“Been a whole, what, two days now?”
“Devastating.”
“To be sure.”
“We are running low on C’s”
“Which C?”
“The most important one.”
“I thought they were all important?”
“Not like this one.” She pauses in our volley to make eye contact, trying to hint at which one she is speaking. The eye shift to Richard across from her gives the best clue.
“Truly devastating.” I offer with condolences.
“Is that a yes?” Simon is trying to follow our conversation. The look on his face telling us he has not. He does glance at Richard though, wondering what he has missed.
“It is a “yes” we will ask them. Not a “yes” they will do it.” I explain, helping his mental train get back on track. “Hand me the list of what you need.”
“We need.” He corrects me. “One big happy family now, remember?”
“Of shining happy faces.” Aimes smiles as I take the list to give the men we have been avoiding all day. She cannot pass up the chance to tease Dolph, who still refuses to join her fan club.
“Hey Dolphers, say porn.” She asks him sweetly.
Dolph’s face holds confusion for a moment before a slow smile spreads across his lips. He looks to me with those deep colored eyes of his. “Porn.” he says, letting the word develop more syllables than it should hold with his southern drawl.
I smile. I did. I smiled.
Aimes and I take our trays to the drop off window, signaling for a very happy Chapel to come with us. At least he was very happy. Now as he falls in behind us, he is closing the emotions down he was allowing himself to show with Paula. We walk to the table before us as if preparing for war. Each step is pulling us deeper behind mental shutters to help protect and to help face the man watching us. His face shifts from cautious to amused seeing our path leading us to him.
“Well, well, lookie here boys. You playing messenger now Barbie, or have you just come to your senses finally about where you belong?” J.D. smiles at me, sharpening his stick to poke where it will hurt the most. The wooden shavings will stay lodged in as burning splinters for days to come.
“…and here that is why I thought we were sitting over there, Hells.” Aimes counters his verbal attack. It takes some of the joy from his eyes.
“Simon wants to know if we feel up to a supply run.” I ignore them both. So much for Aimes not getting involved in our little domestic drama as I had asked her. She is sharpening her own stick ready for the fight. Sometimes I wonder if she really listens or just nods to shut me up.
“We, huh?” J.D. asks.
“Yeah. Guess Simon still seems to think we are a part of this group.” Aimes yawns, showing her boredom with having to be near them. Yup, she just nods.
“Either you do or you don’t want to get the items.” I try to interrupt their verbal match before the blows start going low, “If you don’t, then fine. I am sure Dolph, Richard, and I can go find them.”
“We got it.” Lawless says taking the paper from me. He is as shocked as I am with his sudden outburst. We stand staring, unsure of what to say to each other anymore.
“You will need my truck to carry it back. I will meet you in the morning when you’re ready to head out.” These are not the words that I want to say to him. These are the only words I can say to him with so many watching us hoping for a show.
“You will be staying in that truck.” J.D. tells me, taking the paper from Lawless before heading out.
“You forgot your tray.” Aimes tells him, still not ready to let go. I am thinking of a few nicknames for her at this moment to go with my own. Chihuahua comes to mind first.
J.D. nods, picking up his tray with a false smile. “Anything for the ladies.” He says as the other men follow him with theirs.
Aimes sighs in frustration, heading for the courtyard, which is conveniently in the opposite direction from the path the group takes. I watch as we split into two again with a sigh of defeat. Holding a closed fist up to Chapel, I offer to play Rock, Paper, Scissors’ to figure out which path we will take, but he only laughs, leading us to follow Aimes. Like we really had any other choice?
Chapter 31
A table sits watching with invested interest at the scene before them. Their ears strain to have any piece of the conversation reach them but the distance is too great between them. The people are too skilled in keeping their voices between them and their movements subtle. They can only watch as each person speaks, trying to gain some clue to the words that are said. They watch as fragments head in different directions, each forming their own opinions of what has happened when it is over.
“Think they will do it?” Dolph asks those around him, watching the three head out the door behind them.
“We’ll see. Looks like it’s a go.” Simon says but he is watching the larger of the fragments walking away. That is where his hopes lie.
“I think it is horrible to set them up like this.” Shelia rocks the sleepy Kira in her lap. “They are mean enough to those two without you three adding to it.”
“It is not a set-up.” Dolph tires to sooth her, trying to ease her concerns over the situation. “We need to see where they sit is all. Not just the girls. All of them. We need to know if we can trust them or not. It’s better this way.”
“Well, I don’t agree.” She hisses, picking up the sleeping child to leave. “Leave me out of it.”
“Shelia….” Simon calls to her but the only answer is her continued exit from the room.
“Will she be alright?” With a touch of concern for the situation, Richard looks to Simon for advice.
“I’ll talk to her. I’ll help her understand it. She has grown close to the girls.” Simon sighs, sensing the battle ahead for him.
“I’m wanting to grow close to the blonde.” Richard smiles a male smile with a hint of a blush.
“You would.” Dolph teases his friend with his own half smirk.
“What? She’s fun.” Richard nudges his friend. “She may just be very fun.”
“That one will eat you alive and use it as her next comedy skit when bored.” Simon laughs.
“No, that is the other one. What’s her name?” Dolph asks.
“Helena. Why do you say that?” Simon moves his seat to get a better view of the men that are sitting at the table with him.
“You can see it. In her eyes. That one has ghosts. She’s been through it.” Dolph says, remembering the way she looked at dinner.
The men grow silent, each remembering their own past events that have led them here. Shadows cross each face as the joy of the previous male topics flee from them. How quick conversations can turn the tides of emotions.
“Any clue about what is going on with them?” Dolph asks, looking to Simon since he is the one with the most exposure to the new group.
“At first, I thought it was just them pissed off at Helena for risking her own life like that. Something has happened though to make them this broken. You should have seen them at the Center. Like one mind kinda deal. J.D. just had to do a slight move and they all knew what to do. Now, they seem lost. Maybe the girls don’t like Leslie sneaking in on what they think of as theirs. I know there is some tension between the darker one and Helena. Picked up on that when she tried to run him over.” Simon cannot help but smile at the memory. It piques the curiosity of the other two sitting before him.
“Run him over?” Richard wears his own smile with the question.
“Yeah, in reverse.” Simon lets a laugh finish his sentence. “Should have heard Leslie scream. Best moment by far.”
“Don’t think there are too many men in this place left that haven’t heard her scream.” Dolph counters, not bothering with any hidden meanings with his look.
“That include you?” Richard smirks
at his friend, letting the trap that Dolph has walked into snap shut on him.
Dolph shoots them both a look of disbelief with their assumptions and laughter. “Screw you.” He says to them, only gaining louder laughter from the two.
“Think they will figure it out?” Dolph attempts to change the conversation of which somehow he has become the focus point.
“Most likely. You don’t get to where they are in life without pulling a few of your own moves on people.” Simon is still recovering from his laughter. “Do you care?”
“Nope.” Dolph says. “Just want to be prepared.” He stands to start his nightly rounds.
“Ross knows what to do.” Simon stretches, standing as those at the table are preparing to leave.
“Yeah, just smile!” Richards says, imitating the big smile of Ross’ with his sentence.
Each man laughs as they say goodbye for the night. Each has a duty to do before he can escape to another world created by secret dreams. A world of their own design. A world where things are better for them. A world where loved ones are still close to them. A world they can never find again.
All of this is true, except for one. This one stands with his mind racing for what tomorrow may bring for them. This is not his first time watching a group fall apart. He knows the aftermath it can bring and the weaknesses it can cause. Dolph heads into the night as his own ghosts are whispering into his ear.
Chapter 32
“This is bullshit.” Rhett’s voice vibrates the room with his anger from reading the list that has been the center of so much already.
The men have decided to make a trip to the school’s weight room after breakfast before heading out. They each have their own issues to burn off with the exertion of their workout and the emptiness of the room allows them to talk freely. The list is not helping their morning attitudes, knowing what is ahead for them.
“Yup.” J.D. pauses, straining to press the weights that he has allowed Lawless to place on the bar.
“Why are we doing it then?” Lawless asks, keeping an eye on the man he is spotting.
“We ain’t doing it for them...” J.D. says, placing the bar back onto its holder. The men look to him, pausing in their workouts, to see where this new test is going to take them.
“We’re doing it for our girls.” He says. “We are taking back what is ours. They are getting too close and cozy with the new folk. That includes Chap. We need to remind them three where their loyalties lie.”
“Thought that’s what you wanted?” Marxx has continued his own presses with disinterest in the conversation.
J.D. stands with one graceful movement of his anger, making his way to Marxx’ bench. He stands staring down at the man, making eye contact before lunging, pressing his full weight down on the already heavily weight-loaded bar. Marxx fights to keep it from crushing his throat as they stare into each others eyes. Rhett and Lawless become statues as they have been trained to do, investing no emotion and harvesting no satisfaction from the situation.
“Did you say something there, Marxx?” J.D. holds constant pressure on his neck, seeing if Marxx will continue speaking against him.
“You pushed Chapel away. You pushed Hells away. We all know that Aimes will follow her. You did this.” Marxx is fighting against the weight and the rage of J.D.
J.D. leans harder against the bar, daring him to speak more. Marxx accepts his dare.
“You pushed Leslie on Law. You knew what it would do to Hells. You’re just pissed you didn’t break her. You made her stronger. Now you can’t control her. She isn’t yours anymore. Neither of them. You were too much of a dumb-ass to stop when you had the chance. She gave you the chance. You threw it in her face. You’ve lost them. You’ve lost.”
J.D. forces the bar down on Marxx’ neck, crushing it. He holds the pressure, making the other man fight for every breath as he kicks and struggles to free himself. Marxx fights against J.D., desperately trying to get any inch of space between his throat and the bar. His face is growing more red with each passing moment as air is denied to him. Finally, J.D. releases his hold on Marxx and walks away from the man to sit back on the other bench.
The room is silent. The only sound comes from Marxx as he tries to fill his lungs with air he was deprived from. His throat red from where the bar was pressed. Each man in the room waits with a different expression upon his face for either an explanation or exclamation.
J.D. sits, staring at the floor, rehearing Marxx’ words over and over again in his mind. “I know.”
His voice is so quiet that at first, the men doubt they heard him, their brows furrowed with the doubt.
“I know.” He says again, placing his head in his hands to hide from their eyes. “It’s why we’ve got do this. We’ve got to prove we can keep them safe again. That they can trust us. We’ve got to bring them close again. Those girls have been with me since they were teens. You remember, Rhett. You remember how small they were when we first found them. How shy of us they were. Just little things.” He does a small laugh, remembering their days that have gone past.
“I remember.” Rhett agrees with the man with hopes to encourage him to keep speaking.
“And Lawless.” J.D. laughs. “You were just a street punk, man. Nothing more than brown puppy eyes looking for skirts. Now look at you.”
J.D.’s voice grows weak with his emotions. Emotions he has never dared let them see. Emotions are for women and the weak. J.D. is anything but weak; at least not in the old world. Everything has changed now. Everything is changing now. The world he knew is like water in his hands. The harder he tries to hold on to it, the more it slips away, until his hands are empty, leaving him with less and less to hold.
“I don’t know how to do this. Life used to be simple. Someone pissed you off, you kicked their teeth in. Now, man now, it’s all changed. I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me. I’ve seen how you’re watching me. Marxx is right. I did this. I took us here.” He says. His emotional wounds are bleeding before them. Their silence is the only tourniquet they offer.
“You remember the cabin? We had good times there. Good times.” He smiles remembering. “You remember poor Aimes when she figured out what she was eating? That girl cried so hard over that rabbit. She wailed “Thumper” all night long, that girl. Now look at her. Full of sass and ass, that one.”
“Helena too. She was so broken when we found her. She was so unsure of her own breath, much less taking on these dead things like she is. I’m proud of her. Really I am. She’s finally standing on those two feet of hers. That Daddy of hers would not stand a chance now against her. I’d pay money to see that show-down. Front row tickets.” He chuckles, remembering all the tears she once spilled over the man that caused her soul such grief.
“I want them back.” He says to the men in the room. His honesty has left them fidgeting and unsure of what to say. “I can’t do it on my own. I’ve done burned that bridge. Set it right on fire and watched it burn. Lawless has too.”
Lawless’ head sinks low with unspoken words. Marxx’ does not though.
“That’s your fault, too.” His voice is more gravel-filled after their fight. “He may have started their fight, but you started their war.”
J.D. stands, coming off his bench to face Marxx again. His anger is refilling with Marxx’ questioning of his actions again. “We’ll fix it. We’ll make it right.”
Lawless does not look up. His fists are clenching to keep a grasp on the many emotions and the words he wants to let escape.
“Rhett, they listen to you. You and Aimes have that. You make them listen. You reach Chapel first. Bring him back around. That’s our way back in. Get in with him and they will come around. Hells is smart. She is always watching. If she sees him coming back then she will too. Aimes will follow.” J.D. stares at the tall man.
Rhett has been with him the longest, forming a bond
of the darkest deeds between them. Now the request put before him is one of tender care. It is a role reversal of the highest degree for him and he does not know if he will able to perform the task set to him. The wounds have been dug deep and he is not one known to repair damage. It has always been his job to cause it.
“Yeah,” He says, unwilling to voice his doubts. “I can do that. I’ll talk to them.”
“So we do this then.” J.D. crumples the list, sacrificing it to his anger the way he yearns to do with Marxx. “We do this bullshit errand run of theirs. We know they are just testing us. Simon and Dolph want to see where we will land on this. We’ll land right. Let them think they have pulled one over on us. If it gets our girls back, then what of it?” He shrugs, knowing they will silently agree with him.
“We will let Hells do her thing. You’ve proved you can’t stop her anyway. But, you keep her safe Law. You stick to her. No matter what she says to you. No matter how deep she hurts you. You stick to her. We have to get through that wall of hers. We have to wear her down. That girl is hiding some pain and it’s festering. You break that wall boy and she’s yours. Past won’t matter. You just be there to catch her when she falls. That’s what she really wants. She just doesn’t know it.” J.D. stands before the young man he has helped mold, and destroy. Pulling his face close to his, he keeps his eyes to his.
“You got to be stronger than her. You’re the only one that is. You take her back to that little world of yours. She will fight you. Every inch of the way, she will fight you. If she lets you take her back there, she will have to relive whatever she is hiding from. You got to get her there.” J.D. watches as Lawless blinks past the many emotions stirring within him.
“We’ve already seen it. She is losing herself more each day with it. When she stood up to me that first day, it wasn’t bravery with her. It was the lack of care at the outcome. When she stops caring, she’ll stop living. It will only be a matter of time till she does something with this death wish she is walking. I can’t lose my girl.” J.D. pats the face of the man he has been coaching in the closest sign of compassion he has.
The Risen: Dawning Page 20