by Amber Bardan
“La La.” His gaze flickered over my face. “Warrior not age past maturity until have mate.”
My head emptied. All the other important questions I’d lined up—do you all live underground, how do you feed everyone, what’s the best way to the surface—they all got suck. They did not age? “How old are you ?”
He shrugged.
“You don’t know?”
“Why need count?”
Holy shit. He could be a hundred. He could be five hundred.
He squeezes my fingers. “Not think this is how do favor.”
My eyelids flew wider. No, it wasn’t. And he wasn’t drunk enough to be oblivious it seemed. “Okay, I’ll stop the questions.” I bit back all the others. For now.
His gaze roamed me again. “Enjoying your face.”
“Thank you.” I let out a soft laugh. What an odd thing to say. “I enjoy your face, too.”
My laugh flattened. I did. His face was an excellent face. Those eyes, those lashes.
That crazy jaw.
I swallowed, attention sinking over his skin. Bronze and poreless…
He shifted closer. My back met the cave wall. But his presence was more imposing than the stone mass behind me. “Enjoying all of you, La La…”
My breath puffed out. Shivers snaked up my arms. My upper lip tasted salty.
Was he doing that heating me up thing again?
I dropped his gaze and leaned my forehead on his bony chin.
“Still have anger?” His voice lowered to a whisper.
“Your gift helped.” I shut my eyes. “But don’t do that again, okay?”
“Do?”
I pressed my forehead harder into his chin. “Don’t just disappear without telling me where you’re going or how long you’re going to be.”
“Why this make anger?”
Ugh, clearly there were a shortage of woman on this planet, because he didn’t understand them at all. “Because sometimes when someone is gone a long time without explanation the other person worries that they may not come back.”
He made a snorting sound. “Not worry, husband not so easy kill.”
“I’m not talking about dying.” My words hitched on the tightness in my chest. Even though earth was light years away, the ghosts from there managed to stalk me here.
He released my hands and lifted my face. “If not kill, what worry?”
I jerked my chin, but couldn’t budge from his grip. I kept my eyes closed. That’s right, Baratican’s liked to read expressions.
What did mine tell him right now?
“There’s many reasons people don’t come back.” I opened my eyes. Screw it, he likely wouldn’t comprehend, and if he wanted something to read I’d really give him something to contemplate. “Maybe they have another family, and kids they like better than you.” My teeth gnashed together, memories coming so thick and fast I may as well have been eight years old again. Mom saying, ‘ Sorry love, I don’t know when we’ll see Daddy again.’ “So, one day he goes and never comes back.” My jaw made a clicking sound, and I felt the jolt down to my sternum. “Or maybe one night your fiancé comes home late and tells you that it’s because you’re cold and frigid—” I sniffed my throat so tight the next words stuck like paste. “—And now there’s someone else’s face he enjoys more than yours.” I jerked my chin, one last useless time, then whispered, “Sometimes people don’t come back because they just don’t want you.”
He held me firm, then his touch moved to my trembling lip. “Ouch, La La?”
I choked on a mouthful of pain I’d never before admitted to. The pressure burst behind my eyes. “Yeah.”
He released my face and took the back of my neck and pulled me to his chest. And there he did his magic with his arms wrapped around me.
He warmed, and warmed, and warmed.
Until my jaw couldn’t continue to clench, and my lungs didn’t burn, and my shoulders couldn’t hold in the pain. I clung to him and let it happen.
Cried into his big warm chest until everything melted.
Until my breaths evened.
He drew back then brushed a thumb under my eye. “Not worry, La La. Could not want other more than want you.” His words wrapped around me more completely than his heat. “Never would enjoy other face more.”
I blinked away the haze in front of my eyes. That should be crazy. But Baraticans don’t lie. The earnest expression he wore didn’t lie either.
He brushed the sweat soaked, tear soaked hair from my face. “Never will abandon you.”
Something seemed to tug out of my middle, and feeling burst through my chest.
I leaned forward and slammed my mouth over his.
He stiffened for a moment, then his fingers buried in the back of my hair and his growl vibrated to my very center. I kissed him, and the question of whether or not an alien warrior knew about kissing got answered—he pushed his tongue deeply into my mouth and claimed it.
My jaw opened wider to take him, and he filled me like soil is quenched by pouring rain. His tongue plunged, lips swept, hands clutched.
I sunk against him, holding on. Opening and parting and absorbing each possessive movement as though I’d never been kissed before.
I may as well never have been.
He kissed deeper, and my breaths gasped. My head spun.
He drew back, suddenly. “Did hurting you?”
I sucked in breath and blinked my vision clear. “What?”
He touched my chest. “Hearing much fast.”
My racing heart managed a back-flip. He could hear my pulse?
I took the hand he presses to my chest. “No, Thor, human hearts race for lots of reasons.”
“For hurt and scare?” His brow wrinkled.
“Yes.” I squeezed his fingers, then shifted in and lay my cheek on his shoulder. “And for excited, and nervous, and aroused.”
He didn’t answer but held me. His fingers brushed between my shoulder blades.
“La La?” His breath whispered sweetly against my ear.
“Mmm?” I relaxed deeper into him.
“How did win second base?”
It was like a faucet opened above me. I jerked back, my eyes flying open.
Oh, god what had I done?
Given away second base when there were things I was supposed to ask for.
My heart smashed against my ribs. Simply because he’d said he liked me? Because he’d spoken directly to my deepest insecurities.
I should know myself and be able to guard myself better than this. Now there’d be worse, more intimate concessions to make to get what I needed from him.
He just watched me, waiting to be answered, with that guileless gaze of his.
“You impressed me.” I touched his cheek, giving him the respect of that truth.
He’d be hurt when I left. Just as I’d been hurt when I’d been left before. It wasn’t his fault our cultures and lives were incompatible. That I wouldn’t be able to survive and thrive as a warrior’s captive brood mare. Even if that warrior wasn’t all that heinous.
“You impressed me because where I’m from honesty, sincerity, commitment, and feelings aren’t so freely shared.”
He frowned. Did he wonder what that meant for us right now?
Guilt worked a sharp bullet of pain between my ribs.
He should be concerned about that.
“Would you like third base, Thor?” I stroked his gorgeous hair.
His entire body seemed to expand. “Yesss.”
“I have another quest for you.” There seemed to be nails in my throat. “If you brought me ten thousand nutrition pellets, it would prove that you could provide for me indefinitely.”
He turned his face into my palm. “It will be done, my La La.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, and my vision blurred.
A patient once told me when he confessed to a most terrible thing, that you don’t know the cruelty you’re capable of until you’re fighting for the terms of your exi
stence.
It’d chilled me then.
It chilled me again now.
But still, I fought.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“La La?” The rumbling voice drew me from sleep.
I blinked. Thor leaned over me, dressed in his cloak.
I scooted up. “You’re going somewhere?”
“Questing.”
“Oh.” I rubbed the center of my chest. It probably wasn’t the best idea to sleep in this dress. There wasn’t room to breathe. Especially less right now.
He was leaving to get me what I’d asked for…
“Will return to you in half a sun.” He crouched by the bed, his face a wrinkle of concern. “Not need have worry.”
Goddamn . He was too freaking sweet.
I reached out and set a hand on top of the one he rested on the bed. “Thank you, Thor.”
His attention moved to my touch on him, and he seemed to be absorbed in the sight. He lay his other hand over mine.
My chest constricted. He had a way of reacting like every contact between us was a gift.
“Will win third base.” His gaze moved to mine. “Will have touching you.”
My breaths rushed, my head getting light. “I know.”
He stood, and collected his helmet.
I watched him leave. The door groaned. I leaned forward and tugged the laces on the back of the dress twice, hard.
The bodice relaxed and I drew in long lungful’s of air. Except the lightheadedness didn’t let up.
“May we converse?”
I sat up straight. Macca asking permission before invading my brain again? “Yes.”
“Should the Baratican return with the requested pallets, there will only be one more task he can be assigned before you find yourself mated.”
I sagged back down on the bed. “Yes, I’m painfully aware.”
“And yet you gifted him kissing?”
I covered my face with my palms. Oh, god . There was never really privacy with Macca was there? “Haven’t you ever heard of an ice-breaker in negotiations?”
“An ice-breaker?”
“It’s where you concede a small thing in order to position yourself more favorably in requesting a larger thing.” I lowered my hands. Wow, that actually sounded legit. “Like a bazillion nutrition pallets.”
“Then well played.”
I hugged my arms. Played …
“I almost feared you’d succumbed to baser human desires.”
“They’re just chemicals remember?” I rolled out of bed, and collected a change of clothes from the pile.
“Perhaps you are more evolved than I first appreciated…”
I paused, setting the clean clothes down on a dry rock in the water room. What the hell was Macca buttering me up for? “So, am I to take it all emotion is beneath a Crestonian?”
“Don’t be facetious. Crestonians possess deep affection for their offspring, and passionate loyalty to their maternal family line.”
I removed my dress. “So how then, if they don’t succumb to base desires, do they partner?”
“A modest harem of men of compatible species are kept within each ruling family for pleasure or procreation. Otherwise marriages occur with otherworlder’s for political purposes.”
“Men kept for procreation…” I released a snort. Well, there you go. There had to be one planet in the known universe. But Macca’s words continued to roll around in my head. “Do Crestonians only produce female offspring?
“Yes, but—”
“So basically, they are the female version of Baraticans?” I stepped into the pond, the water dredging wonderful heat over my calves.
“Absurd. Most certainly not. Entirely different species.”
“So, what happens if a Crestonian and a Baratican do it?” I maneuvered to where the spring sprayed water out of the wall. “Will it be a girl or boy?”
“Baraticans only produce male semen, it’s always a male—but this is of no consequence, your imagination has distracted you yet again.”
I turned around and rinsed out my hair. Damn, the water felt good here. I shut my eyes and let the heat melt through me. “Then go ahead make whatever point you’ve been working up to, or I’m going to keep getting bored.”
“You must ask the Baratican for a replacement power cell.”
I swiped water out of my face. “What?”
“There will be no need to remain here until the escape pod rejuvenates if we can obtain an entirely new cell.”
I stepped out of the water, and dried myself with the used slip. “Why do I get the feeling this isn’t a simple request?”
“ It is not easy, but also not impossible for him to obtain.”
I squeezed out my hair. Somehow naked, I still felt as though I wore that damn corseted dress.
“He would do it for you.”
“I’m not so sure.” I pulled on a clean slip and underwear but didn’t bother with an overdress. “He knows I came here in an escape ship. He’s not stupid, and he won’t do anything he thinks could help me leave.”
“Have you more ice-breakers?”
I swallowed.
Ice-breakers.
What more could I give him that I could afford to part with?
The world turned upside and inside out. I ran through the woods. Rocks sliced my heels. I stumbled but kept going, scrambling through a thicket.
My heart throbbed in agonizing slams.
Can’t stop.
The whirling grew louder, swarming around me. I screamed, light flooding so sharply over me, my skin pulsed with burning waves. Gravity vanished. My feet left the ground. The tugging began.
Tugging toward the light.
To the heat.
I rose up over the trees, screams tearing out of me. The stream by the back of the cabin came into view. A man fished beside the water. I’d know that fishing hat anywhere.
“Uncle Syd,” I yelled, and waved my arms. “Help!”
He continued fishing. Oblivious to my shouts. Another figure emerged beside him, darkened in shadow. This one looked up.
Looked up and watched me wrenched away.
Weight settled in the center of my chest.
I came awake with a gasp.
A huge hand rested between my ribs. “Sleeping?”
Thor crouched in front of me. My pulse boomed. He probably felt the slam against his palm.
I took a calming breath. “Yes.”
Napping wasn’t a habit I tended to indulge. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep before he got back, but once I’d curled up on the couch, it’d been so easy to rest.
“Scare in sleep?” His mouth made a sharp line.
I scooted upright. “It was just a bad dream.”
He withdrew his hand. “Dream?”
I pressed my tongue to the roof of my dry mouth. Dream was a human word, and I hadn’t realized there wasn’t an equivalent in Baratican. “When you sleep and your subconscious imagines things?”
“Not have.” His mouth turned down. “Why imagine scare?”
That’s right, they didn’t sleep—they meditated.
“Not on purpose, it happens unconsciously.” I tucked hair behind my ear. “Sometimes it’s something completely random, or like today it’s a memory that gets all twisted up.”
His gaze flickered over me. “What did dream?”
“About the night I was taken from earth, but it was all backward.” I wiped sleep from my right eye with a knuckle. “It was daytime not night, and instead of being taken from my room while I was sleeping, I was running away through the woods.”
“You have imagining like memory?” He watched me, expression opening in wonder. “Seeing in head?”
“Yes.” I smiled. How adorable, he found the idea of dreaming fascinating. “See, and hear, and touch, and feel. Just like a real memory, but it’s not true.”
“What else happen?” His fingers brushed my knee.
“I got sucked up into the spaceship, and could see ev
erything underneath me, like my Uncle fishing at the stream, and I called out to him for help…but he didn’t hear.” I glanced across the room.
“Did dream more?”
I looked back to him. He watched me so closely. Was he just intrigued by the concept, or was he peeping in windows right now? “There was another man at the stream, standing behind my Uncle. He saw me.” I swallowed. “He saw me getting sucked up like that, and he didn’t care.”
The area between his brow made a vee. “Who man?”
“I couldn’t tell.” I rubbed my arm. “It looked like maybe he could’ve been my dad, or maybe he was my ex-fiancé. I don’t really know. Either way, both ways, he didn’t care what happened to me.”
“What is finsy?” The vee grew deeper.
I blinked. Fiancé ? Crap, that was human too.
“It means.” I searched for the word. “Betrothed?”
His teeth flashed, and a snarl tore through the room.
“Former.” I grabbed his shoulder. Shit . I’d almost forgotten Macca’s warning. “Former, betrothed.” I squeezed his shoulder harder. “I’m not betrothed anymore.”
His growl grew louder. Not his sexy let’s-make-mating growl—a snarly going-to-use-these-teeth-on-some-fucker growl. “Are betrothed.”
I withdrew my touch slowly; my heart rioting just like in the dream. “Really, I’m not.”
What was a jealous Baratican capable of?
“Are betrothed.” He planted one enormous hand on the couch beside me and leaned up. “Are betrothed to me .”
A flush flamed up my neck to my face.
I couldn’t respond. Because he wasn’t wrong.
He also wasn’t right .
“Thor not fail courtship like he.” He planted his free hand beside my other hip boxing me in. “Will win all favor, all courtship. Will have mating.”
My pulse hummed in my ears. The certainty I had that it would never come to that , that I would get away, that this was a game, bruised like rose petals in hail storm.
“Have won third base.” He reached down beside us and lifted a large leather sack, and placed it beside me. The contents clinked like coins. “Eleven thousand pallets.”
My heart seemed to move to my belly. Shit . A thousand more than I’d requested and everything about the way he looked at me now told me I’d be compensating for that bonus disk by disk.