by York, Marie
I went in swinging with a fucking vengeance. I got Lorenzo good in the jaw and he stumbled back. I didn’t let him have a moment to recover. Instead, I landed punch after punch, and his eyes lost focus. He tried to swat my hands away. Blood spurted from his eyebrow, and dripped down my glove, but it didn’t stop me. It was like I didn’t control my hands. They took on a mind of their own, punching and destroying my opponent until he was nothing but a bloody barely conscious rag doll.
The ref grabbed me, trying to pull me off, but my hands kept striking. Two more guys latched onto my arms, and dragged me off of him. Mark joined them, screaming at me, but his words were lost. I heard nothing. There were too many thoughts in my head to allow a single word in.
I got shoved into the seat in my corner, and Mark smacked me across the cheek, jolting me out of the dark place I fell into.
“What the fuck was that?” he screamed. “You win, you get out. You don’t try to fucking kill the person!”
My eyes came back into focus, and they drifted to Lorenzo, being picked up from the mat. Blood streamed down his face from too many angles that I couldn’t quite tell where the blood started.
“I don’t know what happened,” I managed.
Mark shook his head, his hands planted firmly on his hips as he paced in front of me. He took a deep breath and stopped in front of me. “You better take care of whatever’s going on in here.” He smacked the side of my head. “Because this shit isn’t working.” Frustration was evident in the way he ran his hands through his hair. He linked his fingers behind his head and let out a breath. “Channel the anger, but for fuck sakes, control it. You got it?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
Ten minutes later, after they cleaned Lorenzo up, I was declared the winner. We met in the middle, and I almost felt bad for the damage I did to his face, but then I reminded myself to stop acting like a pussy and be proud of my work. The ref raised my hand and I put on my show of victory, before I took off. Mark was right. I needed to take care of a few things.
It was a quarter to nine, and if I hurried, I could catch Brooklyn leaving work.
“Viper, I need to talk to you,” Sal said, but I waved him off.
“Call me!” I yelled over my shoulder.
I jogged out to the parking lot, hopped into Tanya, threw her in reverse, and peeled out onto the street.
Brooklyn worked at a diner across town. She had mentioned it a couple times, and to my surprise, I actually paid attention enough to remember.
I pulled into the diner’s lot and saw Brooklyn walking to her car. It was the first time I hadn’t seen her in sweat pants. She was in black pants that showcased every beautiful curve. Her white shirt was only buttoned up halfway, and even though she wore a shirt beneath it, it couldn’t hide those tits.
She spotted my car—kind of hard not to—and her steps became more hesitant and planned. I jumped out of the driver’s side and stormed up to her.
“What do you want, Nixon?” she asked, using my real name, which hit me low in the gut. She got close enough to see my face. Her eyes widened, and though I didn’t look in a mirror, I knew it must’ve looked gruesome. If I took a second to calm down, I’m sure it would hurt like a bitch.
“You’re in my fucking head,” I yelled and ran my hands through my hair, because if I didn’t, I might’ve punched something.
“What are you talking about?”
“I almost lost a fight because you’re in there.” I jabbed my finger at my temple. “And I don’t know how to get you out. I have never felt guilt in my life, but you…” I stormed away then turned back, coming to a halt inches from her face. “You give me one fucking look of disgust, and I can’t stop thinking about how awful I feel about it.”
“You’re a pig. Deal with it,” she spat, and I wanted to put my hand through the fence.
“That’s the problem. I never had to deal with it because I didn’t give a shit. And then, you walk into my life, and now all of a sudden I have…I have…” I had no idea what I had, but it was something that was fucking with my mind.
“You have feelings,” she said, in an almost a mocking tone.
I didn’t say anything, just growled.
“I don’t know what you want from me.” She tucked her curls behind her ear.
“I don’t either! But thinking that someone could have hurt you...” That blinding rage pushed to the forefront and I forced my fist against my lips, trying to contain it. “Not being your trainer. Not teaching you how to fight. I know I don’t want that. I need to know you can take care of yourself. I need to know you’re okay. Dump Melissa. Come back to me. Please.”
“You said a horrible thing and did the unthinkable with that girl. You might as well have fucked her in front of me. Wait… you already did that.”
“That doesn’t count. I didn’t even know you then.”
“You didn’t, but that just shows me what type of person you are, and that’s not someone I need in my life right now. I’m sorry.”
She got in her car and drove away, as I stood there, staring at her taillights as they disappeared into the distance.
I had no idea what I expected when I came here, but it was definitely not that.
Chapter 10
Brooklyn
Tears streamed down my face as I drove away from the diner and Nixon. I stayed strong while in front of him, but as soon as I was safely hidden in my car, I couldn’t hold myself together any more. Pain, regret, disappointment and so many other emotions consumed me and it took all I had to stay focused on the road.
I was right. He felt something too. That electric current was definitely there between us, but I couldn’t let him know. It would have been so easy to let my guard down and let him pull me in for a kiss, say the hell with it all, and kiss away the pain from his eyes, and make him forget the ache that the bruises on his face must’ve been causing. But I couldn’t, so I said horrible things to keep him away.
Meeting Nixon changed me, but I had to remember why I went to him in the first place. My intention was never to fall for him. I needed him to teach me to fight, to protect myself, because I was in constant danger. It would be selfish of me to willingly let him step into my world without knowing the truth. And the truth wasn’t something I was ready to talk about with anyone. Not now and maybe not ever.
But that didn’t mean I had to write him off completely, did it? Why couldn’t we go back to our original agreement, trainer and trainee.
I still had so much to learn before I felt strong and confident enough to not fear leaving my apartment or parking in a spot that had two big trucks on either side of it. I wanted to be able to do normal everyday things without that voice in the back of my head telling me to be aware of my surroundings.
I wanted to know what it felt like to walk down the street and not fear it might be the last steps I take. Mainly, I wanted the chance to find the courage to open up and finally tell someone what I was so scared of. Divulge the secrets I kept so tightly guarded inside of me, because I was afraid they’d bring pain and suffering to all who knew.
I wanted my life back.
And the only way I knew how to get it back was to continue doing exactly what I was doing. Baby steps. The only problem was Nixon was a huge part of those baby steps. I was willing to forgive, to forget and to move forward as long as he was willing to do the same.
But first, I needed ice cream.
***
Nixon
Brooklyn wasn’t the only one who was making me feel guilt. Ever since I yelled at Sassy, I’d been treating her like a queen. Even bought her a bed so she knew this was her home and I wasn’t going to take her back to the dumpster like I’d swore I would.
I guess a part of me always knew I never would, but was too fucking thickheaded to admit it to her or myself. I picked Sassy up, and scratched at her scruff before putting her back down.
She curled up in her bed, and I headed out to work. I’d already got my run in and
was looking forward to getting another workout in between clients. Last night, after whatever that was with Brooklyn, I went home and went to bed. I thought about going to a bar, getting drunk, and fucking the first slut who approached me, but Brooklyn’s words reverberated in my head.
Just shows me what type of person you are, and that’s not someone I need in my life right now.
I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was like somewhere along the way I gained a conscience. Not like it mattered. Brooklyn made it perfectly clear she wanted nothing to do with me. It hurt in a way I wasn’t expecting, but I wasn’t going to dwell on some shit like that. There were plenty of other girls out there. Girls who wanted me just the way I was, and who were willing to do anything I wanted. Brooklyn was a complication I didn’t need.
I walked into the gym, and smiled at Cindy. “My first appointment here yet?” I asked, not even sure who it was.
“Oh, honey, look at your face. Damn shame for someone as cute as you to be all black and blue.”
“It’ll heal.”
“Yes, it will. Well, your first appointment is sitting over by the free weights.”
“Thanks, Cind.” I winked at her and headed to the weights. As I passed the elliptical, my eyes landed on a pair of baggy sweatpants and a tight tank top with tiny straps that could only belong to one person.
She must’ve been here for a session with Melissa. Except, Melissa didn’t come in until after noon today. And she was sitting on the bench in the middle of the free weights.
Her back was to me, and I approached her with caution. Was she here for round two? Did she sleep on it and realize all the things she really wanted to say to me? If I was honest, she took it pretty easy on me. I deserved worse. Much worse.
“What are you doing here?” I asked and she jumped up from the bench, causing her tits to jiggle. I forced my eyes away from her chest and focused on her eyes. “Here to tell me what a terrible person I am? Tell me I’m a piece of shit? Because believe me sweetheart, it’s nothing I don’t already know.”
She shook her head and a curl sprung loose from her ponytail. “No. What I said last night…I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know you well enough to make that judgment.”
“But you do.” I leaned in, pushing the curl back into her ponytail. She shivered at my touch, and I let my hand linger longer than I should have. “I’m the guy your parents warned you about. The guy who kisses and tells then never calls you again. Who wouldn’t think twice about fucking you behind a dumpster or bending you over the hood of a car and taking you right where anyone can stumble upon us. I’m exactly who you think I am.”
Her gorgeous gray eyes locked with mine. “Those things don’t make you a bad person.”
“No?” From what I’ve been told by pissed off females, that’s exactly what that made me.
“No. I’ve been with the guy my parents warned me about, and you are not that guy.”
Was it possible she saw something other women didn’t see? Because as far as I knew, I was definitely that guy. “How do you know?”
“Because guilt brought you to me last night.”
“If you think that, then you’re going to be disappointed.”
She held my gaze with a determine glint in her eyes. “I’ll only be disappointed if you tell me you don’t want to be my trainer anymore.”
The smart thing to do was to tell her no and get her the fuck away from me, but, when it came to Brooklyn, I was fucking stupid. “Go grab the five-pound weights. We’re doing lunges,” I said, and a smile spread wide, lighting up her entire face. It was the prettiest damn thing I’d ever seen. And, even though I knew I was making a huge fucking mistake, I didn’t care.
I wasn’t ready to walk away just yet.
***
My phone rang as I drove to meet Brooklyn for another self-defense training session. I glanced down to see Sal’s name flashing on the screen. He always had impeccable timing.
“What is it, Sal?”
“I just got off the phone with Seth’s agent. He wants to push the fight back a month.”
“A month? It’s already three months out. Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Do I kid?”
“Fucking pansy,” I growled into the phone. “Book it, but no more rescheduling. He either wants to fight or he doesn’t.”
“Okay, I’ll let him know.”
I hung up the phone, and pulled into the parking lot. Brooklyn was already there, leaning against her car. She had officially ditched the baggy t-shirts—thank God—and was in her now usual tight tank top. She hadn’t dropped the baggy sweatpants yet, and still had me guessing what I’d find beneath them.
“Hey,” she said, as I got out of Tanya.
“Hey. You ready to get started?”
“You betcha.”
We walked to the side door. I unlocked it and let us in. She stood back by the door as I flipped the switch on. When the lights flickered to life, she climbed right into the ring, a determined skip in her step.
I headed over to her, and hopped over the ropes.
“Can we do that move that we never finished last time?” she asked.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” I remembered her major freak out and how shitty it made me feel that she could think I’d actually hurt her. Anger burned inside of me and I turned away, trying to push the fury down. She didn’t need my anger and any reason to believe that I could hurt her.
She rested her hand gently on my shoulder. “I trust you,” she said.
My heart stuttered as she dragged her fingers along my shoulder until she stood in front of me. I swallowed down the desire to crush my mouth to hers, rip those damn sweats off, and finally see what she kept hidden beneath.
She took my hand, and draped my arm across her neck, showing me and not just telling me, she trusted me. I glanced down, admiring all her curves, especially the one of her neck. It was long and slender, just begging me to run my tongue along it.
I shook my head, clearing it of erotic thoughts and focused on why we were here. She was giving me her trust and I didn’t want to betray that.
“You see this hand?” I held up the hand of my free arm. “This is the hand you have to worry about. This hand is the one that usually finishes the choke. You want to grab it, and try to get it off of you, but remember to stay active. Keep fighting. So, while you are trying to get the hand off, continue to stomp his feet, and keep trying to land an elbow to the body. If you get an elbow to the body, pull that down, and punch him in the groin. Then, shove the hand off, and duck out from the hold. If you get out, kick him hard in the side, or the stomach, to get him as far away from you as you can, and then run. Switch places with me.”
She walked behind me, and I grabbed her arm, wrapping it around my throat. Heat radiated off of her body, and her breath skittered warmly against my neck. Her skin was damp with sweat, yet she still smelled so damn good.
I demonstrated the move for her. “You got it?”
“I do,” she breathed.
“Show me.”
She demonstrated what I had taught her with perfect precision. “I got it right!” she exclaimed, and jumped up and down. I licked my lips, watching her tits bounce with each movement.
“You did.” I took my eyes away from her chest. “Good job. I think that’s enough for tonight.” Because, if I didn’t get out of there right that damn minute, I was going to grab those fucking tits and bend her over the ropes.
“Can we meet again tomorrow?” The drop in her voice almost undid me.
“I’ll be here,” I managed.
She bit her lip, and I had to look away. “I’ll see you then.” She stepped out of the ropes, and I forced back the urges coursing through me. She gave me a wave and headed to the door. Her ass swayed with each step, and without that damn t-shirt hanging over it, I could see the outline of it, and how amazingly round it was.
She disappeared into the night, and I went right to the bag. I punched
the shit out of it so I didn’t run after that ass and the girl who was starting to become more than just a body with a hole.
Chapter 11
Nixon
My phone rang as I drove to Mark’s. I glanced down and rolled my eyes when I saw Home flash across the screen. The only time I got a call from that number was to be bitched at. I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with them, but if I didn’t answer, they’d just keep calling until I did. So, I gritted my teeth and answered.
“Yeah,” I spat.
“Nixon, it’s your mother,” she said, like people didn’t have caller ID, and the way she said mother, it was obvious this wasn’t going to be a pleasant call. Not like they ever were. Getting a root canal with no Novocain was more enjoyable than speaking with either of my parents.
“I know,” I muttered as I came to a stop at a red light. “What do you want?” I wanted to get to the point and get off the phone as soon as possible. There was no reason to drag this shit out any longer than necessary.
“Our check for your tuition was returned. We figured it was a mistake, so your father spent an hour on the phone getting transferred from one department to the next only to find out you didn’t enroll this semester.”
Oh, fuck. Here we go. The light changed, and I dropped the clutch and hit the gas, refusing to say anything. I’m sure she had more than enough to say for the both of us.
“We both agreed that it must’ve been a misunderstanding.”
“It’s not a misunderstanding. I dropped out,” I interrupted, and waited for the shit storm she was about to unleash.
“Excuse me?” she snapped with that tone she had been using on me since I was five. “Were you planning on telling us? Or did you think you could pretend that nothing changed and we’d never figure it out?”
“To be honest. You two were the farthest thoughts from my mind. It’s my fucking life,” I growled into the phone.
“Don’t you dare use that word while speaking with me. You might be three thousand miles away, but I am still your mother. I carried you for nine months, and spent seventy-two hours in labor to bring you into this world.”