Cole flashed an honest smile. Lawrence had no idea where he got this idea of being in an adventurous legend. But ten years ago he had also hoped for such exciting adventures, so it made sense for a kid with the smarts of a merchant to feel the same way. Was there anyone more pure than this boy?
“True, she did say that she will talk about this journey forever. But then I need to look good in front of you.”
It was a weak attempt at a joke, but Cole still laughed happily.
“I don’t want to be known as a burden on the two of you.”
Such a counter-joke would never be allowed if Holo were with them. Lawrence shook his head and sighed, looking up at the sky.
“In any case there is one rule we must absolutely follow.. we cannot make her angry.”
Cole wasn’t the type to take words at their face value. He would understand what Lawrence really meant.
“Sometimes I’m just that ugly.. I could use someone’s help to stop me.”
“Sure.”
Cole answered.
“If I can.”
Lawrence was up against opponents who were skilled at fighting several battles at the same time, so he needed as much help as he could get. What was it that Holo had told him? Her advice of getting used to using people could also mean learning to trust them. The second half of that sentence was the key point for a fight like this.
He shook hands with the boy, and they both calmed down. Having a chat like this proved more effective than taking him out to the shop in the first place. Holo would probably be chuckling to herself back at the inn.
“Alright then, let’s get back.”
Lawrence sped up after his announcement.
“Let’s.”
This time, Cole didn’t fall behind.
The gray skies seemed less depressing somehow.
Chapter 5
When they arrived back at their inn, they found Holo sound asleep, wrapped up in her blanket, and snoring. Lawrence and Cole looked at each other and smiled, at which point she ceased snoring. Were her ears really that sensitive? Or could she just detect such things through the air somehow?
Either way her eyes slowly opened, though she tucked her head back under the blanket as her body trembled from a tremendous yawn.
“So what will we do in the end?”
She could tell they had gone out, and called for Cole to come to her before sniffing him. Perhaps she wanted to find out what food she had missed out on, but Cole instinctively curled up his body in embarrassment.
“We merchants can’t survive without a guild, so I can’t afford to stand against mine.”
“Well it is cool under a large tree, and it offers protection for the small potatoes under it. It is the right place for you..”
Her harsh tone was quite similar to the one Eve had used earlier while trying to convince Lawrence to side with her. He was a small potato in this city, but that also meant he could move more freely during an incident that may have dire repercussions on its future. “Small potato” was a bit harsh... but it put things into perspective.
“To win the greatest profit in the short-term, our only real choice is to get the Narwhale together with Eve.”
“And escape hand in hand? That might be amusing, hmmm?”
If Holo wasn’t around, was such a dangerous and adventurous choice even possible? Lawrence briefly considered it, realizing that if she wasn’t there he would have already walked away from the situation.
“How stupid.”
Lawrence shrugged in response, noting that she was smiling while comfortably wagging her tail. He knew she would have continued, “If you are afraid of my idea, just say so”, but the play wouldn’t be any fun if they revealed its central mystery to Cole so soon.
“Our whereabouts are known both by Eve and my guild. And we won’t know when they will sweep us up into danger. So I’m just trying to make sure we’re all clear, so we don’t get mixed up when the time comes.”
After he finished, Holo watched him silently for a moment before smiling.
“What is it?”
She didn’t answer. But her smile was answer enough.. she was regarding him like she would a child who had fallen, but stopped himself from crying.
“Mmm.”
Holo nodded and gave Cole’s head a knock. It seemed he and Cole both shared the same rank in her pack.
“Go on.”
Lawrence began his explanation at Cole’s urging.
* * *
It was quite late, so their requests for more wine were being met with yawns from the innkeeper. Lawrence had anticipated that Eve or Keeman would send for them, but no one came. He was so nervous he barely touched his wine. But he knew that he was worrying too much. Holo had managed to get Cole drunk, as usual. After confirming he was asleep, she threw herself on the bed as well.
“If I do not get him drunk, he will refuse to sleep on the bed.”
That was her story. Was it her way of being gentle? It actually felt more like violence.
“Then, this will be our last bottle of wine for tonight.”
It wasn’t exactly as compensation, but because Lawrence had acted stupidly twice that day he obediently agreed to buy her wine. Of course, Holo had been hoping he would eventually do just that.. but she was obviously bored that he hadn’t put up a fight. She should have reacted with contempt upon hearing “the last bottle for tonight”, but she instead opted to quietly abstain. She was as cunning as usual.. ever the Wisewolf.
“It would be even better if you could stop venting like that.”
She uttered this to him while sitting on the edge of the bed, having slid her tail under Cole’s pillow and received the bottle from Lawrence. Of course she wanted him to ignore her words rather than answer, but Lawrence couldn’t permit such childishness.. it would make her so happy, her tail would wag and wake Cole up. He chose his reply carefully.
“Perhaps.. but those who put on a tough front are the ones who die early. That’s even how it is with mercenaries. Venting is a good thing.”
“Fool.”
She answered with displeasure, then lifted Cole’s head by grabbing his ear, apparently to pull her tail out from under his head. Lawrence was surprised she wasn’t being gentle until he noticed the drool trailing out of Cole’s mouth.
“I can’t afford to be careless.”
Holo sighed at this and stroked her tail. Lawrence watched them while eating some fried beans, eventually walking to the window to open the shutters and look outside. He only saw drunken men stumbling home.
With no festival going on, seeing so many drunkards wandering around was a bad sign for the city. Since the landowners ruled this end of town, it was a sign that the city was falling apart. The Narwhale could help turn this situation around. Its importance was becoming clearer and clearer.
“You are looking outside while I am here?”
Holo had moved to a chair and was now eating his beans. That daring, combined with the happy sound of her chewing, was enough to make him happy as well.
“We do have to be ready to run.”
That seemed to be a good enough answer for Holo. She chuckled and picked up a bean that had fallen on the table.
“Quite right. Hey.. will you not drink with me? It is lonely to drink on my own.”
She poked his cup, which was still full of wine. He stared at it, realizing that he hadn’t even finished one cup yet.
“Why not. It seems there won’t be any messages for us tonight anyway.”
“That much is uncertain.”
Sitting opposite her at the table, he reacted with confusion.
“Huh?”
“Foxes have excellent night vision.”
He shook his head and shrugged.
“Then it’s all the more important that I drink.”
“Hmm?”
“If I’m drunk, I won’t have to think about how I’m being used.”
Holo smiled wide enough to reveal a fang.
“Foo
l. If you do not sleep defensively, this story will come to an early end.”
“But if the prey does this, the wolf can catch them before the fox does, right?”
At his challenge, her other fang was finally revealed.
“It is difficult to say. Prey always expose their bellies to me. It would be careless of me to not eat them as quickly as possible. It could get dangerous.”
Lawrence had no choice but to counterattack such a severe assault.
“Then you shouldn’t expose your tail to me so easily. If you really wish to prey upon me, you need to take care that I don’t grab it.”
“You would not dare.. is that what you want me to say?”
Even Lawrence could lose his cool if he heard that from someone whose elbows were on the table, cupping their face in their hands while flicking their ears. He could tell she was hunting for something. But he decided to take a sip of wine before continuing his challenge.
“You’re hiding something about the Narwhale, aren’t you?”
But he was the one who ended up the most surprised. Holo, who had been smiling and lifting her cup to drink, flinched violently. If she had been acting, it would be his loss.. but she wasn’t. Her eyes darted away, clearly realizing that she couldn’t hide her loss of composure. She bit her lip and stared at him.
“I’m even more surprised than you are.”
His diplomacy seemed to work. After taking a deep breath, she paused for some time before sighing.
“That is why you are a fool.”
She drank the rest of her wine in her cup while complaining. Lawrence knew he had the advantage, but he couldn’t bring himself to make the next move. He looked like a child ready to receive a beating.
“Even if you wear that kind of expression, I will not tell you. I do not want to.”
She turned away after saying so. She was acting angry, but also looked childish.. it had to be on purpose. But she was always two steps ahead of him, sometimes to trap him and sometimes to maintain a safe distance from an attack.
When he tried to read her intent, her ears and tail became vital clues. Just as woodsmen and trappers communicated with smoke signals, Lawrence could interpret the subtle signals she was giving off. She was actually trying to conceal her embarrassment.. he couldn’t help but chuckle at the revelation.
“If you dare make another sound, I will truly lose my temper.”
She turned away with her eyes closed. He debated whether or not he should laugh, but decided to raise his cup and take another drink instead. He couldn’t decide on anything else.
Still, if Holo knew about the Narwhale, then she must have already known about its myth and legend.. that one would gain immortality by consuming its flesh, and heal any illness by consuming its horn. What was it that she feared, having lived for so long? It was all he could do to recall what she had told him on their journey.
Even Holo couldn’t have known everything at birth, and must have been a rebellious child prone to foolishness. Yet even after all of that, if there was the slightest chance, she might make a wish.. a wish to bridge the gap between different life spans.
“I thought you understood, and pretended not to know for my sake.. I am such a fool!”
She had been watching him as she spoke, and realized that he had at least reached his place by her side. She continued to drink, neither crying nor depressed. That eased Lawrence’s mind, because it meant one who had experienced much shame and embarrassment in their past could still freely smile.
“No.. to be honest, I thought you were inexperienced and naďve about such things. I didn’t expect you would know about the legend.”
He believed the myth to be something only humans would care about.. something completely unrelated to Holo and her kind.
“Fool..”
She wiped some wine that had splashed on her cheek with her sleeve, then lay her face down on the table. But her hands still held her cup, so she might simply be drunk.
“I take it you once searched for it?”
Holo nodded. It was probably several centuries ago.
“Back then, I really knew nothing about reality. I believed I could fix everything I did not like. I could travel if I hated being praised or depended-upon. I could make a friend if I had none. I believed that happy times could last forever.”
She continued to lie on the table, flicking the beans that had fallen off her plate at him. She had been honest until then. If her present personality could be called “weathered,” then it must have been razor-sharp back then.
“I even ended up crying over it.. I imagine you might like that.”
She smiled and looked up at him. If she continued flicking beans at his face, he would have to hide it behind his cup by drinking more.
“Oh ho.. but people laugh more happily when they share their sad tales with others.”
“That I cannot deny.”
Even Lawrence chuckled to himself when he recalled his past failures. But he didn’t really want to remember them. The reason was obvious – it was too lonely to do so when he had no friends to share them with. He quickly realized how foolish such thoughts were, and that he shouldn’t be entertaining them even for a second. After all, that sensitive wolf was still lying on the table, eying him and smiling.
“I have you now.”
It was too direct an attack to withstand. All Lawrence could do was flick beans back at her.
“You also have Cole.”
“I cannot reveal these things to him. He is the counterweight that reminds me that I am the Wisewolf.”
What did that mean? Lawrence’s finger halted just before it flicked the bean, paused in thought. Cole was from a village in the north, and tended to view Holo as a living legend. There should be only one reason for her to describe him as a heavy stone..
Her finger suddenly flicked the bean at his fingertip.
“He praises me as the Wisewolf. He was foolish enough to ask whether he could touch my tail the very moment he saw me. It has been centuries since I experienced that.. it brought back memories that made me very happy. He reminds me that I am the Wisewolf.”
Holo extended her hand to Lawrence’s and their fingers entangled.
“Indeed, you have been more relaxed recently.”
“Mhm. I have no excuse.”
Judging from her words, it was Cole’s view of her as the Wisewolf that reminded her of who she was. It was thus obvious why she would be doing this: the Wisewolf was worthy of Yoitsu, not the little girl living comfortably at a merchant’s side.
“But still..”
As their fingers continued to play, as if holding their own argument, he continued.
“You kept something this big from me, even while always pushing me to be open with you when I need to make a choice.”
They had been through troubles born from keeping their thoughts from one another. Though he felt he was being unusually aggressive, Holo answered him calmly.
“My profit would only decrease if I openly discussed business matters.”
If she hadn’t smiled like a mischievous child while saying that, Lawrence would have found it impossible to accept, even with the bitterest of smiles. She sat up tall, stretching her body and flicking her ears.
They couldn’t let themselves grow too close.. they both knew that important rule deep in their hearts. However, and ironically, the fact that they were so aware of this meant that the opposite was happening. Lawrence had even ignored the rule before.
Holo must have kicked at the stones along the incredibly long path of her life. But she couldn’t change reality. When she described Cole as “a counterweight”, it was no exaggeration. She didn’t just tease Lawrence with Cole for fun.. it was a defense mechanism.
He was a way to keep them from crossing the line. A way to obscure what was difficult to solve. Even if it was an excuse.
“We are all greedy, and selfishly fight for ourselves.”
“That’s true. Although..”
Lawrence paused, but opted to continue with a hint of irony.
“Although, if I wasn’t greedy, I would be able to buy you more good food.”
Hearing his sarcasm, Holo was embarrassed into smiling and standing up. Her face was so red he suspected it might be too warm in the room. As anticipated, she closed her eyes like she did when she opened a window and felt a cool breeze wash over her.
“Hmm.. but is my happiness not your profit?”
She looked like a cat enjoying having its neck scratched. As if a cool breeze had indeed washed over her, she opened a curious eye to study him. Her theatrics were so good it was as though she was watching herself in a mirror.
“If you could truly be bribed with just food, then that might be the case.”
Her eye closed again. It was eerie how she could repeat the same gesture, yet make it look like she was sulking the second time. But it was only for a moment, she quickly transformed into a proud noble.
“Then how would you bribe me?”
Lawrence could remember a time when a trading partner of his, a village, requested that he try to sell wine barrels to a nearby convent with a large vineyard. The abbot was a proud and cheap man. He was quite demanding and made it a really hard sell.
Considering himself to be in a high-class convent, perhaps that abbot felt himself to be closer to God. He was quite disrespectful. But the actual god in front of Lawrence now hated being treated as a high er being, and so avoided such behavior. Why would the Wisewolf be acting this way?
The abbot wouldn’t consider the losses of the people selling to him; he was only concerned about the profits of his own party. But the preconditions of this situation were different, so the results had to be different as well. She was probably hoping for this answer.
“If not by food, then by words or attitude.”
“And how could I place my trust in such things?”
Even a smirk full of fangs could become endearing when one got to know the person behind it. If he didn’t trust her, he could only respond in a servile fashion. To prove his sincerity he either had to stand, or sit still and not run away.. either was an attractive prospect, making it difficult to decide. He gulped down the rest of the wine in his cup before replying.
Spice & Wolf IX (DWT) Page 3