Wrong Side of Heaven

by Riley, Gia

  “Don’t talk about her like that.”

  “Ah, still defending her. She breaks your heart, and you can’t let go. You’ll learn, little brother. Never fall first.” He laughs again and spins around in his stupid desk chair.

  I’m glad this is amusing him. You’d think the guy who was walked out on would have a little more sympathy.

  “You’re an asshole.”

  “I might be an asshole, but I’m not the reason she quit,” he tells me.

  “She said that?”

  “Didn’t have to. It was written all over her face. When I brought your name up, she clammed up and couldn’t look at me. She’s watching Lydia though. Figured she still needed money, and it’ll give Mom a break. So, I’m not a total asshole, Jasper. I do have a heart.”

  I guess I should be thankful that he didn’t let her walk out of here with no money coming in. Ace was just as scared as I was when she passed out. At least he thought of another way to help her.

  “Good, I’m glad.”

  He kicks his feet up onto the desk and relaxes. “I might take a beach day if you want to go with me.”

  The beach. I could be there right now, soaking up some sun, maybe even hooking up with some girls. But, when I think about kissing someone, the only lips I want belong to Winnie. She’s the one I want to be with.

  I need to talk to her.

  “I’ll be back,” I tell him.

  “Don’t piss her off. I need her to babysit!” he yells as I jog back toward the parking lot. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out where I’m going.

  I expect Winnie’s halfway home by now, but as soon as I round the corner, I see her kicking around the mulch on the playground, and I wonder if she’s waiting for me. Why else would she be lingering around The Whip after she quit?

  But, the closer I get, I see the smile on her face and the phone in her hand. I didn’t think she had a phone, but whomever she’s talking to has put a huge grin on that gorgeous face of hers.

  I wait until she hangs up, and then I catch up to her.

  She jumps when I fall into stride next to her, matching her footsteps. “You scared me.”

  I skip the apologies this time. I’m sorry she’s with someone else, but I’m not sorry I followed her. “Why’d you quit, Winnie?”

  “It was time.”

  “You just started. The Whip was our thing. You look out for me, and I look out for you while we’re there.”

  “Things change. I shouldn’t have been working there anyway. I’m not old enough to be in a place like that.”

  “Neither am I.”

  Her excuse is lame and not the reason she quit. I want her to admit that I’m the reason, and then maybe I’ll let it go.

  “Don’t make this harder, Jasper. I had to quit. We both know it would have been weird.”

  It’s weird because she quit. It’s weird because she was in bed with me and then kissing someone else. She did this; I didn’t.

  “It doesn’t have to be like this, Winnie. Let me back in, and we’ll go back to being friends.”

  “It’s not that simple,” she says. “We both know there’s more to it than that.”

  Does that mean she feels something, too? Because, if she does, I definitely won’t give up on her. I’ll stick around until she realizes she made the wrong choice.

  “Who is he? Did he give you the phone?”

  She nods and then chews on her fingernail. It’s not like I can’t find out who’s living in the trailer. All I have to do is look up the address or make a couple of calls, and I’ll have the information.

  “Does he go to our school?”

  “No,” she whispers. “He’s not from around here.”

  “Where does he work?”

  “Why are you asking me so many questions? It doesn’t matter where he works or how much money he makes. I don’t care about those things.”

  For someone who doesn’t care, she sure is defensive about him. I want to keep pressing her for answers, but pissing her off will only push her further away. I go for honesty instead.

  “I’m just making sure you’re okay, Winnie.”

  A little smile peeks out. She tries to keep it hidden, but it seems like she appreciates the fact that I still care. I care. She might not want my attention anymore, but I can’t magically unlike the girl. She’s ingrained in my brain like a bad habit, a habit I don’t see myself kicking anytime soon.

  “I’m okay, Jasper.”

  “You always say that, even when you’re hurting.”

  She doesn’t disagree. Then, she surprises me and starts talking, “He’s taking classes, so he has to go back and forth between work and school a lot. Sometimes, he stays there and doesn’t come home. He’ll be gone for a couple of weeks actually.”

  A couple of weeks.

  “So, you’re free to hang out while he’s away?”

  “Jasper, I can’t,” she says.

  Then, she gets distracted by a text on her phone. Obviously, it’s from him because her eyes light up as she reads it. I’d do anything to be the one to put that look on her face.

  She never finishes her sentence because a couple of cop cars fly by us so fast, she almost drops the phone. We both watch them drive down the road and then come to a stop in the trailer park. Normally, I wouldn’t think twice about it, but Winnie’s eyes grow wide.

  “What?” I ask her.

  “I can’t tell from here, but I think they might have stopped in front of my house.”

  I grab her hand because it’s shaking, and she’s so scared, she lets me hold it. But that’s been our thing, so I try not to read into it.

  We jog, hand in hand, down the street, toward the flashing lights. The closer we get, the tighter her grip is.

  “It’s okay, Winnie. I promise.”

  “You don’t know that,” she says. “The police don’t show up for no reason. If they bust Tess and Jax, I’ll have to leave, too.”

  She shouldn’t have said that. Now that she’s laid the truth on the line, my nonchalant attitude disappears, and I want to heave into the bushes. They can’t take Winnie away. She needs people who will watch out for her. She has Ace and me and whoever the guy is across the street. Without us, she’ll be all alone.

  I pull on her arm and slow her down. “Hang back a second.”

  Two cop cars are lined up out front, and there’s an ambulance in the driveway. Jax is on the stairs, talking with an officer.

  “I have to go inside and see what’s going on.”

  “You can’t. It might not be safe.”

  She leans against my side, and I wrap my arm around her shoulders. An officer notices us standing there and walks over.

  Winnie looks up at me and then back down. “Jasper, I can’t. The last time I talked to the cops, my dad was dead.”

  “I’ve got this,” I tell her. “Let me handle it.”

  I’ve never been face-to-face with an officer. I haven’t been pulled over for speeding or been in any accidents. When we’re little, we’re told to trust law enforcement and that they’re here for our own good. Right now, all I see is a threat. They could take Winnie away from me.

  The officer asks some simple questions, and I tell him who Winnie is and that she lives there. He doesn’t make her talk, only notes where she is and what she’s doing. He jots a few things down on some paper and then delivers news that lets the air back into my lungs.

  Tess didn’t overdose, and she’s going to be okay.

  When I walk back over to Winnie, she says, “What is it, Jasper? Just say it.”

  “She fell and knocked her head on the side of the tub. They’re taking her to the hospital for some stitches and observation because she passed out.”

  “Do they know about the drugs?”

  I shrug because I have no idea. That’s not the kind of thing you bring up to a cop. Considering Tess was getting ready for a shift at The Whip, there’s a chance she might have been fairly sober. Sometimes, she waits until she’s there t
o get lit even though Ace tells all the girls to keep their shit out of his dressing room.

  “I thought she was dead,” she says.

  There’s no chance she’s gone. Even with a concussion, Tess’s heart is still beating. The stretcher makes its way out of the house, and the medics load her in the back of the ambulance. Other than the IV in her arm and the bandage around her head, she seems okay.

  Winnie watches the whole thing play out, and then Jax walks across the yard, toward us. She grabs my hand again, and I step in front of her, shielding her body from him. He won’t do anything stupid as long as the cops are here, but that doesn’t mean he won’t say a bunch of shit he shouldn’t.

  She cowers behind me, and Jax looks angry enough to break her in half. He gets so close, I can smell the alcohol on his breath.

  “You say one word, little girl, and you’ll pay.”

  He’s high and drunk.

  “Back the fuck up,” I tell him.

  Jax laughs and takes one more step. “Say one word about me or Tess. I dare you.”

  “Where are they taking Tess?” Winnie asks.

  “The hospital.”

  There’s more than one within a half hour from here. I didn’t expect him to give me any useful information though. Jax is a dick, and we’ll figure it out on our own. I don’t want to talk to anyone else, but I lead Winnie toward the officer I spoke with, and he tells me where to go.

  Then, he grabs a couple of cards from his breast pocket and gives us each one. “My name and number,” he says. “Call me anytime. And I’ll be in touch.”

  Winnie seems uneasy about that. She knows how dangerous it is for them to come around. She hates her life, the trailer, and the people inside of it, but take it all away, and her life won’t be much better. It’s a lose-lose situation.

  “He knows, Jasper. They’re going to take me.”

  “Nobody’s taking you anywhere.”

  She sniffles and says, “I need to go to the hospital.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, if I’m there, maybe it’ll look like I love her. They might let me stay if I pretend like everything’s okay.”

  “But it’s not, Winnie. You’re not okay.”

  “I will be. I’m better, Jasper. I swear.”

  Is she better because of him? Or is she better because she’s another day closer to turning eighteen?

  Going to the hospital is the last thing I want to do. I’m not even sure it’s the best idea, but if that’s where she wants to be, I’ll go with her.

  “I’ll see if I can borrow the car. If not, I’ll take Ace’s.”

  The ambulance doors slam shut, and Jax stands at the end of the driveway with his hands in his hair. He looks wrecked. I wish this were the wake-up call he and Tess needed, but nothing will change. The doctors will fix Tess up and send her home, and life will go on as usual.

  Twenty-Nine

  Winnie

  Jasper’s mom handed over the keys without question. She was rocking Lydia back to sleep, and I have a feeling the tone of her son’s voice told her all she needed to know, that it really was an emergency.

  I don’t know what I did to make Jasper fall for me. My life’s a mess. There’s nothing solid or remotely interesting about it. And I thought for sure Trey was the last straw for Jasper. One glimpse of that kiss, and I thought he’d given up on me. There was no way a friendship could survive after what he saw us doing.

  But Jasper’s still here, by my side, driving me to the hospital. Without him, I’d be on a bus, heading across town, all by myself.

  Guilt creeps up my spine when I glance at him. There’s so much I want to tell him, so much he needs to hear. Maybe then he’d understand where my heart was and why it belonged to Trey. I can’t tell him though. If I did, all he’d see was the age difference, and he’d tell me how wrong it was. I’d lose Jasper completely, and never speaking to him again scares me.

  Since I’ve known him, Jasper’s given me purpose. He makes smiling easier, laughing tolerable, and having fun undeniable. He’s all the wonderful qualities you wish you possessed but didn’t. When push comes to shove, he’s the guy I can count on.

  The truth would destroy all that. He’d try to hide it, but I’d see his disappointment, and then he’d tell me I was making a mistake by getting involved with someone twice my age. I’d argue. We’d fight. And then it’d all be over because there’d be no convincing me that Trey was wrong for me. He’s real. He makes me feel more human than life itself.

  When I was still in denial about loving him, there were days the fog was so thick, I would have to press my palm against my chest to make sure my heart was still beating. I don’t have to do that when he’s around. With one look at him, my pulse spikes, and the energy I was drained of returns. In a world where I’m constantly stripped of my dignity, tossed aside, and beaten down, he breathes the life back into me. Nothing about Trey is puppy love or infatuation. He’s the real thing, the kind of love I don’t have to settle into and one I’ll never grow out of.

  Jasper glances back at me, waiting for me to say something. I’m being weird, and I can’t help it. Sometimes, I get so stuck in my head, it’s impossible to get back out.

  “You okay, Winnie?”

  No.

  Changing the subject is easier, so that’s what I do. “How much do you think they know?”

  “The police?”

  I nod, but he can’t see me, so I say, “Yes.”

  “If Jax called 911, then Tess was in bad shape. Otherwise, he would have cleaned her up and handled it himself. He’s not stupid though. There’s no way he left anything lying around that could get either one of them in trouble, so I’m pretty sure you’re okay.”

  He has a point. If the cops had found the drugs, Jax would have been in the back of a cruiser, headed to jail, not standing on the porch.

  “I hope you’re right.”

  “You don’t think he’s the one who hurt her, do you, Winnie?”

  Jax has feelings for Tess. They fight and go at it, but when she’s not looking, I catch him watching her. Not in a creepy way either. He might stare holes through my head, but with Tess, he’s whipped. Why else would he stick around and put up with her mood swings and screaming matches?

  “I don’t think he hurt her,” I tell Jasper. “Before I went to The Whip to resign, things at home were normal. Well, as normal as they could be. They weren’t arguing or anything.”

  Tess and Jax were unusually quiet, so I figured they were getting high, and I left before they could start stirring up trouble. Tess only had about an hour left before work, and I wanted to get there and back before she showed up at The Whip. The last thing I needed was her humiliating me in front of a bunch of people. She knew all along that I wouldn’t last, and I didn’t want to prove her right.

  Jasper seems to accept my answer and parks in the emergency room lot. When we get inside, one of the cops from the scene is lingering by the registration desk. I’ve seen his face around the park enough times to remember it.

  My instinct is to run in the opposite direction, but Jasper nudges my elbow and says, “Stay cool.”

  I wish I could have let Tess handle things on her own. If I trusted her to make decent decisions, I wouldn’t be here. She’s the definition of dysfunctional, and I’d never leave my fate in her hands. Maybe we can’t control what she says, but I can make sure she’s not getting herself arrested and taking away both of our freedom.

  “I’m scared, Jasper.”

  His eyes soften, and the tension he was carrying in his shoulders disappears. When he says, “Relax, Winnie. You’re okay,” I believe him, and I try my best to listen.

  If I’m tense, I’ll look suspicious. As far as we know, Tess and Jax did nothing to break the law. Falling in the shower isn’t a crime, and neither is being a bitch. If I’m questioned, I’ll lie if I have to. Anything to keep Tess out of jail.

  We wait patiently for Tess’s room number, and then, without a single word, we’r
e escorted to the back corner of the ER. It’s not a special room for difficult patients strung out on drugs. It’s like all the others, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear her voice. She’s arguing with the nurse about her head, demanding more pain medication.

  Jasper shakes his head because she’s not doing herself any favors, and as long as that cop is in the waiting room, he can still haul her away once they’re finished treating her. If I don’t calm her down, this won’t end well. Tess is used to getting what she wants, and no isn’t in her vocabulary. But I’m the last person she wants to talk to, and seeing me could make her mood worse.

  I turn toward Jasper, thankful I don’t have to do this alone. “Will you stay close?”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Winnie.”

  My phone rings in my pocket, but I can’t answer it. I’m not even supposed to have it on in the hospital. It finally shuts up after four rings, but then it starts all over again. Trey’s the only one who has my number, and he’s probably freaking out.

  Jasper stares at my pocket, and I pull the phone out and look at it, willing it to shut up. He knows I have no idea what I’m doing, and he takes it from me. At first, I think he might answer, and I panic, but he pushes the button on the side, and then it’s quiet again.

  I don’t thank him. I just slide it back into my pocket and pull the curtain back. The nurse looks thankful to see me and excuses herself. I want to tell her I’m not family and that Tess won’t be any happier to see me than her, but instead, I inch toward her bed, praying I don’t get my head bitten off.

  Tess is messing with her IV, and the needle plunging into the back of her hand makes me nauseous. But, if it’s pumping something other than poison into her body, I’m glad she has it.

  Her eyes land on mine, and she smiles. It’s such an unusual response to my presence that I think she must have a terrible skull fracture or a concussion.

  “You’re seeing that little shit? I knew you were a slut.”

  I turn around, not expecting Jasper to be behind me. He places his hands on my shoulders and steadies me.