War of the Posers

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War of the Posers Page 19

by Eric Ugland


  “Oh nonsense,” Mrs. The Fayden said from her chair. “Essie had already been Empress for some time before you came along to be her court magician.”

  “This place would never have survived without me, and I would kindly ask you to butt out, dear wife of mine, or else--“

  “Only trying to keep you honest.”

  “Pah, let me speak with my prospective apprentice for a moment before you interrupt us again!”

  “He passed your test, he seems of good character, Snickers likes him. He IS your apprentice.”

  “You realize he still needs to agree to this, yes? Also, Snickers is a terrible judge of character — he likes everyone.”

  “Makes up for you being such a curmudgeon.”

  “I am a very affable man, right potential apprentice?”

  “Dot no get in the habit of lying for him,” Mrs. The Fayden warned me. “Otherwise he will expect it from you from here on out.”

  “I don’t exactly know you well enough to make a call about that,” I said.

  “Diplomatic,” The Fayden replied. “Back to my question. Do you actually want to be a magician, or do you just wish to learn a bit of magic? Or, considering what spells you have, do you wish to learn how to control what you have already gained? Or, I suppose, would you prefer just getting rid of all the magic you have accumulated and return to being a normal, mundane elf?”

  “Uh, I think, um, can you repeat those options?”

  He gave me a look, raising one bushy eyebrow.

  “I want to study magic,” I said. “I want to be a magician. Or a, whatever. I don’t really care what you call me, but yes. I want to learn magic.”

  “You are willing to become my apprentice?”

  “I am, but I do have a few other things going on. I mean, I can’t really live here with you.”

  “That was probably not going to be part of the deal,” he said, but I noticed him looking over at his wife for confirmation.

  She shook her head, then shrugged. “He could if he wants. We have the space.”

  “I have a place to live,” I said. “And I run a guild kind of thing.”

  “What is a guild kind of thing?” he asked.

  I explained the Skull and Thrones, how we were an organization focused on working in the background of things with the desire to change the world for the better.

  “Who decides this ‘better?’” The Fayden asked.

  “We do. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. And, you know, we might get it wrong, but I’d rather be wrong and trying than right and doing nothing.”

  “I like him,” Mrs. The Fayden said, using magic to lift and pour cups of fragrant smelling tea.

  “He might be growing on me,” The Fayden said. “Learning magic is usually a full-time endeavor. It requires perpetual work, day in, day out. You must practice the art of magic constantly, lest you lose it. There are very few races who are natural users and workers of the arcane arts, and elves are not among them.”

  “What are?” I asked.

  “I like the curiosity, but the interrupting? Not so much. Dragons are the first to come to mind. If a dragon sits around and does no magic for a hundred years, it will still have the same power at its finger — er, claw-tips — as if it had been practicing every day.”

  “He has a minor obsession with dragons,” Mrs. The Fayden said.

  “I do not.”

  “You have mentioned them multiple times already this conversation, my dear.”

  “Pah. Pay her no mind. At least about that. If you become my apprentice, likely you will become hers as well.”

  Mrs. The Fayden smiled at me. “I am usually the nice one.”

  “What? I am much nicer. I am the greatest wizard of my age, and I am agreeing to be this level-nine, what,” he looked at me, and I felt a tingle, “Rogue? You are a rogue? How did I miss that? You want to be—“

  “I thought I wanted to be a rogue, but it’s not something I feel is wise anymore. Magic is more powerful and more useful, and so that might be more where I want to put my efforts.”

  “You have said yes to being my apprentice, but I feel there is one more thing that needs to be addressed.”

  “I’m an open book.”

  “You are from another world?” he asked.

  I took a deep breath, a very basic stall tactic, trying to decide if the truth was the right angle of attack here. And it was, I knew it was, but being honest about Earth was always difficult.

  “Yes.”

  “Earth.”

  “Yeah, how—“

  “Told you,” The Fayden said to his wife.

  She frowned and flipped him a silver coin.

  “How did you know?” I asked. “And how do you know about—“

  “Never ask a wizard to reveal his secrets,” The Fayden said. “At least not the first day you meet him. Quite rude, really.”

  “But you know of Earth?”

  “I know of many worlds.”

  “How many are there?”

  “More than I could even imagine, I fear. Now, do you agree?” He leaned in to whisper at me. “This is the formal part, so answer true.”

  “I do,” I said.

  I expected something to happen. Anything. But it was just stillness in the hall.

  The Fayden clapped his hands. “Excellent! Welcome to the family. Now, get out of here; it is getting late.”

  I half stood, then paused. “Is there, I mean, do I have to go back through the well?”

  “What? No. Ridiculous. I am an all-powerful sorcerer. Or wizard. Whatever, I do magic but I am not ridiculous. There is a door over there. Take the stairs up, and leave through the front door. When it is time to come back to learn, which should be daily, by the by, you come back through that door. Simple. The well is just for — well, it was for testing. And I suppose that is over for the moment.”

  “Good,” Mrs. The Fayden said. “I hated those pillows just laying about.”

  Snickers harrumphed at Mrs. The Fayden, blowing some frosting out of his mouth. It was a good note to end on.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  It was not a short walk up the stairs. The The Faydens lived very, very deep underground. I wondered if they knew about the ruins. Was that something they would even care about? The door dumped me out into Old Town, only about six blocks from home. The night had gotten significantly colder, with a wicked wind blowing down off the mountains from the north. The rain had stopped, but it was definitely coming again in the near future. I made a mental note to find a warmer cloak.

  I felt like I’d already blown a lot of the night, so I took a carriage up to the nicest part of the city, got dropped off a few blocks away from Valamir’s palatial estate, and only did the last bit on foot.

  From the outside, it looked like nothing had changed since my last visit. Part of me hoped that was the case, because the first two times I’d broken into the home of arguably the most powerful man in the Empire, it had been shockingly easy.

  I watched the front guards stamp their feet and rub their arms in the cold. they hadn’t made the shift to full winter gear yet. Which was lucky for me, since they weren’t as observant, paying too much attention to themselves. I walked around the outside walls, and took in the interior workings. Which were nil. No guards walked the grounds. Which was a dead giveaway that something else was up. That was just too ridiculous.

  I kept walking, doing a quick loop around another block only to come back and post up against a wall kitty corner to the Valamir estate.

  I wanted to test a theory.

  I pulled some of my mana together, and sent it running around my body, flushing out my channels and making sure everything was fresh and clean, arcanely speaking. Then, I tossed a small illusion into Valamir’s estate, of a figure slipping through the fence and running across the grounds.

  My illusory figure made it about fifty feet through the lush grass of the grounds before guards swarmed out of their hidey spots, converging and very quickly
discovering that there was nothing there.

  Shouts sounded, and there men and women headed through the gates in search of the person who’d been casting magic in the direction of Lord Valamir.

  I turned and walked about twenty feet away from the corner before jumping up and grabbing the top of a wall, pulling myself up and over just as the thundering footsteps of approaching guards filled the streets. I took just enough of a glance around to know that I was tucked into the shadows at the far end of some rich family’s garden. Guards ran past on the other side of the wall. The house behind me remained quiet, and, from the sound of it, the guards outside seemed to be doing at least a moderate job of keeping things hushed.

  There were apples in the trees around me, and I was very tempted to grab one. My stomach rumbled, but I’d read enough fairy tales to know you never take fruit from someone’s garden.

  I wasn’t sure how long I waited in the yard. I just relaxed there, letting the night move along just like the guards moved along. I heard them talking, but I couldn’t make out any specifics. As soon as it was quiet again, I hopped back up on the wall and peeked over the edge.

  No one around.

  I dropped down onto the street, and calmly walked toward Valamir’s estate once again. The guards were still getting back to their places; they had yet to reset. I had a decent look, and, for the most part, I thought it was pretty smart. It wouldn’t stop me, because I didn’t need to be in this world, but, you know, it might stop a normal person.

  I cast Shadow Step, slipped through the iron bars, and sprinted for the house, sliding to a stop under a window.

  No guards came out, though I did hear the one in the bush nearest me cough. The window right above me was unlocked. I hesitated. Was it possible this was another trap? Or, rather, was this just the result of lazy staff? I wanted to look in the window, but I couldn’t actually get up and peek in. That’d be rather obvious.

  What I needed was a mirror, a little dental mirror. I used one back on Earth all the time — super useful for things like peeking around corners, over ledges, and even under doors. Mirrors weren’t exactly common in Glaton, something I didn’t understand because it’s not like glass was that rare. I’d even seen at least one type of pit beast who put out some sort of effluence that could actually be used to make glass. Was it possible the act of making mirrors was unknown? Had the technique been lost? Or was there some other reason I didn’t know? Most likely the latter. If there was one thing I’d learned about Glaton, it’s that I needed to know more about Glaton. But while I didn’t have a mirror, I had magic.

  I cast Minor Illusion to make a tiny floating mirror, angled so I could see into the room.

  It worked. I saw a sitting area, and someone in a long dark dress dusting a mantle. A small cart near one of the doors was filled with cleaning equipment. The room was large, mostly open. There were long couches in the center, around a low wooden table. The room had two fireplaces, one on each of the interior walls. Two large sitting chairs were placed in front of the fireplace on the left. It seemed like an enormous amount of work for a set-up. More likely the maid had just forgotten to lock the window, as opposed to placing a fake maid in the room and leaving one window open just in case that was the first window a potential intruder found. I had just gotten a little lucky.

  Still using my little illusion mirror, I watched the maid finish cleaning, put her things in the cart, and push said cart out of the room. She shut the door behind her.

  I popped up and slowly pushed the window open just enough to slip through, and then I basically rolled over into the sitting room.

  Time to get to work.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  The house was quiet. Very quiet, though I could hear footsteps here and there.

  I slipped along the outside wall, wishing the forgetful maid had thought to turn the lights off. If that was even possible. Magic lights were still a bit of a mystery.

  Dropping to the floor, I crawled along behind the couch, and put my ear against the doors.

  Quiet outside.

  I conjured up another mirror, and used it to look under the door.

  I saw the main entrance to the manor house, with a large staircase leading up.

  While I watched, two guards walked out of a door I was pretty sure was a closet, and marched up the stairs.

  I waited for a moment, and then nudged the doors open ever so much.

  Nothing moved, but I could hear the soft footsteps of the two guards upstairs.

  I made my move, walking quickly and calmly, like I was supposed to be there, until I got over to the door the two guards came out of. It wasn’t a closet so much as a little guard break room. Which meant there were spare uniforms along one side.

  “Score,” I said quietly, and pulled a uniform on. It was a simple tabard with the Glaton house crest on it in the Imperial colors.

  I kept my hood pulled up high, covering my face, went back into the main room and climbed to the second floor. I remembered the layout of the place, but I followed the path I’d heard the guards take even though it would have been shorter to go the other way to get to Valamir’s office. The guards were still walking their rounds, I could hear them talking quietly. Again, I couldn’t make out any specific words, but it had the cadence of general chatter. Two guys talking about their day, shooting the shit, whatever you wanted to call it. There was a real relaxation to the way they were behaving.

  Right in front of Valamir’s office, I pulled my hood down a little, to make sure Valamir wasn’t going to see my face. He hadn’t recognized me when I met him at the Imperial Estate, but he’d seen my whole face there. It’d make more sense to wear a mask of some kind. I pulled a bandanna from my bag, little more than a large square piece of cloth, and I tied that around my face.

  A quick test of the door confirmed my suspicion that it was locked, so I used a pick to make it open.

  Carefully, doing my best to be quiet, I opened the door and peeked inside.

  Valamir was at his desk, bent over a stack of papers, scribbling something in his book.

  I edged into the room and closed the door behind me. A quick bit of sneaking, and I sat down across the desk.

  Valamir looked up with a start, his quill spraying ink across the desk.

  “Evening,” I said.

  Valamir shook his head, and gripped the arm of his chair. “Nearly gave me a heart attack, thief,” he said.

  “Apologies,” I replied.

  He shook his head, and reached out for a cup on his desk.

  “Coffee?” he asked.

  “At this hour?”

  “Aren’t you a night owl?”

  “I have enough trouble sleeping as it is.”

  “Insomnia? Torn up inside by the guilt of stealing other people’s beloved possessions?”

  “I think it’s rare I take anything that is beloved.”

  “You must not be a very good thief.”

  “I’m starting to think it’s not my greatest skillset.”

  “Oh? You are going to find a new way to make a way through life?”

  “I hear the job of—“ I was about to say Emperor, but I quickly remembered his brother, the Emperor, had just died, and thought that might be a little gauche, “your guard might be open.”

  “It is disappointing you managed to make it into my office yet again, with no apparent issue.”

  “Minor issue,” I said, holding a hand up, “I did have to wait in one of your neighbor’s yards at one point.”

  “You’ll have to forgive me. Though I asked the captain of my guard to take more care, I didn’t actually implement anything in particular.”

  “It’s not super effective.”

  “Well that is disappointing. Is there a reason for your visit, or are you just paying a social call?”

  “Bit of column A, bit of column B.”

  “Should I feel honored you have decided to grace me with your presence?”

  “No offense, Your Highness, but I’m
looking around, and it’s kind of apparent you’re short on friends.”

  “You think you’re a friend of mine?”

  “I think I’m one of the few who’s friendly with you.”

  He sipped his coffee in a flagrant display of passive aggression.

  “Perhaps I have no need of friends.”

  “We both know that’s a lie. Everyone needs friends. It’s part of the Human condition.”

  “And elves?”

  “Basically the same in that regard.”

  “I am the prince of the Empire! I have more friends than you could imagine.”

  “One, I got a good imagination. Two, you’re a shit liar.”

  “You frustrate me, thief.”

  “I mean, I do that to myself as well. I could call it a curse, but it’s just a bit the nature of who I am. Still figuring myself, and the world out.”

  “You are a young one.”

  “Younger to this world than you can imagine.”

  “Now that is an odd statement.”

  I shook my head, because that wasn’t the sort of thing I’d normally offer up unbidden.

  “What kind of magic devices you got around here?” I asked.

  “Plenty,” he replied with a slight smile. “I noticed a ring went missing the last time you visited—“

  I pulled his ring out of my bag, and tossed it on the desk. “Found that—“ I started, trying to say ‘outside,’ but the word got caught in my throat. There was definitely a form of truth spell going on.

  Closing my eyes, I sent mana charging around my body, and imagined building a mana shield around my head, making it so no other magic was able to enter.

  “You mind shutting the truth spell or whatever down?” I asked.

  His eyebrows went up a little and he nodded at me.

  “Good catch,” he said. “Most aren’t as aware. They don’t notice it. But I think it might behoove the two of us to keep it running here.”

  “Any chance it works on you as well?”

  “No.”

  “Well, you are the prince. And, I guess, it is your house.”

  “Both true. Now how about you tell me about your origins.”

 

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