by Nicole Adamz
Shifting, I was begrudgingly grateful to Maewyn for my own clothes. Rationally, I knew Maewyn wasn’t entirely responsible for what had happened to me. She hadn’t made Heir Talon attack me. But she chose to go when I warned her against it. A darkness inside stretched languidly, chuckling at my pain.
“I brought some more things for you,” Maewyn said meekly.
Holding up a small bag, she placed it on the nightstand. Ignoring her, I was relieved when Willow headed over. My health check was a welcome distraction from the tension between us. After rubbing ointment on my scars, Willow checked my bandages while I glared in Aide Hazel’s direction. She had steadfastly refused to feed me anything other than broth and soft vegetables.
She knows I want something else to eat, I fumed silently. I was hoping if I glared at her long enough, she would cave to my silent demands. I’d already tried refusing to eat, but Aide Hazel had won that battle. At least I can feed myself now, I thought petulantly. Sort of.
Willow had removed the bandages on my left hand and feet, proclaiming them sufficiently healed. Even the wounds on my chest had faded, healing quickly under the twice daily ointment ministrations Willow provided. She’s a good Healer, I thought with reluctant pride, looking at other patients.
Plucking at the blanket with my free hand, I pretended not to be highly aware of Maewyn’s presence. Does she think everything will go back to normal after what happened? I slid a covert glance at her.
I want to believe Maewyn didn’t know what would happen, but she walked us through that door. She was okay with whatever she thought would happen. Bitterness roiled at the bottom of my heart, and I ground my teeth furiously.
“If you continue healing without a relapse of delirium you can be discharged in a few days,” Willow informed me.
Maewyn gasped, clapping her hands delightedly. Thank the True One! It will be nice to get out of here. I grinned at Willow, and her mouth curled into a smile before abruptly fading. My resentment towards her had softened. According to Aide Hazel, Willow is a talented Healer and is respected in the Sanatorium.
A noise at the entrance of the room caught my attention, and I watched a Prelate stride inside. His flapping navy robes settled when he reached us. Black and oily eyes, devoid of personality and warmth, measured me.
“My name is Prelate Sunny. It is the Temple’s duty to watch over the Talented,” the man said perfunctorily. “I was instructed by Aerial Prelate Ragnor to ascertain the condition of the Tyro before she returns to Ascension.”
Puzzled, I looked at Willow, but Maewyn leaned forward and explained, “Healer Willow reported our drunken escapade to the Temple. It was embarrassing to admit that Ari fell into a bonfire and we both got lost trying to find help.”
I looked at Maewyn dubiously. That’s a complete lie. Willow caught my gaze and subtly nodded her head behind Prelate Sunny’s wing. Slowly, I nodded my agreement.
“What an odd way to find yourself at a Ward Station,” Prelate Sunny pursed his lips, carefully watching me. “How are your hands?”
I help up my damaged hand, still bandaged, and shrugged. Prelate Sunny raised his brows and looked at Willow. “The damage is healing, and she will be released soon,” she said.
“Will she regain the use of it?” Prelate Sunny asked ominously.
My stomach clenched. I had pushed that demanding thought to the back of my mind over and over again. I didn’t want to consider not being able to use my hand after it healed. It’s healing. Slowly. It just needs more time.
Willow hesitated, “In my report I stated it’s unlikely Ari will play an instrument again.”
A sea of bitterness welled inside of me, an oily darkness. “There is no chance of a full recovery?” Prelate Sunny said, asking the question I couldn’t.
Willow glanced away in pity, “I don’t believe so, but it is possible.”
My left hand fisted in the blanket and I seethed silently, a pestilent rage building inside. I glared at Maewyn angrily, and she guiltily dropped her face. Skies blasted cowards! They weren’t going to tell me the truth!
With only one working hand I would be demoted as a Fractional Caelum, despite being Totality Claimed. Add having an unknown, unmanifested Talent on top and Ascension might make me leave the program. I would be lucky to stay.
Which meant my chances of saving Zora were dwindling by the minute. Sucking in a rasping breath, tears spilled down my cheeks. A cry of anguish lodged in the base of my throat. I whimpered, clutching the maimed hand gently to my chest.
If I can’t use my hand, what will happen to me? Worse, what will happen to Zora? If I can’t purchase her in a few months she might die. And if I can’t Ascend to Caelum, I won’t be able to protect her if she’s discovered as a True One believer.
The thought of praying to a goddess who seemed so far away angered me. Why was this happening to me? Willow and Maewyn had purposely kept this information from me. I stared into Prelate Sunny’s oily eyes, wishing everything to ash.
“Has there been any progress with your Talent?” he said flatly. I angrily shook my head. Nothing but those sky blasted nosebleeds. Prelate Sunny turned to Willow, “Aerial Prelate Ragnor would like to be apprised of her visits to the Sanatorium.”
Willow briefly inclined her head, “If it’s deemed necessary for Ari to have more than one follow-up exam, the Aerial Prelate will be informed.”
Prelate Sunny frowned, “Aerial Prelate Ragnor will be informed of all subsequent visits, Healer.”
Willow nodded without comment. Why does a follow- up matter? I thought balefully. I’m an inconsequential Tyro without a Talent. Prelate Sunny examined me one last time before departing. I glared at Maewyn and Willow. Who was going to tell me I can’t use my hand?
Maewyn shifted remorsefully but remained silent, deferring to Willow for an explanation. “You shouldn’t worry. It will be a long time before your hand is healed enough to perform normal tasks, but playing an instrument isn’t a requirement to Ascend to Caelum,” Willow said without apology.
It is if I want to be anything more than a Fractional Caelum! I wanted to scream. Willow’s callous demeanor toward the one thing that determined my life in Summit stung. Of all people, I would have thought she would understand. Willow had fought for her dream against high odds.
I stared at my hands sullenly. The cryptic markings taunted me, and I clenched them tightly, gasping at the pain but ignoring it. It felt good to feel something other than rage. Tears still swam down my cheeks, but I didn’t bother wiping them. Zora will die if I don’t help her, I clenched my eyes closed and rocked back and forth.
“You don’t have to entertain at Revues, Ari. There are plenty of respectable Fractional Caelum. Besides, you don’t know what your Talent is,” Maewyn said softly, compassion lining her voice.
Hatred wedged into my heart, and I turned away, waiting for them both to leave before the dam broke. Not caring if I died, I keened loudly over my broken dreams. Clenching my body against the pain, I cried harder. The unconnected, starry swirls on my free hand burned with amber light, drenching my bed with a warmth I couldn’t feel.
Chapter 32
Maewyn
ISAT IN A GARDEN TERRACE at Ascension, hiding among preternaturally blooming roses crusted in ice. There was another family meeting, and I had to report my progress. I burrowed into the fur lined cloak softly brushing me cheek.
Sitting in the floral alcove, I watched the roses bend against the cold wind’s fury. They were specifically created and designed, never allowed to grow naturally. A few, lone petals scattered in the wind. The only disobedience they’re allowed.
I need to absolve my Mate-Bond with Davin. I shuddered pleasurably at my last memory of him. Ari thinks she saved us, but such carnal pleasure was exhilarating. Every sense was heightened, and I felt completely out of control. I don’t regret it…only Ari’s part in it.
I missed the easy comradery between us. I’ve tried apologizing, but she won’t listen. I didn’t mean for anyt
hing to happen to her! I thought sullenly. She hasn’t forgiven me for what happened to her hand, and I can’t blame her.
My thoughts drifted back to my Mate-Bond with Davin and unease tightened my stomach. I haven’t had my menses in a few months. Fear stole my breath faster than the Rime wind. Pregnant. The thought numbed me.
I won’t be of use to the family. They’ll treat me like Castia; locking me in a room until the fledgling is born, and then…what? What will they do afterward? I tentatively placed a hand on my stomach. Ignoring the glaring evidence of pregnancy had become increasingly harder. Is it Greerson’s fledgling, or Davin’s? I choked.
A rose snapped, ceasing to struggle under the harsh onslaught of the wind. I stared at its blushing petals, picking it up before it blew away. The stem was stiff and smooth against my gloved hands. It should have had thorns, but these bushes weren’t allowed to have defenses. I considered tucking it into my collar but walked to the edge of the balcony and impulsively threw it over, watching it fall. Now it can be free.
There was no one to help me do the same. I was alone. Contemplating the information in Caelum Greerson’s tome, I stepped off the balcony. The flight didn’t take long, and I marched briskly through the doors. Calmly taking off my cloak, I laid it across the only vacant chair in the room. The one in the middle.
“Progress?” my mother snapped before I sat.
I subtly squared my shoulders for the battle to come. Lying about everything wouldn’t be easy. Father and mother think they’re impervious to deception. They never expect deceit from family because they have so many spies, but even their spies couldn’t witness what happened that night. If I can convince them to believe me it won’t matter if anyone else does.
“I successfully met Heir Talon, and we’ve been meeting secretly since,” I said with false bravado. My gut clenched at the silence following my words while my parents considered their reliability.
Father assessed my face, calmly stroking his metal weapon. I met his gaze, willing my words to be the truth he believed. They shouldn’t be able to determine the lie from the truth. We met during Annul, and they can’t prove I haven’t been meeting Heir Talon secretly.
Leaning back, I kept my face impassive. Mother’s eyes raked over me harshly, but my calm façade didn’t waiver. Her typical cold fury wasn’t on display, and I didn’t know if I should worry. I must protect myself, and I need to protect Ari. If they knew what happened…what she did…I stilled a shudder. I need to lie successfully
“We were told Heir Talon received medical treatment after Annul. What happened?” mother said. Her stare was suspicious, weighing her knowledge against my words.
She’s trying to catch me in a lie. “Annul is always a wild celebration. I guess after Talon and I…met,” I said delicately, and my father snorted, “he went to another party.” I thought about Ari’s injuries. “He must have been treated for a few burns. It’s not uncommon with all of the bonfires during Annul,” I finished with a shrug.
“Burns?” mother pressed, lounging in her chair.
“Yes. He doesn’t talk about it. Our meetings don’t involve words, if you know what I mean,” I said primly.
My mother smirked, “Better than you. So, you’ve mated with him?”
“Yes,” I said confidently. She doesn’t know who I’m referring to.
Mother frowned, “What about your Tyro?”
“What about her?”
“We received intel that she was burned as well. Are the two incidents related?” father asked with quiet menace.
My heart jumped. Mother and father have accessed the reports sent to the Temple. I should stick with the lie I told Healer Willow.
“No. We were drunk, she fell into a bonfire, and we got lost trying to find help,” I lied baldly.
“Another bonfire accident?” my mother said in a slow, disbelieving tone.
I nodded. What else can I say? That’s what Healer Willow reported to the Temple.
“Your previous Mate-Bond was broken?” father said, abruptly changing topics.
Genuine confusion ruffled my brow. My mother’s mouth tightened, and I tensed, carefully watching my father’s hands. “Yes, I took the tonic,” I said. The intensity of my father’s gaze unsettled me. I thought we’d settled this matter already.
My stomach flipped, and I refrained from pressing my hand against the tiny life that might be inside. My father’s mouth pursed while he considered me. Don’t fidget, I commanded myself. You aren’t lying.
“We received an…article, of sorts,” father said, examining the tip of the metal bar. “It took a while to verify through a reliable source, but an Anomaly saw a different man exit your room the morning after the Autumn Feyle. Memories can be faulty, but the statement gave credence to the article.”
Father lifted a small brown package, tossing it on my lap. His dark green eyes were coldly amused as he gestured for me to open it. Instinct warned me I didn’t want to know what was inside, so my fingers trembled when I opened it. A square white cloth flopped into my hand. Rust colored spots dotted the center and smeared the edges. My mouth dried.
A callous chuckle emanated from my father. “It seems Caelum Greerson took a souvenir.”
My vision dimmed ominously, and a preternatural silence buzzed around me. “No,” I whispered in horror.
“Oh yes,” Mother said nastily, “There’s no definite way of knowing it’s your blood, but our informant assured us a man fitting his description left your room. Stupid girl. You don’t even know who you’re creating Mate-Bonds with!”
My stomach lurched, a sour taste filling my mouth. This can’t be happening. Thoughts tumbled over one another, and I swallowed hard, pushing down the bile climbing my throat. If I threw up father would hit me. Deep, heavy breaths steadied me, and I stared hard at the patterned floor. Pearl’s gloating face floated through my scattered thoughts.
“Why are you telling me this?” I said, my voice a strained whisper.
“We wanted to know if you’d created a Mate-Bond with the Heir, but you aren’t wearing Rascette Cuffs. So, you aren’t meeting him as frequently as you would like us to think—if at all,” Mother hissed menacingly.
Rascette Cuffs! My heart squeezed in panic, and I looked at my bare wrists beneath the velvet sleeves of my gown. Father’s metal rod twirled, striking my thigh with excruciating efficiency. I cried out in agony.
“That’s for your stupidity,” he said calmly from his chair. Another strike whistled through the air. “That’s for lying.”
I whimpered, gulping back a wail. Showing any weakness would make it worse. It infuriated father. Aeolus save me. If father finds out I never mated with Heir Talon…he might kill me. Or worse.
Father stood slowly, and I flinched. He snatched the bloodied handkerchief off my lap. Two lean fingers held it disdainfully. Mother sniffed scornfully, but let father have the stage. I covertly watched the metal rod in his hand.
“It would seem your Mate-Bond was with Caelum Greerson. He’s made inquiries into the possibility of a Life-Bond again.” Father said.
Despite the burning pain in my leg, a slow coldness crept into my limbs. This can’t be happening, I thought. Not after everything I’ve been through. Not after Ascending to Caelum and fighting to get away from him. My parents watched me with calculating eyes. I bit the inside of my lip and straightened, waiting for the room to crawl into focus. I wouldn’t continue displaying my weaknesses in front of them. Taking a deep breath, I sat poker straight and clenched my hands to keep them from shaking. I calculated how many months my menses had been absent.
That means…the fledgling isn’t Davin’s…but his. Shallow puffs of air escaped my lips. The knowledge that I was carrying Greerson’s fledgling wedged a scream in my throat.
Mother’s mouth curled, “If you can get Heir Talon to Life-Bond with you, we’ll postpone our final decision regarding your usefulness.” My stomach clenched.
“And if I fail?” I said faintly.
“We will give you to Caelum Greerson,” father said casually.
I willed myself to remain seated. The room swam in and out, and I blinked to clear my vision. I can’t cry here, I thought feebly. Ice crept into my veins.
“How much time do I have to Life-Bond with Heir Talon?” I said stiffly.
“You have until the Accolade of Blooms,” my mother said in a succinct voice.
“Can I see Castia?”
Mother frowned sharply. “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Please?” I whispered, “She had a Mate-Bond with High Lord Bera. She might have some information I could use to benefit the family when dealing with Heir Talon.”
Mother looked at father and he nodded, waiving his hand to signal the end of the meeting. I didn’t wait until the room was empty before leaving. Terror pushed me up the stairs past my guarding cousins. I tested every handle, discovering Castia behind the last door on the left. It was locked, so I jiggled the knob, knocking softly.
“Castia?” I called gently.
There was a faint snick and the door cracked open. I gasped at the ragged violet eye staring at me, swallowing when the door slowly opened. Castia looked ghastly. She’s so large, I thought haltingly. Castia’s greasy hair was disheveled, and her plain nightgown was too tight. A lump formed in my throat. Her pink skin looked like it was going to burst, and she smelled. I grimaced.
When Castia closed the door, silence filled the room. The chamber was plush, but sparsely furnished. What does she do all day? She lumbered to a stool by the window, sitting listlessly and watching the clouds race against the grey sky. Do they let her outside? She looks so…defeated, I thought in pity.
I placed a tentative hand on her shoulder, “How are you?”
Red, swollen eyes rolled toward me. “They won’t let me keep it,” Castia said dully.