War of the Posers

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War of the Posers Page 33

by Eric Ugland

Height: 6’2”

  Weight: 195 lbs

  Eye Color: Green

  Hair Color: Blonde

  Renown: Unknown

  Statistics

  HP: 170

  STAM: 539

  MP: 1138

  Armor: None

  Active Effects: None

  Attributes

  Strength: 21

  Agility: 31

  Dexterity: 42

  Constitution: 33

  Wisdom: 9

  Intelligence: 48

  Charisma: 19

  Luck: 29

  Skills

  Lockpicking (LVL 15)

  Silent Movement (LVL 25)

  Eavesdropping (LVL 18)

  Pickpocketing (LVL 24)

  Stealth (LVL 95)

  Parkour (LVL 15)

  Meditation (LVL 1)

  Archery (LVL 8)

  Dodge (LVL 21)

  Hauling (LVL 1)

  Butcher (Invertebrates) (LVL 18)

  Butcher (Exotic) (LVL 18)

  Harvesting (Animal) (LVL 18)

  Brain Stomping (LVL 1)

  Animal Handling (LVL 3)

  Fashion Master (LVL 1)

  Lying to Yourself (LVL 1)

  Monster Handling (LVL 1)

  Swords (LVL 36)

  Shields (LVL 35)

  Heavy Armor (LVL 20)

  Formation Fighting (LVL 13)

  Traps (LVL 39)

  Silent Landing (LVL 3)

  Walking (LVL 3)

  Baking (LVL 38)

  Not Quite Golf (LVL 1)

  Skull Crushing (LVL 1)

  Mace (LVL 8)

  Humanoid Anatomy (LVL 95)

  Necromancy (LVL 55)

  Religion (LVL 10)

  Economics (LVL 5)

  Backstab (LVL 24)

  Climbing (LVL 12)

  Swimming (LVL 1)

  Abilities

  One of These Things is Enough Like the Other

  Undead Control

  Undead Mastery

  Disease Immunity (Undead)

  Darkness

  Creeping Shadows

  Shield Personal Information

  Feats

  None

  Boons

  None

  Indicium

  Skull and Thrones Guild Leader

  Imperial Mark of Honor

  Shadow Ministry Badge

  Titles

  None

  Relationships

  None

  Languages

  Imperial Common

  Plains Tauren

  Mahrduhmese

  Sea Elven

  Ancient Elven

  Archaic Dwarven

  Modern Dwarven

  Infernal

  Celestial

  Common Orc

  Mountain Orc

  Narbendian

  Gnomish

  Primordial Terran

  Pirate Pidgin

  Carnish

  Common Kobold

  Ancient Kobold

  Ancient Draconic

  Spells

  Lifeform Identification (Lvl 1)

  Basic Object Identification (Lvl 1)

  Minor Illusion (Lvl 1)

  Summon Familiar (Lvl 1)

  Shadow Step (Lvl 1)

  Minor Heal Self (Lvl 3)

  Stamina Regeneration (Lvl 5)

  Zeddington’s Infinite Key (Lvl 1)

  Silent Image (Lvl 1)

  Detect Secret Doors (Lvl 1)

  Satisfaction (Lvl 1)

  Drain

  Raise Dead (Lvl 28)

  Animate Skeleton (Lvl 38)

  Animate Flesh (Lvl 41)

  Stitch Flesh and Bone (Lvl 25)

  ReAnimate (Lvl 44)

  Disrupt Life (Lvl 29)

  Vicious Wrench (Lvl 45)

  Heal Undead (Lvl 38)

  Hold Monster (Lvl 44)

  Hold Humanoid (Lvl 23)

  Banish Undead (Lvl 10)

  True Vision of Shadows (Lvl 1)

  Vaux’s Brilliance (Lvl 1)

  Mage Hand (Lvl 1)

  Turn Undead (Lvl 1)

  Animate Minor Object (Lvl 1)

  Force Burst (Lvl 1)

  Finger of the Stone God (Lvl 1)

  Fireball (Lvl 6)

  Summon Imp (Lvl 1)

  Summon Celestial Ally (Lvl 1)

  Summon Infernal Ally (Lvl 1)

  Flamedart (Lvl 1)

  Fill Minor Hole (Lvl 1)

  Sticky Fireball (Lvl 8)

  Flameweaving (Lvl 3)

  Firespear (Lvl 2)

  Acid Arrow (Lvl 12)

  Acid Glob (Lvl 18)

  Snowball Storm (Lvl 1)

  Counterspell (Lvl 11)

  Light Orb (Lvl 2)

  One, my character sheet was getting absurdly long. I needed to find a way to only get the highlights. Two, there was nothing on it that give any indication I wasn’t an elf. Or, you know, that I was turning into a corpse-king. And I won’t lie and say that I didn’t give a moment’s thought to that change, that there might be some long-term benefits to being a corpse-king. The dude I’d gone up against had been pretty powerful. So, you know, maybe it was worth the change. But I didn’t really like the idea of being dead. I was fond of things like food and drink, of sleep and touching other people without wanting to eat. Those minor aspects of being alive still appealed to me.

  That thought made me realize I had been killed multiple times since the corpse-king incident, which was very bad. Because that meant dying did nothing to halt the process. Or reverse it.

  “Shit,” I said softly.

  “Which brings me back to the original question,” The Fayden said to his wife. “If you had to get something removed, notably this spell and the negative side effects therein, where would you go?”

  “Oh dear,” she said, her face falling. She looked at me with tears brimming in her eyes.

  “Do ’t do that,” I said, “I’ll be fine.”

  “I do not know how to answer that,” she said. “I do not know where he could go.”

  “Parthanax?” The Fayden asked.

  “Maybe,” she said with a sniff, “but if I recall correctly, they stopped learning magic out of spite when you cast a spell they could not.”

  “They might have tried to—“

  “But given how long it would take to get there, if you are wrong—“

  “Yes, too right. I doubt we could get a second chance at something, could we?”

  “Qelzrud?”

  “To battle-focused. What about Chygeis?”

  “Never came back from the Feedoheem. Zeirvicrinth?”

  “I thought she died. She was not she killed in the war—“

  The Fayden snapped his fingers and nodded. ”Right. I had forgotten. Bidrerass?”

  “Bidrerass would as likely eat an elf as speak to one. Besides, I doubt she would have the control to handle a spell like that. She was always--“

  “No, you are right.”

  “Merdyrrid?” she asked.

  “Lost in the Gloom, at least last I knew. What about Girgenerth?”

  “Oh,” she said, sitting up straight. “Oh, I had not considered Girgenerth. I suppose, if he could get there in time, there would be a chance.”

  “A chance of what?” I asked.

  “Girgenerth is a collector of things,” The Fayden said, “in a myriad of ways, and he has learned most every way to take things from others. So if there is a way to remove the spell and these, well, aspects of yourself from, well, yourself, I think it would be Girgenerth. If you can get to him in time, it is possible he would be willing to help you, and I suppose, save you from yourself.”

  “Okay, so, where is this Girgenerth?”

  “That is a bit part of the problem,” The Fayden said. “Last I knew, he was living in the Lone Oasis. Or in the Great Erg. I will have to actually check on that for sure before you go.”

  We existed in a thoughtful silence for a length of time. I’m pretty sure the couple was just being quiet to giv
e me space to think.

  You have been offered a quest by The Fayden:

  Seek and Destroy Part One

  Seek out the entity known as Girgenerth.

  Reward for success: unknown

  Penalty for failure (or refusal): possible death. Possible loss of self. Possibly nothing.

  Yes/No

  But me, I wasn’t sure what to do. It’s not really like I could leave. Not right now. Certainly not until I’d dealt with the Iron Silents. And after that, we’d probably be up against the White Hand. That would most definitely be more a war than a battle, and I needed to be here to help the group I started get through that. Plus, I mean, Nadya. And the throne. I’d have to help her. And Matthew. I just couldn’t leave.

  “I have to go,” I said.

  “You do,” The Fayden said.

  “No, I mean, right now.”

  “The sooner the better, really.”

  “No, I mean, I’m not traveling anywhere. I’m going, I mean — there’s a gang war probably about to happen, and I need to make sure my friends and my people are kept safe.”

  “Does this reference the favor you have yet to remind me about?”

  “Hardening stone. Yes. Can you do that from here?”

  “Probably, why?”

  “Do you mind if I send a kobold to talk to you?”

  “Is this kobold going to steal a potion of intelligence from me?”

  “I hope not?”

  “Then I suppose you can. Why?”

  “He’ll explain,” I said. “I have to run.”

  And run I did. At least until I got to the stairs. The stairs I walked.

  Chapter Seventy-Three

  I sent Boris over to The Fayden. Then I waited in the Heavy Purse for a while, hoping Matthew and Titus would come back to tell us all some good news. When they didn’t, Mornax and I went over to the butchers and grabbed some food for Hellion the mimic. And a little something for the grimeling as well.

  Monsters fed, it was back to waiting. Nadya swung by to have dinner. It was nice eating with her, just the two of us. Well, if we ignored Mornax watching over us.

  I explained everything I’d learned with the Fayden that day, being that, well, I didn’t want to keep secrets from her again.

  She stared at me.

  “You have to go,” she said.

  “I can’t,” I replied. “I’m sure the Fayden and I can figure out something here. He’s a brilliant wizard.”

  “Who said he can’t do it.”

  “He doesn’t know how to right now. I bet we can come up with something and--“

  “I really think you should go,” she said.

  “I think I should be here. For you. For all of my new family around me. Things are going to get bad soon.”

  “They’ll get worse if you turn into something that’s not you.”

  “Who knows? It might be better.”

  She gave me a look where even I realized I’d said the wrong thing.

  “It will be fine,” I said. “The Fayden and I will figure it out.”

  She gave me a weak smile, then kissed me on the cheek.

  “I have to go speak to my father,” she said. “About Valamir.”

  “Is everything okay?” I asked.

  “I have to give my answer. My formal answer.”

  “About being Empress?” I whispered.

  She nodded.

  “What are you going to say?”

  “I’ll let you know,” she said, and she kissed me again, this time with more feeling. And then she left, and I felt a little twinge of sadness seeing her go. I liked the girl, what can I say?

  Finally, as the sun was beginning to set, Matthew and Titus returned, glum.

  “Not exactly a triumphant return,” I said.

  “Because we were not at all triumphant,” Titus said, going behind the bar and pouring a very large glass of a very pungent liquor.

  “The White Hand and the Iron Silents are more powerful than we anticipated,” Matthew said, sitting down at my table and looking at Nadya’s plate. “And they have coffers we do not.”

  “They bought off all the other gangs,” Titus said.

  “Not all of them,” Matthew countered, “but enough. The missing children are not of concern to anyone.”

  “How is that possible? I asked. “How can these people not care—“

  “Because they are criminals,” Titus yelled out. “We are fools for thinking they would care.”

  “We should be preparing for tonight,” Matthew said, shooting a dark look over at Titus. “Not getting drunk.”

  “I can’t get drunk. Believe me, I wish I could right now, but it’s just one annoying aspect of being a tavernkeep.”

  “What’s tonight?” I asked.

  “When the Iron Silents attack,” Matthew said. “They have to, in order to save face. They must destroy us, or we them. But they come back from death whereas we, sadly, do not.”

  There wasn’t much time before nightfall, but knowing the Iron Silents, they’d likely hold off on their attack until later. So maybe I had time to launch my attack before theirs.

  “Barricades on the windows,” Titus said. “Get the non-combatants into the basements with the kobolds.”

  “Maybe set free the thing in the subbasement?” Matthew asked with half a smile on his face.

  My first thought, really, was to spill about my plan with the kobolds, but as I looked at the two men bantering about the preparation for the coming attacks, I knew that the best thing I could do was try and pull it off without them. Let them prepare the building for an attack, get their families safe. And, if I was successful, they could yell at me later. If I failed, at least they would be safe.

  “I’ll start working on my apartment,” I said, getting to my feet. “Let me know how else I can help.”

  I left the Heavy Purse, but did not go home.

  Chapter Seventy-Four

  I was nervous to see the home of the Iron Silents for the first time.

  I shouldn’t have been.

  Not to be too mean, but the Iron Silents lived in the crappier version of where I lived. There was a bar on the first floor, in a corner building, near a square in the Market District, just a few blocks from the Grand Bazaar.

  The plan was simple: let the horde of kobolds sneaking in through the basement kill the Iron Silents while I made sure none of them got away.

  I peeked over the roofline and watched the back door. The only other person who knew my plan was Mornax, and he was watching the front door. I didn’t feel like I could leave him behind, or try to fool him. He was part of my team now, and I was tired of sneaking around all the time.

  It was just now dark, that weird space where darkvision wasn’t fully useful, and regular vision had a little bit of trouble. And here I was, on top of a building with rather slippery tiles, trying not to fall off, and trying not to knock off a tile onto an unsuspecting passerby. From the rear of the building, I could see the tavernkeep taking out the trash, but all the windows above were covered. Most just using drapes or curtains, but two windows on the third floor of the five-story building were boarded over.

  These were the moments I wished for a radio. Or even watches. Instead, I had a tiny slip of paper about the same size as a postage stamp. On it was written a number five.

  I held it in one hand as I held onto the roof with the other.

  The five was erased, and four was written.

  A moment later, a three.

  Then a two and then a one.

  Go time.

  Well, it was go time for everyone else. For me, it was still waiting.

  Then the door opened with a crash, and a woman came out, dragging another woman. For a heartbeat I was going to let it go — the two women were coming out of the bar, and so there was the chance they were just drunk and trying to make their own way home. But then I realized what I was looking at, and my heart stopped when I recognized one of the two women.

  Lillian.


  Funny how fast her name came back to me when she needed saving. Again.

  “Damn it all,” I said softly, and slid off the roof, making my way to the ground in a fairly controlled fall-climb down. It wasn’t the most impressive exit, nor the most subtle — I maybe broke a window or two, and perhaps ripped off some architectural details — but I made it down very quickly and without injury.

  The two women ran down the alley across the street from me, and the mystery woman saw me.

  It seemed like just a flick of her wrist, but a dagger flew across the road.

  I dropped to my knees, sliding.

  The dagger curved in the air, but missed me by less than an inch.

  I was back on my feet, charging forward towards them. But in the moment I’d taken my eyes off the pair to make sure I didn’t get pin-cushioned by the dagger, they’d disappeared.

  Left, nothing.

  Right, the mystery woman had thrown Lillian onto a wagon and was in the midst of kicking the driver off his seat.

  Within three steps, the mystery woman had gotten the horses going and the wagon lurched forward, away from me.

  I kept the sprint up, but the horses were already getting up to speed. I dove, arms outstretched, and I managed to just brush my fingertips against the back of the wagon before landing hard on the ground.

  “Get up!” Mornax yelled at me. “Move faster!”

  “Watch the damn door!” I shouted back as he raced across the street and ignored the whole watching thing, instead lowering his shoulder and just charging through the door.

  I picked myself up off the cobblestones, and saw the wagon still moving down the road. Looking around, there weren’t a whole host of options for chasing. There were a few horses tied up, but I didn’t think now was the time to try to learn how to ride. So I reached into my coin purse and pulled out a handful of gold.

  “Follow the wagon,” I shouted at a carriage driver. “And step on it!”

  “Step on what?” he asked, amenable to the idea, but confused.

  “Just get me close enough to the wagon that I can jump on it.”

  “How much gold you got?”

  I dumped the handful of gold by his feet, and he snapped the reins, the horses leaping into motion. I barely had enough time to grab on and pull myself aboard before the carriage sped away.

 

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