by Crimson Cole
Either way, there’s no avoiding her as she’s my Shadow, but I don’t want to get involved with a family member of the asshole who has altered my life in such a tragic way.
A twinge of guilt hits me as Meribelle fishes inside her purse and pops a homemade brownie on my tray. “I made this for you... as a proper welcome.”
The girl is nice, thoughtful and hell, just all-around sweet, making all this harder.
“Well, after the ceremony we have a dinner for all the Honorees, boys and girls, to get to know each other, and then school starts the next morning with the entire student body.” She presses her lips together to try and stifle a giggle.
“What?” I muse, a little excited too.
“Then Hell Week begins,” she whispers.
“Yes, the dreaded Hell Week.” I grimace, and make a funny face.
Meribelle rolls her eyes in mock discomfort. “Girls really don’t have to worry too much. It's pledges for the guys who have to do all the humiliating things to gain entry into the boys club… the Savages.”
“Well, thank God for that.” I don’t want to tell her I’ve already met Jovan and he’s said I don’t have to worry.
“Just steer clear of them for the week,” she says, and flicks her head toward April and Jasmine. “...and keep to yourself as much as possible. Sometimes girls get caught up in the mess.”
Something in her words causes an illogical panic inside me, and I do worry. Terror is slowly building in me, coiling in the pit of my stomach. I blink and shake my head.
“Too late,” I admit, nodding toward the girls.
“That’s unfortunate.”
Meribelle’s ominous expression says it all and I read a thousand messages in those two words. Even with Jovan’s help, these girls are trouble, and may have the power to bring me down
“Ugh,” I blurt out. I try to will the fear away as an irrational reaction to all the changes happening to me.
“Stick close to me. We’ll get you through this,” she reassures me.
But what if she’s wrong? And worse yet, I like this girl. Meribelle seems genuine and kind, but getting close to her means opening my life back up to the monster that has destroyed my childhood and taken my mother from me.
Chapter Ten
Meribelle finishes filling me in on the expectations of an Honoree, same old story, only said in a nicer way from her. We say our goodbyes and I wait for Blue in the hallway. As if on cue Jasmine and April come out of the cafeteria and get in my face.
“You can’t hide behind Meribelle and your dyke girlfriend forever.” April swings her purse forward, acting as if she’s going to hit me with it, but she purposely falls short and it lands behind her shoulder.
“Sooner or later you’ll be alone, and we’ll teach your ass your place in this school,” Jasmine hisses. “You’ll see,” she forewarns.
But I don’t back down, “Prissy girls like you trying to act tough don’t scare me, so push on.” I demand, then hold my breath ready for a fight. My hands curl into tight balls. I’ve had it with their bullshit and don’t want to feel intimidated constantly if I don’t stand up for myself.
Blue strides into the hallway and the girls quickly make a wider circle around me, then scurry away. “What? Where’s the fire?” she yells after them, mocking their sudden departure. “More issues?” she asks, wrinkling her nose and twisting her mouth to the left, into a funny face.
“I’m not worried about it.” I scrunch my nose up and plaster a grin on my face. “I’m more interested in your Shadow. Is she nice or what?”
“She’s nice enough, I guess. Didn’t share much about herself. Gave me shit for my shoes and outfit, but other than that she seems okay. How ‘bout yours? She looks cool.” Blue dances down the hallway, her jerky movements make me laugh.
“Girl you’re out there.” I tease.
“Yeah, but you love me,” she asserts, and continues dancing. “Come on, groove with me.” She bops back to me, jerks my hand, and snaps it up and down, prodding me to follow her lead.
After all the tension waiting to meet my Shadow and with Jasmine and April, some lighthearted fun is just what the doctor ordered. I pop my shoulders and wiggle my hips stepping forward in exaggerated steps.
“Get it, girl,” Blue encourages, clapping her hands.
I lose myself in our moment and spill out the door laughing and joking with my new friend, choosing to live in the moment and not worry about mean girls, asshole sponsors, or all the new stuff I’ll face at Apple Valley.
We make in back to the dorm where the other girls are milling about unpacking and chattering away about their Shadows. I’m curious to meet the two girls sponsored by April and Jasmine, and make my way over to them.
“Hi,” I say casually. “I’m Lana and this is Blue. How’d your meetings go?”
The girls act a little standoffish at first, as if they're hesitant to speak to us. The tall thin one with mousy brown hair introduces herself first.
“I’m Gina and this is Abby,” she points to the other girl. The pair make quite a sight with the second girl, Abby standing about a foot shorter than Gina.
“Cool,” I say, pushing my bottom lip out. They both clam up and don’t answer my question about their meetings with April and Jasmine.
“We’re both stoked to get settled into AVA,” Gina says flatly.
“Come on,” Abby tugs Gina’s arm, and her short bob hairstyle sways like a dark pendulum above her shoulders. “We need to get our dinner outfits lined up for tomorrow… what color did they say to wear? Beige?” Abby turns away from me to face Gina.
I can take a hint. April and Jasmine are already talking shit about me, and probably Blue too. These two followers are kissing the mean girls’ asses, hoping it will help them in the long run.
I meander toward my bed, and notice a big bucket propped up on my pillow. I glance back at Gina and Abby as they suddenly act as if they’re busy, but they keep glancing over to see my reaction.
The words, Purge Pal are crudely written in permanent marker on the white bucket. I fling it off my bed and the loud clatter has all the girls turn in my direction, except Gina and Abby. Of course I know April and Jasmine are behind the disgusting prank, but it seems they now have two little henchmen living in my dorm room with me.
Blue swings into action, “which one of you twats put this on her bed?” She demands.
I clutch her arm, “it’s cool. Let it go for now,” I say through clenched teeth, but it’s clear even my dorm room won’t bring me any peace from those bitches. I make a mental note to skip dinner and stay in the dorm for the night.
I’ve taken a long nap, and Blue wakes me, bringing me some chocolate chip cookies, and telling me to cheer up. We sneak a few smokes outside, sharing her headphones as we listen to music. I do everything I can to get my mind off the pressure of Apple Valley, but even behind my forced smiles and stilted laughs, my anxiety makes me want to jump out of my skin.
I take a hot shower and settle into bed chatting away with Blue, but her false bravado fades as she whispers her fears of fitting in, and how much her family needs this chance. Now, more than ever, I'm determined to handle my problems with April and Jasmine without Blue. I’ll never forgive myself if I’m the reason she loses her scholarship, and I make her vow to let me deal with things myself.
Sunlight blazing through the window wakes me earlier than necessary, so I slip into the shower before the other girls awake and start hogging the space. I decide to wear my hair in a loose braid, and apply minimal makeup, then eye myself in the mirror exhaling sharply. The image of myself looking back at me is too nervous, too unsure, so I practice some breathing techniques until Gina comes in the bathroom.
“Feeling insecure?” she asks, but her tone is a little too condescending.
Like you give a shit…
“Nope. Not at all. Super excited for the day to start.” I correct her with the same mocking tone, vowing to never let her see me sweat it. Because if sh
e does, I’m sure she’ll run back and tell the devil’s daughters. “But you look nervous as hell,” I say, in a game of mindfuck with her. “I saw how your Shadow sized you up as we left the lunchroom yesterday, and I'd work on disappointing her less.” I wince at her and nod my head, “I know it’s hard to fit in, honey. Hopefully, you’ll manage it.”
I don’t wait for her reply as I walk out to go wake Blue. The look on her face says it all as self-doubt creeps into her eyes. It shouldn’t feel so good to toy with someone’s mind, but she’s started it first, and I’m not going to let her ruin my day.
A nervous tingling hits my chest as thoughts of seeing Jovan flitter in and out of my mind. Blue’s a complete mess and I try to help her get ready, convince her to try my mascara and lip gloss as I gel her mid-length dark hair back tight against her scalp. She really is a pretty girl, with midnight-blue eyes. “I never noticed how blue your eyes are with your glasses on. I thought you got your nickname from the color of your frames.” I say as I stroke the black mascara on her lashes. “I’m such an idiot.”
She clasps my wrist to stop me. “No, you’re not. Stop saying shit like that,” she scolds me, and offers a faint smile. “You’re a good person Lana and smart too. Don’t let people bring you down.”
I give her a tight hug, allowing her extra weight to envelope me in a soft cocoon of safety. “So are you. Thanks for being my friend.”
Usually I wouldn’t let my guard down, but Blue is different. Honest. Pure. What you see is what you get, and I like that about her—unlike the other two phony girls in our room.
We head out the door for the ceremony and the number of kids milling about the grounds surprises me.
Yesterday, everything seemed so peaceful and quiet outside, but this morning all hell’s broken loose. Several girls chatter away, already dressed in school uniforms. Only the Honorees are in street clothes. I’m sure it’s a subtle way to humiliate us, so we stick out like sore thumbs against the accepted elite of Apple Valley Academy.
Blue is nervously scanning all the people, and I’m surprised at her level of anxiety. “It’ll be okay,” I reassure her, and squeeze her arm. “Try to calm down. You're bobbing around like a crack addict looking for a fix.” I joke.
“No, it’s not that. I’m not nervous. Screw these twatwaffles. I have someone I want you to meet.”
“I know you can’t be this anxious over your Shadow.”
I laugh as she twists her neck, searching for the mystery person. “Okay, I'm intrigued. Who am I meeting?”
“You’ll see.” She holds her breath for a few beats, then yells out, “Tommy!” while waving her arms in the air.
The most handsome boy with blonde hair buzzed short waves back. “Ooh, he’s super cute. Your boyfriend?” I tease.
“God no!” she recoils in horror. “Tommy’s my brother. Come on, I want you to meet him.” She yanks me toward the bleachers.
I reluctantly follow along, scanning all the kids for Jovan as they pour into the stadium building. I’m hoping to sneak a few minutes with him before the ceremony, to see where we stand. I want to take him at face value, but a lot of things are said during drunken encounters that when the sober light of day hits, aren't true.
I spot him talking with two other boys. They’re all dressed in the school colors—black slacks, white button-down shirts, and navy-blue sweaters.
All they need are pipes sticking out of their mouths and wingback chairs, to appear even more stodgy, but Jovan pulls the look off. Even though the school outfit is dated, he looks sexy as hell to me. I stifle the urge to wave like a lovestruck middle schooler, and wait to see if he notices me.
He nudges the shorter boy with brown hair and flicks his head toward me, whispering something to him. The taller guy whips his head in my direction, eyes me up and down, then turns back to Jovan, and all three of them laugh.
Heat flashes up my chest. I will my arms to stay anchored at my sides, and follow Blue over to meet her brother. Glancing over my shoulder, Jovan has an intense stare blazing in his eyes as he watches me talk to another guy. The hardness dissipates around the edges as his gaze softens, and his eyes crinkle at the corners.
He flicks his head upward at me to say hello, and I frown a little, flicking my head back at him in acknowledgement.
So much for a romantic meeting before school…
He punches the bigger friend on the arm in a playful manner, signaling to get moving, and they head over to us.
My palms sweat profusely, and I twist my body, running my hands down the length of my slacks before the group joins us.
Blue’s brother, Tommy’s whole demeanor changes as he straightens his back stiff as a board. “Good morning Jovan,” he says, and nods at the other two boys, sticking his hand out to shake theirs.
“No need for formalities,” Jovan says. “This is Davis.” He points to the shorter, slightly built boy.
“Hey,” Davis says and pushes his chestnut-colored hair out of his eyes.
“I’m Steve,” the tallest of all of them says. His brown eyes lock with mine, then sweep down my body, as if he knows all my dirty secrets.
Jovan pushes him in a playful manner... code for, Stop staring at the girl he scored with last night.
“What?” Steve protests. The sunlight hits Steve’s blond hair, making it shine like a gold halo and he turns his attention to Blue grinning at her.
“This is Lana and Tommy. I’m his sponsor. You must be his sister… right?” Jovan says to Blue.
“Yeah, I’m Blue.” She turns her head to me and lifts her eyebrows, nodding slightly, with downturned lips as if she approves of the guys. She mouths to me, “You know them!” bites her bottom lip, and raises her eyebrows at me in excitement.
“Damn, girl, you should join the football team,” Steve jokes, assessing Blue’s muscles. His tone is light and fun, and she takes it in stride.
“I’ve played a few rounds,” she confesses, and smiles. “Growing up with this one, I needed to be strong to survive.” She points at Tommy whose cheeks turn crimson red.
“Blue!” he chides.
It’s obvious he’s trying to put his best foot forward in front of the Royals, and Blue doesn’t seem to give a shit. She’s always true to herself. She’s deep in football conversation with Steve, and I’m happy the guys accept her.
“Davis, why don’t you take Tommy into the auditorium. Get him all settled in. You know the pep talk and shit, not to be nervous,” Jovan instructs, flashing a sly smile my way, “and I'll be inside in a few.”
My heart races, thumping strong as if it's trying to escape my chest, and I swallow hard, anxious to spend a few minutes alone with Jovan. The guys take a hint and leave, and Blue, bless her heart, continues chatting with Steve as they all walk to the auditorium.
Jovan clasps my hand. “Come on,” he says as his eyes crinkle and his lips twist into a mischievous grin.
We are heading under the bleachers for a few moments of privacy, when someone calls his name, and I cringe.
As I whirl around, April and Jasmine are standing behind us with dumbfounded stares on their bitchy faces.
“Hey, April, Jazz.” Jovan says, with a tight, controlled voice.
Jazz… really?
My face feels so taut, my jaw muscles throb, and I force myself to smile. “I should get inside.” The strain in my voice is evident to my own ears, even though I’m trying hard to act light and casual.
“No.” Jovan clasps my wrist as he turns to them. “I’ll see you guys later.”
A smug feeling of satisfaction settles into my eyes, and I glance at Jasmine.
She grits her teeth, then plasters on her phony smile. “Sounds great. We can hook up after the ceremony.” She bats her eyelashes at Jovan, thrusting her chest forward.
“Yeah, about that. I have plans,” he says dryly.
I want to kiss him right here in front of her for taking the snooty bitch down a peg or two.
“Let’s go,” April say
s, taking a hint that Jovan isn’t interested in meeting up with her friend.
“Great idea,” I deadpan.
Jovan shoots me a glance for my rude response, but I don’t waver, and stare at them without blinking.
Jasmine stomps off in a huff and April follows her, trying to ease her bruised ego.
“Hey, you were a little harsh, don’t you think?” Jovan laughs, and gives me a nervous grin. “No need to be jealous. You don’t have to worry about her, Lana” He softens his voice to a purr. “She’s an ex, not a current girlfriend or anything.” His amazing green eyes search mine for understanding, as he nods at me. “Okay?”
I flick my head in agreement, and he guides me under the bleachers for some privacy. Before I have a chance to say anything, he grips me close to him and nuzzles into my neck, layering it with kisses.
My legs feel as if they will collapse under me, and I lean my weight forward into his chest. It’s been a hard twenty-four hours, and I nestle into the safety of his strong arms.
“I told you I’d know who you were when we were at school. I’d never ghost you,” he whispers in my ear, and grasps the back of my head, kissing me along my ear and cheekbone.
My heart feels as if it’s stopped beating, and time stands still as I inch my mouth closer to his, the heat of his lips scorching my own. The world drops away as we kiss deeply. Everything around me dims, except for him. Jovan’s breathing pounds in my ears as his chest rises and falls against mine. All I want in this moment, is for his touch to consume me. His breath exhales in rhythm with mine, and we break away slightly and laugh.
“We’d better get inside,” he admits. “Meet here after the ceremony?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” My lips twist into a downturned smile, and I shake my head slightly.
“What?” He laughs a small nervous chuckle.
“I can’t believe you dated a witch like that. I thought you had good taste.” I joke to lighten my obvious jab.
“That was last year. Besides, I do have good taste. I’m dating you now.” he says, to save face.