by Rosie Clarke
‘Jenni, I’m glad,’ Sally said. ‘Tom loves you and he won’t forget you – whatever his father says.’
Jenni nodded. ‘Henry was civil when we parted. He told me he was sorry I was unhappy, but he has no time for sentimentality – and he says he will not try to divorce me unless we both wish it in a few years. He told me to keep the shares and the loan and says that if I come to my senses, I am welcome to return to his house.’
‘I know it hurts – but perhaps you just have to accept that it’s his way and let go, love.’ Sally bit her lip as she saw the tears Jenni was holding back.
‘Yes, I know.’ Jenni smiled. ‘I’ll get over it – but it will take time. I’m lucky. I have my family and I’ll survive.’
33
That evening, Marion was busy telling Sarah and Kathy how well Mrs Harper’s sale had gone and how much they’d contributed to the fund for the wounded when the door opened and someone walked in.
‘Dan!’ Sarah gave a scream of delight and got up, almost knocking Dickon over in her rush to get to her husband. ‘Oh, Dan, you are home – we’ve been so worried…’ Sarah sobbed against his shoulder. ‘I was so afraid that you might have been killed.’
‘Didn’t you get my letter from Gibraltar?’ he asked with a frown. ‘I got one from you and one from Marion telling me you were here and I wrote immediately to tell you I would be home soon…’
‘The last letter we got was at least six weeks old,’ Marion told him. ‘Lily – she was one of the kitchen maids at Sarah’s home – told us no more came in the time she was there, but she has left now and she’s starting at Harpers in the café next week. She comes to tea on her day off, doesn’t she, Sarah?’ She smiled at her brother and his wife. ‘We’ve been a bit anxious since the last letter though…’
‘I was in hospital in Gib for some weeks,’ he told them. ‘I was wounded in the last run to… well, a friendly port, is all I can tell you, and the doctor put me ashore in Gibraltar to recover. I had to wait until a ship could pick me, and a few others, up.’
‘Wounded?’ Sarah looked at him fearfully. ‘Where – does it hurt?’ Her eyes went over him anxiously, looking for some terrible injury.
Dan smiled at her. ‘It was just a bit of metal in my leg, damned painful for a while and they had to dig it out of me, but not life-threatening. We were attacked by a destroyer, but our Navy boys soon sent them packing. Unfortunately, six of us had deep wounds and needed to be put ashore at the nearest port.’
‘As long as you are better now,’ Marion said and smiled at him before changing the subject. ‘You’ve got a beautiful daughter who is nearly six weeks old – are you going to congratulate your clever wife?’
‘And Marion looked after me for two weeks,’ Sarah said. ‘She sacrificed her holiday to stay home and care for us.’ He nodded to his sister appreciatively and then his eyes returned to her, dwelling on her affectionately.
‘A daughter…’ Dan’s eyes narrowed as he looked at the woman he loved. ‘I wasn’t sure and I was afraid to ask if everything was all right… Where is she?’
‘Take him upstairs and show him, Sarah,’ Marion said and shook her head at Kathy, who was trying to attract Dan’s attention. She smiled as the pair went off hand-in-hand. ‘You can talk to him later, Kathy – they need a little time together.’
‘I was only going to say welcome home.’ Kathy looked a bit sulky.
‘I know, love, but Sarah needs him to herself for a moment.’
‘Tell Dan I’ll see him in the morning. I’m off out,’ Dickon announced.
‘Don’t be late home, love,’ Marion said. ‘Have a good time with your friends.’
‘I shall. I’m in the darts team,’ Dickon said proudly. ‘That’s why I have to practise every night. I’ll bring you a packet of pork scratchings back if yer like, Kathy.’
‘Thanks, Dick,’ she said and smiled at him. ‘I’ll make your cheese and pickle sandwiches fer the morning if yer want?’
Dickon went out and Marion looked at Kathy. ‘I’m sorry if I stopped you saying hello to your brother, Kathy. I don’t mean to get on to you.’
‘It’s all right,’ she said and shrugged. ‘Sarah needs his attention more than I do. I’m going to start knitting a new dress for the baby. Sarah bought some lovely two-ply wool and I’ve got a pretty lacy pattern.’ She sat on the sofa by the window and took out her knitting bag, frowning over the pattern she’d borrowed from Mrs Jackson. It looked intricate and, Marion thought, would take ages, which would please Kathy, because she liked doing fiddly things. Marion preferred one-row-pearl, one-row-plain patterns, quick and easy to finish, but there was no doubt that what Kathy did was lovely.
Because everything was clean and tidy, Marion decided she would write to Reggie and to Maggie Gibbs. Maggie would love to know about all the excitement at Harpers. It would bring back memories of her time there and perhaps make things a little easier for her. She’d also got some sweets, a new hair comb and some silk stockings for her friend. It was the sort of thing the nurses needed but wouldn’t find easy to buy out there and Marion sent her something every three months. She sent Reggie a little parcel every month, but that was as much as she could afford from her wage, and she could only do that because Sarah had contributed towards the housekeeping.
Marion hoped Dan wouldn’t want his own house just yet. She’d got used to having Sarah here and it certainly made things easier for her.
‘Are you sure you’re happy here?’ Dan asked as he looked down at his daughter sleeping peacefully in her cot. She was beautiful and he wanted to pick her up but was frightened of waking her. ‘I can find a house nearby if you’d like?’
‘Not until you’re home for good,’ Sarah told him with a smile. ‘I like living with Marion and the others. It is comfortable and it makes things easier for all of us. When you come home at the end of the war, we’ll find a new home for us and our little Marion.’
‘It was nice of you to name her after my sister, but it may be confusing.’
‘We call her little Marion,’ Sarah said.
‘Why not call her Pam?’ he suggested. ‘It’s a nice name and you can’t call her little forever.’
‘Perhaps – but I don’t want to upset Marion.’
‘She won’t care,’ Dan said. ‘Think about it, love, that’s all.’
Sarah nodded, content that he was here with his arms about her and all was right with her world. ‘Is your leg really better?’
‘Yes, it is – they wouldn’t have let me come home if it wasn’t,’ Dan said. ‘I’ve got three weeks leave now and then I report for duty again.’
‘That’s wonderful,’ Sarah said, sighing with contentment. She was so happy to have him home, looking strong and sun-tanned despite his wound. In a way she was glad she hadn’t known he’d been wounded because she would have been terrified of losing him, and yet the shadow still lingered just behind her shoulder, as it did for most women in Britain, France and all the other nations fighting this war. Dan was here now, but next time he might be killed… yet she couldn’t let herself think that way or she would go mad. She had to keep the faith and believe he would return to her when the war was over. She looked up at him, searching his face. ‘Do you think the war will soon be over, Dan?’
‘I wish I could tell you it would, but I don’t see any end to it yet,’ he told her truthfully. ‘As fast as we beat the Germans and sink one of their ships, they seem to produce another. They’re an efficient nation in many ways, but, with our allies, we just have to out-think them.’
‘How can we when our government seem at odds half the time and things are always breaking down and going wrong – how can we beat an efficient nation like the Germans?’
‘I don’t know, but we’ve got some clever fellows on our side.’ Dan sighed. ‘We could do with some heavyweight help from the Americans. They are helping us in various ways, but they have a lot of ships and if they go to war with the Germans, it should make it easier. At the moment, th
e Germans have more of everything than we do…’
Sarah nodded. The papers said things like that, but it was different hearing it from her husband. ‘Can we win? Or will they squash us too?’
‘We’ll win,’ Dan said, his jaw jutting in determination. ‘No matter how hard it is along the way, we British are too damned stubborn to give in. The Russians are pretty dogged, too. The Kaiser tried to make a separate peace with them earlier this month, but they rejected the offer – thank God!’
‘Yes, we are a stubborn nation and the Russians have ties to our royal family,’ Sarah said. Before the war, there had been lots of pictures in the newspapers of the Czar’s family visiting with the British King and Queen, sitting in glorious gardens and by the river. ‘My father always said so.’
Dan nodded, looking at her oddly. ‘Are you upset over your father?’
‘At first,’ she admitted.
‘I’m sorry he threw you out because of me…’
‘I’m not.’ Sarah smiled at him. ‘For years I thought he loved me, so I tried to be the perfect daughter he wanted, but now I know all he wants is a puppet – a little doll he can dress in pretty things who will do what he says when he turns the key.’
‘He is a fool if he thinks you’re an automaton,’ Dan said and laughed, kissing her softly. ‘You’re a beautiful loving woman and he doesn’t know what he has lost.’
‘I love you so much, Dan,’ Sarah said. She went into his arms, kissing him passionately. Meanwhile, little Marion had woken up and was staring up at them with big blue eyes.
‘She’s awake now,’ Sarah said, smiling at her baby. ‘Pick her up, Dan, hold her.’
‘Can I really? She won’t break…’
Sarah laughed. ‘I know. I was almost afraid to touch her at the start, but Marion showed me how. She’s had plenty of experience with Milly.’ She smiled at him. ‘Your sister has been so good to me, Dan. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her.’
‘You’d have managed,’ he said, bending to lift his daughter gently from her cot. ‘But I’m glad you were here and I’m glad Marion looked after you – I know you’re all right with her, my love.’
Sarah smiled, watching as he gently cradled his child. The look of wonder in his eyes was something to behold and it made her want to weep with happiness. She blocked her tears because Dan wouldn’t understand; he would think she was sad when her heart was overflowing with joy. For the next three weeks she had all that anyone could desire.
Marion escaped to work the next morning with a sense of relief. She was happy to see her brother home, but it was a little awkward with all of them in the house. In her room, she’d been able to hear their lovemaking the previous night and it had kept her awake for some time. She hoped that Kathy and Dickon couldn’t hear Sarah’s little moaning cries, because they were both too young. It was good that they were so happy together, but it was a little embarrassing and Marion couldn’t quite meet her brother’s eyes when she offered him toast and a cup of tea.
However, her embarrassment was a small price to pay for Sarah’s happiness, so she would put up with it for the three weeks Dan was with them. It had made her think about her own life and what it would be like to be married to Reggie. If being in bed together could be as nice as it sounded with Sarah and Dan laughing and making happy noises, she thought she might like to get married sooner rather than later. Her only previous experience was her mother’s crying and screaming. Marion had known that wasn’t as it should be, but until now she hadn’t been sure it would be wonderful, but seeing the sparkle in Dan and Sarah’s eyes as they looked at each other made her more impatient for Reggie to come home on leave.
She wasn’t sure how long he would have to serve out there – she thought he was in France but didn’t know for certain, because he wasn’t allowed to tell her – but he’d mentioned Maggie and she knew where her friend was because they’d arranged a sort of code. Would they give him leave after six months, a year – or would it be longer? Marion felt an ache inside and wished he would come walking in like Dan had the previous night. It was a bit different for the men at sea, because they returned to port with cargoes every few weeks or months and often had a short leave before returning to their ship. Dan had longer this time, because he was recovering from a wound. It was unlikely that Reggie would be home soon, unless he was wounded and Marion did not wish for that – she would rather keep on waiting than see him hurt.
She smothered a sigh and got on with her work. Mrs Burrows was looking a little tired, she thought, and wondered if she dared to ask what was wrong with her.
34
Beth had got up feeling unwell. She’d been sick before breakfast and couldn’t fancy more than a piece of toast and marmalade, even though she cooked scrambled eggs for Fred and Jack.
‘Anything wrong, love?’ Jack had asked before she left for work. She’d shaken her head, because whatever was upsetting her tummy wasn’t important. She wanted him to see her smile as she kissed him, because he would be gone when she and Fred got home from work. She’d had a day off to be with him, but this leave was a short one. Jack’s ship had been unloaded and cleaned and they were off again that evening, off with the tide.
‘No, I’m fine, love,’ she’d told him, touching his cheek with her fingertips. ‘I love you so much – take care, won’t you?’
‘We do what we have to do, Beth,’ Jack had replied without smiling. He hated her to talk of such things since Tim died. It had brought the dangers home to them all and Jack refused to speak or think about the risks he was taking every day of his life. ‘I love you and I’ll be home when I can – just get on with your life and enjoy what you can.’
‘Yes, I shall,’ Beth had said. ‘I wrote to Maggie and sent her some things, like you said I should.’
‘You have to accept her decision, Beth, for your own sake,’ Jack had replied and for a moment she saw the grief in his eyes. ‘Staying out there is Maggie’s way of coping – we all have our own.’
Jack’s way was to block it out. Beth and Fred didn’t talk about ships going down or pilots being lost or the Army’s reverses in Jack’s presence. He didn’t want to know and Fred respected his son’s decision. He still read every single report of the troops’ movement in the papers and she thought he kept a chart in his room, but he no longer had it up on the wall.
Beth had resisted talking to Fred about Jack’s behaviour, but perhaps she would once he’d gone back to sea. It worried her that he’d shut it all so completely out of his mind, but she knew better than to say anything to him. When she’d been angry with Maggie, she hadn’t wanted well-meant words of advice and nor would Jack. Beth and Fred visited Tim’s grave regularly to take flowers, but she wasn’t sure if Jack had been and she hadn’t asked. Eventually, he would come to terms with his brother’s death and until then she had to let him make his own way.
Beth saw Marion Kaye looking pensive as she served her customers. After they’d gone, she tidied her counter and checked her stock book, but it was plain to see that something was bothering her.
Making up her mind, Beth went over to her. ‘Is there something upsetting you, Miss Kaye? Is there anything I can do to help?’ she asked in a soft voice that wouldn’t carry to the others.
‘No, thank you, Mrs Burrows…’ Marion Kaye sighed and seemed to come to a decision. ‘My brother, Dan, came home yesterday. He had been injured and in hospital in Gibraltar and we were worried, because we hadn’t heard anything, but he’s all right now… It just made me think of my fiancé. It is months since I’ve seen him and I don’t suppose he will get leave for ages…’
‘No, probably not,’ Beth agreed. ‘I’m luckier, because my husband gets a short leave every time his ship docks, or mostly. Occasionally, he has longer, but mostly it is about three days, just for the ship to be cleaned and provisioned – and a bit more if there are repairs.’
‘You must be pleased when he comes home, even if it is just a short time.’
‘Ye
s, I am, but each time it seems harder to part,’ Beth admitted. ‘I think the soldiers serving abroad have the worst deal, because they don’t often get home leave. They get stood down for a few days so they can relax or visit the nearest town or village, but they don’t come back to England unless it is a longer leave, often, before they get sent somewhere else.’
‘I think the Armies in Belgium are pretty static,’ Marion replied. ‘The British and French haven’t had much luck in Gallipoli. From what I read in the papers, the Allies fight lots of battles but don’t make much progress.’
‘Yes, that is how it looks,’ Beth agreed, ‘but my father-in-law says that we’re holding our own and making progress, even though it is slow, and might not seem that way.’
‘Mr Burrows knows a lot about things like that,’ Marion said with a smile. ‘I like him. He’s always pleasant and polite when I see him. Even after his son died, he didn’t change.’
‘No, he doesn’t change, thank goodness,’ Beth murmured, as much to herself as to the younger girl. ‘Well, I’d best get back. Don’t give up on your boyfriend. Before you know it, he’ll come marching down the lane and knock on your door.’
‘Yes, I know.’ Marion smiled. ‘Thank you, Mrs Burrows. You’ve made me feel better.’
Beth nodded and moved away. The feeling was mutual. She’d been a bit down herself, but in doing her job she was cheering herself up. Her work was a welcome distraction, and, after all, Jack was a grown man and he’d been a tower of strength to his father during the funeral and before. If shutting all talk of Tim and the war out now was his defence, then it was his choice.
Returning to her counter as a customer entered the department, Beth realised she didn’t feel sick now. Whatever it had been first thing that morning, it had gone.
It didn’t strike her that she might be pregnant and it was only after she was actually sick for five mornings in a row that she realised she was having another baby.