by Lauren Algeo
Georgie took a breath and steeled herself before she left her room. She hadn’t heard the door open last night although she might have been asleep. Nick would probably be lurking out there somewhere this morning. She’d heard them drinking until late last night, still toasting her birthday, and hoped he would be sleeping off a hangover instead.
She opened her door and stepped into the empty hallway. As she neared the stairs, Nick came sauntering out of her mum’s room and stood in front of her, blocking her way down.
‘Morning,’ he croaked in a rusty voice that hadn’t been used yet.
Georgie could smell the stale alcohol and sweat pouring off him. His bleary eyes ran down her body.
‘Where are you rushing off to?’ He edged closer to her.
Georgie’s mouth was too dry to respond. All of the earlier confidence she’d felt about growing up slipped away in an instant. She stood rooted to the spot with her heart pounding painfully in her chest. Nick was still drunk from the night before and he swayed in front of her.
‘You should wear your hair up more,’ he slurred as he brought his hand up to caress her cheek. ‘I can’t see your pretty face.’
Georgie backed away from him fast; her skin crawling from his touch. She didn’t know what to do. Her mum was downstairs; she could hear her banging around in the kitchen. Should she barge past Nick to get down there or retreat back to her room?
‘Georgie, do you want breakfast?’ her mum called from the kitchen.
To Georgie’s relief, it broke the awful stalemate and Nick staggered to the side. He stood there with a leering grin on his face.
‘Better run along like a good girl,’ he sneered.
Georgie made for the stairs gratefully. As she passed Nick, he reached out and gave her bum a hard squeeze. Georgie bolted down the stairs with a cry of shock. Her legs felt rubbery and she stumbled on the last two steps. Nick’s cruel laughter followed her down.
‘I’m late for school, mum,’ she shouted as she ran for the front door. ‘See you tonight.’
She fled from the house without waiting for a reply. She tried not to think about what had just happened as she walked down the road but all she could hear was his taunting laughter.
The long day at school passed in a blur. She avoided talking to anyone and kept her head down in class. At lunchtime she sat on her own at the side of the playing field and contemplated telling a teacher about Nick. Only what could she say? That the teenage girl who’d lost her father now hated her mum’s new boyfriend? They would think she was just attention seeking.
The only physical thing to report was the inappropriate grabbing of her bum that morning but who would believe her? Nick would deny it and her mum would stick by him; she’d think that Georgie was acting out in jealousy again.
She didn’t really like or trust any teachers enough to confide in them and she had no close friends. There were a couple of girls who spoke to her in maths but she’d never tell them about this. She didn’t want to give the bullies any more ammunition. It would be best if she kept quiet and made sure that it never happened again. She made a plan instead.
After school, she phoned her mum and said that she was going to a friend’s house for dinner.
‘That’s nice, dear,’ mum said cheerfully.
She didn’t bother to ask who this sudden friend was, where they lived, or when she would be home, as Georgie knew she wouldn’t. She was probably just tucking into her first drink of the afternoon.
Georgie took the bus to the local shopping centre and walked around for a couple of hours until the shops began to close at 5:30pm. She went to the food court near the cinema and got herself a cheap meal from McDonalds with the little money she had. She only managed a few bites of her cheeseburger before her hunger faded and the nervous anticipation about going home took over.
At 6:30pm she got the bus back to her neighbourhood and went to sit in the local park. It was summer so the evening would stay light for a while and it wasn’t too cold. Georgie sat at a picnic bench and did her homework to pass the time. When the light began to fade a couple of hours later, she couldn’t put it off any longer – she had to go home.
She concluded that by now they would be sitting in the front room and well into the night’s drinking. She could retreat straight to her room without having to join them.
Georgie walked home slowly, her heart sinking with each step. She shouted a greeting as she entered the house and got herself a glass of water from the kitchen.
‘Did you have a nice time, love?’ mum called from the front room.
‘Yep,’ Georgie replied.
She reluctantly poked her head around the door and was relieved to see Nick engrossed in a football game on TV.
‘I’ve got some homework to do then I’m having an early night,’ she lied.
‘Ok darling, see you in the morning.’ Mum’s words were heavy with alcohol.
Nick didn’t so much as look at her and Georgie breezed up the stairs, feeling triumphant. She went to the bathroom and got ready for bed then she closed herself into her room.
As a precaution, she wedged the chair from her dressing table under the door handle, in case Nick decided to stop in on her later. She put in her earphones and chose a pop album as she climbed into bed. She fell asleep almost immediately despite the upbeat singing in her ears.
Georgie awoke suddenly to a faint nudging sound from her bedroom door. She glanced at the clock on her table and saw that it was 12:17am. Nick was trying to get in.
She took out her now-silent earphones and lay still, trying to control her breathing. She heard Nick’s grunt of frustration as he tried harder to get in. The chair held firmly and several sharp pushes barely moved it an inch. Nick punched the wall in drunken anger and Georgie listened to him stomp down to her mum’s room and slam the door.
She exhaled loudly in relief. Her body was trembling but she had won. She could use the chair every night to keep him away. She closed her eyes and fell asleep with a contented smile on her face. She slept soundly for the first time in weeks.
Chapter 5 – 19th June 2007
The next morning was bright and sunny, and Georgie felt as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She got dressed and went down to the kitchen, feeling confident enough to have breakfast before school.
Her mum was at the kitchen counter, buttering toast with her back to Georgie. Thankfully Nick was nowhere to be seen.
‘Morning mum,’ Georgie said as she took a carton of orange juice from the fridge.
‘Morning,’ mum replied quietly.
She turned to put the plate of toast on the table and Georgie placed the juice beside it. She gasped loudly as her mum’s hair shifted to reveal an ugly purple bruise by her left eye. It spread down her cheek and the eye itself was swollen half closed.
‘Mum!’ Georgie grabbed her arm. ‘What happened?’
‘Nothing, I fell,’ mum mumbled. She shrugged off Georgie’s hand and hastily raked her hair forward to try and cover it. ‘Just a silly accident.’
Georgie knew better. Only a fist could make that sort of bruise.
‘But mum…’ she started.
‘Sit down and eat,’ mum cut her off sharply.
She picked up the carton of orange juice and poured Georgie a glass. Georgie sat down slowly, her mind racing at this new horror. It hadn’t been there last night so Nick must have done that to her mum. She nibbled unenthusiastically at a slice of toast. Why would he do that?
Her mum put the full glass of juice down in front of her and spilled a few drops as Nick sauntered into the kitchen. The toast wedged in Georgie’s throat.
‘Morning Lily… Georgie.’ He smiled brightly and kissed her mum on the right cheek.
He took a seat opposite Georgie and waited while her mum put the kettle on to make him a cup of tea. She could feel his eyes boring into her over the table and she kept her gaze fixed on her plate.
‘We’re out of milk,’ mum apologised timidly f
rom the fridge. ‘I’ll run and get some.’
‘Don’t be silly, Lil,’ Nick replied, getting up from the chair. ‘I’ll go and pick some up, and I can give Georgie a lift to school at the same time.’
Georgie couldn’t help but notice the relief in her mum’s eyes at his response. Her whole body seemed to sag as her tense shoulders relaxed.
‘Thanks love.’ Mum kissed him briefly on the lips. ‘See you tonight, Georgie.’
Georgie reluctantly followed Nick from the kitchen. She most definitely did not want a lift from him – that would mean ten minutes alone in a confined space.
As soon as they were by the front door, safely out of view of the kitchen, Nick grabbed her arm and squeezed it viciously.
‘Listen here, you little bitch,’ he snarled in her ear. ‘I don’t like being messed around.’
Georgie wanted to call to her mum but nothing would come out of her tight, dry throat.
‘Did you see your mum’s face?’ Nick taunted her. ‘That’s just a taste of what I’ll do to her if you block your door again tonight. Understand?’
Georgie nodded, terrified.
‘Do you understand?’ Nick twisted her arm and Georgie bit back a cry of pain.
‘Yes!’ she gasped. ‘Yes.’
‘Good girl.’ He let go of her arm abruptly and gave her a rough shove towards the door. ‘You can walk to school, the exercise will do you good.’
Georgie bolted through the front door and didn’t stop running until she was far away from the house. Her chest heaved with sobs and her heart felt as though it would burst. There was nothing she could do now.
When Georgie got home that evening, the chair was gone from her room. Nick was making sure his message had fully sunk in.
Her mum made cheery small talk at the dinner table while Georgie miserably pushed her food around her plate. Nick smiled menacingly across the table at her and kept topping up her mum’s wine glass.
‘Are you trying to get me drunk?’ Mum laughed throatily.
‘Of course not.’ Nick grinned at her. ‘You’ve had a hard day at work and you deserve to relax. Why don’t you take the rest of the bottle and watch your soaps while I clean up in here.’
‘You’re an angel,’ mum beamed at him then she winked at Georgie. ‘I picked a good one here.’
Georgie wanted to scream. How could her mum be so blind? This man had hit her last night – the bruise was clearly visible even though her mum had tried to cover it with a thick layer of make-up for work. He was making her daughter’s life a living hell but she was besotted with him.
Georgie trailed her mum to the front room without looking at Nick. She could feel his eyes creeping over her back as she left the kitchen.
Her mum drank her wine and commented on the soap characters but Georgie couldn’t focus on the TV. Her gaze kept flicking nervously to the clock above the fireplace, watching the minutes until bedtime ticking by.
When Nick came in with more wine a little while later, Georgie excused herself and retreated to her room. The empty space in front of her dressing table, where the chair should have been, taunted her. There was nothing else in the room that would work. Not that she could risk blocking him out again anyway – who knew what he was capable of doing to her mum?
Georgie knew that he had been plying her mum with extra drink so she would pass straight out later and not be easily woken. Georgie wasn’t stupid, she had learnt about sex in a class at school and seen some things in films, yet she was too young to fully comprehend the situation. She didn’t know for certain what Nick wanted but she knew that his behaviour was very seriously wrong.
Georgie hadn’t had any experience with boys yet. She’d never held hands or cuddled or even kissed a boy before. She really didn’t want Nick to kiss her.
For the first time in a long time, Georgie prayed. She’d used to pray that her dad had never been killed but that was impossible – maybe God could help with this one.
She sat on her bed with her hands clasped tightly in front of her. She prayed that Nick wouldn’t come into her room that night, that he would get drunk and pass out, or even that – sorry, God – he would drop down dead.
At 10pm Georgie crawled under her bedcovers and lay there rigidly, waiting. Some time later she heard her mum noisily getting ready for bed. The clattering from the bathroom gave an indication of how drunk she was. Her mum closed her bedroom door with a loud bang and it sounded like the end of the world to Georgie.
The house was silent for a while. Georgie lay still, listening for the sound of Nick coming up the stairs. He was quieter than she’d anticipated because suddenly her bedroom door handle slid down and the door creaked open.
Georgie squeezed her eyes closed. There was no God. She remained motionless, pretending to be asleep. The musky smell of Nick’s aftershave reached her nose and she was aware of him standing by her bed. He was breathing hard.
The bed sagged under his weight as he sat down on the edge. Georgie could hear her heart pounding in the stillness. The fear made her whole body ache and her bladder felt weak. Nick touched her arm lightly and she jumped uncontrollably, her breath catching in her throat.
‘Wakey wakey,’ Nick slurred, pulling the bedcovers back.
Georgie could smell the beer and wine on his breath as he leaned down towards her face. He pressed his mouth hard over hers, mashing her lips against her teeth. Georgie tried to shake her head in protest but Nick grabbed her neck and held her still. He forced his tongue into her mouth, pushing through her grimace. Georgie bit the intruding, slimy tongue as hard as she could and Nick pulled away fast, with a cry of pain.
‘You little bitch,’ he growled.
He wound his left hand further around her neck to grab a chunk of her hair and lifted her up from the bed. With his right hand, he slapped her hard across the face with a loud crack. Georgie’s head rocked back and she gasped at the stinging needles that spread across her cheek.
Nick threw her back on the bed and leant down hard on her chest. She felt the breath rush from her lungs, as she lay pinned underneath his crushing arm. Nick gave a snigger in the darkness that sent icicles of fear stabbing through the pit of her stomach.
‘I knew you’d be feisty,’ he whispered. ‘Didn’t your mother ever teach you that it’s not nice to tease?’
Georgie was panting rapidly, trying to catch her breath. The fight had been temporarily knocked out of her. It was hopeless – he was too strong.
Nick kissed her again. She could feel his rough stubble scratching at her chin. She kept her mouth firmly closed in disgust. Nick leant back and lifted his weight from her chest. Georgie took one sweet, deep breath before his left hand clamped over her mouth. With his free hand, Nick yanked up her pyjama top.
Georgie struggled underneath him, her cries of protest muffled by his suffocating hand. He was partially covering her nose and she felt herself getting lightheaded as it became harder and harder to breathe.
‘Quiet now,’ Nick murmured menacingly. ‘Or mummy is going to suffer tomorrow.’
Georgie stopped fighting. The shock was setting in and she felt removed from the situation as Nick’s eager hands groped at her developing breasts. She imagined herself somewhere far away from there as he tugged down her pyjama bottoms. Somewhere safe.
Nick moaned in her ear as he touched her between her legs, and wriggled out of his jeans and boxer shorts. With one last effort in battle, Georgie clenched her legs together tightly, anything to keep him out, but he overpowered her with ease. The searing pain as he forced himself inside her killed off the last of her energy. It was excruciating, unlike anything she’d ever felt. White-hot fire burned through her pelvis.
She sobbed quietly against his hand. Please stop, she begged desperately.
It seemed to last for an eternity. Each thrust sent a cruel ache through her body. Finally, Nick gave one last, loud grunt and collapsed on top of her. He removed his hand from her face and got up from the bed, pulling on his boxers and
jeans as he went. Georgie watched him in the gloom through glassy eyes.
He ran his hands through his greasy hair. ‘There,’ he panted for no reason.
He stepped back towards the bed and Georgie cowered away. ‘If you say anything to anyone, I will kill your mum and then I will kill you.’ His face was inches from hers and his sour breath tickled her cheek. ‘Slowly.’
Then he kissed her almost gently on the forehead and left the room.
Georgie lay motionless for hours with his semen and her blood trickling down the inside of her thighs, unable to believe what had just happened. Was that rape? Or was rape only if it was a stranger? Soft, heartbroken cries poured from her throat and tears of helplessness streamed down her cheeks.
Finally she plucked up enough courage to go to the bathroom to clean up. Her insides ached and it burned when she went for a wee – a sharp, stinging pain that made her bite her lip to stop the scream.
The dishevelled girl in the mirror stared solemnly back at her. There was an angry red mark across her mouth and cheek, and the skin there felt tender to touch. Sorrow filled her eyes; there was no help for her.
Chapter 6 – 10th August 2007
Georgie sat in the locked bathroom, trembling. There was a ticking time bomb clutched in her hands. It was Friday night and Nick was out with his friends while her mum was downstairs with her best one, Mr Smirnoff, so Georgie had been temporarily left in peace.
She stared at the plastic tube in her hands, there were only thirty seconds left. She glanced away, not wanting to see the result.
The rape had been carrying on for the last couple of months. Sometimes Nick wouldn’t come into her room for days, other times it was every night. The not knowing was even worse for Georgie. She lay awake every evening, listening for the sound of him at her door. Would he come that night? Would he leave her alone?
Even when she thought she heard him go to bed, her mind would still play tricks on her. She tortured herself by thinking that maybe he was just pretending and he would be along any minute to pay her a visit.