kli-Kli started dashing from side to side, not knowing where to hide, and I gritted my teeth in annoyance.
“Where can she be?” the guard exclaimed. I couldn’t make out his face, but his voice was young.
Didn’t I tell everybody I’d have problems if the goblin was with me?
“Hey! You there! What are you doing here?” the guard said, lowering his hand onto the hilt of his sword.
“Come here,” Kli-Kli said, gesturing to the guard conspiratorially.
Sagot! What is that idiot doing?
The man started moving toward the goblin, without taking his hand off his sword or his eyes off the intruder. He was confused, because his enemy was so short and didn’t attempt to run away or draw a weapon when he was caught red-handed.
“Come on, come on. I don’t bite.”
“Bah, you’re that duke’s jester!” the guard said, stopping right underneath me.
“Of course I’m a jester! Who were you planning on meeting here? A h’san’kor?”
I tugged on the rope, giving it the mental order to lower me down.
“What are you doing here, you little rogue?”
There was no more than a yard left to the nitwit’s head.
The goblin kept one eye on my miraculous balancing act.
“Want a gold piece?” A disk of yellow metal glittered between the fool’s fingers.
Kli-Kli’s calculations were absolutely correct. There are some specimens of humankind who only have to be shown a coin and they completely lose their head.
“Yes!”
I wasn’t surprised in the least to see him staring hard, desperately trying to follow the movements of the coin.
I hit him with both feet, aiming at the back of his head. He was wearing a light helmet, so the blow wasn’t all that powerful, but it was quite enough for him. He slumped to his knees, clutching at his head. I opened my fingers and fell onto him, pressing him down with all my weight.
“Finish him!” Kli-Kli squealed, jumping up and down nervously. “Finish him!”
“What a … bloodthirsty … goblin,” I spat out, shaking my bruised fist.
The lad was surprisingly strong. I had to punch him twice on the back of his head, which was as hard as oak, and then jam my elbow into his temple before he condescended to quiet down.
I swung round toward Kli-Kli.
“What kind of trick was that you pulled?”
“I had to keep him busy while you were descending on him like the demon of vengeance.”
“I mean, why didn’t you whistle?”
“I can’t whistle. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen!” the goblin explained lamely.
There was a clank behind me. I drew my knife and swung round sharply, but it was only Ell. He was just wiping his dagger on the guard’s clothes.
The dead guard’s clothes. No one lives after he’s had the best part of a yard of steel run through his heart.
“He won’t shout now.” The elf’s yellow eyes glinted disapprovingly. “You always need to finish the job, Harold.”
“Get it over with quickly, thief. There’s no time,” Alistan Markauz put in from out of the darkness. “Kli-Kli, I’ll have a word with you later. Come with us. Ell, take the body’s arms.”
“Stop!” I told them. “The goblin’s bound to get you into trouble. He’s just one big headache.”
“I won’t get them into trouble!” Kli-Kli was offended. “If not for me, this dead man here would have spotted you for sure.”
“Listen, fool, do you see those bushes over there? They’re exactly opposite the window of the count’s bedroom. You hide in there until I call you. I’ll throw you the Key, and then you clear out just as fast as you can. Ell, you help him get over the wall.”
“All right.”
I jumped up, grabbed hold of the end of the rope, and the whole business started all over again. When I threw my leg over the railings and found myself on the balcony, there was no one below me any longer—no elf, no count, no Kli-Kli, no dead body. The spider web nestled back snugly into its usual place on my belt.
It was a small balcony that had been built for decoration, hardly even big enough for two people. The door, with glass panes set in a fancy wooden grille, looked like a rather frail, defenseless barrier for lads of my kind. But first impressions are deceptive—always expect some kind of dirty trick from such naked defenselessness. Fortunately I didn’t even have to guess, or waste precious vials of spells, in order to expose any magic. Miralissa had said there were defensive spells on all the windows on the second floor.
I didn’t know how they worked, but anyone who tried to climb into the house at night was in for a hot reception. The elfess had offered to create a runic charm so I could break through the defense, but I had politely refused. I’d been feeling very negative about runic magic just recently—ever since I read out an old scroll that I found lying about and drove all the demons into the darkness. (Well, almost all, Vukhdjaaz was an exception.)
And apart from that, I didn’t want to experience the clash of shamanism with human magic at close quarters. And I couldn’t count on Kli-Kli’s medallion, either—it only neutralized shamanism, not the magic of men and light elves. I would have to dip into my own reserves in order to get into the house.
I opened the small green bag on my belt and took out a vial containing a powder as black as the night around me. The cork came out with a pop and I kept hold
of it in my teeth.
I scattered a generous sprinkling of the powder straight onto the door, put the cork back in the vial, and put the precious little item back in my bag. In the meantime nothing had happened to the balcony door, and I was already beginning to think that this time the elfess was wrong. But no, blotches appeared where the black powder had landed. They spread out, merged together, and then disappeared with a flash.
That’s done.
As I expected, the door was locked. For some reason people are never desperately eager to see me in their homes. What did I ever do to them?
I opened the lock in a few seconds. Actually, the thing on that door had no right to call itself by the proud name of “lock.” I pushed the door slightly open, parted the light, airy curtains with my hands, and slipped inside Count Balistan Pargaid’s house.
It’s pitch-dark in here. Where am I? I hope it’s not some old maid’s bedroom, or there’ll be shouting and screaming.
The floor in the room was covered with a carpet, so I didn’t make much noise. There was a thin strip of light under the door leading into the corridor. My eyes had already got used to the darkness now, and I could see pretty well.
I was in a large room with shelves lining the walls.
A library.
If I’d been there at a different time on different business, I would definitely have checked out a couple of the bookcases. The count was keen on antiquity, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there were books here from the early Dream Age, or even the Era of Achievements. On my way across the unlighted room I had to walk round a desk that stood out as a black patch against the dark gray background.
The heavy double doors of the library opened easily and I went out into the corridor.
It was empty.
That’s right, you respectable people, at this time of night the best thing to be doing is sleeping.
Unfortunately for me, some diligent swine had lit the oil lamps, and the little tongues of flame were trembling under their glass covers.
Now came the most difficult part, walking the full length of the corridor in this wing and slipping through a room or two to end up in the corridor beside the balcony overlooking the reception hall, then walking down the corridor with the portraits to reach Balistan Pargaid’s bedroom. Then I had to do what I’d come for, and go back the same way.