“Colin,” he replied readily. “And it would be a wonderful thing for him and Selina to return to Europe. Since her mother died earlier this year, she doesn’t really have any close family remaining in Hong Kong, just some cousins and friends. Her father has lived in Paris for years, while her brother relocated to Brussels two years ago. And I know Colin would be thrilled to be back with our family. It’s been lonely for him in Hong Kong these past years.”
“That’s not why you’re thinking of refusing the job yourself, is it?” Tessa asked pointedly. “Because of your brother?”
Ian hesitated. “I’ll admit it’s a factor,” he acknowledged. “But definitely not the main one. I’m just not sure I like the idea of how much time I’d need to spend away from home, darling. I’d miss you and Gilly too much, would worry about you constantly. And I don’t want to miss out on seeing my children grow up. I want to be there for every important occasion, to have dinner with them every night. And that certainly won’t be the case if I take this job.”
“Colin has a wife and two young boys,” she observed. “Why would it be any different for him?”
“His boys are a bit older than Gilly, for one,” countered Ian. “And Selina is a very independent woman, almost frighteningly so. She has her career, several friends in London, and I’m guessing her father would begin spending part of the year in England if she moved there.”
Tessa began to twirl a lock of hair around her fingers, another surefire sign that she was feeling agitated. “Whereas I’m far too dependent on you, aren’t I?” she murmured. “Too needy. And while I have a few friends, it isn’t the same as having a family of my own, is it?”
Ian captured her hand between his. “Gilly and I are your family,” he insisted. “We - the three of us, plus this new baby - we’re a family. And you are not needy, not weak. After everything you’ve been through in your life, Tessa, how can you even say that? And if you’re dependent on me, why do you think it’s any different on my end? I need you and Gilly desperately, need to be with you all the time. I love my girls more than my own life, and I’m not sure I could handle being separated from you for a week or two at a time. So this isn’t just about how you would cope with being separated, darling, but how it would affect me as well.”
She nodded, brushing away a tear that had welled up in her eye. “I get it,” she said softly. “But whatever you ultimately decide, Ian, just know that I’ll support you no matter what. We’re in this together, after all, and I’ll travel to the ends of the earth in order to be with you. How does that Bible verse go, the one the minister read at our wedding - ‘for wherever you go, I will go, wherever you live, I will live’. That’s never been more true than it is right now.”
He leaned over the table and kissed her softly on the lips. “I love you rather desperately, you know. You and Gilly and our new baby. And I’ll consider everything very carefully before making this decision. I told my father I’d let him know next week, right after Thanksgiving. So we have a little time yet to make a decision - the right decision for all of us.”
Tessa was about to reply when Gilly tugged urgently on Ian’s coat sleeve, puckering up her little pink mouth when he turned to look at her inquiringly.
“Kiss Gilly, too,” she demanded. “Daddy kiss Gilly, too.”
Tessa laughed in delight as Ian did just that, then gave her little girl a loud smooch on her rosy cheek. “I don’t blame you, Gilly,” she murmured, still laughing. “He’s a very, very good kisser, after all.”
Five days later
“Aren’t you freezing out here? And in bare feet at that.”
Tessa turned to face her husband as he walked out onto the deck, shaking her head in reply. “You know that never bothers me,” she told him. “I love the fog and wind as much as I do the sun. As long as we’re up here, that is.”
‘Up here’ meaning the beach house that had become their second home, the place that Tessa loved just as much as she did the big house back in San Francisco. Life was different here, slower, more casual and laidback. Her wardrobe here consisted of jeans, shorts, T-shirts, and sweaters, and when she bothered to wear shoes they were either flip flops or sneakers. She rarely wore makeup during their stays here, and wasn’t sure if she even kept any jewelry in the house. She loved the days and weeks they spent up here, and couldn’t bear to think about never staying here again.
But it was a reality she’d had to think about often over the past few days, ever since Ian had dropped his bombshell about possibly moving back to England. She’d known this day would come, had known it ever since Victoria had casually made mention of the possibility a few years back. But Ian had never once brought the subject up, giving her cause to hope that moving back to England wasn’t something he’d ever seriously consider.
However, fate had finally come knocking on their door, and now it was time to face the fact that her life as she knew it was quite possibly going to change in a big way. She would have to say good-by to her friends in San Francisco, would have to sell both the mansion in the city that had been the first real home she’d ever known, and this beach house where she’d spent some of the happiest days of her life. And while she liked London, and loved the fact that Ian’s family would be close at hand, Tessa was afraid that it would be a long time before she could start to think of that city as home.
Ian wrapped her up in his arms, and she snuggled the top of her head beneath his chin. “I’ll take you one day to the Northern Isles, just off the coast of Scotland. You’d love it there. The weather is almost always cool and rainy, and the scenery is spectacular. But I’m afraid you’d have to wear shoes there.”
Tessa laughed, burrowing a little closer against the welcome heat of his big body. “That might be something of a deal breaker,” she teased. “But otherwise it sounds lovely. Is Gilly still asleep?”
He nodded. “Out like a little light. The drive up here always puts her right to sleep, you know. But she’ll be waking soon, just in time for dinner.”
“I’ve got everything ready to go, just needs to be heated up. Why don’t you make yourself a drink or pour a glass of wine? She’ll probably nap for another half hour or so.”
“In a bit, perhaps. I’m not in any rush,” he assured her. “We can just stand out here and watch the surf for a few minutes. I know that’s one of your very favorite pastimes.”
They had made the drive up to the beach house just after lunchtime, arriving in the middle of the afternoon. Tessa had settled Gilly down for a much needed nap, then unpacked the groceries they had brought with - including all of the fixings for Thanksgiving dinner in two days time. They would head home on Sunday morning, just in time for their Christmas tree to be delivered.
She didn’t want to think about the possibility that this could very well be the last Christmas she spent in the beautiful brick house, the one that had welcomed her in the very first time she’d stepped over the threshold. Nor did she want to contemplate how exhausting it would be to pack up all of her clothes, Gilly’s toys, every dish and vase and painting, all of her precious Christmas ornaments. And she really, really didn’t want to think about having to sell this beach house - her beach house - the one that Ian had continued to insist remain in just her name.
“You didn’t ask who I was on the phone with a little while ago.”
Ian’s voice startled her from her thoughts as she gazed up at him. In her bare feet he had several more inches on her than usual.
“I figured it was someone from the office,” she shrugged. “Andrew maybe. Even with the office closing tomorrow for the long weekend, he’ll probably head in for half a day.”
“It wasn’t Andrew. Or the office. I was actually speaking with my father,” replied Ian.
“Oh?” Tessa tried her best to sound calm, willed her heart to slow down its rapid beat. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes. At least it is now,” he clarified. He took her firmly by the shoulders and turned her to face him. His hazel eyes were
gentle, filled with so much warmth and understanding that she wanted to weep. “I told him no, Tessa. Turned down the offer to transition into Hugh’s job. I told my father that I’ve never been happier in my life than I’ve been these past few years, and that as much as I love him and my mother, my life is here now. In San Francisco. With you and Gilly and Liam. So you don’t have to be brave for me any longer, darling, don’t have to keep a stiff upper lip as we Brits are so fond of saying. We’re staying put, and I for one couldn’t be happier about it.”
She stared at him, not quite believing what she had just heard. “But - but you’ve worked so hard for that job,” she whispered. “You’ve earned that job, Ian. It isn’t right that you turned it down just because of me. Yes, it will be difficult to make the adjustments, especially with a new baby to take care of, but I’d do anything for you, anything at all.”
“Good,” he told her, pulling her into his arms. “Then, in the words of the poet Christopher Marlowe ‘come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove’. I love the life we’ve made here together, Tessa. And it wouldn’t be quite the same if we moved to England. I’d miss all of this, too, you know.”
Stubbornly, she shook her head. “I know you turned that job down because of me, Ian. Because you’re afraid to leave me alone for weeks at a time, that I wouldn’t be able to cope with all the responsibilities and loneliness. But I swear I’d be all right. I’m so much stronger now then when you first met me, and it would all work out. I promise you that -”
Ian placed a finger over her lips. “Hush. The only thing I want you to promise is that you’ll never stop loving me. And if you think for one minute that the only reason I refused the job is because of you and the children, then think again. There are other issues that I considered as well.”
A gust of wind blew through Tessa’s long hair then, and the cool, foggy air was beginning to turn to a light drizzle. She couldn’t suppress a shiver, and despite her protests, Ian shooed her back inside the warm, cozy house where he’d already lit a fire in the majestic stone hearth. He urged her to sit on the plush sectional sofa, then tucked a fleecy throw over her lap and bare feet.
“This would be a very bad time for you to catch a cold,” he scolded. “Not just being pregnant, but with all of the holiday goings-on that are about to happen. So please indulge your very fussy husband and put some socks or shoes on. Please?”
“All right,” she agreed. “In a minute. After all, we aren’t quite through with what we were discussing, are we?”
“Not quite,” he acknowledged, taking a seat beside her and linking their hands. “I didn’t turn the job down just because of the upheaval it would have caused in our lives - selling two houses, arranging for everything to be packed up and shipped, finding a new place to live, unpacking. Throw in the arrival of young Liam in four months time and life would have become very complicated very quickly. All that being said, however, we would have found a way to cope, as you’ve mentioned more than once. I thought of all that, Tessa, thought of every advantage and disadvantage behind this move. Yes, I would have loved to be near my family again, to see them more often. Yes, this was the position I was always meant to hold one day, the one I worked myself ragged for. But in the end I realized it didn’t mean a thing to me anymore. All those years I worked fourteen hour days, six days a week, all with the goal of one day having that job, and eventually being co-CEO - none of that mattered any longer.”
She shook her head. “How can you say that?” she asked, bewildered. “What was it all for then, if not to achieve your goals? To realize your dreams?”
Ian caressed her cheek. “Because I realized that since I met you my goals and dreams have all changed,” he confessed. “Before I met you, I lived and breathed work, devoted myself like a slave to the company, thinking it was all I needed in my life. But that all changed when you came into my life, Tessa. Having you gave me a completely different purpose, filled a void in my life that I’d stupidly tried to compensate for with work. And when Gilly came along, it only strengthened that purpose. The two of you are everything to me, Tessa. Far, far more important than any job. And the very thought of not seeing both of you for a week or two at a time wasn’t up for negotiation.”
“It wouldn’t have been that way all the time,” she argued. “You said so yourself, that after the first few months things would settle down and be more or less as they are now.”
“That’s true. More or less, anyway. But, darling, what you haven’t considered is that I’ve got zero desire to put myself through that sort of ordeal ever again. You’ve traveled with me often enough to know how hectic our business trips can be. Imagine doing that three weeks out of four, for several months in a row. During the years I worked as the unofficial corporate troubleshooter, it felt like I spent ninety percent of my life in airports, on planes, living in hotels. I hardly had a minute to myself, no time to spend with my family or friends, and you know the impact it had on my relationship with Davina. And I flat out refuse to go back to those days, which is exactly what would happen if I took Hugh’s job. So you may think that I turned the job down solely because of you and the children, but that’s really only part of the reason. I also turned it down for me.“
Tessa flung her arms around his neck, hugging him close. “You’re sure?” she asked almost tearfully. “Really, really sure? Because I don’t ever want you to have regrets about this, to realize that in six months or a year you missed this opportunity.”
“No regrets,” he insisted. “No missed opportunities. My life is in San Francisco, or here at the beach house, with you and Gilly and soon our son. And it’s a good life, Tessa. The very best one I could have ever imagined. So I’d have to be a fool to give up such a life, wouldn’t I?”
She nodded, giving him a lingering kiss. “And since you’re the smartest man I’ve ever known, Mr. Gregson,” she told him with a dazzling smile, “you’d never do something so foolish, would you?”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Christmas Day, England
“Well, she’s just like a little queen holding court among all her doting subjects, isn’t she?”
Tessa laughed at her mother-in-law’s observation. “It does seem that way, doesn’t it? And here I was afraid she’d be intimidated with so many boys running around, and her being the only girl. But she seems to be having the time of her life.”
Joanna smiled fondly at the sight of her only granddaughter virtually surrounded by her half dozen male cousins. Gilly seemed quite content to be the lone female of the bunch, and played happily with the boys.
“She is just precious, Tessa,” murmured Joanna in an emotion-laden voice. “Absolutely precious. And I just knew somehow, that first time I met you in San Francisco, that you would be the one to finally give me a granddaughter. After growing up with three brothers, giving birth to three sons, and then having two of the three only produce grandsons, I’d given up hope of ever having a little girl in the family. And you’ve done such a marvelous job in bringing her up, dear. Such a little lady already, and the sweetest little angel besides. I’m looking forward to visiting you in San Francisco when the new baby arrives so that I can spend some quality time with my granddaughter.”
Tessa placed a hand on her mother-in-law’s forearm. “We’re all looking forward to your visit, too. And I can’t thank you enough for coming out to help.”
“We wouldn’t miss it,” assured Joanna. “And since Edward will be fully retired by then, we can stay longer than we did when Gilly was born.”
“It will be good for both of you to have him at home full time,” replied Tessa. “And, well, I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet, but I am sorry that Ian decided not to take the job. I know how much it would have meant to you to have him back in England.”
Joanna nodded. “I confess that I was disappointed to hear the news, but not all that surprised. I could tell how much he loved being in San Francisco, and that he’s made a good life for himself there
with you and Gilly. Besides, when he turned down the job it meant Colin could move into the position, and it will be good for him to return home. I know he’s been lonely over in Hong Kong, especially since it’s such a long distance away and a completely different culture. So at least I get one of my boys back. And with Edward finally retiring, we’ll be able to visit you in California more often. Or perhaps meet up somewhere in the middle for vacations.”
“We’d love that,” said Tessa earnestly. “It’s so important to me that our children spend time with Ian’s family. Especially since I have no one on my side.”
Joanna gave her hand a little squeeze. “I never knew her, of course, but I’m certain your mother would have loved Gilly,” she told Tessa softly. “And she would have been very proud of you, Tessa. But we’re all your family now, dear. We’re always here for you and consider you one of us.”
Tessa nodded. “I know. And I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. I never had a family of my own until I met Ian, never enjoyed holiday gatherings like this one. And I’m thrilled that my children will always have wonderful holidays, always have a big family around them at times like these. Gilly absolutely adored going to the Winter Wonderland. Not to mention Hamley’s Toy Shop. Though I’m afraid her daddy went a bit overboard buying her things there.”
Joanna laughed. “Ian likes to spoil his girls,” she chided. “And I see she’s abandoned the princess bear he bought her for that little lamb she takes everywhere.”
“Lambie is definitely her favorite,” agreed Tessa. “And speaking of favorites, I adore that dress she’s wearing. Though you really didn’t need to send her four different Christmas dresses, Joanna.”
Joanna shrugged. “I couldn’t decide which one, and I figured she’d wear each of them at least once given all of the holiday events we hold here. But that one is my favorite, too.”
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