by Roy Glenn
We’ve been dedicated to this celebration for years and this year especially and yeah, it’s about Vickie, but isn’t everything with me these days.
Regret is a mutha fucka.
I regret my actions and my inactions, you know, what I did and didn’t do, what I shoulda done and didn’t and I’ve made peace with myself. But my regret over Vickie dying changed me in so many ways and it informs the decisions I make and the things I do.
But more than anything, I miss Vickie, so drinking and smoking helps dull the pain I feel for what I allowed to happen. That’s how I refer to it now. What I allowed to happen sounds better than I killed her.
Right?
“So let’s find this mutha fucka, kill him and be done with it,” I said and lit the bob.
“Shame,” Bobby said.
“What?”
“I kinda like Smitty,” Bobby said, and we went to a spot on the avenue called Jimmy’s that him and his crew hung out in.
When we walked in the place, there weren’t a lot of people in there that weren’t with Smitty. That was bad for us since our plan was to walk up on him, shoot him twice in the head and leave and never get to the Andre wants his money part. We were outnumbered and definitely outgunned, so we had a decision to make.
“Not including Smitty, I count six of them that I know,” I said to Bobby.
“Morgan, William, Ben, Jake, Ethan and Alex,” he counted. “Maybe more.”
“You wanna come back with numbers?”
“It would be the smart thing to do, but when have we ever done smart shit?” Bobby asked, but before I could answer, the decision was made for us.
Morgan rushed up and punched Bobby in the face. He reached back, and punched Morgan and he went down and it was on.
I kicked Morgan in the face and was about to pull out my gun when Alex grabbed me by my coat, reached back and hit me in the face.
Oh, it was definitely on then.
I grabbed Alex, and we locked up for a while and then I hit him with blow after blow until he went down. I stood over Alex and kicked him a few times.
William ran up on Bobby and they exchanged blows. Then Bobby grabbed him and slung him toward a wall. Bobby ran up on him and rammed him face first into the wall over and over again. With his back turned, he didn’t see Ethan coming. Before he could get to Bobby, I tackled him, and we hit the floor.
We rolled around on the floor until I got on top of him. When I did, I hit Ethan with lefts and rights to the face. That was when I remembered that I had two guns. I took one out of my pocket and hit him with that until he stopped fighting back and passed out.
By that time Bobby and Jake were going blow for blow. I saw Smitty in the back of Jimmy’s telling Ben to get us. Ben looked at him like he was crazy, and then he ran at me. I raised both of my guns. One at the back of Jake’s head and the other in Ben’s face. They both stopped moving.
Bobby punched Jake in the face, took out his gun and pointed it at Smitty. He was inching his way to the back door. Bobby fired one shot that hit the wall in front of Smitty and he froze.
“Fuck you think you’re going?” Bobby said as he walked up on him. “You got Andre’s money?”
“It’s like this, Bobby,” Smitty began and Bobby shot him in the face.
“No, it’s like that,” Bobby said and then he turned and fired on Ethan. I put one in the back of Jake’s head and one in Ben’s head. Bobby shot Alex and I killed William on our way out of Jimmy’s. After that, we got back in Bobby’s car.
Chapter Six
December 18
It was almost one in the morning when the three of us staggered into Cynt’s. But instead of going straight to our private VIP lounge, we went to the bar and ordered drinks like everybody else. It freaked Adrian, the bartender, out, because we never order at the bar.
“Why did she look at me like that?” Wanda asked.
“How did she look at you?” Bobby asked.
“Like I don’t belong here,” Wanda said.
“You’re not a regular, but you are with us,” Bobby began. “And it’s usually just me and Mike.”
It was then that Lo-Lo came out of the dressing room and was heading for the stage when she saw me. She immediately changed direction and came to me.
“Hey, Black,” she said, got on her toes and kissed me on the cheek. “You come to get us?”
“Lo-Lo,” the DJ said, and she looked toward the DJ booth. “You’re on stage now.”
Lo-Lo gave him the finger and turned back to me.
“No, I’m just hanging out,” I said and pointed at Bobby and Wanda.
Lo-Lo smiled. “Hey, Wanda.”
“Hi, Lo-Lo,” Wanda said and returned Lo-Lo’s smile, totally oblivious to the fact that Lo-Lo thought Wanda was fine and she told me that she wanted to seduce her.
But don’t tell Anya. You know how she can get, Lo-Lo said. Anya was the jealous one in our little group.
“Wanda the only one you see standing here?” Bobby asked.
“Hey, Bobby,” Lo-Lo said without taking her eyes off Wanda. “I see you all the time.”
“Go on and go to work,” I told her.
Lo-Lo kissed me again and went quickly toward the stage. On her way, she saw Anya. She was sitting on some man’s lap with her arms around his neck. Lo-Lo pointed at me and Anya quickly hopped up from his lap and started toward me. I held up my hand to let her know that it was okay. She looked at me and nodded her head before she went back to what she was doing. Like I said, Anya is a little on the jealous side and is confused by the fact that me and Lo-Lo don’t seem to be. It was about then that Cynt walked up.
“Mr. Black, Mr. Ray,” Cynt said and kissed Bobby on the cheek and he palmed a handful of her big ass.
“What’s up, Cynt?” I said.
“They the only ones you see standing here?” Wanda asked.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Wanda. I didn’t see you standing there.”
Wanda doesn’t like Cynt and makes no secret of it, so Cynt goes out of her way to try to please Wanda.
“Uh, huh.” Wanda rolled her eyes and drained her glass. She pointed to Adrian and signaled that she wanted another round for us. “How are we doing tonight?”
“We’re doing good tonight.” Cynt looked around. “Got a good crowd and they’re spending money. Gambling room is packed too and we’re way ahead for the night.”
“Good,” Wanda said and looked away.
“Show me,” Bobby said. Cynt smiled and started heading toward the gambling room with Bobby right behind that big ass.
“Bobby fuckin’ her too?” Wanda asked.
I looked at her. “Why don’t you like her?” I asked instead of answering her question.
“I never said I didn’t like her. I’m just taking my time and checking her out.” Wanda sipped her drink. “You got her running our best earning spot. A spot you handed her after she killed Roscoe.”
“I didn’t just hand it to her. She stepped up and took control of the spot when no one else did.”
“After she killed Roscoe, Mike. And that is the thing that I keep coming back to is that she killed Roscoe and eased into his position.”
“And that bothers you?”
“I know that’s how it is in our business; my point is that neither of you knew her that well before she killed Roscoe. Suddenly she’s running the women and before anybody really realizes it she’s running things and got other things going to make money. Seems like this is somebody that needs watching to be sure if we can trust her.”
“I see your point.”
“I’m glad you do.” Wanda paused and looked at me in a way that told me that she had something else to say and was thinking of a way to say it. “Because you and Bobby, especially Bobby, make too many decisions with your dicks. There, I said it.”
I kissed Wanda on the cheek. “Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For always looking out for us.”
“You don’t have to thank me.
This is us. This family is us. It’s you, it’s me, it’s Bobby, and I protect this family.” Wanda tapped her chest. “With my life, if necessary.”
“So will I.”
“You always do. Every day, all day, doing the things necessary to make us strong and keep us safe. But you can’t do everything, so you got me.”
I kissed Wanda on the cheek. “Thank you anyway.”
“You’re drunk!”
“Yes, but I mean it, Wanda.” I put my arm around her. “I appreciate you and everything you do.”
“Now I know you’re drunk,” she said and tried to push me off.
“Fucked up in this mutha fucka and this Remy ain’t making it no better.” I shot my drink. “But I can’t do this without you, Wanda.”
“You’ll never have to. I promise, Mike, I will always be here for you.” She put her arms around my waist and hugged me.
“You’re drunk,” I laughed.
“Yes, yes. Bombed out my fuckin’ mind in this mutha fucka!” Wanda shouted and drained her Remy. “I don’t even know how I’m still standing up.” She put her glass on the bar. “But I mean it, I love you and Bobby, and I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to either one of you.”
Me and Wanda stood there looking at each other while we had our moment. It was about Vickie, of course, but I guess everything’s about Vickie for her too these days. Then Wanda hugged me again. “Now I’m gonna take my drunk ass home. See you in the morning.”
“Call a cab.”
She saluted. “Got no choice. My car is still at Morris’s,” Wanda said and got that look on her face. “I was thinking about making it a soul food place and changing the name.”
“To what?”
“I don’t know.” She turned and started for the door. “I’ll let you know when something comes to me.”
“See you in the morning, but not too early,” I shouted as Wanda semi-staggered away.
I shot my drink and watched Lo-Lo on stage for a while and suddenly felt like I needed to sit down. I staggered to our private lounge and sat down. When I did, the room started spinning so I closed my eyes and rested my head against the wall, knowing that passing out was coming soon.
When Lo-Lo came in, I opened my eyes and saw that she was dressed to leave. “You done for the night?”
“Done working here.”
The room began spinning again, so I closed my eyes. “What’s up with that?”
“Fuckin’ DJ wanna fine me a hundred dollars for not coming up on stage fast enough. I think he’s just mad cause I gave him the finger.”
“What about Anya?” I asked as Lo-Lo put her head on my shoulder and I put my arm around her. “She quit too?”
“I haven’t had a chance to tell her yet. But you know she will as soon as I tell her. I didn’t want to bother her. That nigga she with droppin’ major paper,” Lo-Lo said and that’s the last thing I remember. The next thing I knew, Anya was coming in the lounge apologizing for taking so long.
“What time is it?” Lo-Lo asked.
“Five-thirty-five,” Anya said.
“Guess we fell asleep,” I said and Lo-Lo laughed.
“Baby, you passed the fuck out on me,” she said and after that we left Cynt’s and went home.
Home.
Wanda’s right, they aren’t company anymore, I guess we did live together.
I mean they do have a key.
I woke up the next morning to the sound of the phone ringing. It was starting to be a regular thing. But I guess it’s inevitable that everybody was gonna call me here and it would have to be early since I refuse to carry a cellphone around with me.
“Hello,” Lo-Lo said when she answered.
“Let me talk to Mike, Lo-Lo,” I heard Wanda say and she handed me the phone.
“What’s up?”
“LaKela was raped.”
“What?” I sat up in bed. “What did you say?”
“LaKela was raped last night. The police are looking for O. They say that he beat her badly.”
“Where are you?” I asked as I got out of bed.
“At home.”
“Stay there. I’m coming.”
I hung up and called Bobby.
“Sup, Mike?”
“O raped LaKela.”
“That mutha fucka!”
“Meet me at Wanda’s,” I said and hung up the phone. When I got to Wanda’s apartment, Bobby was already there. “You hear anything else?” I asked Wanda.
“LaKela is still in the hospital. They are keeping her for observation,” Wanda reported.
“We should go see her,” I suggested.
“Good idea,” Wanda said. “Let me get changed.”
While Wanda changed to go with us to the hospital, me and Bobby talked about LaKela, or good girl as we called her. And she was, LaKela Jackson was a good girl that never hurt anybody.
When we arrived at the hospital, LaKela’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Jackson were sitting in the waiting area. Mrs. Jackson was crying, and he was doing his best to comfort her. She looked over at us like we were the scum of the earth. Despite that, Wanda walked over to them to offer our sympathy for what happened to their daughter.
Bobby saw somebody he knew that worked there and he went to talk to her to see if he could get some information. I sat there by myself, looking on as Wanda talked to the Jacksons, but the entire time, Mr. Jackson was looking dead at me, rubbing his wife’s back. I sat there looking at him wondering if maybe he thought that I had something to do with it and then he stood up. He walked toward me, and I stood up to greet him.
“Mike.”
“Mr. Jackson,” I said and extended my hand and to my surprise he accepted it. I was surprised because he hadn’t spoken to me in years. He would see and not see me.
“I just want to say that I’m sorry for what happened to LaKela. She is a good person that never did anything to anybody.”
Mr. Jackson nodded. “I need you to do something for me, Mike.”
“Anything, sir, you just have to ask.”
“I need you to find the animal that did this to my baby,” Mr. Jackson said.
“Yes, sir.”
“I need you to hurt him the way he hurt my baby. You understand me, Mike?”
“Yes, sir. You have my word.”
Mr. Jackson extended his hand and we shook on the understanding we’d just reached. Mr. Jackson walked back over to his wife, sat down and went back to rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her. After a while, Wanda came back and sat next to me.
“Wow. What did you and Mr. Jackson talk about?”
“Justice,” I said and told Wanda what he said to me.
“Wow,” she said again. “After all these years of not speaking, now he wants you to give him justice.”
“It’s okay, Wanda. You never wanna know a guy like me, until you need a guy like me.”
“I guess.”
“Besides, he really didn’t have to ask,” I said as Bobby came back.
“Ask what?”
“Mr. Jackson just talked to Mike.”
“Get the fuck outta here. What he say?”
“He wants me to find who did this and hurt them. Come on. We got shit to do,” I said, got up and once I made eye contact with Mr. Jackson, we left the hospital in search of our new prey.
“You find out anything about LaKela?” I asked Bobby as he drove away.
“Floria told me that they’re keeping her for more than just observation.”
“How is she?” Wanda asked. “They aren’t giving her parents a lot of information.”
“She said LaKela’s in shock. He beat her badly with some kinda blunt object before he raped her and then he sodomized her with something, they’re not sure what.”
“Did she say that it was O that did it?”
“She didn’t know.”
For the rest of the afternoon we looked for O and I resisted the temptation to drop Wanda off somewhere. We still hadn’t caught up with Gun, so
we were looking for him too. I really didn’t want Wanda around for any of that, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Even though her parents didn’t want LaKela around us, there was a time when we were all just a bunch of kids that played together. Those days, LaKela, Vickie and Wanda were the very best of friends. It wasn’t until we got older that we became the scum of the earth.
I looked in the backseat at Wanda as Bobby drove, tears were streaming down her cheeks. I could only imagine where her head is right now. Even though this was the last place she needed to be, this was exactly where she needed to be.
“You okay?” I asked.
Wanda wiped away her tears. “I’m fine, Mike,” she said and faked a smile.
“You sure?”
She shook her head. “No, but I’ll be all right.”
Bobby looked back at Wanda and then to me.
“Where we going?” he asked.
Since he knew where O liked to hang out, I guess he wanted to know if we were dropping off Wanda.
“Roll by Mendez Bodega, see if he’s out there,” I said, and Bobby looked at me. He motioned his head toward Wanda and I nodded my head to let him know that I was cool with Wanda riding. “Park around the block and we’ll walk up there.”
Mendez Bodega or more correctly, the corner it was located on was a hot spot for whatever you wanted. It was controlled by Chilly and run by his boy Derrick ‘D-train’ Washington. Since he was down with Charlie Rock, I’d known Chilly for years. He ran a no-nonsense program. We were cool and more importantly, we had mutual respect for one another.
D-Train, on the other hand, I thought that he was a pussy ass backstabbing coward. I don’t know what he thought of me, and honestly, I didn’t give a fuck. Like I said, D-Train’s a pussy ass backstabbing coward, I told him that to his face and invited him to do something about it, and he did nothing.
O wasn’t a part of D-train’s crew, he just hung around there, trying to hustle up on whatever money he could get, doing whatever it took to get it. If O was up there, I didn’t want him to see us drive by and run. It was too fuckin’ cold to be chasing him through the streets.
Not today.
When we got there, and Bobby parked, I had another chance to have a change of heart about Wanda being there. I’ll wait here, was what I was hoping she’d say, but she got out of the car. I wondered if she had her gun with her. Once again, me and Bobby exchanged looks and since she doesn’t miss much, Wanda saw it.