Damn. He was sexy when he got all possessive. “No, it wasn’t a lie.” She let him pin her arms above her head with one of his hands, trying to distract him by arching her back as she thrust her breasts up. “I believe in being prepared. I’m sure you have a condom in your wallet or truck, should the opportunity arise. What’s the difference?”
His eyes darkened, the irritation evident in the hard set of his jaw. “It pisses me off to think you’re preparin’ to have sex with someone other than me.”
She felt a delicious shiver start in her belly and course through her, resulting in thrill bumps rising on her skin. “Are you saying you don’t want me to replace the condom if we use it tonight?”
“No.” He ran his hand over her neck, down her chest, before finally cupping her breast. “Hell, no! You can always count on me to take care of you. When we have sex again, I’ll be the one to supply the condoms.”
Josie knew she should remind him this had to be a one-time deal, but she didn’t want to ruin the moment. “Suit yourself, cowboy.”
His hand smoothed over her flat stomach before dipping inside her. “Jesus, you’re so hot, so wet for me.”
She knew she should be embarrassed he could tell how aroused she was, but she couldn’t find a modicum of shame when he looked at her that way. “Is that a complaint?”
“No way. I just hope you’re not the one complainin’ when this is over.” He lowered his head, chuckling. “The way I feel now, I could go off any second.”
“Let’s hope not,” she said, closing her eyes as he took her to a place beyond thought and reason. “That feels amazing, D.J.” She arched her back, frustrated he was still holding her hands.
“You have to give up the fight,” he whispered in her ear before dipping his tongue inside. “You just have to let go, to let me give you pleasure. Can you do that?”
“Yes.” She never thought she would be surrendering control to someone like D.J., but it felt too right to suppress the urge.
“That’s my girl.”
My girl. He’d written a song called “My Girl.” It was her favorite. It told the story of how he’d fallen in love with a woman who captured his heart the first time he laid eyes on her in the middle of a crowded bar.
He outlined her face with his lips, the sensation tickling and arousing her at the same time he built momentum, teasing her with his fingers until she shattered while crying out his name.
“I could hear that every night and never tire of it,” he said, his lips forming a lazy smile as he stared down at her. “My name on your lips while I pleasure you. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever heard.”
She closed her eyes, stretching her aching muscles leisurely like a lazy cat basking in the sun on a hot summer day. “What’s D.J. stand for?”
He smiled as his eyes traveled over her naked body. “There aren’t too many people who know the answer to that question, but lookin’ like that qualifies you to be in the select group.”
“Ohhhh, the select group,” she teased, kissing his neck. “Tell me.”
“Keep doin’ that and I’ll tell ya anything you wanna know,” he groaned, closing his eyes.
“Let’s start with your name,” she whispered, stroking his shaft. “Then we can go from there.”
“Dustin James.”
“I like that. That sounds like a country star’s name, Dustin James Stevens. Why don’t you use it?”
“I don’t know.” His breathing became more labored the more intently she concentrated on her task. “My, uh, oh God…” He tipped his head back.
“You were saying…?” She loved seeing that look on his face, like the only thing he could think about was what she was doing to him.
“My buddies started callin’ me D.J. when…” He squeezed his eyes shut, breathing harder. “Jesus, Jos…”
“When…?”
“We were kids. It… just… stuck.”
She slipped out from under him before taking the condom pack from his clenched fist to do the honors.
He laid on his back, watching her take over. “Baby, I—”
“Sssh,” she said, afraid he may say or do something that would make her have second thoughts about going through with this. “No talking. Please.”
He frowned, but complied. Waiting patiently while she sat astride his waist, he watched her guide his shaft inside of her before gripping her waist. “Tell me that doesn’t feel amazin’,” he whispered. “Tell me it doesn’t feel like you were made for me.”
Maybe it was because she hadn’t had sex in so long, but the sensation did feel so much better than she remembered. Letting her body override her brain, she gave into the impulse to ride him hard and fast, to make up for the long and lonely nights she’d been denying herself pleasure to protect her fragile heart.
“God, Jos…” He clamped her hips hard, setting the pace even though she was the one who was supposed to be in control. “Just like that.” He looked up at her, watching her face contort in pleasure as she scaled the final peak to claim her release. “I could never get enough of this… watching you like this, feeling you wrapped around me like this…”
Josie tried to ignore the warning bells going off in her head. The way he was looking at her so intently made her want to run for cover. He was getting in too deep, taking her with him. She had to put a stop to this the only way she knew how. Bracing her hands on his chest, she gave him everything she had to give, knowing it would be more than he could take.
Now it was her turn to watch him grimace as he sought the primal satisfaction of surrendering to his body’s demands. “Josie…”
She closed her eyes, wishing she could cover her ears so she wouldn’t have to hear his raspy voice call out her name as he throbbed inside of her. It was too much. He was too much. She should have known playing with a man like him would inevitably result in scars.
“Come here you,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “That was incredible. You’re incredible.”
Josie turned her head, hoping he wouldn’t feel the tear that dropped on to his chest. She couldn’t believe she’d let this happen. She’d been so careful to avoid men like D.J. since her divorce; now she felt like she was right back where she started, trying to put her life back together in the aftermath of a raging storm.
But this was different, she told herself, trying to calm her fears. D.J. wasn’t her husband. He was a just a man she barely knew. A simple one-night stand. She didn’t have to piece her life back together because this didn’t change anything. Tonight she would go back to her little house, slip into her bed and fall asleep alone. Tomorrow morning she would wake up and go to work like she did every other morning. Like nothing had changed. She only wished she could shake the sick feeling that everything had changed and nothing in her orderly world would ever be the same again.
***
D.J. tried to play it off as nerves when Josie hurried to get dressed after they made love, but the deafening silence filling the cab of the truck on the way home punctuated the point something was very wrong.
“Tell me what you’re thinkin’,” he said, squeezing her thigh. “You’ve been too quiet.”
“I just…” She gripped the door handle. “I’m sorry. I should never have let that happen.”
His stomach sank as the feeling of dread grew. “Don’t do that. Don’t let your fear get in the way, baby. We could have somethin’ great. Tonight just proved that.”
“No,” she said, staring out the window in a trance-like state. “The only thing tonight proved is that I can’t trust myself to be around you.”
“Come again?” He removed his hand from her thigh, curling both hands around the steering wheel so he wouldn’t give in to the temptation to touch her again.
“I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.”
“Do what?” He could hear the frustration in her voice, but he was equally as frustrated and he was tired of trying to suppress it. He wanted to get it out in the open even if it meant an ugly fight, at least they�
�d both have the opportunity to air their grievances and hopefully move past them.
“I thought we could just be friends, but we can’t.” She twisted her hands in her lap. “The attraction is too strong, too powerful.”
“And shouldn’t that tell you something?” He couldn’t understand how she could miss the signs that were so obvious to him. They were perfect for each other.
“It tells me that we’re sexually compatible, but I’m pretty sure you’ve been sexually compatible with dozens of women.”
He was getting pissed that she kept throwing his past in his face. “I told you not to compare yourself to other women. When I’m with you, I’m not thinkin’ about anyone else. Hell, even when I’m not with you I can’t think about anyone else.”
“We’re not good for each other,” she said, shaking her head. “Relationships that are all-consuming never end well.”
“Why? Because your ex was a cheating scumbag who broke your heart and you’ve decided I’m gonna do the same thing?”
“Have you ever been faithful to a woman for longer than a year?” she asked, finally looking at him.
He almost wished she hadn’t given him her full attention. It may have made it easier to tell the truth. “No, but that doesn’t mean—”
“You’re how old?” she asked.
He almost winced as he said, “Thirty-two.”
“You’re thirty-two years old and you’ve never had a monogamous relationship longer than a year. What does that tell you?”
He could understand her point. Maybe if their situations were reversed he would have felt the same way, but he was just asking for a chance to prove this time could be different, she could be the one who made him want to forsake all other women. Maybe. Possibly. Ah hell, who was he trying to kid? Just thinking about marriage made him break out in a cold sweat. Maybe she was right. Maybe it was time to end this before it went too far. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Cassidy would never forgive him. He would never forgive himself.
“It tells me you’re right,” he said finally. “I’m a lousy bet.” It hurt to know he was disappointing her, especially since tonight had been one of the most incredible experiences of his life, but she deserved to hear the truth. “I’m not good at relationships. My career comes first.”
“Right,” she said, reaching down for her purse as they neared her car. “That’s what I thought.”
He felt terrible when he heard the catch in her voice. “Look, I’m sorry if—”
“Please don’t,” she said, forcing a smile as she touched his forearm. “I was a willing participant tonight and it was great. No regrets.”
“No regrets,” he repeated as he pulled into the spot beside her car. Only watching her get out of his truck, he was filled with regrets.
Chapter Seven
Josie tried hard to focus on Connor’s account of his latest business trip to Albany, but it wasn’t easy when her eyes kept scanning the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of D.J. She knew he was there with a beautiful brunette on his arm. She’d seen him seated a few pews ahead of her while Cassidy’s mother and her new husband exchanged their vows.
Days had passed since their interlude in the back of his truck and she hadn’t heard a word from him. Not that she expected to. She’d wanted a one-night stand and that’s exactly what he’d given her. One incredible night she was pretty sure had ruined her for all other men.
“Hey, isn’t that D.J. Stevens?” Connor asked, lifting his glass.
Connor had become a country music fan only after she told him she was beginning to appreciate the genre, she assumed so they would have something in common.
“Yeah, I guess it is,” she said, turning her back to D.J.
“He’s coming this way,” Connor said, sounding excited. “You think I should ask him for an autograph?”
“No,” she said in a fierce whisper, gripping his forearm. “Please don’t do—”
“Josie.” His voice skated down her back like someone poured warm honey down her strapless cocktail dress.
Damn. Him. She turned to face him, pulling her teeth back in a feral smile. “Hey, D.J. How’ve you been?”
He raised an eyebrow as he gave Connor a quick once-over. “I’ve been better. A lot better, in fact.”
She didn’t have to be a mind reader to know he was referring to what happened in the bed of his pick-up. “Really?” She cleared her throat, praying it didn’t sound as squeaky to him as it did to her. “Um, Connor, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, D.J. Stevens.”
“Wow, you didn’t tell me you were friends with D.J. Stevens,” he said, offering D.J. his hand. “This is a real pleasure. Your song, ‘My Girl,’ is one of my favorites.”
“My Girl.” Oh, God. That reminded Josie of when they’d been on the verge of making love and D.J. had referred to her as his girl. If only she could hit rewind and erase that night. But would she, given the opportunity? It depended on the minute. She waffled so much about what happened that night she was getting dizzy just thinking about it.
“Thanks,” he muttered, withdrawing his hand. “Jos, I was hopin’ I could talk you into takin’ a spin around the dance floor with me. What do you say?”
Was he crazy? “Um, I don’t know—”
“Go ahead,” Connor said, chuckling. “When are you gonna get another chance to dance with a country music superstar, right?”
She hadn’t realized it when they were dating, but Connor was a serious kiss-ass.
“Any damn time she wants,” D.J. muttered, taking her hand and leading her toward the dance floor. He waited until Josie was in his arms before he said, “For the record, I hate that guy.”
She couldn’t help but smile. Of course D.J. would hate Connor. They were as different as two men could be. Connor was the metrosexual who got weekly manicures, expensive haircuts, and drove a shiny black Lexus while D.J. was a backwards ball cap, torn jeans, and a dirty pickup truck.
“What are you smilin’ about?” he asked, tightening his arm around her waist. “You think it’s funny I wanna punch your pretty boy in the face?”
“I’d say that’s a pretty extreme reaction to a limp handshake, wouldn’t you?” she asked, trying to suppress a smile.
“I’m pretty sure his handshake isn’t the only thing that’s limp.”
She gave in, laughing out loud as the couple next to them turned to stare. As soon as they spotted D.J., they smiled and returned to their conversation. “You’re so bad.”
“I missed you, Jos.”
“I bet you didn’t tell that to the pretty brunette hanging off your arm.”
“Actually I did tell her.”
When she frowned, he said, “She’s my agent. I told her I didn’t feel like bringing a date, but didn’t wanna come stag either, so she offered to be my plus one. We go way back.”
“She’s lovely,” she said, trying to stifle the envy.
“We’ve never been… together. We’re just friends.”
“I guess it would make for a more complicated working relationship if you slept with her, huh?”
He sighed, letting his hand drift to the swell of her bottom. “Contrary to popular belief, I don’t chase after anything in a skirt.”
“Hmmm, so you’re saying you’re selective?” She looked up at him, hoping to find the truth in his eyes. Big mistake. The only thing she saw was raw lust… and a man who wanted her. Again. “D.J., don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” he asked, licking his lips as he fixated on her mouth.
“Like you’re gonna kiss me.”
“I am going to kiss you.”
“You can’t!” she squeaked, planting her hands on his shoulders. “We’re in a public place. I’m here with a date.”
“You said he’s just a friend.” He splayed his hand across her backside intimately, letting everyone know they were more than dance partners.
“He is, but—”
He brushed his lips across her ear, eff
ectively silencing her as she tried to breathe. “Jos, I can’t get the other night out of my head. I’ve tried, but I can’t.”
She wanted to tell him she felt his pain, but if she admitted the truth, he would undoubtedly use her weakness to convince her once wasn’t enough.
“Sweetheart, ditch that loser and come home with me tonight. We need to talk. We need to figure this thing out.”
“We’ve already figured it out.” She was desperate to run, but he was holding her too tight and she couldn’t risk a scene with so many people watching D.J.’s every move. “You told me you’re a lousy bet, that you don’t do relationships.”
“Sometimes I open my big mouth before I think things through,” he said, tipping his forehead against hers. “I shouldn’t have said those things.”
“You were being honest.”
“I was scared,” he admitted. “I started thinking about what it would mean to be committed, how my life would change, and I got scared.”
Commitment? He was thinking about making a commitment to her? “I have to go. I’m sorry,” she said, pushing him away. “I’m not feeling well, D.J.”
***
He watched her run and he understood. He’d done the same thing. But he’d had days to reflect and he realized how much he stood to lose if he kept running.
Returning to his big, old, empty house at the end of a long day used to feel gratifying, now it just felt lonely. After making love to Josie once, he wanted her every night. In her bed or his, it didn’t matter as long as he got to wake up next to her.
Before he could decide whether he should chase after Josie or give her a little breathing room, Cassidy slipped into his arms.
“You want to tell me what that was all about, D.J.?”
“We’re just tryin’ to sort things out.” He would give anything to hear a woman’s perspective, especially one who knew Josie so well, but he didn’t want to betray her trust by revealing their secret to her best friend.
“It doesn’t look like you’re making any progress.” Cassidy reached up, bringing his face back to hers when Josie stepped onto the dance floor with her date. “Did you take my advice? Have you tried—”
Jaded (Music City Moguls Book 5) Page 8