by Lee,Molly E.
I hovered above him, watching as he reached behind him, grabbing a knife he kept on his belt.
“Connell? Don’t kill anything!” I said, swimming toward him, ready to stop him if I had to. “You could throw off the balance of the entire—“
He cut off my words by holding up a large clam between his fingers. “I’m quiet. Not a murderer.” He laughed as he eyed me. “Any objections to me opening him up?”
I shook my head, heat rushing to my cheeks. Once again I’d jumped to an assumption about Connell’s actions without waiting to see. I liked that he continued to surprise me, but the surprises only made it more evident that this man I slept with, and thought about on a second-to-second basis, was still unknown to me in so many ways.
He took the tip of his knife and gently slipped it between the clam’s closure, wrenching it open with little effort. Inside, sitting on its slimy pink flesh, was a black pearl the size of a pea. Connell slipped it out and rolled it between his thumb and forefinger before shutting the clam and replacing it on the reef. He looked down at the pearl in his hands, his eyes contemplative as we hovered there.
“Funny, isn’t it?” he asked.
“How so?”
He shrugged. “On the outside, they look like hardened, funny-shaped rocks. But pry the suckers open and you find something beautiful,” he said and handed me the pearl. “And delicious.”
I chuckled softly, holding the pearl closer to my mask. It was so dark but almost had an indigo tint to it when the sun’s rays hit it in the right way. I reached to hand it back to him.
“That’s yours, darlin’.” He replaced the knife on his belt. “Remind you of me, incase you wise up and bolt soon.”
I scrunched my eyebrows at him, placing the pearl in the small pocket-bag I kept on my belt. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“You might.” He swam again, and I followed quickly behind him.
“I won’t.” I tried to assure him. “And you know something else funny about that clam?”
“What?”
“You had to use a knife to get to its center.”
He stopped his momentum, spinning around to meet my eyes. “Yeah,” he said, looking over every inch of my face he could see underneath the mask. “But you might not like what you find once you cut into me.”
“What have you got here?” I asked as I walked along the beach that bordered my lab.
Connell’s and my dive had been pleasant the rest of the hour we’d spent down there, and I’d placed the pearl safely on my desk after we’d returned inland. He’d insisted on running an errand and had told me to meet him down at the beach in an hour. I was now dressed in a fresh pair of shorts and a plain gray T-shirt, my hair tied tightly in a ponytail.
Connell also donned dry clothes and had managed to wrangle dinner for two—a sweet spread of conch shell salads, grilled chicken with mango salsa, and what looked like a box of truffles for dessert.
“Figured you were as hungry as I was after that dive.” He motioned toward his beach picnic, and my stomach flipped.
“You did all this for me?” I slowly sank to my knees, taking a seat on the oversize black blanket he’d laid out. This was above and beyond what I’d expected, especially after he said he hadn’t done intimate in forever.
He shrugged, and I wondered if I’d ever rid him of that natural response when I asked him a question. Don’t push. Just enjoy this.
“Well, thank you. This is absolute perfection,” I said, reaching for one of the salads.
We ate and sipped the beers he’d brought with the meal, allowing the waves crashing on the shore to be our soundtrack.
By the time I’d sank my teeth into one of the truffles the sun had set, and our picnic turned into a moonlit lounge.
Connell cleared away the mess and came back with two more beers from a cooler he had nearby. I took the icy bottle from his hand, clinking it against his as he sat down.
“Don’t know what I did to deserve all this, but I really appreciate it,” I said. “No one has ever done anything this nice for me before.”
He tilted his head. “Really?”
“I’m kind of addicted to my work.” I took a sip. “Not a ton of opportunity for extracurricular activities.”
“Especially not those that require explaining yourself constantly,” Connell said, a smirk on his lips. The look made a rush of heat surge in my core. The day had started with my mouth on his and I wanted to end it even more intimately.
“Exactly. You either understand the demands of the ocean, or you don’t,” I said.
“And half the time the people don’t,” Connell finished.
“Not you, though.” I tucked my feet beneath me, angling my body toward him.
“Nope.” He leaned back on his elbows, staring out at the rolling waves. “That’s something you’ll never have to explain to me.”
“Unless I put myself in danger,” I said, arching an eyebrow at him. His reaction to the shark incident was more than contradictory to his statement.
“I won’t ever be comfortable with you at risk like that.”
“And yet, our jobs make risks like that a daily threat.” I set my beer down, giving him my full focus.
He sighed, drawing his gaze away from the water and back to me. “I know.”
“So?”
He shrugged. “What?”
“So the next time I’m in danger, and yes, there will be a next time, are you going get all barbarian primal again?”
He sat up and pulled me closer to him, his mouth a breath away from mine. “Oh, you can absolutely count on that.” He teased my lips with his tongue and warm chills shot across my skin. “But I’ll try to keep it contained. I can’t promise anything, Sadie. There is something about you, something that drives my need to protect you. Keep you for myself. I’m not sure I can turn that off. Is that a deal breaker?”
My heart raced as his fingers gently wrapped around my neck. “Not as long as you don’t ever ask me to quit.”
He shifted his body, laying me back and supporting himself above me with one arm, the other still secured around my neck. He moved his hand to smooth the strands of hair that had escaped from my ponytail. “I’d never do that. I understand better than anyone the hole that keeping you out of the ocean would carve in your heart.”
I swallowed hard, gazing up at him. I slipped my fingers underneath his shirt, reveling in the feel of his hard muscles. “Then my earlier statement holds true. I’m not going anywhere, Connell.”
His lips crushed mine, nothing gentle about it, and it made my heart freaking soar. I arched against him, needing the contact with his body as well as his mouth. He kissed me hard enough to claim me, but touched me soft enough to make me beg for more. The contrast was mind-blowing, and completely suited him. I slid my hand from his abs downward, slipping it just past the band of his shorts.
“Sadie,” he growled against my lips.
“Yes?”
“We have to stop.”
“Why?” I dipped lower, wrapping my hands around his full length, gasping slightly at how hard he already was.
He glanced over my head, his eyes darting around the area. “I’m two seconds away from taking you right here in the open.”
I followed his gaze, arching my head backward, and he kissed up and down my neck. The beach was clear—the area near my lab not a popular choice among the locals. I brought my head back down, grinning at him.
“Then do it,” I said, reaching for one of the ends of the oversize black blanket and drawing it over us.
His eyes lit up before he reclaimed my mouth, working his hands down my body until he untied my shorts and slipped them down my legs.
My mind went fuzzy with heat. The only thing I understood was want, and Connell was it. I lost myself in his touch, the movements of his tongue against my skin, and the exploration of every hard angle of his body.
He kissed down my neck, over my breasts, and lower, moving with a slow burn that seared my insides
.
“Mmmm,” he hummed as he slid my panties off, and used his fingers to tease me. “So wet.” He parted me before sinking his tongue inside, and I gasped from the contact. He stroked me with his tongue, moving expertly against every inch of my sensitive skin, alternating between light and heavy laps until all my muscles coiled tighter than a spring. “I can feel you’re there, Sadie. Fuck, you’re delicious.”
The way his mouth moved and his lips vibrated against me as he spoke only pushed me further over the edge, and when he sucked my clit into his mouth, I came apart beneath him.
“Connell,” I moaned as my orgasm rocked my body. I fisted his hair, yanking him upward, and pulling him to me.
A smirk shaped his lips as he settled himself between my thighs, and he cupped my cheek in his hand, looking down at me with something so much different than last time.
Hope.
The soft look matched his movements as he entered me, and I sighed with relief. He kissed me with a light touch, in total contrast from yesterday when he’d claimed me with wild determination, and my heart reacted to the switch.
This was new. This was real. This meant something more than a lust-filled attack after another life-threatening incident.
Connell connected with me in a way no one else had, and I believed I did the same for him. His slow thrusts tortured me as much as it made me moan, and I never wanted it to end. I wanted all my nights filled with him—this wild man who could hold me this gently, make love to me this purely.
Love?
I pushed back the black hair that had fallen over his face, my fingers trembling as he tortured me with long, slow thrusts. His hazel eyes were open to me in a way they never had been before. The notion increased the shockwaves of electricity that tingled beneath my skin with each of his movements. I kissed him, hoping to drown out my moans between his lips. He drank me in, never missing a beat inside me.
My muscles quivered as he hardened to another degree inside me, his pace increasing until I could see the edge of release in his eyes. I dug my fingers into the bare skin of his strong back as I clenched around him.
“Come with me,” I said, my voice a shaken whisper as I arched my hips upward.
“Fuck, Sadie.” He growled, pressing his forehead against mine. Our bodies shuddered with pleasure at the same time. He brought me down, continuing with slow thrusts until my trembles had subsided and I’d loosened my grip on his shoulders.
He laid his head against my chest as we caught our breaths. And as I tangled my fingers in his hair, I knew.
There was only one way I could let go of my control enough to give myself to him so openly, with the ocean at our feet, and the beach at our heads. Only one reason I trusted the man with my life above and below the water.
I was completely in love with him.
Connell
I TUCKED SADIE in between my legs, pulling her back against my chest, and tugged the blanket around us tighter. Though dressed, the heat the beach had soaked up all day had diminished after the sun had set, and now that I wasn’t actively worshiping her body there was a bite to the air.
Somewhere in the middle of things, I’d taken her hair down, and now I ran my fingers through it, the movement near hypnotizing with the sound of the waves in front of us. It gave me a breath to get my head straight because it hadn’t stopped spinning since . . . I’d made love to Sadie.
I didn’t do that.
I never did that.
I absolutely, without a doubt, just did that.
There wasn’t another way to describe it. The way I’d felt above her, wanting more than anything to continue to keep her safe and make her scream at the same time, was more of a connection than I’d ever had during sex. Because it wasn’t just sex, wasn’t just a release, it was a revelation.
Sadie was a life I never knew I existed, and one I knew I didn’t deserve.
The familiar stinging wound in my chest ached, and I shifted slightly underneath her.
She popped up, turning to look at me. “Am I hurting you?”
I laughed, the question so completely off the mark. She was healing me.
“No,” I said finally.
She squinted at me. “What’s going through your head right now?”
I’d told her I needed time, and she had been more than willing to give it to me. Thing was, I knew time was never a luxury we could afford. And with my already pending dark deal with Slade, I didn’t want to keep anything else from her. Not anymore.
If she knows what you did, she’ll bolt.
Maybe that would be a good thing. Maybe if she hated me once she knew what made me the man I was, then I wouldn’t have to figure a way out of the deal with Slade.
My gut simmered. Didn’t matter if she ran or not, I was still going to fight tooth and nail for her site. Because I wanted her happiness more than anything. More than twelve million dollars.
“Connell?” She traced the edge of my flexed jaw with a delicate finger. “It’s all right. There isn’t a rush. Remember? I’m not going anywhere.”
The hurt in my chest lessened and doubled at the same time. She would. Because she was too perfect for me and I hadn’t done any deed in a decade to earn a prize like her.
“I want to tell you something.” The words made their way past my choking throat, my body begging me to keep my past to myself.
“Okay,” she said, and I saw the tension set in her shoulders. Was I that easy to read or did she understand me that well already?
“I’ve never told anyone other than my mother.”
She tucked her legs underneath her, facing me with her full attention.
My heart raced against my chest, and a cold dread I didn’t understand clutched my spine. I wasn’t this scared when I’d been trapped underneath a propeller blade that had broken off mid-repair—how could this be so much harder? My life wasn’t at stake here, just my heart. And I never thought it would properly work again after Conner had died.
Fuck. Just thinking his name stung like a bitch. How would it be to spill it all?
“My brother Conner was an addict. Started off simple—alcohol, pot, a few pills—but he never could quench the urge.” I shook my head, a small smile breaking through my tight lips. “I should’ve seen it sooner. The boy never went at anything half-assed, even when we were kids, and if he loved something . . . he surrounded himself in it. Drowned himself in it.” I thought about his Power Rangers phase and how there hadn’t been an inch in his room that wasn’t covered with the theme—didn’t stop there, either, clothes, tooth brush, shower curtain, everything.
“He was sixteen when we discovered he was in deeper than either my mother or I knew.” I rubbed my palms over my face, willing the tears back. I hadn’t cried since his funeral a year and a half ago, and I would not break here. “He’d upgraded to crystal meth. Fell in with crowds with the same flavors. I tried everything . . . threatening him, his suppliers, offering whatever he wanted to get him off the stuff. Nothing worked. It hooked him from the first taste.”
Sadie reached out and took my hand, squeezing it but not saying a word.
“He went in and out of several different rehab clinics—ten years of jumping between being clean and relapse. Nearly drained Mom of anything she ever earned—her job takes her all over the world but doesn’t pay enough to support an addict—and he’d always end up back out on the streets looking to score. Once I turned eighteen, I got accepted into the Commercial Diving Program, got certified, and placed applications to the highest bidders. Worked my way up quick and sent my mother almost all of the money, only taking a little to live off.” I sucked in a deep breath. “It kept me away from Conner, which hurt me, but I don’t even know if he really noticed. He hadn’t seen the distance between us since he started using but before that? We were inseparable. We were only seventeen months apart—he was six weeks early—and Mom had told me that I’d insisted on sleeping next to his crib every night once she brought him home. I don’t remember that far back, bu
t I never remember a moment without him, you know?”
Sadie nodded, her lips pressed together.
“There were a few times Mom would call me off a job, saying Conner had finally found the right rehab program and had come home clean,” I pressed on. “I’d rush off the job ready to welcome my baby brother home . . . the real one, the one I grew up with.” My chest tightened. “It never stuck, though. He couldn’t stay off it for long.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “A year and a half ago, I got a call, not from Mom, but from Conner. He was still living in the resort-style rehab Mom had put him up in, and he begged me to come home so he could make amends. Said it was part of the program, part of him moving toward recovery.”
She gripped my hand tighter when my fingers started to shake. “So I did. Blew off a big job too, a paycheck that would’ve meant a whole four months of clean living for him in that luxury clinic. But he needed me, so I ran to him. Only when I got to Mom’s, I found him tearing up the house looking for the secret stash of cash she always keeps in our grandmama’s hutch. He didn’t even try to deny it, and after I’d made him clean up I forced him to talk to me. He’d been in the clinic for a couple of months—the one Mom had claimed was working better than ever before. Had told me Conner sounded more like himself, more hopeful.”
I can’t quit cold, Connell. Conner had told me truthfully. I have to wean myself off. Please, brother. Help me. The clinic doesn’t get it. Tapering is the key, not this abrupt stop. I’ve got a guy on the inside who can help me do it slowly.
“I was pissed—he’d broken Mom’s heart more times than I could count—stealing from her, blaming her for how sick he was, that our dad had left before we could know him because he couldn’t stand her . . . just shit a junkie said when he didn’t get his way. He wasn’t my brother anymore. Clinic-clean or not, I didn’t recognize him. So I gave him an ultimatum.” Acid boiled in my gut and tears stung behind my eyes. “Go back to the clinic and quit cold, or fuck off.”
I can’t. Just give me some cash for one last score, one big enough to ration, to get me off it slowly. I’ll do it inside the clinic. Lots of people do without them knowing. It’ll work this time. I promise.