by C. L. Roman
He must’ve sensed the kettle about to whistle because he stepped back, leaving me desperate and wanting for more.
“Not yet, Abigail. I have to see this magnificent body of yours before we go any further.”
Forget the heat—shivers swept through me, my body tensing up. In a heartbeat, the delicious warmth pooling between my thighs disappeared.
“You’re showing way too much skin, Abigail. Men will look at your attire and throw bills at you. Besides, your body wasn’t made for skimpy clothing. Now go put some real clothes on this instant!”
“Take off your clothes, Abigail.”
My eyes darted left then right. “Now?”
His expression hardened, but not in a threatening manner. “Yes. Right now.”
“What…what about you?” Could I shrink into myself any more? My hands crossed over my chest and my feet touched one another, a totally closed-off stance.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m more interested in you at the moment.” He perused my body.
Saliva, please go down. I needed a drink, and fast. I dashed over to the table to take a sip of my wine. A second and third were required, too. I swallowed the liquid, hoping it would act fast and ease my discomfort.
Bummer. It didn’t work. Still, I proceeded. Being new to this strip-tease action, I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to look at him while lifting my shirt up and over my head. I took at peek and saw a man on the hunt. That stopped me in my tracks. Nope. I can’t do this.
“I’m waiting, Abigail.”
For real? How humiliating.
“We barely know each other, and you want me to remove my clothes while you’re fully dressed.” I gestured to his body. “Plus, the lights are on.” I pointed to the fluorescent lamp in case he didn’t know where the brightness was coming from.
Again, he gave me a visual inspection. “You’re breathtaking. Everything about you is magnificent.”
Me, breathtaking, magnificent? My face scrunched in confusion.
“You have your father’s shape. He always was on the fuller side. You might want to think about wearing baggier clothing to hide those large hips of yours.”
My mother pointed to my thighs. The evil bitch.
He strode over to the light switch and flicked off the lamp. “Better?”
I exhaled a sigh of relief. “Yes. Thank you.”
The light from the kitchen gave us plenty to work with and put my mind at ease.
“I’m a firm believer in the idea that self-consciousness has no place in the bedroom.”
“We’re not in the bedroom right now, though, are we?”
My damn nerves were speaking on my behalf.
“You have a smart mouth, Abigail. I like it. Sit on the couch. Will you?”
“O…kay.” Hesitantly I plopped down onto the middle sofa cushion. I stared at the carpet, uncertain of what to do with myself.
His loafers emerged in front of me. He raised my chin so I’d look at him. “Eyes on me. Your body is fantastic.”
“You haven’t even seen it yet.” I needed a muzzle to stop my blabbering.
“Some things you already know. This is one of them.”
Smooth talker.
He leaned forward and kissed me, a soft kiss that became scorching in a matter of seconds, dissolving the tension pooled in my muscles. As my posture softened into the cushion under me, my breath picked up speed.
He broke the kiss. “Arms up.”
My fisted hands remained firmly locked on my lap.
“You’re disappointing me, as well as depriving me.”
With my head lowered, my gaze shot to his. “I just feel…I don’t know…embarrassed?”
“What about?”
Hello? “Sitting here with you asking me to remove my clothes.”
“I will follow your lead. Like I said before, there’s no reason for self-consciousness in the bedroom, or in the living room.” He smiled. “I’m all about giving pleasure. You already know how beautiful I find you. Does this prove it?” He cupped the bulge in his slacks. Yay for me in that I had caused that reaction in him.
My lips curled up, twitching a bit.
He bent over, cradled my cheek, and kissed me hard. Warmth replaced the coldness that kept reemerging. My body begged for more, but my mind kept interfering.
He’ll be disappointed when he sees you naked.
“Your hips are nothing like mine or Irma’s.”
Gabe broke the kiss. “You’re putting your walls up again.”
“I’m sorry.” I retreated into myself, hands clasping, feet turning inward, one resting on top of the other.
“Don’t apologize. Turn your mind off, Abigail. Let me help you relax. It seems you could use a release about now.”
“If you only knew.” I sighed.
“Then close your eyes and let me give you one.”
Without a second thought, I did as he’d originally requested. I raised my hands but kept my eyes open, watching as he removed my top and unclasped my bra. I immediately slouched.
“Good girl.” He took me in. I wrapped my arms over my chest. “Uh-uh. Move your hands. You’re exactly what I pictured, gorgeous.”
He’s pictured me naked?
Desire flooded me. Still, good luck to him. Getting me out of my head was no easy feat. The darn thing was a force to be reckoned with.
He leaned me against the back cushion. “Now the jeans.”
Right, the jeans.
I didn’t budge. And here I thought I was making progress.
When he noticed my lack of movement, he took matters into his own hands and popped the snap on my denims open himself. The zipper came next. Down it went.
“At any point, say stop and I will. Understand?”
“Yes.” I could barely catch my breath for a multitude of reasons.
I can do this.
No. I don’t think I can.
He apparently thought I could because he tugged my jeans and underwear off, leaving my socks on. I couldn’t look at him to save my life.
“Abigail, I want your eyes on me.”
Abigail. Maybe using my full name was a dominance thing for him. Whatever. It worked for me.
Timidly, my gaze went to his. His eyes were hooded, lust filling them, his chest rising and falling at a steady pace, his erection still noticeable though it remained tucked away inside his pants. Such an intense, heady feeling—encouraging too.
There I sat, naked on the couch with him standing in front of me. Vulnerability, my friend—we meet again.
He kicked my feet farther apart, his eyes locked on mine, his tongue licking his lips.
Down he went onto his knees, between my spread legs. Me oh my. I knew where things were headed. I chewed on my thumb nail.
“Stay with me, Abigail. Let your mind and body indulge. Don’t let negative thoughts get in the way. As difficult as it is, let them go.”
Okay, maybe I can do this after all. I mean, I had touched myself in front of Foley on multiple occasions. Sure, they had all been horrific experiences, but this, right now with Gabriel, didn’t have to be. I could choose to block out Foley and every harsh and condescending word my mother had ever said to me and be in the moment with Gabe.
With closed eyes, I sank my head deeper into the back cushion of the couch. He widened the space between my legs even more. I, in turn, stiffened. It was almost instinctual.
“Relax for me.”
Sex was supposed to be like riding a bike, right? I certainly hoped so, because it had been a while for me.
His fingers drifted up my shins, over my knees, and to my thighs. It was good I had shaved and showered prior to his visit.
“Tell me, Abigail, will you stop me if I try this?” He kissed my inner thigh.
I paused before responding.
“No.” I breathed heavily.
“How about this?” He kissed my other thigh.
“Nope. It’sallgood.” In my yearning and anticipation for what was about to come�
��me included—the words shot out as one.
He smiled against my leg. “And this?” His tongue licked a path from my opening to my clit. Oh. My. God. I bucked my hips, wanting more…so much more.
More that didn’t come.
My eyes sprang open.
There he sat, sitting between my legs, his eyes on mine with expectantly. “You didn’t give me an answer.”
He was serious, too. This man was trying my patience.
“Yes, please.” I’d beg if I had to.
“I’m trusting you’ll give me a sign if anything gets uncomfortable for you.”
“Yup, sure will.”
He grinned at my impatience. “Good. Allow your body to lose itself to me. Know what it’s like to be pleasured with you being in control.”
“O-Okay.” What’s with the stuttering? I asked myself.
Little did he know, I had lost myself to him minutes ago, so allowing my body to lose itself to him was the easy part. It was my mind that kept getting in the way and trying to shut things down.
His tongue flattened between my folds, his fingers spreading them open to give his mouth full access. My head rolled to the side. Pressure rose rapidly, a feeling of lightness sweeping through me, my thoughts finally on vacation.
A thick finger entered me. My pelvic muscles clenched.
“Uh-uh. Let it go, Abigail.”
Breathing steadily, I melted into the couch and tried to get out of my head for the umpteenth time, going on a mental field trip instead, one where the only obligation I had was to myself, with a loving man cherishing me, entirely devoted to me for no other reason than because he wanted to be. Too bad it was all a stupid fantasy.
His finger probed me.
In.
Out.
His tongue glided to my clit. He gently sucked on it.
The man in my dream devoured me. It was interesting, because it was Gabriel doing the touching in the fantasy playing out in my head, too. Usually it was a nameless, faceless beauty. Tonight, the mystery man had a name—Gabe—and he was in fact a beauty.
“You taste so good, baby.”
His words of praise matched those of the Gabe character in my mind. Crazy, I know, but this guy had shown me more respect in a few days than any other had ever shown me in years of knowing them.
His hair tickled my thighs, his head buried between them. I spread my legs farther, pulling on his hair, fisting it, angling my pelvis upward. His fingers dug into my thighs, but not hard enough to leave a mark.
He switched things up, his tongue entering me while his finger applied steady pressure slightly above. Then he was back to the tongue action on my clit. That was the grand finale.
“Gabe!”
I was flying high above my body, looking down at an extraordinary man sitting on the carpet, kneeling in front of me, relishing in giving me pleasure, not asking for anything in return—at least he hadn’t yet. This seemed too good to be true. Maybe it was. In my limited experience, if things seemed to be as such, they usually were. I prayed it wasn’t in this case.
My body trembled and shook on the couch.
“That’s it, Abby, let it all go.”
His voice sounded somewhat off in the distance, as was I, my mind and body still trying to return to the here and now. When they did, my mouth fell open, my body limp and exhausted.
He kissed my thigh and closed my parted legs.
A rush of cold air blowing over me had me opening my eyes, signaling that Gabe was in motion. I followed his movement with my gaze as he went to the kitchen to clean up. The considerate man was rinsing his mouth.
He returned and sat next to me, the bulge in his slacks obvious.
“Come here.” He signaled for me to move closer to him. I scooted my body a few inches to the right. He wrapped his arm around me, and I laid my head on his shoulder. I skimmed my hand down the hard muscles of his chest, his ripped abs, straight to his erection, wanting to give him a turn, but he stopped my hand. I snapped it back, stunned, keeping my head buried against him, afraid to see and hear the reason why he was rejecting me. “Another night. Tonight is all about you. I want you to feel how it’s supposed to be, with you in charge, succumbing to your body’s needs because you want to, not because someone else is demanding it of you.”
Bless my lucky stars. This wasn’t a dream or a fantasy after all. Gabe was real, all six feet two inches of him.
I had no words to speak, so I didn’t. I simply closed my eyes. He brought our hands together and entwined them. We sat in the dim, quiet room. I fell fast asleep shortly afterward in the comfort that was Gabe.
Chapter Six
Gabriel
One thing I wanted Abigail to realize was that she had control in the bedroom. That dickwad of an old man went against everything I stood for when it came to respecting a woman in bed. I couldn’t argue that my attitude afterward didn’t portray a nice picture of me, but I sure as hell was generous when it came to the act itself.
Typically, I would’ve been up and out already. If I was being totally honest, with any other woman I would have hit the road soon after she screamed my name while I fucked her with my mouth, fingers, and/or cock—the method of with what unimportant. What was important, and noteworthy, was that Abby captivated me. Her situation fascinated me as well. If she had told me she and the old man had a physical relationship, I would have never touched her. I didn’t play that way. As it was, I might have already overstepped a boundary or two because I had no idea what arrangement she had made with him. I was going with her word.
Her content body rested on me, her head now on my lap. If only I could get her mind to ease up. The woman was tightly wound.
I studied her features, the small patch of freckles capturing my attention for the second time, her smooth porcelain complexion, her long silky hair, which I caressed. I didn’t want her to catch a chill, so I snagged the folded blanket from the edge of the couch, shook it open, and covered her, being mindful not to wake her in the process.
Realizing I wouldn’t be moving for however long, I propped my head on the cushion behind me and closed my eyes, falling asleep within minutes.
****
Abby’s head shifting on my lap woke me. My body felt heavy, desperate for more sleep. I blinked, my eyelids heavy, taking in my surroundings. Lightness peeked through the blinds in her living room.
She sat up, covering herself with the blanket, insecurity filling her delicate features. I would remedy that situation. I cupped her cheek and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. “Sleep well?”
Her body softened. “Yeah. You?”
“Like a baby, but not long enough. What time is it?”
She peered over at the small clock hanging on the wall that I hadn’t noticed before. “9:30.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize it was so late.” I stretched my arms wide.
“I hope I didn’t keep you from somewhere you need to be.”
“The only place I need to be right now is here. I’d ask to take you out for breakfast, but I know the answer I’ll get.” Her gaze shifted down toward her lap. “If you won’t let me buy you breakfast, how about I make you some since you outdid yourself with dinner last night?”
She caught sight of the dining room table which still had the salad, dressing, wine glasses, and her dish sitting on it. “My gosh, I never cleaned up.”
“I’ll help you. Then I’ll go next door to shower and make you breakfast.” My putting the offer out there was a definite win on her part. She had no clue how closed off I usually was when it came to women. Letting her in a little bit meant a lot.
She took my hand in hers. “Thank you, Gabe. I really mean it. If I were in your shoes, I’d probably be running in the opposite direction. So, the fact that you’re still sitting here means more than you know, especially when there’s so much I haven’t shared and can’t share with you yet.” That piece of shit word again—yet. “What I can tell you is I have a good reason for keeping the situation between me
and the old man private. I want you to know that what I’ve agreed to do with him—again, to reiterate, he’s never touched me in a sexual nature, nor will I allow him to—I’ve never done with anyone else. When I said I didn’t have other options, I meant it. Contrary to what it must look like based on how I behaved last night, I don’t give myself away easily. Whether you believe me or not is up to you, but it’s the truth.”
“Thank you for sharing that with me. I do wish you’d be more open-minded to the concept that there are always options.”
She shook her head, her body slouching. “Sadly, in this particular case, there aren’t.”
“I disagree, but I can’t force my beliefs on you.”
“Trust me, I’m doing the right thing.”
A difficult request. “I may not know the details or understand why you feel you’re stuck in whatever deal you have with this guy, but I’m having trouble believing it’s the right thing. Any time we sacrifice our values for someone else, it’s wrong.”
The doom and gloom on her face made me feel like crap.
“My values are the sole reason I consented to it in the first place.” She spoke firmly.
“You are one confusing woman, Abigail Winters.”
“Stick around and you’ll get some clarity, that I can assure you.”
While her defensiveness took a hike, my walls shot up. Sticking around meant relationship shit. I may have found Abby mesmerizing and beautiful beyond words, but relationships were a no-go.
“I don’t want to assume or put words in your mouth, but I want to make it clear that I also have a lot going on in my life. Simplicity is key for me right now, if you understand what I’m getting at.”
Her stiffened posture now matched mine. “I’m sorry. My words got ahead of me.”
“No problem. I just want to be honest with you from the get-go.”
Abby rose from the couch, wrapping the blanket around her and securing it over her chest. She attended to the dirty dishes on the table, not saying a word. Her sudden moodiness was the exact reason why I avoided relationships at all costs. One night with her and I was already getting the cold shoulder. Fuck that shit. Still, I helped her clean up, because it was the right thing to do. When I entered the kitchen with the salad bowl, she took it from me. “Thanks for helping, but I can take it from here. You can let yourself out.”