by Crimson Cole
In this moment I feel genuine love in my heart for his patience and consideration, but I know I want him, and I trust him. I feel a burning need to show this to him. Without answering him, I press my hands into the muscles of his chest, easing enough distance between us so I can lift my dress off.
In my nakedness, the cool night air causes me to shudder, yet it’s so good to feel connected. To open myself up to endless possibilities. Jovan quickly follows my lead and yanks his shorts off. Every pore on my body bristles in nervous anticipation of what may happen next. But I suddenly tense up. I want to feel alive, to make him feel alive. In my awkwardness I don’t know how. I cross my hands over my chest, hiding my breasts from him. Closing myself off to our connection.
“Don’t worry. We can go slow and only do what you want.”
Jovan grabs us a beer and we sit under the moonlight making small talk for a while. My hair topples over my breasts falling at my waist. I keep my arms wrapped tightly around my knees to hide the rest of my body as we share the brew.
He senses my shyness and kisses me softly. I feel the muscles in my shoulders relax as the tension from life drains out of me. He slides his hand up the length of my leg and over to my inner thigh, grazing his fingers back and forth, each time coming closer to the heat between my legs. I wish I wasn't so drunk, but somehow, I’m relieved the alcohol has dulled my senses enough to give me the courage to relax and enjoy the experience. I open my legs, allowing his hand to roam easier.
His touch feels cold against the throbbing heat of my core and I arch my back, flinging my hips upward toward his hand. Greedily, he probes my body, massaging my pelvis and grazing his fingers lightly over my pussy, tracing the outline, until I can’t stand it anymore, and yearn for him to push his fingers inside me.
My hips buck toward his hand, but he pulls them away each time, until I groan in frustration. Jovan gives me a sly smile and kisses my breasts, inching his body slowly down, trailing my ribs and belly with soft kisses.
I stiffen, out of a self-conscious gnawing that he may not find my naked body attractive, but I know he does. I will the negative inner chatter out of my mind and give in to my burning passion and force myself to relax. Take back your power. His words play over and over in my head, until they invigorate me to go with the moment, and control my own life.
Forcefully, I push his head downward, and scoot my butt upward until his face is directly between my legs. His breath quickens into shallow panting and I feel the hot release of air on my thighs and pussy.
“You’re so beautiful.” He reaches under me, squeezing my ass firmly between his fingers, raising me up to meet his mouth as he greedily laps at my wetness. The sensation of his soft tongue against my skin sends me into a frenzy and I forget.
Forget I am damaged.
I move my hips to the motion of his tongue, pressing upward to meet his fingers as they plunge inside my tightness, causing me to gasp and moan uncontrollably. Everything dims and blurs as each stroke of his fingers takes me to a place of total freedom. I thrash my head in abandon as the rhythmic strokes of his tongue take me over the edge.
He raises the full weight of his body over me and thrusts my legs upward close to my chest, and in our drunkenness, we forget the sensible things like protection as he plunges inside me. A sharp pain catches my breath and I cry out softly as his length fills me up.
He reacts to my discomfort and eases up his force as he glides in and out of me slowly. Gently. Waves of pleasure roll over me with each stroke taking me closer to the sweet freedom of release. Ecstasy spills out of me as a waterfall of satisfaction cascade full force through me.
I press the side of my face into the grass and tug at my hair, unable to handle the pulsating pleasure in my core. He grabs my ass, lifting it upward to meet his need, telling me he wants to make me feel good.
And he does.
He kisses my mouth deeply, and I clasp the back of his head, grabbing a fistful of hair as he strokes harder and faster, taking me completely over the precipice of control. Hot mind-numbing pleasure pulsates through me and pushes out of me, curling my toes until one final release makes my entire body feel as if it is levitating. I feel him grow larger inside me as he pants quicker, before letting out a loud groan, and slowing his thrusts down as he collapses on top of me in a violent shiver.
Tears fall freely from my eyes, yet I’m not sad, the overwhelming sensation of our intimate actions have my thighs shaking. Jovan wraps me in his arms and nudges my chin up to meet his gaze. Concern fills his eyes and I fear he think I regret making love with him.
Chapter Six
Relieved, I’ve let my guard down and have experienced the most vulnerable thing I could do with Jovan, and I’ve actually survived it. I wipe my tears away and break into a fit of giggles.
“Was I that bad?” He jokes, and laughs too. He clasps my hand and pulls me to my feet. Reluctantly I run toward the water with him.
I move quickly as I’m suddenly very aware of my nakedness, and splash into the water. We wade deeper in and wash ourselves off, before Jovan hoists me upward and I readily wrap my legs around his waist. I cross my arms over my breasts in an unconscious defense mechanism, and he frowns.
“Don’t do that,” he whispers. “Don’t hide from me. I see you, and you're beautiful.”
We kiss for a long time, before he walks out of the water still holding me. With the frigid air we quickly dress, and he draws me into his arms, hugging me tight.
“All good?” He kisses the top of my head.
“Yeah,” I say, but I’m not sure what I feel. So many emotions are flooding through my brain. “I should get back to the hotel.”
We stare at each other in awkward silence for a few beats.
“Oh, it’s like that huh? Use me then abandon me?” He smiles.
“No,” I laugh, suddenly unsure what to do. “I have an early appointment at the school with the admissions counselor, and don’t want to go all bleary-eyed and hungover. Besides, I’m sure your friends are out looking for you.”
I didn’t want to make this out for more than it was… a chance encounter, and start school under some misguided notion that maybe we can be more.
“Do you need a ride in the morning, or is your dad taking you?” He asks sincerely, tracing his fingers up my arm.
“My dad? Yeah, no he’s not taking me.” My tone is a little more sarcastic than I intend, so I head toward the boat in a futile attempt to ward off his questions. “Come on.” I nudge my head toward the boat. “I’m cold.”
We stumble into the boat and are heading back down the river in silence when Jovan suddenly stops rowing.
“I like you Falcon... a lot.” He fumbles with the seam on his shorts, then glances up at me for a reply.
Well, I certainly hope so since you just had your dick in me.
“Ummm, this is where you say you like me too.” He flashes that million-dollar smile again. “If I can help you in any way…” His voice trails off.
Fuck! I don’t want his pity.
“I’m good, just a little nervous about tomorrow.” I fumble in the cooler for a beer, but they're all gone. “Not sure what to expect.”
“It’s not a big deal,” he pipes up. “They’ll give you the spiel of the gazillion rules. Tell you how fortunate you are to get sponsored and that you must be a good girl.”
Those words ‘be a good girl’ cause my breath to pause, and tiny pin pricks trickle up my arms. My heart races and my hands wrap around the edge of the seat, gripping it tightly.
“Is that all?“ I choke out, my mouth suddenly dry, and I lick my lips, trying to act casual until the panic in my heart subsides.
“Pretty much.” Jovan continues talking, unaware of the panic crushing my chest.
His words run through my brain in a garbled mess, until I yank my hair upward, and impulsively thread it into a braid.
“That’s cute.” He fumbles with my hair, wrapping the braid easily around his hand a few times. “Your hair is so lon
g and beautiful.”
I say nothing hiding the inner turmoil his observation stirs inside me.
He leans forward kissing me on the cheek.
The sensation of his lips on my skin causes me to relax, and I realize his touch is addicting.
“So, they’ll talk a lot of crap of how blessed I am and be sure to hang my sponsorship over my head to make sure I behave,” I say sharply.
“Bout sums it up. You’re a sharp nail, I see.” He pats my leg.
I burst out into laughter and notice my scalp tingling due to the tightness of my braid, so I quickly unthread it, letting my hair tumble over my shoulders falling to my waist.
“Your hair is so pretty.” He pulls the boat up to the shoreline. “We’re back,” he says fidgeting with the orr.
For the first time, I see the nervousness in his emerald eyes, and let my guard down a little more. “So now what? We part ways and you’ll act like you don’t know me at school?” I punch him in the arm to try and lighten up our awkward situation.
Jovan stands in the boat and helps me to my feet, “Don't even joke about that.” He kisses my nose. “But I won’t see you tomorrow… just so you know.”
I try to keep my expression even, but disappointment curls my lips down and I frown, then turn away from him. “Whatever,” I mumble and head off the boat.
“Not whatever.” He grips my shoulder. “They keep the girls and guys separate until the morning of the induction ceremonies for the Honorees. First day is Orientation, then the ceremonies are on the second day.”
I blew out a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to be shitty. I’m just saying it’s cool. I’ll see you when I see you.” I give him a small smile.
We walk down the path toward the hotel, then Jovan snatches my hand up, jerking me to a stop. “One last secret before you go.” His eyes dance with excitement.
“Okay, shoot.” Electricity bristles in the air around us as he grits his teeth together, then pops his lips. “The real reason I won’t see you tomorrow is I have to go to court.” He clamps his lips shut and puffs out his cheeks at his big revelation.
For someone from my side of the tracks, cops and court cases happen on a daily basis, but my eyebrows raise in surprise that Jovan may be mixed up in something. “What’s the big court case? Traffic?” I deadpan sarcastically.
“No, smartass.” The tone in his voice is a little too tight. Jovan abruptly turns from me and walks briskly toward the hotel.
“All right. I’ll bite. What did you do? Rob a bank?” I yell after him wanting to take back my off-color comment.
He slows his pace so I can catch up to him, a clear signal he forgives my callous remark.
“When my dad did this...” he points at his scar, “...I smashed his prized Brandy collection, and the dickhead had me arrested for it,” he says in a huff, “So, yeah, it’s not traffic.”
“I’m sorry, I’m only teasing you. Wow, even my dad wouldn’t have me arrested. Wait… he assaults you and the cops arrest you and not him?”
“That’s what money and power will buy you in Apple Valley. Now I have to kiss his ass and play nice, probably get some screwed up Community Service, cleaning dead animals off the side of the road, before his friend at the DA’s office will magically make the charges disappear from my record.” His words come out in a rush, and he rubs his temples as if he has a headache from it all.
My cheeks flash hot from treating him poorly. “I’ll tell you another secret.” I tickle his sides, trying to lighten his mood.
“Shoot.” He smiles wide enough for his dimples to make me want to kiss him and forget about playing our little game.
“I’ve heard the rumors—”
He cuts me off. “About me?” His face falls flat.
“Ego much? No silly...” I slap his arm lightly. “...about Hell Week, and I’m nervous.”
Jovan lets out a howl of a laugh and grips his sides. “Is that all? Come on.” He leads me back down the path toward the hotel. “You don’t have anything to worry about. I run that shit. You’re safe, Falcon.”
“Really?” I let out a sigh of relief. “Well, thank the gods in heaven that I met you then.”
“It’d help if I knew your name though?” He steals a quick glance at me and winks.
I lower my eyes, “it’s Lana.”
“Pretty. Much better than Sparrow or Falcon,” he teases.
Suddenly life at Apple Valley doesn’t seem so arduous and a sense of peace fills my being.
If only I had known those words were far from the truth, and would come back to haunt me. Because, in the end, Jovan would make my life a living nightmare and I'll wish I’d never met him.
Chapter Seven
My heart pounds in a panic causing a whooshing feeling to surge through my body as I notice I’ve overslept an entire hour and now must rush to make it to the drugstore for the morning-after pill. What the hell were you thinking?
I push the encounter with Jovan out of my mind and jump in the shower trying to convince myself that I haven’t fucked up my life before school even starts. Soap runs down my forehead, stinging my eyes, as I try to scrub the details of drunken sex on the beach from my mind. But I like this guy and really don’t want to forget the details. How can I? When it feels so right. So perfect.
Take back your power.
My new motto. I’ve heard a lot of rumors and cliché stories about the rich kids at Apple Valley Academy, but Jovan shatters all those beliefs… well, at least he did last night. Time will tell if he is trustworthy. For now, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and continue daydreaming about him, because I can't seem to stop, even if I wanted too.
I smooth my bangs down and wrap my long hair into a tight bun, then study my reflection in the mirror.
The girl peering back appears prim and proper, even if the simple sheath dress is from a thrift store. At least it’s quality. Racing around the room, I find the penny loafers I need to look like the best preppy girl wannabe around, and slip my feet into the used shoes. Better to get secondhand stuff of quality, than walk into school looking like I came straight out of the chain-store knock-off section. My head jerks slightly and I wince, squeezing my eyes shut.
Why do you care so much what they think?
“Because you want to blend in,” I say to my reflection and dab on some lip gloss and blush, before applying mascara and smoothing my dress, and rush out the door.
The driver charges me an arm and a leg to wait at the drugstore, then drop me at the school's entrance. I tug my suitcase behind me, praying I stop sweating so much and will be able to survive on the twenty-two dollars I have left in my wallet. I’m sure my dad will send me a couple bucks next week, when he gets paid. But it would’ve been nice to have done the smart thing and used protection. Instead, I wasted forty dollars on the pill I quickly swallowed the minute I hit the washroom in the drugstore.
Now standing at the gates of AVA has me so nervous my bangs stick to my forehead, and any chance of walking through the threshold looking polished or refined has flown out of the window. Taking a deep breath, I amble along the empty grounds to the main building and find the Guidance Counselor’s office.
Sitting on a bench in the office are three other girls clearly from my side of town, and I offer a small shoulder shrug as my suitcase catches on the threshold of the door. A heavy-set girl with blue-framed glasses pops to her feet and yanks the suitcase though for me.
“Hey,” she says as her introduction, and wheels my bag to the corner with the rest of their stuff. “I’m Katie, but my friends call me Blue.” She extends her hand for a formal shake, although the gesture seems stiff and awkward. “You can sit over here by me if you want.” She gestures to the empty seat next to her stuff.
“Thank you.” I slide into the seat scooting her things over. “I’m Lana,” I offer, without much confidence in my voice.
An older woman with short graying hair sits on the other side of her, so I assume it is her mom, but she do
esn't introduce herself and I don't ask. Blue instantly makes me feel at ease with her clunky mannerisms. I’m grateful not to be the only girl here unsure of what the heck to do as I eye the other nervous Honorees.
Everything in the Guidance Counselor’s office is clean and expensive. The thick high-back chair costs more than my entire apartment of furniture, and I ease into the lush comfort relaxing a little. Paisley wallpaper lines the room and my eyes follow the swirls of the pattern as the counselor shuffles through papers. The scent of vanilla wafts through the air, calming my nerves as I hold my breath, waiting for the onslaught of questions.
She glances over at me. “Lana Green,” she states, more to herself than to me. “I’m Dr. Clair, your Guidance Counselor. At Apple Valley Academy we have high standards. Girls should act like young ladies, and their appearance should reflect a conservative mindset.” She shuffles more papers before edging closer to scrutinize me. You're off to a great start.” Her gaze sweeps over me, eyeing my outfit. “Do you have the form from your father?” She asks casually.
“Yes Ma'am.” I fish out the forged document from my folder and hand it to her.
I told my dad he didn’t need to bring me here, but that was a lie, so I’d scribbled his signature on the paperwork to save us both from an embarrassing situation. A twinge of guilt hits my heart and I rake my teeth over my top lip. My father tries, but things are best this way.
To my relief, the counselor has an easy attitude despite her severe look. She accepts the document without question, and tells me where the dorms are and when the Induction Ceremony will be held. My stomach tightens as a knot forms in my throat choking my words out. “Will my sponsor be at the Induction Ceremony?” I ask trying to sound casual, but come off more like a nervous child.
“Don’t worry this is only for students. You’ll get a chance to meet your Shadow Sponsor, beforehand and get settled into the expected routine of AVA.” She pats my hand as if that will make things less stressful for me.
“Shadow Sponsor?” I squeak out, picking my thumbnail with my index finger. A rush of adrenaline hits my chest and races up my neck and face. “Are they related to the sponsor of my scholarship?” I blurt out, trying to assuage the fear racing through my veins.