by Lee,Molly E.
Henrick sank back in his chair as recognition clicked in his eyes. Mom had earned every part of her reputation and I’d always been secretly happy that was what she was known for now—not some dead junkie’s mother. The thought of Conner turned my stomach, but it didn’t hold the bite I’d grown accustomed to. I knew that was Sadie’s doing. It all was. Even reconnecting with my mother could be traced back to her, as easily as if she’d left a recovery line trailing behind her. The woman saved things—saved me—and I’d crushed her heart.
“You can’t put a price on the development happening in the Falconer.” Mom pointed at the double doors to the room as if she could show everyone the massive potential the ship had. “It’s damn well worth a detour. I can’t even believe this has gone on this long.” She crossed her arms over her chest, locked eyes with Slade, and shrugged. I quickly adjusted my stance, letting my arms hang loose at my sides.
“I agree with you, Dr. Cunningham,” The governor-general said, tilting his head at Henrick. “A clear-cut case to me. Ms. Jenkins has more than proved the value of the Falconer. Mr. Slade will go around the required thirty-mile distance deemed safe for the ecosystem to continue to thrive.”
“The hell I will!” Slade yelled, beating his hand against the table again like a mad gorilla.
“Excuse me?” The Governor-general shifted his gaze to focus solely on Slade. “Are you implying you will withdraw a three-year contract already in motion because you couldn’t convince us to destroy Ms. Jenkin’s site?”
“You bet your ass I’ll pull my company out of this so fast you won’t—“
The double doors swung open, cutting off Slade’s tirade. A young suit stalked into the room, his shoulders straight, his back stiff. “Forgive the intrusion,” he said, stopping to stand right next to Sadie.
Who the fuck?
“I’ve only just landed. Casey Williams, majority stakeholder in Slade Industries.” He glanced at Slade and shook his head.
He’s the investor? The man over Slade?
“The pipeline build will continue as laid out in the contract,” he continued, “and I’ll be taking Mr. Slade’s position to oversee it personally.”
“Williams, you backstabbing son of a—“
“Enough, Mr. Slade.” The governor’s voice boomed in the room, silencing Slade and the shocked conversation that had begun to hum around the room. “The matter is settled.” He turned to Henrick as he pushed out of his chair. “I don’t want to hear any different on the situation again. Understood?”
“Absolutely.” Henrick shook his hand before the governor made his way over to Sadie and Williams, speaking to them a few hushed words before leaving. The other members trailed out of the room as he did, and observers followed until all that remained was me, Sadie’s crew, Williams, and Slade—who had turned an almost purple shade.
He stomped the distance to our side of the room, his eyes locked on to Sadie. “You will pay for this, girl. I swear you will!” He pointed a fat finger at her but I stepped in front of him, stopping his advance with the strength of my chest.
“I fucking dare you, Slade. Give me a reason.” I glanced down at the finger that jabbed into my chest. “I’d love to finish this with witnesses that you started the fight.”
His eyes went wide before they turned to slits. “You fucked up, Murphey. Not only did you not protect the girl, you brought your mommy into. Pathetic idiot.” He lowered his voice so only I could hear. “Now both the women you love will pay.”
Red coated my eyes and before I blinked I had Slade on the floor, cranking a fist back to smash into his face.
“Connell!” Sadie’s voice cut through the rage pulsing in my head but not enough. I let my fist go and cracked it so hard across Slade’s jaw my knuckles jolted with pain. I hissed but drew back to do it again.
“I’ll fucking end you!” I punched him again, his head whipping to the left with a sickening crack.
“Connell, stop!” Sadie pled again, stopping my third swing. I pushed off the floor, raking my hands through my hair.
Williams snapped his fingers behind me, and I whirled on him, thinking for a moment that he was directing some of that better-than-everyone bullshit at me. Two men in suits came in from the hallway, immediately scooping Slade’s stunned body off the floor and dragging him out of the room.
“I’m so sorry about that, Sadie,” Williams said, turning his attention to her.
He said her name like they were old friends and it made acid boil in my blood.
“I did as you suggested,” he continued. “You were right.”
She always is.
“Slade has been dirty far longer than your scuffle.”
Who the fuck says scuffle? Easy, this is the man who Ryan assured could help Sadie. I took a deep breath to calm the jealousy in my stomach and reminded myself to be thankful for his intervention—just didn’t realize the dude would look like a fucking movie star.
“I knew it,” Sadie said, flashing him a soft smile that made me crack my knuckles without realizing until the loud pops vibrated up my forearm.
“Right,” Williams said, glancing over his shoulder for a moment. “I will handle the matter as we previously discussed. Discreetly, but effectively. You won’t hear from Slade—or anyone who is loyal to him—again. You have my word.”
The tension left her shoulders, and she sighed. “Thank you.”
Relief cooled the jealousy that burned my skin. This suit had money—and eyes for Sadie—but I knew money and power were the only things that could put Slade where he deserved, which was prison. And that meant Sadie would be safe.
I owed Ryan a pitcher or two . . . every night for the rest of his life. Though, Sadie had convinced the suit on her own—essentially saving herself as only she could—I would forever be grateful for Ryan’s connections and his ability to let me help.
“You’re most welcome,” Williams casually pulled out a card from his jacket pocket. “If the vibe I got from dinner was correct, you’ve already misplaced my card.” He handed her the fresh one. She took it timidly, her eyes not on him but locked on me as she held it between her fingers.
She forced out a laugh, nothing close to her real one. “I might have.”
“Well, now you have a new one. And any excuse to call me is fine. Texas isn’t far when you’ve got your own plane.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Thank you again for your help, Casey.”
“Anytime, Sadie.” He glanced toward the doors. “I’m afraid I must go. This matter with Slade will most certainly be long and messy.”
“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.” She reached out her hand to shake his, but the asshole kissed it like she was some delicate flower.
Idiot. That wasn’t how she liked to be treated. She was strong, unshakeable, daring. She liked it hard and fast and dangerous. She wouldn’t fall for that cheesy-movie crap.
Right?
He smiled at her one last time, just enough to send my stomach flying again, before finally leaving the room. Sadie’s crew followed shortly after and finally, it was just me, her and . . . my mother. Fuck.
“You use your maiden name?” Sadie asked my mom, her eyes jumping between us.
“Yes, I do.” Mom answered softly.
“You all right?” Sadie asked me, and my heart swelled.
“When it comes to her and me, yes,” I said, stepping toward Sadie.
“I’ll just go talk to Liz about those recent samples,” Mom said as she practically sprinted out the door.
“That’s good. I’m happy for you, Connell.” Her voice was cold. No warmth like she’d put on for the young suit.
“Sadie,” I said her name like a prayer. Begging her with my eyes to understand. “I only did what I did because—“
“Don’t. I heard enough. You thought I was in danger.” She shrugged. “You think that matters? You lied to me.”
“I wanted to protect you.”
Tears coated her eyes, and I reac
hed out to brush them off her cheeks when they rolled down. She flinched away from my touch. “Don’t you get it, Connell? I trusted you. Why didn’t you just talk to me? You could’ve told me what Slade was trying to get you to do, what he’d threatened to do . . . And you could’ve mentioned who your mother was. We could’ve worked everything out together. But no, you love to do everything on your own. Keep everyone locked out.”
“You knew going into this I’m not a sharer.”
She shook her head and released a dark laugh. “You’re right. This was my mistake. Thinking we had something more than good chemistry between the sheets.”
Her words shattered any hope that had built inside me, but I still tried to touch her again. “Sadie, you know better.”
“Do I?” She tilted her head, allowing me to take her hand. The simple, innocent touch set my skin on fire.
“You know me.”
She stared into my eyes like she was trying to read a book she couldn’t quite make out the words to. “Thank you for bringing your mother to my site. She’s invaluable. Her word brought the FDA on board. You’re the reason the Falconer will live.” Sadie pulled her hand away from me slowly, the loss of contact shooting ice through my veins. “And thanks for standing with me in the end. I won’t forget it.” She turned on her heels and walked toward the door.
“Wait,” I said, following her.
“Stop.” She put her hand out, halting my motions. “I appreciate what you did. Really, but I can’t forget everything else you’ve done too.” Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks before she turned her back on me, the doors swinging shut behind her as she left me standing alone in the room.
I sank into the nearest chair and pressed my forehead against the table, clenching my fists to keep from screaming.
Saved the site. Lost the girl.
No more than you fucking deserved.
Old wounds joined the fresh ones with Sadie’s name on them, and though I knew I’d earned every slice she’d given me, it still hurt like hell to feel the newly restored life flow out of me.
Fuck, this is why I’d stayed away from people. This is why I took comfort in the cold depths of the sea where nothing but my own thoughts could haunt me. Because loving someone gives them the ability to destroy you, and—for the first time in Sadie’s life, I’m sure—she’d managed to destroy something over saving it.
You’re better than you were.
I told the small voice in the back of my head to shut the fuck up. I didn’t want to think logically now. I wanted to wallow in my pain, properly, just as I had done after I’d lost Conner.
Time to dive.
Only this time, I needed to be far away from this place, somewhere where the stakes were higher, and maybe, just maybe I’d go deep enough to find clarity on how I managed to ruin what little life I’d had left.
Sadie
IT HAD TAKEN three weeks for the document of preservation to work its way through a set of different signatures, each of which affirmed the salvation of the Falconer.
I pushed through the water, my legs propelling me toward the ship I’d fought so hard to save. She came into view, and where once I only had an overwhelming sense of awe when I laid eyes on her, now there was an ache in the center of my chest. The hurt pulsed with each cut of my arms, each roll of my body to reach her structure.
The Falconer had practically been my home for the last year, and I didn’t want to leave her. Within her walls is where I’d bonded with Connell, the connection between us growing during her exploration. There were plenty of rooms waiting to be unlocked, an endless amount of artifacts and marine life to catalog, test, and test some more . . . but my work was done.
Sure, I could stay on site and continue to work here. And the offer was beyond tempting. But I couldn’t look at the Falconer without seeing Connell.
I reached out and ran my hands against her greenish-exterior, the rough bumps from the corrosion reminding me of Connell’s callused hands. They were worker’s hands—strong, and capable of making me weak in the knees. My heart raced just thinking of the times he’d made me breathless, made me laugh, made me smile.
Then how he’d made hurt, made me cry, made me regret.
I clenched my eyes shut, allowing the sounds of the depth of the ocean—the subtle whooshing of my oxygen, the steady tinkling melody as I moved through the water, the quick rush of a school of tiny fish darting by—to fill the gaping hole in my chest.
He protected you.
I snapped my eyes open, wishing the ocean would mute the little voice in the back of my head that was absolutely Team Connell. The vibrant purples, greens, and fire-reds filled my vision, the plants surrounding the ship making its desecrated structure teaming with life.
He broke silence with his mother to save your ship.
I shook my head, focusing on the sixty or so neon-yellow fish that were smaller than my pinky—they looked like they played hide and seek in the purple algae that sprouted in strands along the Falconer’s base.
Even if his intentions came from a source of protecting me . . . he could’ve simply talked to me.
Because he’s so good at that.
Damn. I hated it when I argued with myself.
I held on to the ship’s exterior, despite knowing my tank time was almost up. I didn’t want to let her go yet, just as—if I was being honest with myself, and beneath the water I always was—I wasn’t ready to shut the door on Connell, either. I had no idea how to reconnect with him, though, because how did I know what was real and what was part of the deal he’d struck with Slade? How did I really know he’d ever wanted me?
There’s only one way to find out.
I must be insane.
“Boss?” Nemo’s voice over the speaker in my mask made me jump. I whirled around, hand over my heart. “You good?”
“You’re getting stealthier,” I said.
“Or you’re just getting less sharp. Old age and all.” He grinned at my openedmouth stare. “Didn’t want to interrupt, boss, but you’re cutting it close.”
I sighed. “I know. I don’t think there will ever be enough time for me to say goodbye.”
He swam toward me, stopping just close enough to grip my hands. “Then don’t.”
Nemo had decided to stay on with Dr. Cunningham’s—Connell’s mom’s—team. It wasn’t personal, it was completely professional, and with all the prospects this site had just begun to supply, I couldn’t blame him denying my offer to come with me wherever I took the next job.
“There are other sites that will need saving,” I said, slowly swimming past him toward the surface.
“And him, too.”
I stopped my forward progression. “What?”
“Come on, boss. Connell is the human equivalent of a site worth saving.”
I snorted. Is that why our connection was near instantaneous? Why I’d felt compelled to tear back his walls and dig around until I found the prize-worthy center? God, no wonder. If I hadn’t been wearing my mask, I would’ve facepalmed myself.
“You can’t give up,” Nemo continued. “You have fought with every last breath for a site like this, putting your life in danger every single time you entered it, but you won’t even try for someone like him?”
“I—“
“I know what he did. Ryan told me. And I would’ve done the same thing.”
“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.
“If it meant saving you? I’d do anything. Even take on the Trio, but thankfully, you’ve already done that.” He cracked a grin and tears pooled behind my eyes at his loyalty.
“You’re a good kid.”
“I know. Now, what are you going to do?”
I turned around, laying eyes on the Falconer one last time. The long, thick strands of purple algae flowed back and forth in the water’s motion as if waving goodbye, and the knife in my chest twisted a little harder.
“Say goodbye.” Nemo’s eyes widened, and he shook his hea
d. “For only a little while,” I continued, darting past him toward the surface. Now that I knew what I needed to do, I no longer wanted to hide in the deep.
“Dr. Cunningham?” I asked, unsure why my voice was barely above a whisper as I walked up to her newly claimed desk in my lab.
“Sadie,” she said, pushing back from the desk and standing. “How’d she look to you now?”
“Good.”
“But?”
“It’s always hard to let sites go.”
“Ah,” she said. “I completely understand that. Though I do often return to some of my favorites.” She stared at me with wide, hazel eyes, and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t made the connection between her and Connell instantly. They were so much alike, in appearance and boldness. If given the time, I’m sure I could come around to really loving her, but I was still unsure about her past, about the hurt she’d caused Connell, that I couldn’t make a sound judgment on anything at the moment.
I swallowed hard, trying to work up the courage to ask her something I had no right to.
“Something on your mind?” she asked when I’d remained silent and staring at her way past the awkward mark.
“Do you know where Connell is?” I blurted out the question, having to force the words past the fear that clogged my throat. If I opened this door between us again, he could just as easily crush me, but like Nemo had said, I couldn’t give up on someone like Connell.
Her eyes brightened before her shoulders sank. “He was really torn up about everything.”
“He wasn’t alone,” I snapped.
“Noted.” She held her hands up in defense. “What he did . . . signing that contract, well, it was downright awful. But his actions afterward should more than make up for it.”