“Are you okay?” he asked as he turned the doorknob.
“Yes, I am fine,” I said as the door opened up. “Just a little embarrassed that is all.”
“No, there is something more to it,” he said studying my tear stained face.
“No, it’s just me. I am being silly.”
“I’ll get my things and leave. I do not want you to be upset.”
“No, Josh, please don’t do that. I really need your help around here and prefer that someone who knows what they are doing to work the farm. As you can see, I do not have a clue, especially the equipment.”
“I’ll stay, but I am moving into the barn.”
“I cannot let you do that. My conscience will eat away at me.”
“Okay, then I will only come in for meals and have minimal conversation.”
“I told you, this has nothing to do with you. It’s my own personal things that are making me this way.”
“I don’t want to see you cry. It breaks my heart. A beautiful woman should never have tears in her eyes.”
“Thanks,” I said with downcast eyes. I could feel my cheeks flush.
“Why do you always turn red when I compliment you?”
“I don’t know. I have always been that way, even when my husband did it.”
“You must have been flushed through most of your marriage then.”
“I was,” I laughed. “I think he liked to make a game out of it. He would count how many times he could get me to blush.”
“Even on your wedding day,” he said looking over my shoulder at the wedding picture that still sat on my dresser.
“Especially on our wedding day,” I said. “If you only knew the things he whispered in my ear before that photo was taken.”
“He sounds like he was fun.”
“He was a blast to be around. He was always cracking jokes.”
“I would have liked to have met him.”
“I believe he would have you, too. Let’s go back down stairs as I have a pasta salad to finish making.”
“Okay, I am done with the pickles. I am going to feed the horses and work a little more with the colt.”
“Okay, I will let you know when dinner is ready.”
“Sounds good to me.”
We walked down the stairs. He went outside. I went to the kitchen to finish making the pasta salad. I called Alison.
“I need to talk to you. Is there anyway I can come over later?”
“Yes, of course. You sound upset. Are you okay?”
“Not really, but I will explain everything later.”
“Okay, how about after dinner?”
“Sounds good, but this needs to be a private conversation.”
“That is not a problem as tonight is Bob’s bowling night.”
“Great, I will be there in a couple of hours.”
“See you then, sweetie.”
“See you then.”
I put some coals in the barbeque grill and lit them up. Tonight, we were going to have steak and baked potato all made on the grill. It was too nice to cook inside. He saw what I was doing and came over.
“Do you need help?”
“What, because I am a woman I don’t know how to cook on the grill?”
“Now, I never said that. I think grills are equal opportunity cookers. I have had many meals off the grill. There are some women I know that can out cook any man on a grill.”
“Know a lot of girls, huh?”
“No, although it did sound like that, didn’t it?”
“Yes, it did,” I said with a laugh. “I was just teasing you.”
“I know,” he said with a smile as he reached for my hand. “Are we okay? Are we going to be okay?”
“We will be fine,” I said letting him take my hand. The rough calluses on his palm reminded me of John’s hands. His hands never went a day without a callus since we owned the farm. I found myself imagining his hands running down my naked skin. I let go of his hand.
“Are you sure? Because that fast pull away did not feel like we are fine.”
“We are, I promise,” I said. “I am going to go over to Alison’s after dinner for some girl time.”
“Okay,” he said. “I will keep the ship afloat while you are gone.”
“Okay, first mate, you do that,” I smiled. He laughed. He went back to working with the colt. I finished cooking dinner. We ate out on the porch. After dinner he helped clear away the dishes. He loaded the dishes into the dishwasher for me. I grabbed my purse.
Heading out the door I said, “I don’t know when I will be back, so I will say good night now.”
“Good night, Claire. Tell Alison I said hello.”
“I will do that. She will be thrilled that you did not stumble with her first name this time,” I laughed as I walked out the door. I climbed into my truck. I saw him watching me out the window as I started it up. I waved and he returned it. I drove over to the Everett’s farm. I was pulling in as Bob was getting in his truck to leave.
“Hey, Alley said you were coming over to talk. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, it’s girls stuff. Trust me, Bob, you don’t want to know.”
“On that note, I will leave. I hope it all gets sorted out, whatever it is.”
“I am sure it will. You have a good night.”
“You girls do the same.”
I got out of my truck and went inside. I found Alison in the kitchen making coffee.
“Hey, you, Bob catch your ear?”
“Yes, until I told him we would be discussing girly stuff.”
“That is why he left in a hurry,” she laughed. “You know the manly men never want to speak of girl problems. What is going on?”
“Alison, does Josh remind you of John at his age?”
“Yes, I saw the similarities. Bob said I was crazy. I am sorry if it is too much for you. I can have Bob find him a different farm.”
“No, he is a good worker and I can use his help. It’s not the similarities that bother me.”
“He is hot, isn’t he?”
“You know me way too well,” I laughed.
“You two did look comfortable shopping together today.”
“Which reminds me, he said to tell Alison he said hello when I was walking out the door.”
“You’re kidding; he actually used my first name?”
“No stumbling, either,” I said.
“Oh be still my beating heart, the hotness said my name.”
I nearly spit my coffee out. “You are so bad!”
“What did you need to talk about?”
“I accidently kissed him.”
“What did those lips feel like?”
“Alison!”
“Come on, I have to live vicariously through you now.”
“What I wanted to talk to you about was it upset me so much I ran away from him. I went up stairs and cried for God only knows how long. I felt like I committed the ultimate sin in my marriage.”
“Honey, you know that John is not able to come back to you,” she said as she grabbed my hand.
“I know, but I still feel like I am committed to my husband.”
“You will always be committed to your husband. You took the vow of until death do us part. Unfortunately, it did. He has been gone for two years. He will always be your first love, but it is time you moved on. Your own happiness needs to come first. Now, tell me what kissing those lips were like.”
“You are an evil, evil person,” I laughed. “It is definitely one of the reasons I have always loved you.”
“Someone has to be the instigator in this relationship. Stop avoiding my question and tell me everything.”
“Okay, we were in the kitchen. I was flirting with him. I don’t know what came over me. It must be the lack of sleep. He started it. I had grabbed a cutting board and forgot to get him one. He reached around me. I felt his hand on the small of my back and his abs up against me. I apologized for not getting him a cutting board. He said some
thing, then I said something in a flirty tone. He reached over and kissed me on my cheek, telling me John would be proud of me. I said I wanted to thank him, so I leaned to kiss him on the cheek. He turned to say something else and my lips landed on his. I was mortified. I was so embarrassed. He said it was no big deal. Before dinner, he held my hand. I found myself imagining them running down my body. Alison, what am I supposed to do?”
“Sleep with him,” she answered.
“Alison, are you crazy? He is twelve years younger than we are.”
“And that just means it will be fun.”
“Oh my God, you are not any help.”
“Yes, I am. I say go for it. Look, he is very handsome, he likes you, you like him, why are your questioning it? Sleep with him and then come back here and tell me all the dirty details.”
We both laughed.
“You always know how to get me to laugh about things, even if you are being evil.”
“How is this evil? You are single woman. It may not be by choice, but John would not have wanted you to be alone for the rest of your life. You are already thinking about it. And I, personally, do not blame you in the least. So open up your heart and other parts of your body and let him take you to another place. See, you are blushing like crazy. What are you waiting for? Go home and climb into bed with him.”
“I love you, Alison, but it is not happening tonight, if it happens at all.”
“Oh it will,” she said with a grin. “Hopefully, before Saturday so you can tell me everything.”
“Be quiet,” I laughed.
“If my husband only knew what ‘girly stuff’ really meant,” laughed Alison.
“He would forbid us from ever speaking to each other ever again.”
“Poor, sweet Bob, he as no idea about all the dirty stuff that runs through my head. Which reminds me, have you seen Josh half naked yet?”
“Yes, more than once.”
“Oh, really,” Alison quipped.
“Yes, the first time he was working outside with the horse, but put his shirt on before he came in, then he did not bother with the shirt while we were eating lunch today. I had to take a shower after lunch. Then before we went shopping he was showering with the door open. I caught a glimpse of just about everything as he was coming out of the shower. He came out of the bathroom in just a towel.”
“Oh, he wants you.”
“I don’t think he does.”
“He is showering with the door open and not putting his shirt on, he wants you. He is practically inviting you to look at him naked. Why are you still sitting here?”
“Because I am hoping he goes to bed before I go home.”
“In yours or his?” she asked with a smirk.
“I will never share my bed with another man other than my husband.”
“So what you are saying is when you do sleep together it will be in the downstairs bedroom.”
“We are not going to be sleeping together.”
“You know just as well as I do, it will happen. To be a fly on the wall when that takes place,” Alison said with a shudder.
“You are such a pervert.”
“I know, isn’t it great to have a friend like me?”
“It is. You definitely keep me entertained. I miss nights like this.”
“So do I. We need to get together more often, now that you are up to it.”
“You just want to know all the assorted details of my nonexistent love life.”
“I told you, I have to live through you.”
“I am going home, crazy lady.”
“Okay, give Joshua a big kiss from me,” she laughed.
“You are so bad,” I said as I hugged her.
“I always have been,” Alison said returning my hug.
I drove home with a smile on my face. I kept laughing at the things Alison said. I walked in the front door to see Josh watching TV in the living room on the left side of the door.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Everything is great,” I said with a smile. “Alison said to tell you hello. She didn’t believe that you actually used her first name.”
“I will do it again on Saturday to prove it. That is if I am still going with you.”
“Of course you are.”
“Great, I am looking forward to it.”
“So am I,” I said. “Oh, and I did not tell her you were making pickles.”
“Oh good, it can still be a surprise.”
“Yes, it will. What are you watching?”
“Some movie, I came in a few minutes after it started. I have no idea what it is. It just started about 15 minutes ago.”
“Is it any good?”
“So far,” he said.
“Want some popcorn? I’ll make it and watch it with you.”
“Sure that would be great. I would have already made it, but didn’t know where it was and didn’t feel comfortable rummaging through your cupboards.”
“I keep it in the cupboard above the microwave.”
“Good to know,” he said. I popped the popcorn and poured it into a bowl. I grabbed a drink and went into the living room. I put the popcorn bowl between us on the couch. We watched the movie in silence. The movie turned out to be about a murder that took place in a small town. The detectives were on a manhunt for the killer amongst the town. It turned out it was someone no one had expected, the priest. By the end of the movie, I was sitting next to him with no bowl in between us. His arm was around my shoulders.
“That was one crazy movie,” he said.
“I know, can you imagine Father Smith doing that?”
“No. He cared so much about his parishioners.”
“Do you go to church?”
“Not anymore, though every time I see the Father he tries to get my back into his pews.”
“He does the same thing with me. Thanks for letting me watch the movie with you. I am beat, I am going to bed.”
“You’re welcome. Good night, Claire. I will see you in the morning.”
“See you in the morning, Josh,” I said standing up. He stood up with me. He was blocking me from getting to the stairs. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. It felt great to be held in a man’s arms again. His muscular arms encircled my torso. I could feel his pectoral muscles through his t-shirt. Closing my eyes, I returned his hug. I could smell the soap he used in the shower. I breathed in deeply. We let go at the same time.
“I hope tonight you get some sleep,” he said as he stepped aside to let me pass by.
“Thank you. I am sure that tonight it will not be a problem.”
“Good,” he said.
I walked up the stairs to my bedroom and shut the door. I placed my ear to it, listening for his footsteps on the stairs. I only heard the bedroom door below me shut. I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed. I would have let him in had he come knocking. I fell fast asleep. Tomorrow was another day.
3 Three Days later
I woke up to the smell of food being cooked. I looked at the clock. It was 8:30. I had over slept. I quickly got dressed and went down stairs.
“Josh, I am so sorry. Let me finish cooking.”
“No, you just sit yourself down,” he said. “I was going to bring you breakfast in bed, but you ruined my surprise.”
“I never meant to sleep this late.”
“You obviously needed it. The animals have all been fed. I even took the tractor out and tilled up some of the land for the late summer into fall planting that needs to begin.”
“You are amazing.”
“You think that is amazing, wait until you eat the breakfast I am making you.”
“What are you making?”
“You will see when it is finished. I believe that eating it on the porch will be best.”
“Okay, I will set the table,” I said, smiling.
“Sounds good, but you are not allowed to look at the stove. I will get you the dishes, if you tell me where they are.”
> “The dishes are in the cupboard to the left of the stove.”
He grabbed two plates, forks, knives, and napkins. I went to the porch. I set the table. Glancing in the window, I could see him looking out at me smiling. I smiled back at him. I went back inside and he handed me a cup of fresh brewed coffee. I took his cup outside with me. I sat down, looking over the farm. A sense of happiness came over me. I had not felt it since the passing of John. I did not know if I should feel wrong about it, but had decided last night that I was going to live my life one day at a time. If having Josh here was causing me to be happy, then he could stay until it wore off. Alison had a point. I needed to start being happy and living my life for me. The slamming of the screen door jolted me from my daydream.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he said.
“It’s okay. I was just daydreaming about the farm.”
“Memories?” he asked.
“Sort of, it is more of taking life one day at a time from here on out.”
“Remind me to thank Alison on Saturday.”
“For what?” I inquired.
“Opening your eyes to this new way of thinking,” he answered with a smile.
“How do you know it was her and just not something I decided on my own?”
“Because you were different when you came back from talking with her,” he said.
I shook my head and smiled. “She definitely helped me get through what was ailing me. She is a great friend. I am glad she has always been there when I really needed her. So, what is for breakfast?”
“This morning’s feast consists of over easy eggs, biscuits and sausage gravy, fresh squeezed orange juice, and a fruit bowl.”
“I hope you are not expecting me to eat all of this.”
“Just a little bit of everything, not a lot,” he said.
“Okay, a little bit of everything I can handle.”
He began with placing a half of a biscuit and some sausage gravy on my plate. He put an egg on top and some fruit on the side. I had never had someone make a plate for me. It was a welcomed change. He poured a glass of orange juice. I waited to begin until he made his own plate. The first bite was like heaven exploded in my mouth. He definitely knew his was around the kitchen.
“This is excellent,” I said.
“Thank you,” he said. It was his turn to blush.
The Stable Boy Page 4