One hand was suddenly cupping my neck, tilting my head back, and I had no idea how it had gotten there. I gasped a little as he squeezed my ass, pressing my hips forward against his, and he took that opportunity to all but devour me.
So much had happened over the past twenty-four hours, and even though I was still reeling, I threw myself into this moment. It was mine. It was dizzying and delirious, the world falling away and the air filling with stars. Xander, the anchor and the catalyst of this blaze of heat and melting bliss. He was mine, and I might have growled as I kissed him back harder, causing him to smile.
Little sensations stood out in my mind. The soft groan Xander emitted when I bit his lip gently, the spark of fire up my spine when his rough stubble scraped against my jaw, and the scent of him, filling my nose. I couldn’t have enough.
I gripped the lapels of his jacket, and his arms wrapped around my back again, two heavy and reassuring weights. We kissed until we had to come up for air, and I blinked, realizing that it was well into dusk. I blinked again, seeing actual stars filling the woods around us. Then I laughed, realizing they were fireflies.
I’d never been much of a romantic, but this would’ve made any heart flutter.
Only reality came crashing down, too. I was disconcerted to find Xander’s grip tightening on me, already prepared not to let me run. A wild blush spread up my cheeks, and I couldn’t even look at him. I’d thrown myself at him, kissing him like a starving woman.
Xander moved in closer, tucking my head against his chest and putting his lips at my ear. “That’s not how I pictured this going,” Xander said in a rough voice, and I trembled all over. Then the bastard tugged my head to the side to kiss my neck, and I let out a soft moan. I felt his smile as he continued down and then rested his head on my shoulder, arms around my waist. “I should’ve known, though, with the dreams I’ve been having.”
“What?” I squeaked.
Xander chuckled and then sobered, lifting his head. His gaze searched mine, and his grip tightened. “None of this means I’m still not royally pissed off at you, Tiani.”
“I mean,” I said in a small voice, “that’s what I expected. Not the kiss.” I bit my lip, dropping and raising my eyes. “Can’t take it back now, though.”
“Don’t you dare flirt with me,” Xander growled, his jaw tight but his eyes filled with a mischievous light that was immediately quenched by worry. “You stole my jacket.”
“I did.”
“I’m kidding,” he said quickly. “Are you all right? You don’t seem injured. But…” His big hand cupped my face, and I never wanted this moment to end. “Tiani, I know something happened.”
“I’m not…I’m…”
I’m fine. I tried to say the words, but nothing except a sharp, pained breath escaped me. Say you’re fine. He’s worried. He can’t know. Pretend. Pretend one more time.
“Tiani.”
Xander’s voice was warm and soft, filled with an understanding I wanted to hate. Instead, it cracked open the fragile layer I’d thrown over the broken mess inside my chest. Turning my face, I tried to school my expression, but a tear slipped free. He caught my face, and I saw his expression. Concern and compassion, his thumb sweeping up my cheek.
“Please don’t hate me,” I said in a broken voice. “I-I didn’t mean…I’m so sorry.” I gripped his jacket and pressed my face into his chest. “Oh, Xander, I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t hate you,” he murmured. “I just can’t let you go.”
A sob escaped me. The tumult of about-face emotions had me spinning. But Xander took it in stride, rubbing my back and laying a hand on my head, his big fingers massaging my scalp. Bending his head, he whispered reassurances and sweet things to me, but that made things worse. He let me blubber on him for who knows how long, until I was spent and oddly lighter.
Despite my tear-strewn face and the fact that I was probably as red as a tomato, Xander still took my face and kissed me again. Then he kissed the tip of my nose and my forehead, and pulled me close, kissing the top of my head.
“You need to come home,” he said. “Let your family take care of you. Everyone’s worried sick.”
I love him, I thought helplessly as I clung to him and nodded. I am so in love with him it hurts.
Xander pulled back and gave me a crooked grin. “You didn’t cry because I kiss so well, right?”
Laughing, I gave him a playful slap. “That wouldn’t make me cry, you idiot.”
With a sigh, Xander reluctantly stepped back and squeezed my hands. “I don’t want to pressure you—but I do need to know what happened.”
My eyes went wide, and I clapped a hand over my mouth. Brody.
“Uh.” I let out a nervous, high-pitched laugh that sounded very strange, and Xander raised an eyebrow. “You’re not going to believe what happened.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Xander
Tiani led me back to where she’d left her bag and companions, the latter of whom she was being oddly cryptic about. In fact, she was almost quivering with suppressed excitement. I raised an internal eyebrow at that but kept quiet. She’d been through a lot, and while I preferred the scattered mess to pretense, I also knew she wanted to hold herself together for me.
Yet I could still taste a bit of the saltiness of her skin and tears.
Before, I'd only had glimpses of Tiani's vulnerability, and it had roused a dragon-sized instinct of protectiveness. Now that I’d seen her heart laid bare, had held her up so she wouldn’t fall and brought her some comfort, a bone-deep possessiveness had been woken up.
Mine, I thought, and my arm tightened around her. Mine to hold, have, and keep.
And, at the same time, hopelessly and fervently hers.
I’d been unsure how I’d react when I saw Tiani again. If I saw her again.
It was hard to believe that yesterday afternoon, I'd stood on a hill in Winfyre, read her letter, and sensed her pain. For the hundredth time, I cast a concerned eye over her. While she seemed out of sorts and tired, I could see no physical injury. Instead of reassuring me, though, the unease in my chest increased. My instincts told me that meant the wound was somewhere deeper and far more dangerous.
If only I hadn’t been such a damned, prideful fool and read her letter sooner. I thought back to when Lor, Tristan, and Kal had converged on that hill. None of them had said as much outright, but their actions and expressions had left little to the imagination about our unspoken, shared question.
What did that monster do to her? What is he planning?
Turning my face away from her, I scowled as I thought of what I’d do when I got a hold of him. Breaking every bone in his body wasn’t good enough for the likes of him. Not a monster who could survive passing through the Rift. I wasn’t sure how much time passed, but Tiani stopped, and a hand suddenly slid across my stomach. I sucked in a breath, looking down, and she smiled up at me.
“I’m okay.” Her eyes had a glow I’d never seen before. “You found me.” She turned to me and hugged me, resting her head on the center of my chest. “Everything is going to be all right.”
“I—” I sensed movement out of the corner of my eye, and I whipped my head up, staring into the gloom. Two burning blue eyes met mine, and a handsome wolf stepped from the shadows. “Lazu. What are you doing here?”
“Of course you two have met,” Tiani said cheerfully and turned around. “Where’s your brother and—” She abruptly fell silent, frowning, then burst out with, “What?” Her gaze shot to me and back to the wolf. Shoulders drooping, she shuffled forward and murmured something that sounded like, No time like the present, don’t you think?
“What are you two talking about?”
Tiani didn’t answer at first, as she was staring at the wolf with an intense look of concentration or consternation. Finally, she blew out a sigh and rubbed her hands over her eyes. “Fine.” She turned back to me. “Apparently, Ayani, Lazu, and their friend are going to check out a disturbance up nor
th. They were my…uh…wolfy cohort taking me back to Winfyre. But now that you’re here…”
Will you take her back, young dragon? Lazu asked politely. I raised an eyebrow. My apologies. All will become clear in time. There were things Tiani needed to know.
“And not me?”
Not yet.
“Okay,” I said, and Tiani gave me a surprised look. “After six years, I’m used to the cryptic hints and lack of explanations. They’ve never steered us wrong.” I looked the wolf in the eye. “Thank you for taking care of her. I’m always in your debt.”
Tiani scowled. “I can thank him myself, dragon-boy.”
A grin lifted my cheeks, and a laugh escaped me for the first time in days. “I missed you, too.”
Tiani was about to say something, but the wolf distracted her, and she glanced back at him, frowning as she listened. Finally, she nodded, and the wolf bid us a soft goodbye and darted off north. I lifted my eyes to the distant peaks of the Farthing Crest, the northern edge of the plateau.
“Do you think wolf guardians get second-hand embarrassment?” Tiani asked.
“Huh?” I asked and looked at her.
Big eyes met mine. “What next?”
My hand lifted automatically, reaching and finding hers. “Home.”
“Almost there,” I said and glanced back at Tiani, frowning a little.
Something was definitely off with her; the usual buoyancy and easy grace were missing from her steps. Even her shoulders had an unfamiliar slant. Nor had she told me what had happened, asking if we could wait. I thought she’d bring it up, but she hadn’t, though we’d been walking for nearly four hours.
At first, I’d been too focused on the intense relief and joy I felt at having her back, but now that we were within a few miles of Winfyre, concern was outpacing that. As well as intense nerves, the likes of which I’d never had before.
Sure, we’d kissed, but how the hell did I bring up the whole mate thing? Worse, what if I was wrong? Was it better to be patient?
“What?”
“Huh?” I realized I’d been staring at her with all of my defenses down.
Tiani stepped over with those quick, sharp steps of hers like a dancer, suddenly more like herself. Her hands caught my face, and she stared right back up at me, a flicker of fear darting in and out of her eyes. Gripping her wrists, I braced myself.
“You can tell me,” Tiani said.
I blinked rapidly. That hadn't been what I'd been expecting, and it took me a moment to gather my wits.
Her nervousness increased in that brief moment, and she was off and rambling. “If there’s something about Winfyre and the predator’s price or the Alphas…” Snatching her hands back, Tiani began to pace around and smooth her hands down her thighs. “I mean, I get it—I’m a traitor on paper, right? Probably not good for the dragon-in-chief to be seen with an outlaw—”
I cut in front of her and pulled her against me, my lips meeting hers again. It was a soft, deep kiss, with the mind-spinning effect that I was being both pulled out of myself and made whole. I had to grip her shoulders to steady myself when I pulled away.
“If I’d known before you could kiss like that…” Tiani murmured and did a dangerously alluring sweep of her fingers under my lower lip, her own eyes indicating that gravity had taken a coffee break for her, too. “I would’ve kissed you that morning.”
“Which morning?” I asked.
“Any morning,” Tiani said, and her hand pressed against my cheek. “Is everything okay?”
“No,” I said, and she jerked back. This time, I held her face and took a deep breath, rushing to think of something to say. “I’m worried about you.”
“That was that look?” she asked, and her voice took on a strange quality. Only when she swallowed and looked away, eyes bright, did I realize she was fighting back tears. “I don’t deserve you. I’ve done nothing but hurt and—”
“Tiani,” I said roughly and turned her face back to mine. “I’m not blameless, either. Far from it. And I know, mate or not, the distance I tried to put between us was selfish and wrong.”
“Mate?” Tiani asked, and now a tear did roll free. “You think we’re still…?
“What do you mean, still?”
“I can’t…I mean, I could for a moment…” Tiani’s voice was shaking, and tears spilled free. “Our bond.” A sharp pain shot through my chest. “But then it was gone. You were gone. I mean, I didn’t even—” She took a deep breath and tried to collect herself. “But can you still sense…?” Something in my face must have betrayed me before I could form an answer. “You can’t?”
“I’m not sure,” I admitted, not wanting to make her cry more. “I mean, I knew where to find you. But it comes and goes, almost like an echo.”
Far more fragile than my other connections.
“Dammit,” Tiani said and swiped at her face. “Dammit, Xander, you shouldn’t—”
“Stop,” I said and gripped her harder. “Tiani, please. Talk to me. Stop holding everything in and…” I trailed off as the irony hit me and rushed to say, “Let me help you.”
Tiani let out a weak chuckle. “Annoying, isn’t it?”
“This isn’t about me,” I growled and gave her a gentle shake. “It’s about you. My-my mate.”
An adorable flush lifted into Tiani’s tearstained cheeks, and she gave me a small, shy smile that skewered my heart. If I hadn’t already been—come hell or high water—in love with this woman, that smile would’ve finished me.
"You have to promise me you won't blame yourself," Tiani said. "I don't want you feeling bad about this—I already do."
“I—” A distant noise distracted me, and my instincts flared. “Dammit.”
“What is it?” she asked and gripped my biceps in a way that sent a rush of blood to the last place I should be thinking about. “Skrors? Bloodfang?”
“No, an Excris,” I said. “Hunting. We’re a few miles out.” Tipping my face up to the moonlit sky, I gave Tiani a measured look. “How do you feel about flying?”
Wiping hastily at her face, Tiani’s eyes lit up, and she gave me a real smile. “Seriously?”
“It’s dark enough,” I said. “And you already know.” I hesitated and casually slid my fingers around to find her pulse point. It was a bit more rapid than usual. “You won’t be afraid, right?”
“Of flying?” Tiani asked and shook her head, biting her lip. Then her eyes tracked down to my fingers. “Or of you?” My heart rate jumped, and I went to pull away, but she caught my hand. “The only thing I’m afraid of when it comes to you, Xander Bane, is whether you’re getting enough sleep and remembering to eat.”
“You ran,” I blurted out.
She tilted her head at me. “You mean when I got caught sneaking into Winfyre by you?” Her eyes crinkled up. “What was I supposed to do? Ask to hitch a ride to find Iris?”
“I’m just saying I would understand,” I muttered, hating that I was having this conversation when there was an Excris less than a mile away. Tiani and I were all over the place right now. What we needed to do was get somewhere safe behind Winfyre’s borders and then talk. “I’m a damn dragon.” Rubbing the back of my neck, I tried to laugh. “If you were scared, I wouldn’t blame you—”
“I’m not,” Tiani said. “If I were scared of you, I’d have to be scared of me, too.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Tiani
Shock, confusion, bewilderment, and happiness chased across Xander’s handsome face. Then he went still, his face tense with control, but his eyes burning with the conflagration of his inner turmoil. A surge of affection went through me. Xander was trying to control his reaction so as not to hurt me or say the wrong thing.
No wonder I was such a scattered, blubbering mess around him.
Nervous and flippant, taking advantage of the nearing Excris, I added, “Or at least, I would’ve been, before two days ago.” I paused. “I actually never got to fly.”
“You’
re a dragon shifter?” Xander asked in a hoarse voice.
“I was,” I said, and my throat went tight.
Xander said nothing, patiently waiting for me to continue, and a thrill rushed over me. I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to cry on him, and I also wanted to run away. But only because I knew he would chase me. His grip tightening on mine said as much.
This is what it’s like to have a family. A partner. A mate.
I hadn’t lost everything after all.
His patience began to thin, the corners of his mouth tucked deeper, and all while he continued to look at me. I’d never had anyone look at me with such a depth of wonder, affection, and protectiveness. I hoped my gaze mirrored his. I hoped he knew how much he meant to me.
For a moment, I think both of us forgot there were Excris hunting nearby. Then a creak came from the forest behind us, and Xander’s eyes leaped with storms and fire. I almost smiled, aware that if someone interrupted us, Xander was going to tear them apart.
“I didn’t know how to tell you,” I said in a rush.
“It doesn’t matter. It changes nothing.”
Now I was confused. “It has to matter, and I think it changes everything…”
Xander captured my hand between both of his and then brought it to his chest, pressing it against his thundering heart. “No, it changes nothing. You’re still my mate.” His words were slow and thrummed up my spine. “And I’m in love with you.”
“Xander—” I half-gasped, half-choked out before he obliterated me with another one of those kisses that had me somehow floating and melting at the same time. “I—”
She does live.
The whisper in the air cut off my words, and the shadow seemed to deepen around us. Xander stood straighter, casting a glance over his shoulder, and I saw the hard-assed Alpha of the Northbane emerge with a curl of his lip.
Of course Xander and I would get interrupted by goddamn demons at this exact moment.
“Stay here a moment, please,” he said.
Dragon's Oath (Northbane Shifters Book 5) Page 24