“So, what brings my cousins all the way up here? I’m certain it’s not for the shoot,” said my cousin.
“Well Henry, we want to know what you know about James Urquhart.”
He frowned, got up and paced the room for a few moments glancing at us now and then as if he were trying to make up his mind. Then he turned and sat down next to us. I noticed his moustache was rather asymmetrical, indicating he had once again been attempting to cut a new style with limited success. Then looking straight at me he said, “Have you ever heard of the Loch Ness Monster?”
“Why yes, Henry. It must appear in the magazines every year at the commencement of the tourist season in Scotland.”
“Precisely, a little publicity for the curious and gullible. However, I have seen it.”
“What!”
“Yes, I was staying at a hunting lodge two years ago by Loch Ness with a shooting party.”
“I did not know there were any grouse left in Scotland, Henry?”
“I will ignore that, Flory. Anyway, while we were there, a Mr James Urquhart arrived with that Italian fellow.”
“Who, Henry?” I exclaimed.
“You know, the Italian fellow, Mr Cambio D’Ora, the one who lives up at Midhurst. Nice chap and seemed very knowledgeable on stars and planets and that sort of thing. Claimed he knew that chap Biddle Airy who made Greenwich the meridian for the whole world remember?”
“Do not tease Henry. You said you met Mr James Urquhart!”
“Yes. The real one, not the impersonator we met at the Cricket Club.”
I did not understand. James had said that our encounter at the cricket club was his first experience in our time. Yet Henry plainly had just said he had seen him, or someone with the same name? Two years before!
“So Henry, what happened? I mean with your encounter with this Mr Urquhart?”
“The next morning we took the carriages to see the ruins of Urquhart Castle on the Loch. I enquired if Mr Urquhart was related to the Urquhart clan but he was quite unknowledgeable on the whole subject and seemed decidedly unsure of himself in the matter.
“Anyway, we eventually climbed to the top of the ruin. It was a bright sunny day and of course we were all hoping to see the Loch Ness monster and suddenly there it was!”
“What, you saw it? Did James, I mean Mr Urquhart, did he take a photograph with his phone?”
“Pardon, Elizabeth?”
“Sorry Henry, I was getting too involved with your story. Did he have a small black case which he pointed at the creature?”
“Why, yes he did, Elizabeth! How did you know? He was very excited and held it in front of himself for some time. Then he did a most peculiar thing. He pressed it, then holding it to his ear, began to talk into it! We thought he must be having a brain fever. I have seen men, whom you would think were the sturdiest kind, lose their nerves in unfamiliar circumstances. But I thought he had gone completely mad because he started walking down to the creature.”
“Oh my god! What did the creature do?”
“Nothing at first. It was big, about twenty feet long and black all over. There was what looked like a large fin on top and one on its tail. It had two large black slits above its nose which I took to be its eyes. But then it moved towards the shore and its mouth, which I had not noticed before, opened and Mr Urquhart, before we could stop him, walked straight into its mouth which closed immediately and the creature slowly sank beneath the water!”
“Oh Flory! He has been eaten! What a tragedy! We have lost him. We will never see him again.”
Flory held my hand and came close to whisper, “Elizabeth! Calm yourself. Remember?”
“Remember what?”
“We saw James two years after this event. He must be alive. By some means he must have escaped!”
Henry looked at us incredulously.
“Are you suggesting, Flory, that the man you both introduced to me at the cricket club was not an imposter but was actually this chap Urquhart?”
“Yes, Henry. And that is why we asked you about the black case and the photographs. He had such as device at Hamgreen. In fact, I still have it.”
“My god!”
“Yes, my dear cousin, and now we understand why you were so shocked to see him.”
“No, Elizabeth. I don’t mean that, I mean you said you have his black case!”
“Oh yes Henry, we have communicated many times.”
Henry slowly sat down.
I suddenly realised we had overstepped the mark. We possibly had a lot of explaining to do. Much of which would possibly require defending our honour and reputations quite vigorously.
---~---
J.
It was a dark grey green, over twenty feet long and shaped like a cigar. There was no obvious entrance but when Marco pressed a mark on the hull the front slowly opened like a mouth.
“Welcome to the Loch Ness Monster”. He said with the smile of someone showing off a new toy. “This is where the legend starts Mr Urquhart. Do you want to go in?”
“After you”, I said.
We followed Marco up the ramp and into the mouth. The inside was almost empty save for a chair and a console. It was illuminated by a suffused red glow which seemed to emanate from the hull walls.
The mechanism was simple: one joystick, an Xbox controller and a simple cam connected to a video screen. For communication Marco had set up a Wi-Fi transmitter and receiver on the boat which linked to my new phone.
“Ok, Mr Urquhart. If it works then you should find yourselves in the Loch near Urquhart Castle in 1871.”
“What do you mean IN the Loch?”
“Don’t worry. It’s waterproof. It’s good down to about a hundred feet. If you find yourselves below the surface just use these controls, like this to raise it. Make sure it’s on the surface though before you open the door. Anyway, good luck. I’ll meet you there”. And he left us.
“James? What are we doing?”
“I don’t know Jill. For all I know he’s locked us in and thrown away the key”.
We both rushed for the door. It was locked.
“God Jim. We must be bloody idiots. We are now locked in a box with no idea of escape. We’re going to die aren’t we?”
For some reason I couldn’t think of a reassuring answer.
We must have waited, watching the screen for over an hour when suddenly we noticed the moon.
“It’s happened Jill."
"What's happened Jim?"
I moved the Cam around. I could see we were on water and above there were stars.
"It looks like we're on Loch Ness, Jill. I can just see the castle. Move this monster forwards slowly towards it if you can."
There was a sudden lurch forward.
"Bloody hell Jill. Careful!"
"Sorry Jim. Perhaps the one who spends his evening on his games machine in his 'shed' pretending he's marking papers would be better at it."
I must remember to keep that attic door closed and use head phones in future.
Then the stasis box. hit the shoreline with a mild crunch and stopped.
"I think we've landed. OK, let's open the door and get out before it sinks."
I opened the bow. Marco was standing on the castle embankment.
“Hello,” I said. “I’m Jim Urquhart and this is ...”
“Yes, I know.”
“But you said this is the first time we met or, er, meet.”
“Yes, along the timeline. But you see I seem to be stuck not only in a time loop but a memory loop as well. I am meeting you here for the first time coming out the stasis box, but I already know that in the future we build the stasis box to come back here. And in the future I already know we have met here. My brain is unable to think which came first. In this time loop the memories of our two meetings are joined in a circle. It just goes around and around. There is no first encounter.”
“Jeez! And you’re hoping this will get you out of the loop. OK, so what do we do now?”
“Well, James, you come with me. Jill, I’m afraid you have to stay in the stasis box till tomorrow.”
“What?” She said.
“It’s OK, there is food and drink in a case at the back.”
“And if I need a pee?”
“Ah. I forgot. You’ll have to use the bucket.”
“Oh thanks very much! You go off to your soirée while I spend the night in a black box on a bucket!”
We tried to look suitably embarrassed.
“I’ve got no choice, have I? Oh, she’d better be worth it James!”
And she closed the bow door and slowly submerged below the water.
We walked along the track to the hunting lodge.
“So, Marco, how did you get into their cricket team?”
“Oh, that was easy. I played juniors for Sussex and also Manchester Uni. Henry’s eleven haven’t a clue, you know. Imagine the advantage with all the coaching I’ve had access to.”
“No, I mean, how did you get involved with them in the first place? Do you have a time machine?”
“Not at the time. It was like you. One day I was in the clubhouse at Midhurst. When I came out to play in my cricket gear, there I was in 1870.”
“What did they say?”
“They didn’t. No one noticed, including me at first. I just walked up to the crease and whacked off six sixes in a row. Never seen such bad bowling. After that I was Fotheringale’s Eleven’s best mate. It wasn’t till I got back to the club house that I realised I didn’t recognise anyone and they discovered that no one owned up to knowing me.”
“What happened?”
“I bluffed. I said I must have turned up at the wrong game and hadn’t noticed. Well, they were not daft. They decided that my performance far outweighed my story and immediately asked me to join their club.”
“So, when did you realise you were out of your time?”
“Luckily, fairly quickly when I returned to the club house. Their clothes, manners and servants, not to mention their incredulous attention to my kit, helmet and bat gave me the clue. So by the time they quizzed me on my background I was ready for them. I told them I was an amateur astronomer, which went down extremely well and wasn’t far from the truth.”
We had arrived at the hunting lodge. We went up to the main entrance and introduced ourselves to the porter, saying we had got lost on the moors and wondered if we could stay overnight.
It wasn’t long before Henry appeared, who seemed very affable and once he heard my name wanted to know everything about the Urquhart Clan. I wish I had taken more interest in my granddad’s ancestors. Henry’s group were having a day off from shooting the next day and said they were going to explore the castle ruins. We said it was on our way and they kindly invited us to join them.
Now everything depended on Jill.
When we arrived at the castle the next morning we climbed up the ruins to get a view of the Loch. As we all looked over the wall I texted a signal to Jill to raise the boat. It worked like a dream. Complete mayhem. The whole shooting party were in uproar. I took some photos of the fun and then signalled Jill to open the bow door. As it opened I slowly walked down the hill and calmly walked into the Loch Ness Monster submarine, hoping not to catch the contents of a bucket.
Jill closed the doors.
“Brilliant, Jill.”
“Yeah, and thanks for asking how I got through the night with only a bucket for a friend.”
I realised this was another lose-lose situation.
“Ok, I’m an unfeeling bastard but let’s quietly submerge and get out of here. We’ll be all over the papers by the weekend. I can see it all – the well-known eccentric Mr James Urquhart was swallowed by the Loch Ness Monster – read all about it.”
“Yes Jim, and if I see an old picture of me squatting on a bucket in the archives you’re a dead man. However, there’s just one problem.”
“What?”
“How do we get back?”
“Damn!”
---~---
E.
“So Elizabeth,” said Henry, looking me straight in the eye when we had finished our explanations. I had purposely left out our difference in time. Mainly because I had no idea how to explain it or to give concrete proof of its existence. “While we all thought Mr Urquhart was just an eccentric member of your aunt’s staff he was actually also your lover.”
“How dare you, Henry! You will not spread that rumour. At no time was I ever on my own with Mr Urquhart. I am well aware that I have my reputation to protect and you should know that I would not put myself in a compromising position.”
“Ah yes, but perhaps you may have thought of putting yourself in, as you put it, a compromising position.”
“Well, really!” And I stamped out of the room and slammed the door. I was pleased to hear my sister giving him such a tongue lashing that I was sure he would take some time to forget it.
After a couple of minutes the door opened and my cousin appeared a little sheepishly.
“I feel I must apologise, Elizabeth, for questioning your reputation. Your sister has done more than enough to convince me that even questioning in half-jest on this subject was extremely rude of me.”
“Well, it is alright for you, Henry, gallivanting about with your friends, but it is very difficult for a lady to have fun and keep a reputation that will still make her eligible for a suitable engagement or marriage.”
“You are quite right, Elizabeth. I do feel we men sometimes put women on too high a pedestal and then admonish them for falling off.”
“I can assure you I have no intention of falling off my pedestal, as you say.”
“Ah yes, Elizabeth, but I have observed many a lady purposely fall off her pedestal, if you allow me to continue to labour the euphemism, if the right gentleman passes by to catch her.”
He had seen through me very easily and he could see that I followed his drift, but he was kind enough not to pursue it.
“So, Elizabeth,” he said, putting his hand gently on my knee, which I removed immediately, “How are we going to find your Mr Urquhart again?”
“Thank you, Henry, for understanding our situation. I have his black case and he has a list of my engagements, but he has failed to appear at the last three.”
“But we have a link, Elizabeth. Mr D’Ora at Midhurst. Remember I first met him with Mr Urquhart at Loch Ness?”
“Of course! We must go to him at once.”
“Steady. It is getting late. I will send a messenger post haste. Write a quick note, Elizabeth, about you and Mr Urquhart and ask how you might meet him again.”
I did not feel confident enough to do such a thing but I did not want to reveal my feelings.
“As we have been discussing the preservation of my reputation, Henry, I would prefer that you wrote on my behalf. I do not want to look too forward.”
“You are quite right, Elizabeth, if you look too forward you might fall off your pedestal without your Mr Urquhart to catch you.”
My pocketbook caught him nicely on the side of the forehead.
---~---
J.
“So, Jim, what do we do?” said Jill.
“We wait.”
“Oh great, and second prize is, two nights in a sealed tub accompanied by one thunder box and a lousy brother. And suppose we run out of air?”
“We just surface and open the hatch.”
“And now death by drowning. Are all your dates like this, Jim? Don’t answer that. Oh well, what have we got to lose? Let’s chance it.”
We slowly raised the boat until the camera was above water.
“Oh my god! There are boats everywhere! Damn! One of them has seen us. Dive, Jill!”
We slowly went down. I remember reading somewhere that Loch Ness was very deep, so we should be able to hide easily, except suddenly the hull began to creek alarmingly. I had not asked Marco what pressure it could stand. Not that it mattered because there was no pressure gauge.
Suddenly the no
ise stopped. We looked at each other.
“Raise it slowly to the surface, Jill. I’ll watch the cam.”
Nothing happened. The cam display was black.
We waited for about half an hour. Nothing moved.
“Do you think we’ve run aground?”
“I can’t tell.”
“Maybe we have returned to the lab?”
“There’s only one way to find out. Open the hatch.”
“What?! No way, Jim!”
I looked at the hatch door. Then I noticed Marco’s crowd-sourcing had funded a tell-tale.
“It’s got a tell-tale, Jill. All I have to do is open this tap. If there is no water then there is no water outside.”
I turned the tap. It was dry. Unfortunately at the moment I remembered an article on HMS Thetis, which sunk because someone had filled the tell-tale pipe with paint. I decided to keep that to myself and to go ahead anyway. I convinced Jill to open the door, and she was no doubt spurred on by another night in the box. With a creak it slowly opened. Water dripped around the seal.
“Keep going, Jill.”
The door continued to open; no further water came in. When it was fully open I looked out. It was pitch black outside. I climbed out, feeling for the ground. Relief! It was a wooden floor. We were back in the lab.
I turned on a light. The lab was empty.
“So what do we do now, Jim?”
“I’ve no idea. Find Marco?”
---~---
E.
The messenger returned just before bedtime. He had found Mr D’Ora out so he gave it to his neighbour, who promised to deliver it as soon as he returned.
Out of Time Page 7