Eric really wanted that new baby, didn’t he? Olivier flushed. “I haven’t.”
“Well, decide soon.” Eric rubbed his knuckles over Olivier’s belly. “It’s just another eighteen weeks, isn’t it? Then our new one will be here.”
“Our new one? But Jenn...”
Eric laced their fingers together. “You want Jenn to be yours, don’t you?”
He did, Olivier realized. He wanted Jenn to smile more at him, he wanted to watch her grow up, and perhaps, one day, she’d come tumbling into his arms, seeking comfort. He wanted to be someone important in her life.
“Maybe,” Ollie croaked.
Eric smiled, brushing his fingers through Olivier’s hair. “Then we’ll make it happen,” Eric murmured. “We’ll get married, become a proper family.”
Olivier forgot to breathe. You can’t possibly want me to marry you.
Could this really work out, him and Eric? With Ollie uncertain of himself, and Alice’s memory still hovering between them?
26
Eric
The dream began with Eric’s final year in college. He didn’t know how he knew, only that it was his exams and he’d forgotten his pencil case.
He sat at his desk, the booklet for Advanced Marketing Concepts blank before him. He needed to borrow a pen. But the desks around were empty, and the clock was ticking down.
“Do you need a pen?” a soft voice asked.
When he turned, he found an omega with red hair and green eyes. She smiled sweetly; relief washed through his veins.
“Yes,” Eric said. “Thanks.”
He began to scribble the answers to the exam questions. When he looked up, Alice was six years older, more weight on her body, her belly round.
“Her name is Jenn,” Alice said, a hopeful smile on her face. “Will you care for her?”
“Yeah. Of course,” Eric said with a swell of fondness toward his omega and baby. “I will.”
“I trust you,” she answered. “You’re good with children.”
“Not as good as you,” Eric said.
Alice laughed, squeezing his hand. “You’re such a flirt.”
“You don’t really think I’m flirting, do you?”
“No, I don’t. I just like teasing.” She grinned, and there was Jenn in her arms, swaddled up in pastel blankets.
For a moment, it felt like the old times again. Like everything would go right. They would be a happy family, there would be more children on the way, and Eric would be glad he married his best friend.
“What’s that?” Alice asked, pointing at the desk.
Eric looked back at his exam booklet, except it had turned into an emergency room form. His name had been filled in, his phone number, his address. Next of kin: Jennifer Lancaster.
He almost knew, before he looked up, what he would find.
“Why did you do this to me?” Alice asked. Blood trickled down her face, her skin deathly-pale, her body broken. “Why, Eric?”
Why? He didn’t know. He’d messed up.
Her gravestone rose behind her, the muddy pit yawning open, threatening to swallow him.
Eric woke with a strangled scream, his chest too tight, the sheets stuck to his sweaty skin.
Alice. Where was Alice?
Except it wasn’t his bedroom in Highton. The curtains were pastel pink, there was a violin mural on the wall, and the sheets smelled like carnation. Not Alice’s bluebell scent.
This was Olivier’s room. Alice was dead. He’d never see her again.
She isn’t Ollie, Eric told himself. All the same, Alice had been his best friend, and the bars that clamped around his heart squeezed tight.
He’d failed her. He’d gotten her killed, and Eric should’ve been gone instead of Alice. Alice was the one who had been better with Jenn, she had known what to do every step of the way.
Eric buried his face in his hands, his eyes wet. It took him a long moment to accept that he’d never see Alice again.
Then he wondered if she’d be okay with him taking Olivier as his bondmate.
His gut told him she would. Except there was a nagging little voice that asked, Why would she, when you were the one to cause her death? Why should you deserve happiness?
His heart aching, Eric staggered off the bed. He pulled on his shorts and trudged to the kitchen, where Ollie had Jenn in the high chair.
They hadn’t seen him. Jenn turned away when Ollie tried to feed her, so Ollie smiled and set the cereal on her tray. Jenn dug her spoon into the bowl.
“There,” Olivier said. “Have it your way.”
Ollie looked so confident with Jenn now, that it could’ve been Alice standing in his place instead.
At five months, Olivier’s belly was just a little rounder, almost stretching the shirt he wore—that was Eric’s. Ollie had worn almost all of Eric’s shirts, except for the Total Sounds one that Eric had brought home.
That was okay. Eric wasn’t sure Ollie had forgiven him entirely for bringing Total Sounds to Meadowfall.
He took a step into the kitchen; Ollie glanced up with a smile. “Eric! Wait, what’s wrong?”
Eric shook his head. It felt like there was a big, clumsy object in his chest. Was that his heart? “Bad dream,” he rasped.
“Oh.” Olivier winced. “Want to talk about it?”
“Dada!” Jenn said, reaching for Eric. “Goo goo wa!”
Eric sighed, leaning in to kiss the top of her head. “Nah. It’s nothing.”
Ollie watched him for a second longer, his gaze knowing. “Sometimes you say her name at night.”
Not Jenn’s, but Alice’s.
Shit. Eric hadn’t even been aware of that. He closed his eyes. Wanted to step out of the kitchen so he didn’t have to see Olivier’s face. “Anything bad?”
Olivier shrugged. “Here and there. I mean, she was your wife. I understand.”
He looked away, though, his smile wistful.
Eric swallowed hard. He didn’t want to ask what exactly he’d sleep talked about Alice. Didn’t want to know how much he had hurt Ollie with that. He’d kept his thoughts about Alice to a minimum in the day, but it seemed his subconscious still remembered.
To make up for it, Eric stepped over, pulling Olivier into a hug. “I love you, you know.”
Ollie sighed, his body thin in Eric’s arms. “I know. And I never take that for granted.”
Eric ran his fingers through Ollie’s wispy dark hair, breathing him in. The scent wasn’t bluebells.
But Olivier was his bondmate, and even though he was similar to Alice, there were differences. Like the way Ollie had begun to finish Eric’s sentences, the way Ollie pinched his ass, the way he hid in bed and peeked out over the sheets, waiting for Eric to join him.
And the way he was so eager to take Eric’s knot, too.
Eric fingered his phone through his shorts, wondering if the jeweler had started on his custom order. Ollie would like the rings, wouldn’t he?
“Ready for the ultrasound later?” Eric asked.
Olivier beamed, smoothing his hand over his belly. “Yes, I think so. I’m... I think I just felt a kick.”
The weight in Eric’s chest fell away. “Where?” His heart thumped. “I want to feel it, too.”
“I think it’s here.” Ollie set Eric’s hand on his abdomen, frowning in concentration.
Something faint bumped against Eric’s hand. Maybe it was just Olivier’s insides gurgling. Or maybe it was their baby responding to Ollie’s voice.
Eric’s heart missed a beat. “I think I felt it!”
“Did you?” Olivier smiled wider, his eyes sparkling. Eric’s heart swelled.
He loved Jenn, yes. But he’d never had a baby with Olivier, and he loved the thought of Ollie carrying their child, loved that Ollie wore his mark all over.
Eric knelt at Olivier’s feet, shoving up his shirt. Pressed kisses to Ollie’s belly, breathing in his carnation-and-honey scent.
“Hey,” he murmured. “I’m your other d
ad. You don’t hear much from me ‘cuz I’m not always hanging around your dad, but trust me—I’d hang around him all the time if I could.”
Olivier blushed. “You flirt.”
Eric grinned. “Only for you.”
He cradled Ollie’s belly, nosing at the dark line down his abdomen. Thought about the life inside, the hopeful new beginning it represented.
Alice would be happy for him, wouldn’t she?
Eric breathed in, his chest still tight. He wasn’t over her death yet. Probably never would be.
His heart sank like it was being dragged down. Still felt as though there was a cage in his chest, the same one he’d used to lock away his feelings for Olivier.
What if he’d opened the cage, only to have it still sitting in his chest? The dream this morning added another steel bar to it, squeezing around his heart.
What if Eric failed Ollie, like that almost-crash the other day? And the time Jenn choked on her food?
Eric dragged his wrists down Olivier’s thighs, leaving his scent on Ollie’s skin. Wondered if Ollie knew the weight he still carried.
“I’m responsible for Alice’s death,” Eric murmured, his breath snagging in his throat. “Think it’ll always stay with me.”
Olivier cradled his head, brushing Eric’s tears away. “We all make mistakes.”
“Some more terrible than others.”
“Like mine?” Olivier smiled lopsidedly.
“Like mine.” Eric huffed. “I killed Jenn’s mom, Ollie. I don’t know what to tell her when she grows older.”
Olivier winced. “It wasn’t your fault, Eric. It was an accident. And you’re still perfect to me, you know. You always have been.”
Eric chuckled. “That’s how you’re gonna see me?”
“Yup.”
“I can’t change your opinion?”
“Nope.” Olivier smiled. Then he leaned in, kissing Eric softly on the lips. His gaze was soft, his smile beautiful. “It’s always been you, Eric.”
Eric touched his phone again, wondering what a ring would look like on Ollie’s hand. What it would be like if they ever got married?
“O-eee,” Jenn said.
Eric froze, turning to stare at his daughter. “Say that again. Say ‘Ollie’.”
“O-eee.” Jenn grinned toothily.
“Oh,” Olivier said softly, a soft smile spreading through his face.
“Clever girl,” Eric said, getting up to drop a kiss on Jenn’s head. “You’re amazing. Say ‘amazing’.”
“A-la goo,” she said.
Eric sighed. “What about ‘cup’? Say ‘cup’.”
“Cup!” Jenn said.
“Say ‘dog’.”
“Dog!”
“Say ‘teapot’.”
“Peetot!”
Olivier chuckled. Eric grinned. “Good enough. Wanna start heading to work?”
Ollie blew out a sigh. “I guess.”
“You’ll have to send me the shop statements,” Eric said, scooping Jenn into his arms. She whined, reaching for her cereal. “I’ll look at the ad overview when we get home today. It’ll probably need some tweaking again—I’ve been working on the Total Sounds ads. We’ll need to re-optimize yours.”
It wasn’t difficult, either. Eric had been targeting Total Sounds on Olivier’s ads, so Ollie’s shop would appear on search results when people looked for Total Sounds.
Olivier squirmed. “As welcome as it is... I really don’t think you should be helping me, Eric. Someone might catch you.”
Eric shrugged. “I’m the regional manager. It’s not like there’s many people keeping track of what I do.”
“But—”
“‘Sides, I promised you, didn’t I? I got you into this mess, I’ll get you out of it.”
Olivier chewed nervously on his lip. Eric pulled him close, brushing his wrists all over Ollie’s skin.
Ollie had never returned the bonding mark, and Eric understood Ollie’s fear. But deep down, he wished Olivier would mark him. It wasn’t enough for Olivier to be his—he wanted to be Olivier’s, too.
His heart aching with longing, Eric shoved the thought aside, tugging Ollie to the bedroom to get dressed.
Forty-five minutes later, Eric pulled up at the Total Sounds branch on Prime Road, slipping in through the backdoor. He flicked on the lights, got the computers going. Fixed himself a cup of coffee. Minutes later, someone knocked on his office door.
“Come in,” Eric said, looking up from his computer.
Julia eased into the room, eyeing him nervously. She was a brunette and a beta, part of his staff on the morning shift. Probably the only person who showed up for work as early as Eric.
“What’s wrong?” Eric asked.
“I lost my locker key,” she said, fishing out her bright pink wallet. “I knew I had it here last night. I must’ve gotten drunk or something—it’s missing. I can’t open my locker.”
“I’ll get it for you.” Eric grabbed his ring of spare keys, heading with her to the employee locker room. “Which one is yours?”
Julia pointed hers out, breathing a sigh when he opened the locker for her. “Will I have to pay for a replacement?”
Eric was about to say yes, because it was company policy. But at the apprehensive look on her face, he shrugged. “I’ll cover it.”
“But—but... you made Bick pay for his!”
“Bick’s lost his key nine times.” Eric rolled his eyes. “This is your first time, so I’m giving you a free pass.”
“Thank you!” Julia beamed, looking as though she wanted to give him a hug.
Eric cracked a smile. “Just don’t do it again. I’ll get you a new key at lunch.”
He waited for Julia to get her things. Glanced at the Best Employee nomination chart on the wall. Golden star stickers had been stuck next to each name, for every time a customer or coworker voted for them.
At the very bottom of the list, someone had scribbled down Eric’s name. There was a row of stars next to it, too—almost as many as the top nominee of the month. Eric snorted.
“What?” Julia turned. “Oh! We didn’t see the team leaders’ names on there. Bick went and wrote your name down. I’m not surprised that you got so many stars.”
“I’m not even a team leader! Just your regular old regional manager.” Eric laughed. “Why are you guys putting me on the nominations?”
“Because we like you!” Julia grinned, then blushed. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I mean, you’re the best manager I ever had. Bick’s told me about the times you covered for him so he could fetch his son from childcare.”
Eric shrugged. “That’s basic human decency, Julia.”
“And not everyone has that.” She smiled shyly, then closed her locker and handed him the key.
When Eric returned to his office, there was a spring in his step. His coffee had cooled a little, but he didn’t mind. He logged back into his computer. Opened up his email.
Right on top of the complaint emails and company updates, there was a message from his boss.
Breach of conduct: Eric Lancaster.
Eric froze, reading the subject line a second time, then a third. Those at the corporate office couldn’t have known.
For months, Eric had been careful with erasing his trails at the workplace. He’d been sending a select few customers to Ollie’s shop each week, coaching Ollie in private on how to win their loyalty.
He’d adjusted Ollie’s ads so not all of them showed up alongside Total Sounds’, and he’d helped Ollie with a few other methods of advertisement that Total Sounds didn’t employ—signs on street corners, fun little guitar-shaped coasters in the mail.
And it had all been working.
He clicked into the email, his heart heavy with dread.
Eric, an anonymous source has tipped us off that you’ve been working with the competition in Meadowfall. I’ve enclosed some pictures. Should you fail to cease this behavior, your position at Total Sounds will be terminated.
He breathed out slowly, fighting the urge to slam his fist into the wall. Who tipped them off?
The pictures shouldn’t have meant anything. Eric could’ve just been friends with someone at Olivier’s store. Hell, he could’ve been using his connections to Total Sounds’ advantage. It didn’t necessarily mean he’d been working against his own company.
Except Eric didn’t have power here—the corporate office could just as easily replace him with someone else. Someone who would be ruthless with squashing out Olivier’s shop.
Heart pounding, Eric wrote back.
That’s my omega. I’ve been acquiring supplier information from him.
It wasn’t wrong. Eric had found out which suppliers Ollie had been using, and then told him what the cheapest suppliers were.
Ollie had cut down on his cost prices significantly. He’d been stocking up on products that Total Sounds didn’t carry, and that helped a lot in winning an audience for his shop, too.
His inbox chimed with a response.
Is this why your sales figures aren’t meeting the mark for a third Total Sounds branch?
Eric rubbed his temples. Yeah, it was. Except no one was supposed to know that. And if he continued to miss his targets... what would happen?
Your position will be reviewed by the HR manager, his boss wrote. I’ll get back to you shortly. For now, you’ll carry on as the regional manager for the Meadowfall branches.
Eric stared at his screen, the words burning into his retinas. Was he going to be fired? Maybe. But he was twenty-six, and he had the option of switching jobs.
Except whoever took over... It would be so easy for them to snuff out Ollie’s shop. All they had to do was bring in more products, offer the same services Olivier did. All for a lower price.
How do I tell Ollie this?
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