by Eric Ugland
Boris just shrugged, then said: “Not recall you either.”
“Boris here,” I said, “has agreed to talk to you, and, possibly, to take you to the ruins.”
“Oh fantastic,” Pomeroy said. “Quite likely the best news I have heard all day.”
This, naturally, made Boris smile.
Pomeroy turned back to his audience, though, and put up one hand. “It has been most lovely to meet all of you,” he said. “I fear I cannot remember a single one of your names, but I shan’t forget any one one of you wonderful kobolds. I promise to return, and speak again.”
The translator kobold gave me a quick smile, and then rattled off a recap of what Pomeroy had said. Something that was reasonably close to accurate. Reasonably.
I led Boris and Pomeroy up to the roof of the Heavy Purse, and we sat down on the benches up there. Well, Pomeroy didn’t sit down. He walked around the roof, peered over the edge, then walked over to the water tank and examined it. He tapped on its legs, and looked over some of the plants before finally sitting down across from me and next to Boris.
“Quite impressive, young elf,” he said. “I didn’t realize you had such luxuries here.”
“A roof deck?” I asked.
“Forgive me if I speak out of turn, but I believe that water tower is an elemental connection, is it not?”
“It was here when I bought the place,” I said. “Not sure what it is.”
“Ah, that might explain things. The maker’s mark on the leg is from Emmitt & West, and they only make elemental water towers.”
“I don’t know what an elemental water tower is.”
“Really?”
“He is from Denmark,” Boris said.
“Denmark?” Pomeroy asked, looking at me with a very confused expression.
“Yeah,” I replied. “It’s a small hamlet to the south.”
“I suppose they might not have such technological advances out there,” Pomeroy mused, looking off to the south. “An elemental water tower has a direct connection to the Elemental Plane of Water. Endless water of complete and utter purity.”
“Oh, that’s pretty cool,” I said.
“I would imagine so.”
“Makes sense why I have such a nice shower. Does it come heated though?”
“You have hot showers?”
“I do.”
“What was it you did down in this hamlet of Denmark? Are you some lost nobility?”
“No, I just, uh, lucked into this building. I didn’t realize, I mean, are hot showers a rarity?”
“Showers are a rarity. And most often they are cold. I would actually like to see this shower of yours, if you don’t mind.”
“That can probably be arranged,” I said, getting to my feet.
“Is this way,” Boris called out, already through the door and bounding down the steps.
“He’s been there before,” I said.
“Curiouser and curiouser.”
Pomeroy hurried off down the stairs and into my apartment.
It was, as usual, something of a mess. There was still only one bed because I had yet to mention to anyone that I needed a second mattress. And, because it was destined to happen this way, the clothes spread across the bed indicated that Shae had finished working at the Heavy Purse, and was currently in the shower. Now, because Boris, and kobolds in general, seemed to have little concept of things like personal space or nudity, he threw open the bathroom door and proudly marched inside. At which point it was quite clear the shower was occupied, but Boris proceeded to rip aside the curtain and reveal both the hot shower and the hot person in the middle of taking a shower. One Shae.
Shae shrieked, trying to cover herself.
Both Pomeroy and I looked away immediately. I mean, almost immediately. I might have stored away a memory or two for, uh, personal use.
“Sorry,” I shouted. “It was Boris—“
A half-second later, Shae called out: “I’m covered now.”
I turned, and opened my eyes. She had wrapped a towel around herself, and was busy putting a towel around her hair.
“Sorry about that,” I said again. “Pomeroy wanted to see the shower, and I guess Boris got a little excited.”
Boris, meanwhile, was still standing to the side of the shower arms spread out like he was a model on The Price Is Right.
“Is there a reason you are all in here?” Shae asked.
“Uh, Pomeroy wanted to see the shower,” I said again. “See how the water gets hot. I guess that’s not so common.”
“I did not intend for, uh,” Pomeroy started, “I had no idea you were using the shower at the moment. Otherwise, I didn’t, or, uh, I would not have asked to see the shower.”
“It’s fine,” Shae said with a sigh. “I was almost finished.”
She walked past the kobold, and gave him the stink-eye.
“Boris,” I said, “for future reference, it’s probably a good idea to not open the bathroom door if someone is in there. Unless it’s an emergency.”
“Was this an emergency?” Boris asked.
“No,” I said.
“Definitely not,” Shae added.
“Mind if I take a look at the shower now?” Pomeroy asked.
I just gestured that at the shower, and Pomeroy darted past me, almost looking like he had to use the toilet, he was so excited. I let him explore on his own, and instead, sat on the bed next to Shae.
“Seems like the meeting with the kobolds went well,” she said.
I nodded. “They love him.”
“They are eager to like everyone,” she replied, “but they’re also very afraid all the time. Very skittish. They still do not like going outside, and they don’t like meeting new people without someone they know present.”
“There’s something childlike about them,” I said.
“I think it’s more to do with them being victims for so long. They’ve been hunted. And sometimes I think we’re the first people here to show them even the smallest kindness.”
“That can’t be the case.”
“Anyone from Glaton seems to treat them like pests. Nuisances.”
“Wait a minute,” I said, “where are you from?”
She sighed. “Not Glaton,” she finally said. “And I don’t want this to be, I mean, you were honest about your past with me, but I would rather forget everything that happened before the night we met. Thew was little but pain and--“
I put my hand on her leg. “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “You can tell me when, and if, you want.”
A sad half-smile crept across her face. “Regardless of where it was, I had not encountered kobolds anywhere near my home. And they have been the kindest creatures to me in the city, yourself excluded.”
Pomeroy came out of the bathroom then, and I pulled my hand back from Shae’s leg.
“This is a most fascinating place,” he said. “Not only the elemental water tower on the roof, but this hot water system in here. It utilizes runes and passive magic charging to make the water hot as it flows through the valve. Brilliant work.”
“Is it,” I started, then stalled, “that same company?”
“Emmitt & West? Yes. I would imagine, if you look throughout your building, you would probably find many elements they have added or altered. They tend to do full conversions. But I did not know they’d done anything in Old Town. You’re more likely to find this sort of work in the Bright. Or Santilloton.”
“Huh,” I said. “Maybe there is.”
Pomeroy leaned against one of the workbenches, and crossed his arms.
“There is something interesting happening here,” he said. “And while my curiosity is nigh-on overwhelming, I will let you tell me in your own time, my dear elf. However, I am not here for looking at showers, am I?”
Slowly, his gaze shifted over to Boris, who was now in the shower, peering at the very spots the good professor had been studying.
The little kobold was clueless to our attention. He conti
nued to peer at the shower.
“Boris,” I said softly.
Boris looked around, trying to figure out who’d called him.
“We’re out here,” I said.
He nodded, stepped out of the bathroom and into the main apartment.
“Yes,” he said. “I am out here now as well.”
“The ruins,” I said.
“Yes.”
“Can you take Pomeroy there?”
Boris gave the somewhat pudgy professor a looking over.
“Don’t think so,” Boris said.
“Why not?” Pomeroy asked, affronted.
“Out of shape,” Boris announced. “Many stairs, ladders, climbing. Perhaps rope will be involved. He has no arms to climb rope.”
“I’ll have you know I am plenty strong,” Pomeroy countered.
“Can you climb a rope?” I asked.
“I certainly did it quite a bit as a youth,” he said. “I always fancied myself a bit of a swashbuckler, and played the lead role in more than one Academy staging of the Pirates of Mens Pants. I think I am more than capable of handling this.”
“Look,” I said, getting in between Boris, who had no idea why Pomeroy was getting upset, and Pomeroy, who had no idea his current level of fitness, “it’s no use going all the way down there tonight.”
“I cannot leave—“ Pomeroy began, but I held up a hand to silence him.
“I know you need to see the ruins. You need to know what’s there before you hinge your career on studying it. Which is why I was thinking that, perhaps, we take a quick trip just to see the ruins from a distance. Can we do that, Boris?”
“Not go in ruins?” Boris asked.
“No,” I replied. “I was thinking we’d go to that spot where we were when we rescued, uh, the babies.”
Boris thought for a second, then nodded. “It can be done,” then he paused, and looked over at Pomeroy, “maybe.”
Pomeroy frowned at that. “I would appreciate an attempt.”
Boris smiled his kobold smile, which happened to display a rather prodigious amount of teeth, and nodded happily.
“We will go,” he said, and started proudly marching from the room.
“Wait, is he, are we going now?”
“No time like the present,” I said, getting to my feet.
“I’m going too,” Shae said, quickly moving towards the wardrobe. She tossed her towel to the side and pulled on what I would consider more adventuring type clothing. I promise I didn’t watch that long.
Instead, I hurried after Boris, trying to keep up with the little kobold, who was amazingly fast up and down stairs, far faster than you’d expect something of his size to move. I suppose it had something to do with their build, maybe something about having spent most of their evolutionary lives underground. I stopped in mid-stride on the stairs, nearly falling in the process. Was it possible this world didn’t abide by evolution?
That was a heavy question, and it weighed on me. I shook my head. This wasn’t the time. If we were going to the ruins, I needed to keep a clear head. The theory of evolution could be explored at a later date, at a point when we weren’t going to be sneaking around cannibal creatures deep underground.
I managed to grab Boris before he went into the bakery.
“You know of a way where we don’t have to go through our bolt hole?” I asked.
Boris thought about it, staring up into the cloudy night sky, then he nodded.
“Yes,” he replied. “Maybe. I think yes.”
Pomeroy was stepping out of the apartment building, with Shae following close behind. She’d added on tight leather armor to her outfit, plus a sword on her hip. Something I hadn’t seen her with before.
“So,” Pomeroy said, clapping his hands together, “who is ready for an adventure?”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
It may come as no surprise that the one person not at all ready for adventure was one Dunt Pomeroy. When he found out we were heading into the sewers, he was not amused. Or, really, willing to go along with it. At least until I pointed out not going meant the adventure was done. He relented, and actually made his way down the ladder into the sewers, still wearing his soft shoes and thick robe. Once down in the tunnels, he held his robe up a little to keep it from rubbing in the sludge.
Boris led, moving very quickly, fast enough that I had to tell him to hold back and wait at the various cross-points so he wouldn’t leave us behind. I couldn’t tell if he was nervous or excited. Or both.
The sewage flowed by with more force than I’d ever seen. And the smell was still as horrific. I knew I’d mostly get used to it, but the first few minutes were just horrible. My eyes watered, and I tried to take shallow breaths.
Boris waved us to the wall, held his finger to his mouth, and tried to shrink into the shadows.
“Wha—“ Pomeroy started to ask, but I wrapped my arm around his head, covering his mouth with my hand. I yanked him hard against me, and knelt to the ground.
Something big was swimming through the sewage. Something big enough that as it swam, its fin broached the filth, and sent waves of poop-water up and over the walkway.
The creature sloshed by, followed by its poop wake.
We waited there in silence, all eyes focused on Boris, waiting for him to give us the all clear. A moment passed. Boris took a very slight step toward the sewage and looked up and down the ‘water.’ It had settled back to the gentle flow.
Boris nodded. Time to get going again.
“What was that?” Pomeroy whispered to me.
“Something you don’t want to see up close,” I whispered back.
“But—“
I put my hand over his mouth again.
“Be quiet or it’ll come back,” I hissed.
He nodded, eyes wide.
We continued moving through the sewers, slow and steady. Boris seemed to have calmed down after seeing our first monster of the night. Gone was the nervous energy he had before. But he was also moving more deliberately. At each intersection, he paused to check the tunnels and sniff the air, before proceeding on. It was the sort of confidence I’d grown to expect when we were traversing the darkened realms underground, the natural home to the kobolds. At least as far as I knew.
Time seemed to move differently in the sewers. Maybe it was just the sewer gases messing with our consciousnesses, or maybe it was just being in the dark. Which made me pause.
“Can you see anything?” I asked Pomeroy.
“Oh, yes,” he said quickly, “I was blessed with several types of vision by—“
“Tell me later,” I interrupted.
“Right, yes, better to be quiet—“
I closed his mouth for him, holding it a little tighter than necessary. He nodded. I nodded, released his mouth, and he opened it, ready to say something and I lifted my hand as if I was going to grab his mouth again.
He held up a finger, and put it to his lips.
I nodded and smiled, and we continued on.
There were a few other close calls where we needed to pause and and hide as something bigger and badder went about its business in the sewers. But nothing came as close as that first time. Finally, we got to a poorly-made door, ever the sign of kobolds at work.
Boris had something that looked like a key, which he jammed into a hole I hadn’t seen, and he got the door open. He held it for the three of us to go through, then followed behind, locking the door as we went.
It was like we had entered a different realm. Within a few feet, the stench abated. A few more feet, and cold air blew against our faces, stinging after the fetid humidity of the sewage.
“Rest,” Boris said. “Safe here. Maybe.”
Pomeroy sighed as he leaned against the wall. “Dear me,” he said, “I suppose it is possible I am a little more out of shape than I anticipated. Not sure I could climb a rope any longer.”
“Told you,” Boris said.
“Not the time for that, Boris,” Shae said.
&n
bsp; Boris seemed chagrined enough that Shae didn’t say anything else. I took a few strides down the tunnel, doing my best to see if I recognized anything, if this was the same way we’d gone that last time we’d come through. But it just looked like a very basic tunnel, something that had been hacked out of the rock by creatures more interested in a functional route than in something aesthetically pleasing.
“Done,” Boris said, and promptly started marching through the tunnel.
Pomeroy looked at me. I walked back over to him and helped him up.
“Can you do this?” I asked.
“I have to,” he said with just the hint of a sad smile. “Besides, I’ve come this far. How much farther could it be?”
A lot, evidently.
The tunnels were mostly straight, with more than a few offshoots. Boris moved with a confidence bordering on swagger, walking proudly and quickly along, even willing to chatter amiably with Shae. Which, after listening for a minute or so, seemed to be almost exclusively focused on kobold gossip. There was a lot of kobold gossip. I was amazed that Shae could follow it so well, considering the sheer volume of names being bandied about, and all the scandals that were ongoing within the small but burgeoning community.
Quite some time later, we came to another door. Something heavier and significantly more robust. I had to help Boris get the thing open, and, when we did, all of his joviality disappeared. He was once again serious, maybe even a bit nervous.
“We be quiet again,” Boris said as Pomeroy and I walked past.
I nodded, and gave a look to the good professor. Pomeroy nodded to me, and, for once, didn’t seem like he needed to say anything.
Interestingly, Boris did not shut the door behind us. We went down another hallway, and we got to a hole in the spot where the floor met the wall. I went first, hopping down quietly then doing a quick look around. It seemed a bit like a city square. A small one, to be sure, but there were a few doorways leading away from it, as well as what I took to be a walkway about four or five yards wide. The bricks were large and well-masoned.
“Clear,” I whispered.
Boris hopped down next, landing on me. He used my body as a way to climb down to ground level. Shae helped lower Pomeroy down, and I caught the older man. Last came Shae, landing light on her feet, one hand on her sword to keep it from making any noise.