by Unknown
I turned away from her so that she wouldn’t have to see the tears which were forming in my own eyes. “You should go home Sis,” I said while trying to sound as calm as possible. “You heard what Akito said, it’s probably best to stay away from me.”
“Daisuke-”
“I’m not really a super exorcist, I’m not even human. You should leave before its too late!”
“No,” said my sister. She reached down and hugged me like I was a child again and I didn’t have the heart to push her away. “I won’t leave!” She said while gripping me so tightly that her fingers began digging into my shoulders. “It’s still too early to lose hope, maybe it’s all just a mistake-”
“It’s no mistake Sis,” I said while thinking of the dark cave covered in my blood. “I saw it. What I was, what I could become again.”
“Don’t say that!” Cried my sister. “It doesn’t matter who you are or where you came from, you will always be my younger brother!”
“For now!” I said. “But what happens if I turn back into an Obake one day? What happens if I do something horrible to either you or Hikaru? How can you let that happen?”
“But it shouldn’t,” said Akito. He emerged from his study with a pile of scrolls and papers balancing in his arms. “The seal which is keeping your monster powers in place is surprisingly strong, and I doubt that it will fail soon. Theoretically you should still be able to live without having to worry about suddenly regressing back into an Obake.”
“See,” said my sister. I could see the hope in her eyes and it made me feel terrible. “Nothing has to change.”
My eyes flicked from my sister to Akito, and then back to my sister again. She seemed to desperately believe whatever Akito had to say. I sat their silently while thinking about his words. If that was true, then it meant that I might have the chance of living out my days as an ordinary human being without anyone knowing that I was really a monster on the inside. As much as I wanted to lock myself away from the rest of the world, part of me still wanted to continue my regular life.
“Are you sure Akito?” I asked. “Can I really stay like this forever?”
“Forever is a long time Daisuke,” said Akito. “Obake’s lives are a lot longer than humans so you may outlive us all, but if everything goes well you can live out the rest of your days as you are now.”
“See Daisuke,” said my sister. “Isn’t this great news!”
I wanted to tell her that it didn’t change anything and she would still be co-existing with a monster, but as much as I didn’t want to see my sister hurt, I couldn’t deny that I wanted to go home. I wanted to go back to my bed, crawl under the covers, and try to pretend that everything was normal again.
“See, there’s nothing to worry about,” said my sister as she gently patted me on the back. "But it probably isn't best to tell-”
I finished her sentence. “Shuro and Hikaru. It’s okay, I won’t tell them anything.”
I didn't know if Shuro could cope with having a monster for a younger brother. I was certain that he still slept with a night light.
“We better start heading home,” said my sister and she stood up to leave. "I need to make Hikaru's lunch for tomorrow." Sis placed her hand before me and patiently waited for me to take it.
I looked at her and was overwhelmed with a sense of deja vu. I was reminded of the day my grandfather died. The neighbors saw him fall down in the garden and he was immediately rushed to the hospital where he soon passed away. I sat by his bedside until I was pushed out into the waiting room. All the doctors and nurses looked at me with pity as the hours passed and no one came to collect me. But all of a sudden Sis was there. Her eyes were red and puffy and she held my hand and took me away. Maybe she said something kind back then as well.
My gut told me to push her away and live out the rest of my days at headquarters like a hermit. But I felt like a small frightened child who was looking for anyone to take them home.
And before I knew it I had already taken my sister's hand and she was gently leading me away.
* * *
As dramatic as it sounds I felt like Daisuke the human boy died that day, and then only Daisuke the boy who used to be a monster was left. Despite my sister’s best intentions, I felt like it was impossible for things to return to the way they were before. Hugo and Nina's brother must have also felt the same and pushed to make me stay at headquarters (preferably in a cage) but Akito insisted that Sis had the experience to take care of me in case something went wrong.
I didn't have the energy to talk to Shuro or play with Hikaru, so I went straight to my room when I got home. I sat on the bed and stared at my personal effects and furniture like I was seeing them for the first time.
I decided that it didn’t look like a monster’s room. If anyone tried to rob our house I’m sure they'd see nothing but a teenager's bedroom. But despite its ordinary appearance and my dirty laundry on the floor, it was a monster's home. It was a monster’s bed, a monster’s desk, and a monster’s rock collection from elementary school. I was just like Hugo’s story of a hamster monster that grew up thinking it was a real animal until it started eating the pet shop staff one by one.
I picked up the photo of Grandpa which sat on my bedside table. He looked like a sweet old man who would give candy to children, but just looking at his face pissed me off. I opened one of my drawers and tossed the photo inside. I heard the glass crack, but I didn't care at all. I also had another photo of my sister and I from when I was a kid, but it was from so long ago that I couldn’t remember having the picture taken. I picked up the photo frame to examine it more closely. It was hard to believe that the cute kid smiling brightly in the picture used to be a monster who may have done terrible things.
I could faintly see my own reflection in the glass photo frame. I sat there staring at myself and looking for anything abnormal, but all I could see was a tired fifteen year old boy.
When I first started training to become an exorcist, Akito once told me that Obake could be born or come into existence like nature. I could also vaguely remember him mentioning something about humans with strong grudges. I knew nothing about my real parents. I had spent years wondering who they were, but I had to accept that they might not exist, or even worse, they could be out there somewhere munching on humans.
It made me wonder if there were other monsters disguised in human form who lived among people like me. Itsuki once told me that his friend's stepmother had been an Obake. She didn't seem like she wanted to hurt anyone, but he still told the organization the truth and they destroyed her. I tried to convince him that he'd done the right thing, but now all I could do was hope that it was possible for humans and monsters to coexist in peace.
There was a knock on my door. I thought it might have been my sister back for another pep talk, but instead I heard Shuro’s voice
“Daisuke,” said Shuro. “I got this great new game? I know your sister wants me to teach you math, but all the guys at work keep talking about this so I thought we could play together."
I didn’t have the courage to face Shuro. I wasn’t good at lying like Sis, and I didn't believe that I could keep acting normal around him. I decided that it was better to avoid Shuro than risk him seeing through my badly created facade and discovering the truth.
“Daisuke are you in there?” Asked Shuro again.
“I’m sorry,” I called out to him while trying to sound as normal as possible, but I could hear my voice tremble. “I feel kind of tired. I think I might go to sleep.”
“But it’s seven o’clock,” said Shuro through the door.
“I’m sorry,” I replied. “I don’t feel so good.”
There was silence from his side, and I began to fear that he could already sense something was wrong.
“Okay, make sure to get lots of rest,” said Shuro. I could hear him turn away from the door and begin walking back down the corridor.
I sighed. I felt terrible for lying, but what other choice did
I have? It wasn’t just Shuro that I was worried about. What I didn’t have the courage to tell Akito or my sister was that the man in my dreams wouldn’t have had any use for a cute little monster, or a teenage ex-human. Kousuke Matsumoto would have been after something more deadly and powerful that he could utilize for revenge.
I just hoped that my intuition was wrong.
Chapter 13
I thought it was pointless to continue the whole super exorcist routine, so I decided to come clean to my friends. I already felt bad about lying to Shuro and everyone at school, so the least I could do was be honest with the people who actually knew about monsters. Mana and Nina looked a little taken back, Kurumi was as impassive as always, but Taisei and Kiyori just stared at me in awe like I was a brand new toy.
“It talks,” said Kiyori as he poked me with a stick like I was an exotic insect.
“Hey stop it!” I said while trying to fend of his assault with my arm.
“You guys don’t hate me?”
“Hate you? Why would we hate you,” said Taisei as he casually rested one elbow on my shoulder. “We are like the only branch ever who has their own personal attack monster, just wait till I tell all the other exorcists. They’re going to be so jealous!”
“But aren’t you worried about me being some terrible killer monster?” I asked.
“Nah,” said Taisei. “You probably don’t know this but there are lots of good Obake out there as well.”
“Yeah, we just never see them because we're too busy killing the bad ones,” said Kiyori.
I was overjoyed to have some friends on my side, but I had to protest when Taisei started trying to take pictures to add to his photo wall.
“Come on, you’ll be like the main attraction,” said Taisei. I covered his camera lense with my palm to stop him from taking more pictures. “Why won’t you just pretend to be dead so that we can take a group picture in front of you. I got Kurumi to burn one of my old school uniforms just so it'll look like you were beaten by Itsuki and everything.”
I almost agreed to it until Taisei realised he could make the pictures more realistic by setting me on fire. He said that it was all part of his super secret plan to convince the organization that I was dead, but I knew he just wanted a cool photo.
Souta was a little more hesitant compared to Taisei and Kiyori. He curiously watched all three of us like he was still trying to judge whether I was okay or not.
Itsuki had been unnaturally happy (and even stopped trying to kill me) after everyone acknowledged that he'd been right all along. I saw him humming in the living room, but I doubted that his happy mood and smiles wouldn’t last long before he tried to have me killed again. I knew that Itsuki’s hostility towards monsters was nothing which could be solved over night, so I decided to confront the problem by talking to Itsuki myself. I also managed to find an ancient copy of Obake are our Friends from behind a library shelf. It only had twenty pages, but I thought it was enough to get my point across.
“Hey Itsuki,” I said as I approached him in the hall. He stopped and stared at me blankly, but it was better than all the times that he shunned me.
“I’m sorry that no one took your side and believed you," I said. "And now it’s great that every one knows that you were right, but don’t you think it’s time that we put an end to this animosity between us?” I said nervously as I noticed that he didn’t share my enthusiasm. “Things don’t have to be this way man, Obake can live in peace and harmony alongside people. Check this out.” I flipped through the book and pointed to one of the ancient pages. “It says here that the Zhang clan in Sichuan China have been living peacefully with Obake for centuries. The Obake even protected them from foreign invaders and helped them to construct housing and farmlands.”
“That’s the way things used to be,” said Itsuki. “Until those monsters betrayed them during a famine and ate everyone alive.”
The book dropped from my hands and landed with a thud on the carpet.
“Look,” said Itsuki sternly. “I know that you didn’t know anything, and even now you don’t know who you really are, but I have no intention of ever being friends with you again. I’m one of the organization's exorcists, so I will respect Akito’s decision for the time being, but if you make even one attempt to hurt my friends, I will dust you without a second thought,” and with that he spun on his heals and quickly walked away. I thought he looked a little sad, but that could have been my imagination.
Our chat hadn’t gone as well as I hoped, but on the positive side we were now talking which was definitely an improvement. Itsuki also stopped glaring at me every time we were in the same room which was great.
I considered skipping school until forever (who ever heard of an Obake going to school?) but every time I was alone with my thoughts I would begin to mull over my situation and it was driving me insane. Nina’s brother and Hugo also looked more threatening. There was one time when I thought my freedom would come to an end when I overheard them talking in the garden.
“I don't know why Hugo,” said Nina’s brother as he and Hugo practiced charms. “But I have a strange feeling that Kanako Matsumoto may be bluffing about that.”
“Really? Why do you think that?” Asked Hugo.
“It's hard to explain why," said Nina's brother. "Maybe it was the tone of her voice, or her lack of any physical evidence, but I thought I had been so careful. I didn't think that anyone could possibly know about that.”
“If you think she's bluffing then why don't you just tell the organization about that kid," said Hugo. "I’m sure if you ask nicely they might make it a quick exorcism and he won’t have to suffer.”
“Your right Hugo! I'll go call them straight away! But then again maybe I shouldn't," he said while looking conflicted. “I could loose everything, you saw what happened to that French guy David or whatever his name was.”
“Devin?”
“Yeah that guy, he made one small mistake, and now he's doomed to spend the rest of his life in the lower rungs of the organization with no hope of promotion.”
“Didn't he accidently blow up the east wing?”
“Yeah, but it was only a small explosion.”
“I heard three people died."
“But he had no idea that was going to happen!”
“Are you saying that is even worse than three people dying?”
“Shhh, someone might hear you!” Nina's brother hissed. “My career is on the line here!”
After that they retreated into Akito's tool shed and began talking so softly that I couldn't hear them through the wall, but the organization never showed up to take me away so it seemed like I was still safe.
I needed a break from headquarters and the people who wanted me dead, so I went to school as soon as the first bus arrived. It was the earliest I’d been to school in my life, and I had no idea that there were so many people there half an hour before homeroom.
I felt fine until I reached the school gate, but as soon as I caught sight of my classmates I suddenly lost confidence and stopped. I stood there frozen and watched everyone walk past. They were chatting, laughing, moaning, yawning, and none of them seemed to notice that they'd spent the whole semester with a freak. I wondered how they would react if they discovered that I wasn’t human. Would they think it was cool like Taisei? Or would they come after me in the dead of the night like a scene from a Frankenstein movie. I didn't know if even my monster powers would be enough to defend myself from five hundred teenagers.
As much as I wanted to stand there all day, the bell was about to ring so I couldn't waste anymore time. I mustered every ounce of energy I had and nervously put a smile on my face. I hoped that if I could fake it well enough, I could continue pretending that I was nothing more than a normal high school student like the rest of them.
I put one foot in front of the other and began to walk towards my class, but suddenly a short girl with curly hair dashed out in front of me.
“Hey Matsumoto!” She said so
quickly that I could barely understand. “I need to talk to you.”
She grabbed my jacket sleeve and began to drag me away. I obediently followed her because I was too shocked to do anything else. My heart beat frantically in my chest and I began to wonder if the girl had already uncovered my secret. Maybe she was like Itsuki and had a secret ability to detect monsters? Or maybe she was a spy for the exorcist organization? I knew they couldn't possibly keep believing Nina's brother's terrible lies forever.
She pulled me away from the gate and into the middle of the school garden. I stared at her with my eyes wide in terror before I realised that I was just making myself look suspicious. I then tried my best to smile and look composed.
“So,” I coughed. "You, me, this bush. Fancy being out here this early in the morning.”
“Will you go out with me?” She asked.
“Huh,” was all I managed to say as my mouth dropped open in shock.
“I mean,” she said nervously. “I saw you run on sports day and that was super cool, so I’ve kind of liked you since then.”
“Oh,” I said. “Well..”
I could vaguely remember seeing her in the class next to my own. A week ago I would have gone out with her in a heartbeat, but now how could I possibly allow someone to unwillingly date a monster. Nothing positive could ever come out of it, and in the end I would only hurt her.
"I'm sorry…...," I paused when I realized that I didn't know her name. "You seem like a nice person, but I think it’s better if you go ask someone else."
I thought I'd turned her down kindly and we could part ways without any problems, but her nervous smile quickly turned into a frown.
“Why?” She asked. “Why don’t you want to go out with me?”
“It’s difficult to explain,” I said while searching for the right thing to say. I wasn't used to turning down girls. Usually I was always the one who got their heart crushed. “I just don't think that I'm ready for a relationship at the moment.”