“This might burn some.” He said softly.
It did, but I remained still. He finished with my face and got up, but was back again within moments. He held out several pills and a bottle of water. I took them from him and swallowed them with a few sips of water.
I handed the bottle back to him and he took it and set it on the counter. His fingers started unbuttoning my shirt and I looked up quickly to meet his eyes. His eyes never left mine, until the shirt was undone. He looked down, but his face was devoid of any emotion.
He pulled my shirt to the sides, but didn’t take it off or make any move to remove my bra. His fingers reached out and gently touched the dark bruise to the side of my stomach and I shifted a little from the pain.
He continued pressing with his fingers and I knew he was checking to see if I was swollen inside. I tried to be still, but it hurt.
“Sorry.” He said softly.
His eyes glanced up to mine, “Just bruises.”
I nodded, my lips feeling dry and then he re-buttoned my shirt all the way to the top. He picked up my one hand and started cleaning the dried blood crusted to the knuckles. I hadn’t even bothered to try to clean my hand last night or this morning.
I studied him, as he was focused in on my hand. What was it that he wanted from me?
He had to want something. He wanted information on Victor, but that was no reason for doing all this. He didn’t even demand I service him. Why?
My study of him was interrupted when he asked, with a curious tone to his voice, “You hit Victor?”
“No, I hit a mirror.”
He looked up and I glanced away swallowing hard with emotion. His finger brought my face back around and he shook his head softly and then went back to the job of wrapping my hand. I stared at him in sudden frustration.
It was so easy to hate all men, why did he have to make me feel that he was different somehow? Surely he would do something soon to make me hate him. Yes that was it. It had to be!
He finished with my hand and for the first time I caught a hint of awkwardness as he lightly tapped the top of my thigh,
“Anything….?” He briefly glanced up and then back down and then away.
Repeating himself he asked, “Any problems?”
His somewhat shy awkwardness was a mystery and yet it was refreshing in some way.
“No, they make pencils that are bigger than Victor.”
He looked up at me sharply and I could tell that I had shocked him. He looked away, but not before I caught the glimpse of a smile.
“Let’s get some food ready.” He said standing quickly and walking towards the table. Unbelievably he began to cook!
The smell of food and better than that, good food, soon brought Rafael out of the bedroom.
I was stuffed! I shouldn’t have eaten so much. It probably looked bad. The full stomach was making me sleepy to. The stranger got up and headed for the sink and I had mutely started to get up, when a big palm on my shoulder pushed me back down into my seat.
I stayed there listening to him clean the dishes in a sleepy sense of shock at the strange change of events. He pulled up on my elbow and I stood up. He started leading me toward the bedroom. I was suddenly wide awake.
When he reached the room he said, “Lie down.”
I did as he said and he rolled me onto my stomach and I knew that he was going to make me hate him now. He started rubbing my back and I waited for the massage to end, but he just kept rubbing and kneading with his big hands.
I’d never had a client do this to me before. It felt good, but it filled me with questions and I asked, “You’re not going to….?”
My voice trailed off, but my meaning was clear enough.
“I told you I wouldn’t, didn’t I?” He said.
His big hands never stopped moving and I relaxed under the deep pressure of them. Surprisingly I trusted the stranger to keep his word, as unbelievable a thing as that was.
I was getting very sleepy and I just couldn’t help myself. Somewhat slurred sounding even to my own ears I asked, “What’s your name?”
“Clark.”
It wasn’t the kind of name I would’ve pictured for him. I closed my eyes and sunk into the pillow all thought drifting from me.
Clark continued deliberately pressing on Evangelina’s pressure points knowing that he would render her into a deep unconsciousness within moments.
He felt her breathing deepen and knew she was asleep. He kept up his movements for a little while longer and then stopped altogether.
Clark turned to the little boy watching from the doorway and brought a finger up in the universal sign to be quiet as he got up off the bed. Clark stepped out of the room leaving Evangelina alone in the room and closed the door behind him
I came awake with a start my head lifting off the pillows. The shadows were long in the room. I sat up in alarm.
I had slept the entire day away!
I got out of the bed and noticed immediately that everything felt better, even my face. I opened the door, but stopped when I heard voices. It was Rafael and the stranger. I could see Rafael well, but I couldn’t see, what was his name, Clark. I couldn’t see Clark, but I could hear him.
Rafael was asking a question, “Why do you not use Evangelina for your pleasure? Other men do.”
I let my head fall against the doorpost as my heart constricted painfully.
“Because I’m not a whore.” Came the deep response.
I picked my head up slightly not sure I’d heard Clark right.
Rafael’s voice was confused sounding as well, “I do not understand? She is the whore, not you.”
“The man is as guilty as the woman is. There both whores when they participate in activities meant for marriage relationships only. My opinion is that the man is the worst of the two, generally speaking.”
Rafael openly sounded confused now, “How is that?”
There was a momentary pause, “There both sinning, but the man is the one with the money usually. He’s the one that seeks out the sin. He doesn’t need to, but he desires to, when in reality the sin might never have to happen if he didn’t give in to his own lust. Now for the woman’s part it’s not often desire that’s the reason behind her choice, but necessity or so it would seem. Let me ask you something. Do you think Evangelina desires her line of work?”
Rafael’s response was quick, “No! She hates it, but if she stopped we would starve!”
There was a pause and then Rafael asked inquisitively, “Haven’t you been a man whore, as you put it?”
“I was at one time.” Came the deep reply.
“It’s a time in my life that I’m trying not to repeat. You see Rafael; a person can quit something they’re doing wrong at any time.”
“There’s nothing else for her to do! She’s tried! We would starve!”
“There can be consequences to doing the right thing Rafael. Yes, you could starve, but perhaps something unforeseen could occur and you might not starve. The important thing is to not only die in honor, but also to live by honor. There are other ways of dying than starvation. You can die inside before your body does on the outside.”
“I still can’t see a way out! We would starve!” Rafael exclaimed in puzzlement.
The conversation seemed to come to an end and I waited a little letting some time go by, as the conversation replayed over and over in my head.
I opened the door the rest of the way and stepped into the other room. Rafael saw me and got up off the floor quickly.
“Have you eaten Rafael?” He quickly nodded and I said, “Then it’s time for you to go to bed.”
He started to argue.
“Don’t argue! Bed now!” I said motioning to the other room and reluctantly he went.
It was hard to imagine, but I was hungry.
“On the table.”
I glanced over and saw a plate full of food all ready there.
“Probably a little cold, sorry. I didn’t want to wake you.�
�
I sat down at the table and he got up off the floor and sat across from me in the evening gloom.
“You heard all that didn’t you?” He asked.
I looked up and nodded slightly.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel guilty. It’s not my place to judge.”
“But it’s the truth.” I said softly before finishing my meal.
After I was done I looked up to see him watching me.
“Where do you want me to begin with Victor?” I asked.
“Anywhere you want to.”
I began to talk and he would ask questions that prompted me to remember things I hadn’t even thought of as important, but that he seemed to think were. Two hours went by and I felt the topic of Victor was completely exhausted of anything new to say. We sat in complete darkness.
“That’s all I know.” And it was enough to get me killed several times over, but I didn’t say that.
“Thank you Evangelina.”
I got up and started for the bedroom, but I stopped and turned back, “Clark?”
“Yes?”
“I’m ready to die even willing to, but how can I either live or die in honor when I know what will happen to Rafael after I’m gone? How Clark?”
I left him with that question and continued on to the bedroom closing the door behind me.
Chapter Four
Goodbye
Several days went by. Clark would disappear for long periods of time and then when I thought he had left, he would be back, usually bringing more food with him.
I bumped into the landlady only to see from her arched eyebrow look that she knew of my guest. It was from her that I found out that Clark had all ready paid the rest of the month out for my room and it was the beginning of the month!
I stepped into the apartment and was surprised to see Clark there. It was midday; he was usually gone around this time.
I made him and Rafael lunch and then I asked a little breathlessly, “Could you watch Rafael for a little while for me? I have an errand to run.”
He nodded and I slipped out the door relieved.
Clark looked at Rafael, “Where is she going?”
“Same place she goes every Tuesday.” He mumbled out not looking up.
“Which is?” Clark pressed the little boy.
Rafael looked up with pain in his eyes, “To see my mother.”
Clark studied him for a moment and then reached down to his belt and pulled a beautifully engraved dagger out from it. He held it up in front of Rafael.
Rafael’s eyes practically glazed over with love for the knife in the way any young boys would have.
“If you promise you’ll stay in the apartment and not let anyone in but Evangelina or me I’ll give you this knife.”
“I promise!” Came the rote answer.
Clark rushed out of the apartment only pausing long enough to hear Rafael slide the locks closed shut. Rushing down the stairs at breakneck speed he was in time to see Evangelina up ahead of him and he commenced following her at a distance.
She walked briskly for over an hour. Finally it seemed that she reached her destination. It was a hospital. Clark drew closer so he didn’t lose her.
It had to be at the very far end of the hospital, when she stopped outside of a ward. The hospital was rundown and showed its age. Security didn’t seem to be a focus of theirs either.
Clark watched Evangelina slip some money to an orderly to let her through a door. Clark decided to try the same tactic. The orderly stared at him speechless wondering why he would be in such a place let alone pay so much to enter.
Clark slipped inside the hallway and was assailed by the unpleasant smells of neglected patients. As he made his way down the hall he could see that it was more of a nursing home than it was a hospital. He saw Evangelina give another orderly even more money. She turned down another hallway and at the far end she stopped.
A tired looking nurse saw her and gave a brief smile before her expression turned serious. She laid a hand on Evangelina’s arm and said something. Among other skills Clark had learned in his life was the valuable asset of being able to read lips.
“It’s her heart. It’s failing. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do. It’s good you came because she doesn’t have long.”
The nurse walked on down the hallway and Evangelina slowly entered the room. Standing in a shadowed doorway Clark waited for over two hours before Evangelina walked by, her face wet with tears and her steps listless and lacking of energy.
After she was gone he went down the hall to the little room that was as tiny as a closet and probably had been at one time. It barely fit the bed and the still figure that rested on it.
Clark had seen a lot of death in his life and he recognized it now. He stepped into the room and looked down at the figure of a person at rest. It was like looking into Evangelina’s face. The woman on the bed had to be Evangelina’s twin sister.
Preparations quickly made, Clark left the hospital at a full run in an effort to get back to the apartment before Evangelina did.
Clark sat in his seat at the table masterfully trying to control his heavy breathing while appearing to breathe normally. Rafael sat at the table with him in deep mute satisfaction with his first knife. He had already nicked himself twice with it, but he was careful to not let on to the injuries for fear of having the knife taken away from him.
Clark was wiping some sweat off when Evangelina entered the apartment. She didn’t even so much as glance at them, but went straight to her room and closed the door.
Rafael looked as if he was going to follow, but Clark stopped him, “I think it would be best if you let her have some time to herself.”
The little boy looked puzzled, but he obeyed. Clark got up and left the apartment.
I sat staring at the plate of food in front of me lacking any desire to eat it. I should. If being a whore was a sin then not eating good food, as hard as it was to come by, must also be.
My hands didn’t move to the task though and I continued to sit still. I’d sent Rafael to bed over an hour ago. He’d been so excited over the knife Clark had given him that I hadn’t had the heart to tell him that his mother was dead.
He had stopped going with me to visit her a little over a year ago. The nursing ward with its strange sights and bad smells wasn’t something a little boy looked forward to seeing and I didn’t blame him. I’d hated seeing my sister in such a place for years to, but it had been all I could afford, actually more than I could afford really.
I had always hoped that one day Maria would sit up out of her coma and come home with me, but that would never happen now. Perhaps it was for the best anyway. Their situation was dire enough here without adding another mouth to feed and take care of.
I’d used all of Victor’s money just to get into the ward. None of it was left!
I didn’t even have any money to see that Maria got a proper burial. She’d be thrown into an unmarked pit!
The thought of that brought fresh tears to my eyes. I bent over keening softly in grief. She deserved so much better!
I heard the door open behind me and I knew somehow without looking that it was Clark. I sat up abruptly and wiped my eyes quickly hearing him approach from behind.
“I made you dinner.” I said pointing to a plate across from mine, “I can warm it up.”
He brushed past me, “No, this is fine.” He said sitting down.
He brushed his plate to the side and I looked at him questioningly. He reached across the table with one of his long arms and brushed my plate to the side and laid something down in its place.
“I followed you today. I hope you don’t mind what I’ve done.” Clark said softly.
I looked down at what he had laid on the table. It was a picture and I stared at it unable to comprehend the enormity of what I was seeing on it. It couldn’t be!
My eyes drifted to the little white lettering at the bottom of the picture that clearly displayed the date confirmin
g that the pictured had been taken today.
The grass was green and well taken care of around the fresh dirt of a gravesite in the picture. A huge bouquet of colored roses and lilies lay sprawled elegantly across the bare dirt of the grave. There was a polished rose quartz granite headstone, which clearly read, ‘In loving memory of Maria Celina Frontao. Beloved sister and mother.’
I dropped the picture and stood up moving toward Clark, who watched me, uncertainly. I fell to my knees before him and would’ve kissed his feet, but he caught me by the upper arms before I could.
“Evangelina don’t do that!” He exclaimed.
I looked up at him completely choked up and half screamed out, “Why? Why are you doing all this for me?”
I stared up at him beseechingly in search of an answer.
“Because I can. Because I want to!” He said simply and I read the honesty of his answer in his eyes.
He’d had no ulterior motive. He’d just wanted to help. Help me of all people!
I lost it. I sobbed against his legs, as I thanked him over and over. Eventually I just lay curled up against his legs with my cheek resting on his drenched knee. It was like I was in peaceful shock in the aftermath of my outpouring of emotion. I didn’t want to move and he wasn’t making me.
The fingers of one of his hands stroked over and over through my long black hair in a comforting gesture that I had never thought possible of a man. Surely such a man as Clark hadn’t been born in the same world I had been!
“Do you want to talk about her? They say that helps sometimes with grief, but I don’t know for sure.”
I swallowed hard not knowing where to start.
“You were twins?” He asked softly prompting.
“Yes, identical twins. We did everything together as girls. We could even feel how each of us was feeling, when we were apart from each other. That changed when we were eight. We both got sick. I got over it quickly, but Maria couldn’t get over it. The doctors thought she would die, because her fever was so high for so long. Eventually it went away, but she wasn’t the same. As we got older it became more apparent. She was like a little girl trapped inside. She never got any older, even though her body did. Father was embarrassed by her and he wanted to send her away, but I begged and pleaded with him not to, promising to take care of her myself. I did just that until something changed. I fell in love. I was eighteen, and the boy from another influential family in town came home from school. We dated. We made plans to marry, since the match was agreeable to both our families. Mostly because it would match up the influence and wealth both of our families possessed. I planned to take Maria with me, when I found out that Philip was not the man I had thought he was. When I had not been around he had taken advantage of Maria! Almost from the moment I had met him! All through our year-long courtship! When I found out about what he had been doing I confronted him. If anything he was actually proud of himself! He told me he wanted to get a taste for what I would be like so what better way than with my twin sister. He said I was making him the envy of all men by having two beautiful women at his beck and call. He even added that it was a plus that he would only have to hear one of us talk. If the servants hadn’t pulled me off of him I would’ve killed him. I called the marriage off against my father’s wishes. He wanted me to marry him anyway, saying boys will be boys. He only wanted the money and influence the marriage would bring. A month later it became clear that Maria was pregnant. Father was furious and in a fit of rage at the apparent dishonor to our family name he hit Maria. She fell hitting her head off a marble end table on the way to the floor. She never regained consciousness. Father said that we had both brought disgrace to his name and he kicked us both out. Seven months later Rafael was born. After he was born the hospital didn’t want to keep Maria alive, but I begged them to. Finally one of the doctors said that he would if I…… I…..”
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