“I do love Connor, as a friend.” She cupped his face in her hands. “But what I feel for you is… different. Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this way before.”
He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, absorbing her words. “I thought winnin’ male artist of the year last year was the highlight of my life, but I’m pretty sure this moment eclipses even that.”
She smiled before holding him close. “You don’t mean that.”
“Yeah, I do.” He opened his eyes, brushing her hair aside so he could kiss her cheek before whispering in her ear. “Here’s the thing.” He never thought he’d be saying these things to a woman so soon, but it felt right. “I think I’m fallin’ in love with you.”
Looking stunned, her eyes trapped his. “You can’t—”
“Yes, I can,” he said, silencing her protest with a finger covering her lips. “I don’t expect you to say anything or do anything. I just wanted you to know how I felt.” Kissing her briefly before sliding off the desk, he said, “I’ll see ya tonight, sweetheart.”
***
Josie still felt like she was walking around in a fog when she met Cassidy in the juice bar tucked away in the corner of her gym a few minutes later. Falling in love with her? It wasn’t possible. Was it?
“What’s wrong?” Cassidy asked, patting the stool beside her before handing Josie her favorite mixed berry smoothie. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I, uh…” She took a sip of her drink, needing a moment to collect her thoughts. “D.J. just said something that really threw me, that’s all.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense,” Cassidy said impatiently. “What did he say?”
“He said he thinks he’s falling in love with me,” she whispered, shaking her head as though that alone would dispel the ridiculous notion.
“Shut up!” Cassidy gripped her forearm. “What did you say? How did you react? Tell me everything!”
“I was too stunned to say much of anything,” she said, replaying the conversation in her mind. “But that didn’t seem to bother him. He said he didn’t expect me to say anything. He just wanted me to know how he felt.”
“And how do you feel?”
That was the million dollar question, but with the dizzying swirl of thoughts and feelings churning around inside her head, Josie was too confused to sort it out. “I don’t know,” she said, trying to make sense of it all. “D.J.’s a good guy. In spite of my initial impression of him, I really believe that.”
“But?”
“He’s still D.J. Stevens.”
Cassidy laughed. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. Most women would definitely consider that a positive.”
“But for me it’s not,” Josie said, feeling frustrated when the words to describe her feelings wouldn’t come. “I dated the most popular guy in school, the one all the other guys wanted to be friends with and girls wanted to date. If you recall, that didn’t work out so well for me.”
“I didn’t know your ex, but from what you told me about him, D.J. is nothing like that.”
Josie wanted to believe that, but it wasn’t easy when there were still so many glaring similarities. “He’s good-looking, rich, successful, a womanizer who loves to party…” She sighed. “My ex was all of those things too, Cass. How are they so different?”
“Sure, D.J. likes to have a good time. He’s a fun and entertaining guy who happens to be in the music business, which is all about showing people a good time. And I can’t deny that he loves women and they love him, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be faithful if he found the right woman.”
“I don’t know, a part of me thinks he may be saying these things because he’s feeling insecure about Connor moving in with me and may be trying to convince me to make a commitment so I won’t be tempted by Connor, which is ridiculous.”
Cassidy was the first person Josie called after Connor dropped his bombshell. She needed her best friend’s reassurance that everything was going to work out and she’d made the right decision by offering her home to her ex-boyfriend.
“Is it ridiculous?” Cassidy asked. “Think about it. You had feelings for Connor before. You’re still friends. You tell me all the time you think he’s an amazing guy and that you love him. Can you blame D.J. for feeling insecure about this? You two are just getting started. He doesn’t know where he stands with you. The only thing he knows for sure is that he’s crazy about you and doesn’t want to lose you to someone else.”
Josie tried to put herself in D.J.’s position. If his ex, whom he was still friends with, reappeared, asking to stay with him because life had dealt her a bad hand and he agreed, she would probably feel the same way. “I can’t turn my back on Connor.”
“No one’s asking you to, but maybe you need to be honest with him about how you feel about D.J., so he won’t get the wrong idea.”
“I don’t even know how I feel about D.J. yet,” Josie said, feeling frustrated and confused. “This is all so new. You know me. I don’t jump into romantic relationships on a whim.”
“You don’t jump into bed with men on a whim either,” Cassidy said, lowering her voice so the other people sitting at the bar wouldn’t overhear. “And the fact that you did sleep with D.J. so soon proves that you have feelings for him too.”
Josie couldn’t deny her friend was right. She wasn’t impetuous, and as much as the decision to sleep with D.J. may have seemed spontaneous, she’d been considering the possibility ever since she laid eyes on him. He was sexy and she was attracted to him. But was it more than that? “Of course I have feelings, I just don’t know what they are.”
“Tell me how you feel when you’re with him,” Cassidy suggested.
Josie smiled. “He makes me laugh. I feel comfortable when I’m with him, like we’ve known each other forever. I’ve opened up to him, told him stories about my ex and my family that only a few people know.” She stole a quick glance at Cassidy before she whispered, “I even told him about the baby.”
“Wow… that says a lot. You didn’t even tell Connor about that, did you?”
Josie shook her head. She hadn’t told Connor because she was afraid he would think less of her. She hadn’t had those reservations with D.J. She believed he would understand because he’d made his fair share of mistakes too. Maybe that was part of the reason she liked him so much, because in spite of his fame and success, he was still a real person.
“How did D.J. react?”
“He was supportive and understanding,” Josie said, a slight smile curving her lips as she recalled D.J.’s reaction. “I feel like I could tell him anything and he wouldn’t judge me.”
“I don’t have to tell you that’s the foundation of a great relationship, Josie. How many times have you told me Bryan was so self-absorbed he never took the time to talk or listen? That was a huge part of the reason your marriage ended, right?”
“It was,” Josie said hesitantly. She knew Cassidy was trying to build a case for D.J. because he was her friend, but she couldn’t let Cassidy’s opinion color her own. This had to be her decision.
“And you said you and Connor always seemed to be in the dreaded friend zone, right? No matter how hard you tried, there was no sparks, no chemistry.”
That much was true. She’d started dating Connor because she wanted a man who was the opposite of Bryan, but with Connor, she sacrificed the passion. With D.J., it seemed he had everything she was looking for and that terrified her because she knew losing him would cut even deeper than losing Bryan had.
D.J. was perfect in so many ways, the kind of man a woman built her dreams around, and if he disappointed her someday, she knew she would be shattered. Could she really risk that given how hard she’d worked to re-build her life after the divorce?
“I know I may seem like a coward for saying this,” Josie said, taking a sip of her drink. “But I’ve gotten used to playing it safe and I kind of like it. I didn’t go looking for love because I honestly didn’t think I
wanted to find it.”
“But it looks like it found you, so what are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know. I agreed to train D.J., which means we’ll be spending more time together. I guess I’ll just have to allow things to evolve naturally and see where it takes us.”
“About Connor,” Cassidy said, gripping her friend’s hand. “I know you want to be there for him, and I admire you for that, but you still have your own life. Don’t get so caught up in being a caregiver to your ex that you give D.J. no choice but to walk away.”
The thought of D.J. walking away now made Josie’s stomach twist painfully, which led her to believe letting him walk away now may be the safest option. The pain would only intensify the more time they spent together.
Chapter Ten
D.J. showed up at the gym at the appointed time ready for his session, but more importantly, ready to see Josie again. He couldn’t get his impromptu declaration out of his head, or the way she reacted, with that deer-in-the-headlights look that told him she was terrified of what he was feeling for her.
“Hey,” she said, coming out of her office, a towel and bottle of water in each hand. “You ready for me to kick your butt, tough guy?”
At least she seemed to be in a playful mood. That was a good sign, wasn’t it? He had no idea since he was terrible at reading women. Mainly because he’d never taken the time to try to figure one out.
“We’ll see about that.” He wasn’t concerned about the session; he’d had personal trainers in the past, many who had tried, unsuccessfully, to break him. He was tough and stubborn, not an ideal client for the masochistic trainers he usually hired.
“Oh, that sounds like a challenge,” she said, tossing him the water and towel. “I like a challenge.”
“So do I,” he said, smirking. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be wastin’ my time with you.”
She laughed. “You’re an arrogant S.O.B., Stevens. But you’re lucky, ’cause I happen to like that about you.”
He wondered what else she liked about him, but felt too vulnerable to ask. For the first time, he wanted from a woman what most usually wanted from him. Answers about where they stood. Confirmation that she was feeling the same way he was, that he wasn’t wasting his time or risking his heart for no reason because she wanted a future with him.
D.J. watched the male members shift their focus as soon as she made her way into the gym. Many popped their ear buds out to greet her or dragged their eyes away from the TV to follow her movements. Most didn’t even notice he was there, and that was a first. He usually captured attention in most rooms, whether he wanted it or not.
“Okay,” she said, turning to face D.J. “I know you had a preliminary with Gwen earlier, so we should be good to go.”
“Good to go, huh?” He grinned. “I like the sound of that.”
She rolled her eyes. “My time is precious. Try to stay focused. We’re going to warm up on the treadmill.” She gestured to the machine. “Let’s go.”
He obliged, though he hated cardio with a passion. He’d much rather spend his time in the weight room. She took it easy on him the first few minutes, but gradually kept upping the speed and incline until he was running and gasping for breath.
“Nice,” she said, slowing it down so he could get off. “Let’s move on to the machines.”
He preferred free weights, but he knew she was the one running the show. He thought about the fact he’d done this because he wanted to spend more time with her, to deepen their connection, but it was obvious she was all business inside these walls. He’d have to remember to thank Drake for his brilliant idea tomorrow.
She adjusted the weight and told him they were going to do leg presses. “Let’s see how you do with this,” she said. “Then we’ll adjust the weight accordingly.”
He made it through the first few effortlessly before he felt the burn. The last couple were tough, though he refused to grit his teeth or clench his fists.
“That seems about right,” she said, making notes on the clipboard she carried around with her. “Moving on.”
He followed her to the next machine and watched her make the adjustments before he asked, “Can you still grab that bite with me when we leave here?” She’d agreed earlier, but he wasn’t sure if that was for Steve’s benefit or his.
“I shouldn’t,” she said, looking tempted. “Connor’s coming tomorrow. I need to get the guest room set up for him. I’ve been storing some boxes in there. I need to move them out to the garage.”
“I could help you with that. We could stop by the grocery store, grab what we need, and I could barbeque. What do you say?”
“I don’t know.” She tapped the pen against her lips. “This would be date number…?”
He laughed. “What’s it matter? We’re way past date number two, which means we’ve already broken your rule.”
“I know.” She sighed heavily. “I should’ve known I didn’t have a chance of resisting you.”
Buoyed by her words, D.J. slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her body flush against his. Before she could object, he wrapped his other hand around the back of her neck and captured her head for a lingering kiss.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she whispered, looking out of the corner of her eye from one side to the other. “You can’t kiss me like that here.”
“Why not?” In spite of her objections, she hadn’t made any attempt to move out of his arms. In fact, her arms were still around his waist.
He could hear the clang of weights and whirr of machines around them, but he knew all eyes were on them. Not that he was surprised. He was pretty sure they all considered Josie untouchable and his kiss proved it. The only one who would be touching her from now on was him.
“Because this is my place of business,” she hissed. “These are my clients.”
“So?” He knew she was right. It was probably inappropriate for the proprietor to make out with her boyfriend in the middle of the floor, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to do it again. “I’m pretty sure they know you’re not a virgin, Jos.”
She frowned, pressing her palms into his chest. “That doesn’t mean I have to flaunt my sex life in front of them.”
Leaning in, he whispered in her ear, “I just want them to know you’re mine.”
“Sort of like you did with Steve?”
“Exactly.”
“For the record, I’m not impressed by Neanderthal chest thumping. I don’t date my clients, so none of these men are a threat to you.”
He appreciated the reassurance, but felt compelled to add “You went out with that Steve guy, and he’s a client.”
“I explained to you how that happened.” She wrapped the towel around his neck and pressed her lips to his once more. “Even though that was highly inappropriate, I’m the boss, which means I get to call the shots, and you’re not the kind of guy a girl can kiss just once and be satisfied.”
“You make me smile,” he said impulsively, running a hand down her cheek as he stared into her eyes. “You make me laugh. You keep me on my toes, ’cause whenever I think you’re gonna say or do one thing, you do another.” He’d expected her to smack him for kissing her, not kiss him again. “I know you didn’t ask, but those are the reasons I’m fallin’ in love with you.”
He’d never been so open about his feelings with anyone, probably because he’d never felt so strongly, but it felt good to open up to a woman this way. This euphoric feeling of being infatuated with someone was new to him, but he was pretty sure he could get used to it.
She smiled as she captured his hand in hers. “Are those the only reasons?”
Instead of seeming intimidated by his claim as she had earlier, she gave the impression she wanted to hear more and he was only too happy to oblige. “How ’bout I fill you in later? In private?”
“Hmmm, I think I like the sound of that,” she said, closing her eyes as she brushed her cheek against his.
***
/> Josie knew from D.J.’s perspective it probably seemed like she had done a one-eighty since that afternoon, but after her talk with Cassidy, she felt differently. A little more optimistic, a little less cautious.
D.J. was a great guy and she didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity with him because she was afraid of being hurt. Maybe it was time for her to take another chance on love, and maybe he was just the guy to help her shed the bad memories she’d been wearing like colorful bruises.
As promised, he’d helped her move all the boxes to the garage and even helped her strip the bed so she could throw the sheets in the wash before he commandeered her backyard grill.
“Where’d you learn to cook?” she asked, bumping his hip with hers. “Was it to impress a beautiful lady?”
He chuckled. “No, it was mainly for survival. My parents bought this big ass motorhome when I was a teenager. They decided to start tourin’ in the damn thing, which left me at home with my younger brother.”
“How old were you at the time?” she asked, taking a sip of her wine.
He was preparing braised shrimp on skewers with herbed white fish prepared in foil and spinach salad. He claimed the meal was in deference to his killer workout, though Josie was pretty sure he was just indulging her preference for lighter fare.
“I was about nineteen. My brother was seventeen.” He grinned. “According to my parents, old enough to take care of ourselves. I think they just did it to force us to grow up. My mama had been takin’ care of us for too long. I think she was worried we’d never find wives if we didn’t figure out how to take care of ourselves.”
“Sounds like a smart woman.”
“She is. I’d love for you to meet them,” he said, peeling the foil open so he could peek inside.
The aroma that filled the air was mouth-watering, making Josie’s stomach rumble in response. “It feels like it might be a bit too soon to meet the fam,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t be offended. It’s not that she didn’t want to meet his family, she just wanted to take her time getting to know him first. “But maybe someday.”
Jaded (Music City Moguls Book 5) Page 11