“I’d like to hear the answer to that question myself.” He didn’t know why he was torturing himself this way. Josie was obviously a beautiful, sexy woman who attracted a lot of interest from the opposite sex. He knew he would have to learn to live with that if he wanted to be a part of her life.
“There were a few,” she said, practically squirming in her seat as she reached for her drink.
“Yeah, a few every week,” Nettie said. “Since she doesn’t do second dates, which I’m sure she told you when y’all met, that means it was a never-ending, revolving door of men in and out of her life.”
“You were the ones who encouraged me to go on all those dates,” Josie said, sounding frustrated. “Half the time I didn’t even want to! You talked me into it. You said those guys were so sexy, so gorgeous, so rich, so smart, so successful…” She blew out a breath. “That I’d be crazy not to go out with them. So don’t make it sound like I was fickle. I wasn’t. I knew what I wanted: to be single, but you guys couldn’t accept that. You thought I needed a man in my life to be happy. Well I didn’t. And I don’t!” She stood, reaching in to her purse. Tossing a few bills on the table, she said, “I’m leaving.”
“Josie, wait,” they called after her in unison. “We didn’t mean to piss you off. Come back here.”
“It’s okay,” D.J. said, jumping to his feet. “I’ll go after her. I’ve got a running tab at the bar. Drinks are on me. It was nice to meet you, ladies.”
“You too,” they called after him. “Thanks for the drinks, D.J. We had a great time tonight!”
Josie was already getting into a cab by the time he reached the curb. He grabbed her arm. “We need to talk.”
“I’m tired. I just want to go home and go to sleep.”
D.J. couldn’t allow that. Especially since he knew she wouldn’t be going home to an empty house. “You’re tired?” he asked. “Fine. We’ll go home and go to bed, but my home. Not yours.” He ushered her to a waiting limo parked behind the cab.
“I can’t go home with you. I—”
“I don’t want to hear another word about your houseguest. If he needs medical attention, let him do what the rest of the world does, call 911.” D.J. knew he was being callous, but didn’t care. He had more pressing concerns.
Once they were in the limo, he advised his driver to take them to his place while Josie huddled in the corner glaring at him.
“You don’t have the right to tell me what to do,” she said, crossing her arms. “I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions.”
He knew she was still angry with her friends and taking it out on him. “And you did. You chose me, so if you think I’m going to get upset about all the guys who came before me, I’m not.” As much as it pained him to think about it, he refused to let it show. Josie had a right to a past, just like he did, and he didn’t want to make her feel guilty about it.
“You’re not upset?” she asked, looking wary. “Really?”
He smiled. “Jos, you’re an amazing woman. I’m not stupid. I know there have probably been hundreds of men over the years who’ve tried to take you out. That doesn’t matter now. What does matter is that you’re mine. Right?”
“Right,” she said, extending her hand.
He grabbed it, yanking her into his lap.
“Thank you for understanding,” she said, settling against his chest.
“I do have an issue with something you said back there though,” he said, gliding his lips over her cheek. “You said you don’t need a man in your life. Is that true?”
“I…” She sighed when his lips slowly coasted down her neck. “Don’t know. Need is a strong word. It scares me, the thought of needing someone again.”
He appreciated the fact she was trying to be honest with him and he wanted to show her the same courtesy. “He’s the thing.” He popped the top button of her fitted cotton shirt, kissing the swell of her breast. “I understand how you feel. The thought of putting yourself out there is scary, but I need you to need me.”
“Why?” she asked, closing her eyes as his lips moved back and forth over her breasts.
“Because I need you.”
Her breathing halted as her gaze fused with his. “You need me?”
“I need you.” D.J. repeated. For some reason those words seem to affect her more deeply than telling her he loved her. She appeared mesmerized as he said, “I need to hear your sweet voice when I wake up in the morning.” His finger floated across her cheek as he whispered. “I need to taste your lips every day. I need to feel your body under mine before I can call it a good day. I need to picture your face when I’m making music. You. Make. Me. Happy.”
The look in her eyes told him she was slightly overwhelmed and deeply affected by his words. “I do need you and I’m going to try really hard not to let that scare the hell out of me.”
He chuckled, touched by her candor. He loved that she wasn’t afraid to be honest with him.
It was getting easier. They were learning how to communicate. They were learning to talk it out instead of walking away. They were learning to trust. And D.J. knew things could only get better for them.
Chapter Fourteen
D.J. hated being away from Josie, but he took solace in the fact it was his last day on the road. Tomorrow night they had plans to barbecue at his place and spend the night wrapped in each other’s arms. He couldn’t wait. According to Josie, Connor was responding well to the treatment and she felt more comfortable leaving him alone, which meant he saw more overnight dates in their future.
He wanted to spend as much time as he could with her before he went out on tour. If the past ten days taught him anything, it was that three weeks away from her would be torture.
D.J. was enjoying a few beers with his band at the local watering hole in his hometown when his old high school flame, Carol Mayner, walked in. She sidled up his table, like she’d expected to find him there.
Seeing her again knocked him off balance. He hadn’t seen her since she left one summer vacation and never returned. He hadn’t thought about her in years, but in the blink of an eye all those memories came rushing back.
He’d cared about this girl. A lot. The way only a teenager can. With raging hormones and a feeling of invincibility, they swore they’d always be together. In reality, “always” had only lasted a few months and she’d left him nursing a broken heart.
“D.J.,” she said, reaching for his hand, “it’s so good to see you again.”
He stood, pulling her into his arms. “Damn, girl, you’re the last person I expected to see here.”
She smiled at his band before asking, “Do you think I could steal you away for a few minutes? I’d love to catch up.”
“Sure,” he said, reaching for his beer. He’d seen a few old friends here tonight and he couldn’t deny he was curious about where life had taken the first girl who’d stolen his heart a lifetime ago. “I’ll catch up with you guys later,” he said to his band.
They found a table in the back of the bar, away from the crowds, when he asked, “What’re you drinkin’?”
“I’m fine,” she said, licking her lips. “I don’t need anything to drink.”
She suddenly looked nervous. D.J. hoped it wasn’t because she thought money and fame had changed him. He was still the same guy who used to play football alongside her twin brother.
He reached across the table for her hand, hoping to put her at ease. “Tell me about your life, Carol. What made you come back to Georgia? Last I heard you’d gone to stay with your aunt in Oklahoma.”
He’d shown up on her doorstep and her brother met him before he could knock. It was three days before school was supposed to go back in, and he was sure she would have returned, though he hadn’t heard a word from her since she left.
Dave told him she’d decided to stay on with her aunt for a while. He wasn’t sure when or if she’d be back. He said he was sorry, that he couldn’t give D.J. her number. Their parents were adamant that
she needed a fresh start somewhere else. D.J. suspected it was because her parents feared they were getting too serious. In hindsight, he realized they may have been right. It was probably for the best that she left when she did. If she hadn’t, he may have fallen deeper and he never would have made the move to Nashville to pursue a singing career.
“You want to hear about my life?” She laughed. “I’d much rather hear about yours.” Her eyes were gleaming with pride when she said, “You made it. I knew you would.”
She’d always told him he had an amazing voice, and even if making a living in the music business was a long-shot, he should take a chance on his dream.
“You were one of the first people to encourage me.” He was surprised about how much of his time with Carol had retreated to the far recesses of his memory. But seeing her again brought it all back. This girl had loved him once. And he’d loved her.
“I knew you had something special,” she said wistfully. “An amazing gift. And I’m not just talking about your voice. It’s the songs you write, the way you capture emotions. It’s incredible.”
When their eyes met and held, the years they’d been apart faded away. He saw her soft dark hair curling around her shoulders. There were no subtle traces of gray. Her big, dark eyes were wide and expressive. There were no lines fanning out from the corners. Her skin was flawless. There were no dark circles bearing witness to stress or sleepless nights. He blinked and the years returned. She was thirty-two, not seventeen, and he wasn’t her lover anymore. He was in love with another woman.
He quickly withdrew his hand from hers as he reached for his beer.
“I heard your radio interview today,” she explained. “That’s how I knew you’d be here.”
They’d asked him if he had any plans while he was visiting his hometown and he’d told them he may have to find out whether his favorite spare-ribs were as good as he remembered. Only someone who’d known him as well as Carol would have known where those were served.
“So you came to see me?” He didn’t know how he felt about this bit of news. He had no interest in rekindling anything with Carol. He might have considered a one-night stand for old-times’ sake if not for Josie. But these days he was strictly a one-woman man.
“I had to.” She traced an etching in the old pine tabletop, refusing to look him in the eye. “It was time.”
“Time for what?” he asked, feeling suddenly uneasy.
“Time for you to know the truth, D.J.”
“The truth about what?” A little voice in his head told him not to ask, to get up and walk away before she said something that might force him to stay.
“You remember that summer I went to stay with my aunt?” she asked, having trouble looking him in the eye.
“Of course I do. You didn’t even say good-bye. I always wondered about that. Did I say or do something to piss you off?” He knew he was a fool to be rehashing ancient history, especially since the only thing he wanted to think about these days was a future with Josie, but he couldn’t help being curious. There were some people he would never forget and he counted Carol among that group.
“No,” she said, looking sad as she shook her head. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and licked her dry lips. “No, not at all. You were always so sweet to me. Everyone said you’d break my heart ’cause you were too wild to settle down with just one girl, but I trusted you. I knew you would never hurt me.”
He hadn’t changed all that much since high school. He liked to party and have a good time, but when he found a girl worthy of committing to, like Carol or Josie, he was able to. “Then why did you leave?” He didn’t know if he should press. She obviously had her reasons, but he had to assume she sought him out again for a reason.
“I had to leave. My parents insisted.”
“I don’t understand,” he said, shaking his head as he pushed his beer aside. “You and your parents were always so close. Why would they want—”
“Because I was pregnant.”
D.J felt the beer churning in his stomach as the words fell with the weight of a boulder between them. He’d taken her virginity and he knew it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what that meant. Unless she’d cheated on him, which he doubted, he was the father of her baby.
“Are you tryin’ to tell me…?” He couldn’t even wrap his head around the idea, much less give credence to it with words.
“That you’re a father? Yes. That’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you.”
D.J. dropped his head as he blew out a breath. He knew closing his eyes wouldn’t make this a dream, still he tried. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t be a father. Not now. Not yet. He knew he was chronologically old enough to parent a teen, but it still didn’t seem possible.
“I know this is a shock,” Carol said gently, touching his hand. “I went to stay with my aunt because she and my uncle planned to adopt the baby, but I couldn’t go through with it. Once I had him, I knew I had to keep him.”
“Him?” D.J. looked up. “A boy?”
She smiled. “His name is Dustin. He just turned sixteen and he’s on me about letting him get a car.” Rolling her eyes, she said, “Let’s just say it’s a daily battle.”
He had a son. A name sake. “Do you have a picture of him?”
“Of course.” She whipped out her iPhone and showed him her screensaver.
Dustin was a tall, dark-haired boy with brown eyes and hair, just like his old man. He was wearing a high school football uniform, the same team D.J. used to play for. “What position?”
“Linebacker,” she said, grinning. “The apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree, does it?”
He slid the phone across the table as he swiped a trembling hand over his mouth.
“I know this must be hard to process.” She hesitated, obviously waiting for him to say something, but words alluded him. “I don’t want anything from you.”
“Why? Did you think I’d turn my back when I found out about him? Is that the kind of guy you think I am?” He was angry and he didn’t know why. Maybe because a woman he’d known for a few months more than a decade ago had the power to change the course of his life. Or maybe it was because he didn’t want to be a father yet, or he felt cheated out of the years he should have been a father, or he was scared, or he wondered what this might mean for him and Josie. Or all of the above.
“No.” She clenched her fist, propping it in front of her mouth. “I know you would have taken responsibility, but I didn’t give you a choice. I decided to have the baby. I decided to raise him. I didn’t think it was fair to derail your whole life with an unplanned pregnancy.”
He looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping when he said, “Yeah, but we made that baby. I deserved to have a say.”
“You’re right, you did. But I decided to stay in Oklahoma and let my aunt and uncle help me raise him. They’d always wanted children of their own and couldn’t have them. This was the next best thing for them, I guess.”
“Did it ever occur to you to clue me in?” he asked, clenching his teeth. “Did you ever think about picking up the phone to tell me I had a kid?”
“Of course I thought about it,” she said, adopting a defensive posture with chin raised and shoulders squared. “I thought about it a lot, but I knew if I told you about Dustin, it would have changed the course of your life and I didn’t want that for you.”
“What about him?” D.J demanded. “Did you think about what might be best for him?” He knew he should be grateful to her for putting him first, but she should have put their child first. Dustin deserved to know his father.
“Having a part-time father who lived in another state wouldn’t have been best for him,” she said, meeting his eyes. “You can’t pretend your life as a musician is stable, D.J.”
“That’s no excuse for—”
“I’m not making excuses. I’m telling you why I made the decisions I did. I was thinking about what was best for all three of us
.”
“You were thinking about what was best for you,” he said, seething. “You didn’t want to share him. You wanted him all to yourself. You wanted to raise him however you saw fit without any input from me. Isn’t that true?”
“No.”
He could tell by the way her shoulders slumped as she hung her head, she was lying to him and herself. “You should have told me.”
“Okay,” she said, biting her lip as her eyes shone with tears. “Maybe I should have. I’m sorry, okay?”
“Why now?”
“I’m having trouble with him.” She sighed. “He’s always been a good kid, but lately, he’s fallen in with a bad crowd. His grades are slipping, the coach is threatening to cut him from the team, he’s been defiant at home, and I’m afraid he may be doing drugs.”
D.J. rubbed his face with his hands, unable to believe what he was hearing. An hour ago his biggest concern had been what he would cook for his special dinner with Josie the following night. Now he was the parent of a rebellious teen.
“I think he may be acting out because he’s angry with me.”
“For what?”
“Because I haven’t told him much about you. It was easy to avoid his questions when he was younger, but now, he’s more persistent. He wants to know who you are, why you haven’t been a part of his life. I just can’t continue stonewalling him.”
“Nor should you.” He considered his options before saying, “I want to meet my son, Carol. Tomorrow.”
***
Josie woke up the following morning to the cell phone buzzing before her alarm went off. She smiled as soon as she saw the caller’s name. “Hey, baby. You home already?” She couldn’t wait to see D.J. She’d missed him more than she thought possible the past ten days. “If you are, you can come over now. I don’t have to be at work until—”
“I’m not in Nashville, Josie. That’s the reason I’m callin’. Looks like I’m gonna be in Macon for a few more days, at least.”
“What?” She sat up, trying to hide her disappointment. “Why?”
Jaded (Music City Moguls Book 5) Page 16