“God!” She raised her hands into the air with frustration. “Why do you even care?”
It was a good question. One he didn’t really have an answer to. “I’m a male resident of Haven. It’s my job.”
She just stared at him for a long moment then finally sighed and nodded. “I said I wouldn’t and I meant it.”
He was glad she’d bought his reason since it was a total lie. He didn’t much give a shit about the rules of Haven. He had his family’s backs and they were the only people he cared about. But it was as good an excuse as any for the way he was acting, so he’d go with it.
“Wait here while I get your crutches,” he told her gruffly. He quickly got out of the truck then strode over to her horse, who stood obediently at the back of the truck. He grabbed the crutches, adjusting them so they were longer. He made his way back to the passenger side of the truck, to see she’d already opened the door and had swung her legs out. Irritation bit at him, but he pushed it back. He’d already wasted enough of his day on Felicity O’Malley. He was determined not to waste any more.
3
“Jesus fucking Christ, can’t a man get a bit of peace? Are you stalking me now?”
West looked up from where he was sitting beside the pond. He’d just cracked a beer from the six-pack he’d brought with him. He liked it out here. He could sit in the peace and quiet and get away from his brothers and their craziness. A rare opportunity to just be by himself with his memories. This is where he went when he wanted to think about Lana.
“You’re drinking.” She swung down from her horse, looking pensive.
It had been a week since he’d last spoken to her, and he was glad to see the cast was off her foot. At least she hadn’t called his bluff about him talking to her brother. That had been a stupid move. He should have ignored her.
Obviously, she’d taken his interest in her to mean something. She’d been at the house every day since, which meant he’d spent all his days out on the ranch working, making sure to stay far away from her. He’d managed that successfully until tonight.
He wanted to be on his fucking own. He was in a dark mood. When he got like this, he said and did things he often regretted later. So when he felt the darkness encroaching, he’d take off. His brothers knew not to bother him.
“Yep,” he snarled. He needed to get rid of her. “I’m drinking. Not against the law as far as I know. A man can drink a beer on his own land.”
“But you’re driving.”
He sighed. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with her. “Not planning on getting drunk.”
“Oh, right.”
His answer to that was just to take another sip of beer.
There was some movement from her, but he didn’t turn, instead he kept his gaze purposely away from her. “What are you doing here, girl?”
“I was just riding past and I saw your truck. I thought I’d check on you.”
“Just riding past, huh? Only this isn’t on the path between your place and mine, is it?”
“Oh, no, but—”
“So, that means you purposely searched me out, right? Did someone tell you I was out here, and you came looking for me? Is that what happened?”
There was silence from her, and he took it as a yes. “I’m here because I want to be alone. That means I don’t want to see any of my family. It especially means I don’t want to see you.” It was a jerk thing to say. Even for him. And he had to force himself not to look over at her. He didn’t want to see how he’d hurt her.
Obviously, nothing he’d done before had penetrated, since here she was searching him out again.
“Actually, no one told me you were here. They were wondering where you were at dinner.”
He’d figured she’d be at dinner, which is part of the reason he’d decided to pass. “I don’t need to check in with them. I’m a fucking grown man. Fucking family dinners around the table, never happened before Mia came along.”
He didn’t mean it. But he was in a bad place and just spouting shit.
“You’re mad at Mia because now you have family dinners?” She looked confused.
“Things were fine the way they were. Didn’t fucking need changing.”
“I don’t understand you sometimes. You protect Mia like she’s made of glass and now you’re bitching about her.”
“I’m not fucking bitching about her,” he growled. “Mia’s a Malone. I’d fucking die for her. Doesn’t mean I have to play happy family every night. Not who we are.”
“I’d give anything to have your family. To have people who watch your back. Most people would kill for that.”
He nearly flinched. He had killed. Not to protect his family, but in revenge.
“Is that why you’ve been following me around? Pretending to be all sweet and friendly in the hopes I’d take an interest in you? Because you want my family?”
She sucked in a sharp breath. Her face paled. It felt like a blow to the gut, but he had to keep going. He had to make this stick, so she’d never look at him again with goddamn hope shining in her eyes.
“What are you talking about?” she whispered.
He waved his hand at her. “Look at you and tell me you’re not trying to pretend you can spread sunshine and glitter wherever you go. All the smiling and positivity, it’s giving me a toothache, sweetheart. Damn, baby, you need to learn who to target.”
“T-target?”
“You picked the wrong brother. If you wanted to latch onto one of us in order to worm your way into our family, I’m the worst choice. Mind you, the others aren’t real interested in settling down either and they can smell bullshit from a mile off. Best find yourself some other family to latch onto.”
“You weren’t a target. And I’m not latching on to your family.” Her eyes were wide, her face pale.
He made a scoffing noise. He had to push back any regrets he had in order to get the next part out. And even though it hurt like fuck, he forced himself to stare into those big eyes and savage her.
“Right. Then you want to explain to me why you’ve been following me around, making those big eyes, trying to flirt, and I do mean trying, cause, baby, you ain’t no good at it, and generally just making a nuisance of yourself?”
She stared at him. And those big eyes were no longer filled with longing or hope; they were glittering with unshed tears.
Fuck, you’re a huge fucking bastard.
“Maybe because I liked you.”
He heard the past tense of that word and had to fight back his own flinch. That was good. That was what he wanted. To make very certain she knew there would be nothing between them. To make very certain she knew he was not the type of man she ever wanted to start anything with.
“Good thing you no longer do then, huh, babe? Not sure why you ever thought we’d be suited. I like my women tall, curvy, and able to take the bad with the good.”
“Is there ever any good with you?”
He made himself give her a cruel smile. “Now you’re getting it. I ain’t a good guy. Shit I’ve seen, shit I’ve done. You knew any of that you’d run a mile, screaming. Man like me has more bad than good in him. Man like me doesn’t play. Never have. I make the rules and my woman follows. I lead. She obeys. End of story.”
Not that he’d ever had that. He hadn’t had a woman since Lana. And with her, he hadn’t been like that. Because back then he’d still believed in good. Despite the shit he’d seen and done. Shit that had only gotten worse when she died.
“Are you . . . are you a Dom?”
He narrowed his gaze. “Nope. I’m just me. This is how I am. All the time. I don’t ever shut this off. Type of woman I need will live and breathe this with me. Accept me for who I am. Take what I can give her and won’t moan about needing more.”
“I feel sorry for that woman,” she muttered. “She’ll have to be a freaking saint.”
“What she’ll have to be is real.”
“I’m real.” She glared up at him.
“Baby, you’re living in a freaking dream world. You’re so deep in your own head, you can’t even see when a man is completely wrong for you and totally uninterested.”
She winced. If he wasn’t already going to hell, he definitely was headed there now. And there was probably a special place for complete assholes who crushed little fairies with stars in their eyes and so much hope it was painful.
“Now I’m thinking you get where I’m coming from, yeah?”
“Yeah,” she whispered. “I get it.”
“Good. Then we can be done with this bullshit. Best you get back on your horse and on your way home. Little girl like you shouldn’t be out past her bedtime.”
He was shocked when she didn’t move.
“What you don’t seem to be getting is the type of woman I am.” Her voice sounded harsh. Wrong. Just wrong.
“I already got you pegged, kid.”
“No. You don’t. Because you seem to think that just because I like to see the best in people, that I don’t go around scowling and snarling and acting all woe-is-me all the time that I’m some naïve idiot.”
“Woe-is-me? Seriously? Do people actually say shit like that?”
“I do!” she yelled.
He stared at her. “Get why you want to yell at me, but you need to understand you do it again and I’m putting you forcefully on your horse and sending you on your way.”
“So you’re allowed to lay it all out, and I’m not even allowed to yell? Even though you are being a complete jackass?”
“Yep. That’s about it.”
“You’re right.”
“Know I am. Surprised you’re admitting it, though. Thought it would take more than that.”
“What? More than you being a total dick to me? No. I might be naïve, but I’m not stupid. And I get that you’re doing your best to scare me away,” she leaned in, “because I frighten you.”
He snorted. Even though she was hitting close to the mark. “Day a little five-foot-nothing pipsqueak scares me is the day I get on my horse, find myself a nice tree in the middle of nowhere, and lay myself down and die.”
“Oh my God, you are such a drama queen.”
“You wanna stop insulting me now. I get that being rejected hurts. That it hurts more because I was done sugar coating things for you. But I’m a man. And I’m a man who’s only going to allow you a few punches.”
“Or what? You’ll put me on my horse and send me on my way?” she asked.
“Yep.”
“Well then, you’d actually have to touch me to achieve that, and we both know you’re too scared to do that.”
With that, he was done. He stepped forward. He didn’t delight in the way she shied back. He didn’t want her to be afraid of him.
Her hating him, he could live with. Her being fearful of him, that cut deep for some stupid reason. Which is why he hadn’t wanted it to come to this. But it had. And he had to see it through.
“I ain’t scared of touching you, baby. Touching you would be no hardship.” She backed up against a tree and he reached out to cup her face. “But a girl like you, you wouldn’t be able to handle what I’d want from you. You couldn’t do no strings if your life depended it. The second I fucking took you, you’d be dreaming up some bullshit about marriage and babies and happy-ever-fucking-after.”
He knew she’d already been dreaming that shit up. Saw it in the way her eyes closed briefly. He leaned in.
“Girl like you, needs patience, needs gentle, needs normal. You couldn’t handle me. I’m doing this to help you, girl. Because you need to get over this idea that I’m the man for you. I. Am. Not.”
“Yeah, I’m getting that loud and clear. I still say you’re scared.”
He grasped her face between his hands, knowing it was a stupid thing to do, and he kissed her. He didn’t hold back. Didn’t move slow and gentle to build it up to something big. He went straight for the kill.
He dragged one hand away from her face, down to her breast. He slipped his hand under her lightweight jacket. Fuck, didn’t she know it got cold here at night? And she’d come out wearing next to nothing?
Not your fucking problem. He cupped her breast, running his finger over her already stiff nipple. She gasped and he flicked his tongue into her mouth. Fuck yes. For a moment, he forgot this was a lesson. Forgot everything but the taste of her. The sweetness that burst along his tongue.
So long. So long since he’d tasted sweet. And his body fired to life. Years of his own hand around his dick, only interspersed by the occasional trip to the city to fuck someone he didn’t even know. Then back to his hand.
And none of it had felt good. Or right. Or clean.
She felt all of those things. And more.
Fucking everything.
Damn it. As that thought hit him, he realized he’d lost control of his little lesson. He pulled back, trying to hide how much that kiss had affected him. He took another two steps back.
“Go home, girl. Don’t come back.”
Silence, except for her harsh breaths, coming fast. Shallow. Then she moved, straightened.
“You got your say. I get mine.”
“Girl—”
“I get the sort of man you are now. Don’t worry, I really do get it. And I won’t be back. You won’t need to suffer through my presence in your life.”
Ouch. Direct hit to the gut again. But this is what he’d wanted, so he wasn’t going to protest now.
“You’re also right that I live in my head. ’Cause it’s safe there. Because nothing harms me there. My mistake was opening the gates and allowing you entry without realizing you weren’t worthy.”
More blows. But he remained still, not giving her anything back.
“It might seem like my life is sunshine and glitter and rainbows, but you don’t have the monopoly on having bad shit in your life, West.”
Okay, he didn’t like the sound of that. And the fact that he really didn’t like hearing that made him bite back without thinking.
“Not sure our bad shit is on an equal par, girl. What happened? You didn’t get invited to the prom?”
“I’m twenty-five not sixteen, asshole.”
“Yeah? Then what are you talking about?”
“Like I’d tell you now. The gate is firmly closed. You’re on one side, I’m on the other. And don’t worry, I won’t make the mistake of letting you in again. Good luck with life, West. Fuck knows you’ll need it.”
Okay, her swearing at him hit him harder than he’d thought it would. And he couldn’t work out why. He had no objection to a woman swearing. But hearing “little miss sunshine shines out my ass” swear just didn’t seem right to him.
“Girl—”
He looked over to find she’d already moved. Fuck, how did she move so damn quietly? He stared over to where she was standing next to her horse. The stallion was fucking huge, no way she could get on herself. He stormed over, knowing he’d have to put his hands on her one last time to help her up, but he was brought to a halt as the horse knelt and let her on. Then it moved back onto its hooves, and without a look back, she was gone, racing in the direction of her ranch.
Leaving him alone.
Just the way he wanted it. Right?
She rode Beast as fast as she dared in the waning light. Tears blurred her vision, so she let him lead, knowing he’d head home. Beast was a special horse. He was all she’d had for years. Her best friend, really.
Pathetic, Flick.
She’d hoped the move to Haven would change her life. And she’d thought it had. She’d made friends in town. The women of Haven were looked after by everyone. The men were dominant but protective. It had seemed like a dream come true after living much of her life in isolation or around toxic people who didn’t understand her.
She’d thought this place was it. Her chance to build a life. Find a real family. Break her way free.
But she’d fucked it all up. Why him? Why did she have to set her sights on him? He was
such a jerk. Asshole. Bastard.
But the worst of it all is that she couldn’t blame him. Because she’d known. She’d been told. Over and again.
West Malone wasn’t a man you messed with. West Malone didn’t do soft and gentle. West Malone would never love again.
Obviously, he’d loved before. And loved hard if he intended to live the rest of his life with just her memory for company.
“His loss, right, Beast?”
Her horse didn’t answer. And she knew if he could, he’d be calling her all kinds of foolish. He’d be telling her to get real. Because West was right. She lived in her head. Where it was safe. And kind. And she got to have a happy ever after.
But she should have known life didn’t have that planned for her. She’d been an idiot, setting her sights on the untouchable. She should have found someone sweet and gentle, like West had told her to. Someone normal.
But she’d taken one look at those Malone boys, with all their craziness, humor, and insane loyalty and she’d wanted that for herself.
Oh, hell. Had he been right? Had she wanted him for his family?
She thought about that for a minute. Maybe in the beginning. But if all she’d wanted was his family, then she would have chosen an easier brother. There was nothing easy about West Malone. And when she really thought about it, she knew she’d take West Malone, family or not.
She entered the house, her mind still raced with everything West had said. Every mean word. She didn’t know why he thought he got to be an asshole to her. It wasn’t like she’d been actually stalking him. If he’d just told her to back off, that he didn’t want her, it would have been enough.
After what he’d done, she knew she wouldn’t be going back to the Malone ranch in a hurry, and that hurt as well. Now, she no longer had those crazy boys making her laugh. She didn’t have Mia’s sweetness and friendship, and that hurt so bad it made it hard to breathe. Once again, she had nothing.
Walking into her house, that usual shiver of dread ran down her spine. Part of it was the house. She knew the story of this place. How the previous owner had gotten into bed with the mob, and it had cost him his life. The same mob guys that had kidnapped Mia. Right there, in that living room, was where Osborne had died. Was where Mia had been held and terrorized.
How West Was Won (Haven, Texas Book 7) Page 3