“He didn’t and is not taking advantage of me! We leaned on each other to deal with losing Emma…but it turned into more than that. He didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not angry with Ian about this. I’m angry with you.”
“That figures. But that’s okay Alexa, I’m used to it. I figured he’d be a wimp about it and tell you anyways. I bet he just couldn’t wait.”
“Actually Daddy, he tried not to. He was rude and dismissive and for two days he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. I wouldn’t leave it alone. He finally broke down and told me and then apologized and felt bad for you. I hope that makes you feel bad. You’re sitting here calling him names and he was defending you and your motives for doing this. It makes me furious.”
“I will never feel bad for protecting you no matter what I have to do in order to accomplish that. It’s my job.”
Grr! “Daddy, I’m not sixteen any longer.”
“I realize that. I know how old you are to the minute. I was there the day you were born and I will be there until the day I die. Even when you’re forty, you will still be my daughter and I will still be concerned with you getting hurt. I won’t ever walk out on you, even if you push me away.”
“Daddy, if you don’t stop trying to control my life, you are the one pushing me away.” He stood up out of the chair and threw his arms in the air.
“Fine!” he said. “But tell me something, Alexa…Explain it to me so I can understand…Why would you blindly walk into this relationship knowing that it’s not going to work? Why would you set yourself up to get hurt?”
“I know no such thing. I like him a lot. He likes me. We get along well. We have a lot in common. Why would you even say that it won’t work? That hurts me.”
“He makes his living letting people hit him in the face and the head. How long is a human supposed to go through that until it has permanent damage. Have you seen Muhammad Ali lately? He can barely speak, or walk because he’s had so many concussions. They blame it on something else…but look at Mike Tyson. He’s a nut case….” He was reaching, desperate to make me not want to be with Ian…or any man for that matter. What Ian does is even more dangerous than what the old time boxers did. They use their feet and judo and they choke each other…Alexa, he could end up dead in the ring. Then what? Then you go through that heartbreak too on top of losing your best friend. It’s not fair of him to ask that of you!” I suddenly felt very sick to my stomach. I couldn’t believe that he was sitting here trying to convince me that Ian might die to keep me from dating him. He put an image in my head that I was going to have trouble shaking. How desperate was he to keep me a little girl? I think he suddenly realized how harsh he’d been. His face softened a little bit and he said, “Honey, there has always been a black cloud that followed this family around. I’m just so afraid for you.”
“I’m done with this,” I told him. He was calling after me, but when I got to my room I slammed the door. I didn’t want to hear anymore. His words were ringing in my head…Ian, dead in the ring. I didn’t know whether to be upset or pissed off. As it were, I was both.
I lay awake most of the night with my father’s words, “He could die in the ring” running through my head. If Emma hadn’t died just over a month ago, maybe I could have laughed it off. But the idea of mortality never really held a place inside of me until recently. Now I think about it probably more than is healthy, and thanks to my overprotective father I was now not only considering Ian’s mortality, but whether or not I wanted to stay with someone who did something so dangerous. Damn him! I spent the night playing out different scenarios in my head. In each scenario, Ian was dead and I was grieving all over again. At one point, I had to get up out of bed and go outside on the back porch for some fresh air. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. All of these thoughts had brought on a panic attack. I remembered the ones I’d had right after Emma died and I wondered…could I really go through all of that again?
Chapter Five
Ian
I woke up the morning after spending the day with Alexa, feeling great. That was good, because today was also my big championship fight. I’d been working towards this day for a long time. I had trained hard for it and pushed my body to its limits over and over again. I’m hoping and praying that tonight all of that would pay off. I took a shower and then I called Alexa. I didn’t think about how early it was until I heard the sleepy sound of her voice when she said “Hello.”
“Good morning. Did I wake you up?”
“Um…yeah, I guess so. What time is it?”
“A little after seven,” I said. “I’m sorry. Did you have a late night talking to your dad?”
“Not really. I just didn’t sleep very well,” she said. She sounded like something was off.
“Did the talk go okay? Is he really upset that I told you?”
“He’s fine, Ian. It went fine. I’m sorry. It’s just so early…”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have woken you up. I just woke up all psyched up about the fight tonight. I wanted to make sure you were going to be there.”
She hesitated. It was only for a second…but it was there. “Yeah, of course I’ll be there.”
“Hey babe…you would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?”
She sounded like she was trying too hard then as she said, “Yes, I would tell you. Everything’s fine. Like I said, I just didn’t sleep well. I wouldn’t miss your fight though. I will be there with bells on.”
“Okay,” I said, not convinced that all was “fine.” “Call me later if you want to talk.”
“Ian, I’m fine, really. You concentrate on your fight and we’ll talk afterwards while we’re celebrating.”
“Okay. Have a good day, I can’t wait to see you tonight.”
“Me too,” she said before hanging up. I sat there for a while just looking at the phone. I thought about calling her back and demanding that she tell me what was wrong. Wasn’t that what she would do? I had been hoping to see her today before the fight. Now I was just going to obsess all day about what was wrong. Damn! I really wish we could figure this shit out.
I did my best to let it go and I went to the gym. Dean walked me through a really light work-out and then we went back to his place and he forced me to eat pasta for lunch. It was good though, and his son, my friend Ronnie was home from school so we spent the rest of the afternoon just catching up and shooting the shit.
“So how is school going?” I asked him. He had finished his bachelor’s program over the summer term and was just starting his Master’s. He was a smart guy. He would probably be back here running Dean’s business and taking it national before long.
“It’s good, a lot of work. No time to get laid. My balls are blue and they ache.”
I laughed. “I thought college was supposed to be all about the party and getting laid.”
“So did I. What about you? You still doing the off and on with Kristy?”
“Nah. I finally put a stop to that. That girl has issues.”
He laughed then and said, “She always has. You couldn’t look past her store bought boobs to see them before. What changed?”
Dean was walking through the living room when Ronnie asked me that. “He’s in love,” he said.
I rolled my eyes. “That’s taking it a little far, Dean.”
“In love, huh?” Ronnie said.
“Did you just hear me tell your father he was taking it too far? I’m seeing someone. She’s pretty special and I like her a lot. It’s not love…yet.”
“Whoa, that sounds serious. Where’d you meet this girl?”
For some reason I didn’t want to tell him. I think that I was afraid his first thought would be that she was only with me or I was only with her because of Emma, I guess. I couldn’t think of a good lie though, and I’d promised Alexa I was going to stop doing that anyways.
“She was Emma’s best friend.”
“Alexa? Hot red-head with the….”
“Don’t say it!”
/>
He laughed, “Man, Dad wasn’t exaggerating. You are in love, aren’t you?”
I stood up. “Well it was nice catching up with you man but I have to get going.”
“Avoidance. He doesn’t want his friend to talk about his girl’s shapely ta-ta’s. He says he’s not in love… “Yet.” All the classic signs.
“Fuck you, Ronnie.”
“Man, it’s been so long I’d almost take you up on that.” I couldn’t keep a straight face on that one. I smiled and said, “You should be so lucky, man. I have to go. This conversation has gotten way out of hand.”
“Alright man. I’ll see you tonight. Good luck.”
“Thanks.” I left there with Dean and Ronnie’s words ringing in my head. “Love?” It was way too soon for that, wasn’t it?
Chapter Six
Alexa
After I talked to Ian, I lay there in bed for a long time, just thinking about everything. Dad was right in a way, anything could happen. What happened to Emma was proof of how short life was. There were two ways I could take that, I guess. I could not live it because I’m constantly worried about losing it, or someone that I care about. Or I could realize that since it is so unpredictable, and you never knew how long you would have…maybe I should live it to its fullest.
I evaluated what living it to its fullest meant to me. I wasn’t the type that wanted to scale a mountain or jump out of an airplane. What I was the type to do…was fall in love and risk ending up with a broken heart. I wanted Ian. I wanted a relationship with him and if that works out the way I hoped, maybe a life. I snuggled back down into the blankets and fell asleep…with a smile on my face.
When I woke up several hours later, I had an entirely different outlook on things than I’d had when I fell asleep the night before. I love Dad, but he was wrong. I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for life to happen to me. I wasn’t going to wait for tomorrow any longer to go after what I wanted. Poor Emma had so many plans…and now she doesn’t have any more tomorrows. I got up out of bed and put on my robe and slippers. I went out into the dining room and found Daddy there, reading the morning paper. I kissed him on the cheek and said, “Good morning.”
He looked surprised, but he smiled and said, “Good morning, pumpkin. How did you sleep?”
I poured a cup of coffee and sat down. “At first, not so well. But I did a lot of thinking and this morning, I had an epiphany.”
“What’s that?”
“You will still love me, even if you don’t approve of the risks I choose to take with my heart…and I will still love you even if you don’t approve of my choices in men. I really like, Ian Daddy. I’m not going to give him up out of fear that it won’t work out. I’m going to pour my whole heart into it and do whatever it takes to make it work. If it doesn’t, I’ll survive. But I’ll survive with the experience and the wisdom that only comes with living through a heart ache and moving on. I hope and pray that nothing bad ever happens to him, but I really think that’s true in any relationship. Look at what happened with Emma, Dad. No one expected that. It can happen to anyone. I have to do this, I want to be with Ian. I hope that I can pursue a relationship with him with your blessing. ”
He surprised me then, he nodded. “I thought about things all night too. I’m sorry, baby. I know that my experience with your mom really screwed me up. I should have probably done some counseling or something over it. But the point is that none of that has anything to do with you. I want you to be happy and if Ian makes you happy, then you have my blessing. I’ll even apologize to him when I see him again. I’m truly sorry.”
“You don’t know how happy that makes me,” I told him. “Thank you, Daddy. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby girl.” I got up and kissed him and said, “Do we have any poster paper?”
He smiled. “Going to the big fight armed with a sign, are you?”
“You bet. I’m going to watch my boyfriend win a title tonight.”
“Poster paper is in the cabinet in my office. Tell Ian I said good luck.” I kissed his cheek again. I was happy. For the first time since Emma died, I felt like things were finally coming together.
Chapter Seven
Ian
I stood at the back of the auditorium, looking out at the massive crowd and getting more psyched up for this. This wasn’t the little downtown auditorium I was used to. This was big time. This was the auditorium they used for professional basketball games and concerts and…professional fights. I was finally here and my blood was surging through my veins and filled with the heat of my passion. The crowd was unbelievable. I couldn’t believe this many people came to watch me. I guess that was slightly arrogant. I’m sure a few of them were her to watch Bo “Crusher” as well. Dean said it was standing room only and he wasn’t kidding. My first thought after all of that was that I hoped Alexa knew to ask for her ticket at the will call window. I forgot to tell her it was a different window here. I’m sure she can figure it out. They give me four tickets. I sometimes wonder what they think about a guy who has three left over every week. I couldn’t think about that right now though. My head had to be in this fight. But I hope Alexa figured it out. The place was a sell-out. Damn it! I hoped that she was here at all. I hoped that if she came, I saw her and that way I wouldn’t be worried about where she was and what was going on while my head was supposed to be in the fight. Jeez, I was a mess.
The lights went out suddenly and the big space exploded into the roar of the fans. I couldn’t see shit. How was I going to find Alexa? A spotlight cut the darkness all of a sudden and the big guy in the crew shirt told me to take a step back. I don’t know who he thinks he’s talking to. I’m the soon to be champion man!
“Back!” he said again. I stepped back. Next year the son of a bitch won’t talk to me like that, I guarantee it. The announcer’s voice rips through the roar of the crowd. He welcomed everyone and then it was suddenly on. My neck and shoulders felt like concrete as I heard him say, “Two-time middle weight champion Bo “Crusher” Bryce is here tonight defending his title against the undefeated Ian “The Axe” Axle.” The crowd cheered and booed and hissed and screamed. It was deafening. There was music playing too…some rap song or other, I could barely make it out. The air was electrified with excitement as they “welcomed” the challenger….Me.
As I jogged out, flanked by gigantic security on either side in front and behind me, my eyes squinted, trying to see past the burning light now shining right in my face and the mass of bodies around me. I needed to know she was here. I could hear people calling my name, but none of them sounded familiar. Her pretty red hair was usually easy to spot, but the auditorium was too dark and I was too blinded by the light.
Shit! I let myself be led out to the cage. I had no other choice. Once I took my corner of the Octagon I heard the announcer once again call out Bo’s name and title. I’ve never fought him, but I’d made watching his fights and his You Tube videos part of my routine. I knew his moves, his tricks, his strengths and his weaknesses and I intended to use mine to beat him. I was confident that I was ready for this and as far as this fight was concerned I had no doubt I would walk out tonight wearing that championship belt. My only doubts tonight were about who was in the audience.
As I waited for Bo to make it down the aisle, I searched again for a familiar face…and after several minutes of squinting, I found one…No, two. Well, I’ll be damned. My parents were here. Mom and Dad were sitting about four rows back at the end of the aisle and my Mom was holding…no wait! That big, yellow sign was being held up by a pair of hands next to my mom. It said, “Ian is the Champion,” in glitter. I could see the top of her red head from behind it before she lowered the sign and I saw her beautiful face. Alexa was here…and so were my parents. I guess I have three more reasons to lay this guy out.
Chapter Eight
Alexa
I realized that Ian saw us. I started to wave, but thought better of it. I’m sure he was already distracted enough, ju
st knowing that his parents came. I glanced at his mom. Poor thing looked like a nervous wreck. I had called her earlier just to see how they were doing. We started talking and I told her I was going to Ian’s championship fight.
“Ian’s fighting for a title tonight?”
“Yes, he didn’t tell you?” She started crying and I suddenly felt like crap.
“I’ve been such a horrible mother to him.”
“No! Oh no, don’t say that. Ian thinks you’re great. He loves you so much. He understands that you can’t watch him fight….” Kind of.
“No, I have been, Alexa. I’ve been so wrapped up in my grief that I’ve almost forgotten I have another child that needs me. What time is his fight?” I told her where and what time. And then I said, “I think it will be sold out…” I heard her suck in a breath, trying to control a sob before she let me finish. “His tickets are at the window. This is a different stadium though. So, look for pick-up or will-call and tell them who you are.”
I heard her let out the breath. “Thank you, Alexa. You’ve been such a good friend to both of my babies. I hope you know we love you.” I got choked up then. She was the closest thing to a mother that I ever had. I thanked her quickly and hung up.
I was further surprised when I got here and saw that his father came too. He looked proud and excited. It was the first time since Emma died that I saw any signs of life in his eyes. I hoped Ian was as happy to see them as they seemed to be just being here.
“Crusher” was standing in his corner glaring at Ian. He was completely bald and his oiled head glowed under the lights. The lack of hair emphasized the scars on his face and the way his nose sat to one side. He looked mean…and very dangerous. This was about defending his title. I doubted he was going to give it up easily.
The referee motioned for them to meet in the middle. They went out and he gave them the speech. The fighters seemed to be locked eye to eye and although I couldn’t hear what was said up there, the motion of “Crusher’s” lips and the glare in his eye made me think some serious words were being exchanged…or maybe only flung from the “champion.” It didn’t look like Ian said anything back. They tapped their knuckles together and then went back to their corners. A few seconds later the loud sound of a horn brought them back out. They met in the middle with raised fists. I felt Ian’s mom take my hand. As soon as the ref waved a hand between them and said, “Fight,” she squeezed it…tightly.
Dirty Boss (An Office Romance) (The Maxwell Family) Page 48