Touching her lips lightly with her fingers, she unlocked the door to her room and hurried inside. There was no way to process what had just happened. Or what didn’t just happen.
Hannah was relieved but disappointed at the same time. Logan was right to stop, they shouldn’t have kissed. They shouldn’t even have been thinking about kissing. They were colleagues, nothing more. A kiss would change everything.
As much as she told herself that, she still couldn’t shake the stings of disappointment that were lingering in the background.
She had wanted to kiss Logan. She wanted to know what it felt like to have his lips on hers, know how warm his hugs were, and understand what he would do afterwards.
She wanted it all.
But she shouldn’t. Hannah flung herself across the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Everything was too confusing. It was silly to even picture being with Logan. He was an adult, and she still felt like a kid.
The image of Harry floated into her mind. Guilt mixed in with the confusion. He was really trying to get back together with her, he continually put himself out there for her. And she’d just wanted another guy to kiss her.
She wasn’t going to get much sleep that night.
CHAPTER 5
The best news of the symposium came the next day when Hannah heard Dr. Pendleton was in the Great Hall and mingling with all the attendees.
Hannah assured Logan she would only be a few minutes before making a beeline for the woman. She wanted to talk to the professor who had inspired her so much.
She weaved through everyone else trying to get Dr. Pendleton’s attention until she was at the front. Veronica would probably make fun of her for being so pushy – something she never was – but nothing else mattered right at that moment except speaking with her.
“Um, Dr. Pendleton? Can I speak with you for a moment?” Hannah asked, surprised at her own audacity.
The professor flashed her a warm smile, excusing herself from the other people around her. “Yes, you may. What can I do for you?”
Hannah hadn’t exactly prepared anything to say, mistake number one. She fumbled for something until all the words just gushed out of her. “I loved your speech yesterday. I want to save the animals like you are. I want to do it all, make the world a better place. Just like you did.”
Dr. Pendleton smiled, her expression even kinder up close. “That is wonderful to hear, and from somebody so young, too. Where are you in your career?”
“I’m about to start college in the fall. I’m interning at the Mapleton Regional Zoo for the summer.”
“That is wonderful. How are you finding the work?” She seemed truly interested in Hannah’s answers. She couldn’t have been happier.
“I love it so much. The animals are amazing and everyone knows so much about them. I never want the summer to end,” Hannah replied. She had to stop herself from rambling, the words wanted to tumble from her mouth until they were all gone. “But I want to do charity work too, I want to save all the animals and help those that are being mistreated.”
“It is a very noble cause,” Dr. Pendleton said kindly, her eyes were sparkling with amusement. “But if you want my advice, you need to finish your studies first. You will be of most help to the animals when you know how to care for them. Get an education and then save the world, okay?”
Hannah nodded eagerly. “I will, I promise. I can’t wait, actually.”
“That makes me very happy to hear. We need young people to join us in the fight.”
Before Hannah - or security - could stop her she flung her arms around the Doctor and gave her a hug. She wanted to thank her for inspiring her spirit so much but there didn’t seem to be enough words to do it.
Dr. Pendleton hadn’t just given a speech that weekend, she had changed Hannah’s life. She had a true purpose now, a reason for breathing every day.
And she wouldn’t forget it.
She thanked Logan for the opportunity to attend the symposium for the entire trip home. He eventually had to turn up the radio so she would be quiet.
The moment she got home, Hannah told her mother everything that had happened over the weekend, without leaving out any of the details. Except for the weird almost-kiss moment with Logan outside her hotel room. That was for her to keep secret, locking it within and never letting it out.
The next morning when she awoke in her own bed, there was no time to have a sleep in. Hannah had to rush to make it to the zoo in time for her shift.
She checked in and then hurried to the otter enclosure, showing up for her duty just in time. Alicia was already waiting for her.
“Where’s the fire?” Alicia asked, sliding her glasses up to the top of her nose before they slid back down again. She repeated the motion a few times before they remained in place.
“My alarm didn’t wake me up,” Hannah explained. “I thought I was going to be late. How are the otters this morning?”
They entered the enclosure where eight otters were swimming in the water. As they spotted the interns, and smelled the food they held, they hurried onto dry land to greet them.
All eight lined up expectantly.
“The otters are apparently hungry,” Alicia replied, gesturing to the crowd of shiny black coats. “They are also incredibly cute. Here you go, boys and girls.” She started distributing the food.
Little paws eagerly took the fish they offered, shoving them into their mouths and nibbling quickly until they were ready for more.
Hannah grabbed some frozen fish from the bucket without even thinking about the smell or messiness. She joined in feeding the animals.
“Did you hear about Lindy?” Alicia asked as they went about their chores.
“No. What about Lindy?” She was the lead expert on the panda, Hannah didn’t know much about her except that she was quiet and kept mainly to herself.
Alicia reveled in having all the information. “She’s dating Cohen.”
“The reptile guy?”
“Yeah. Someone saw them getting hot and heavy next to the giant anaconda enclosure.”
Hannah giggled, trying to picture it. “I don’t think snakes are very romantic. They could have at least chosen the love birds’ enclosure or something.”
A wide smile spread over Alicia’s face. “I suppose so. Maybe they wanted their privacy, because nobody else wants to hang out around that giant monster. I wonder if the anaconda watched them make out?”
“Eww, Alicia. Don’t put weird images in my head.”
“The snake was probably like ‘hey, humansssss, don’t you have workssssss to do’.” Alicia laughed at her own imitation of the snake. Hannah splashed her with the fishy otter water. “Hey, speaking of new couples, have you given Harry an answer yet?”
Hannah considered diving into the otters’ water just to avoid the conversation. Suddenly it didn’t seem like such a good idea telling Alicia everything a few days ago when they were on panda-watch together.
She sighed. “No. I’m not sure what to say.”
“Girl, if you don’t take that human-sized pile of hotness, I’m going to have to. A guy like that should not be single.” Alicia back up her words with a smile, telling Hannah she was only kidding. Maybe. Sort of.
Hannah chewed on her bottom lip, unsure if her next words should be out in the open. She trusted Alicia, they’d grown very close over the last few weeks since starting their internship.
But… once the words were out there, they were true. If she kept them inside, then she could deny them for as long as possible.
On the other hand, she needed someone to talk to and Veronica didn’t really understand the situation like Alicia did – she knew all the parties involved.
Hannah took a deep breath and let it go. “What about if I like someone else?”
Alicia stopped in her tracks and gave her all her attention. “Like who? Who could possibly be better than Harry ‘the hottie’ Shephard?”
“Maybe Logan?”
Alicia’s j
aw dropped open as she processed everything. “If you would have said anyone else, I would have had to slap some sense into you. Fortunately for you, Logan is a mega-god. In a weird, crazy way. You really like him like that?”
There was an inch of guilt in Hannah as she nodded. Alicia had a crush on Logan too, which made her admission even worse.
“But I don’t really have a shot with him,” Hannah added quickly. “I mean, he’s this incredible vet and I’m just a stupid intern. He would never look at me like that.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.”
“What do you mean?”
Alicia shrugged. “I mean that he picks you for all his surgeries, he took you to the symposium last weekend, and he’s always around you. I mean, come on, it can’t be a coincidence that you’re always rostered on together. Can it?”
All those things had occurred to Hannah before but she told herself it was stupid reading too much into it. Coincidences did happen, right? It could have just been that.
She sighed. “But then there’s Harry. He’s so amazing and I know we could have something nice together. We’re in the same place, mentally and all.”
“You’re going to have to decide soon,” Alicia warned. “Otherwise someone is going to get hurt. I just don’t want it to be all three of you.”
Neither did Hannah.
Why did hearts have to be so complicated and fragile?
CHAPTER 6
Despite the fun of playing with the otters for most of the day, Hannah was glad her shift was over. She was tired, ready for a night at home away from all the drama of the zoo.
As she opened her locker to grab her handbag, a piece of paper fell out. She picked it up, opening the neat fold to read the message written on it:
Will you go on a date with me this weekend?
Reply here: ____________________
xoxo Harry
Hannah smiled at the simplicity of the note. There were no frilly words or declarations of love. It was a simple request, yet it was such a complicated answer.
In the end, with Alicia’s warning echoing in her mind, she knew she couldn’t put it off any longer. She hastily found a pen and scrawled a response on the line before slipping it into Harry’s locker just a few down from hers.
“What was your answer?”
The voice made Hannah jump out of her skin. She turned around to face Harry as he leaned against the doorframe. His brow was wrinkled with concern. She knew she had caused that wrinkle and the guilt stabbed at her just as painfully as a knife.
“On the note? Did you say yes or no?” he prompted when she remained silent. She hadn’t been expecting him, thought she could get away with sliding the note into the slot of his locker and then skulking away.
Saying the answer to his face was never a possibility in her mind. She took a deep breath, knowing he would find out anyway. She had to stand by her decision and see it through.
“I said yes,” she confessed.
Harry’s face instantly relaxed into a grin of pure happiness. “Really? You’ll go out with me this weekend?”
Hannah couldn’t control the laughter escaping from her mouth. Seeing how happy she made him now, she knew she had made the right decision. “Yes, this weekend. Let me know what time and where we will meet.”
“I already know. Six o’clock on Saturday. I’ll pick you up from your house,” Harry said quickly. Now he had her on his hook, he wasn’t going to let her go. “I’m so excited. Saturday can’t come fast enough now.”
His excitement was infectious. “I’m looking forward to it too,” she replied, finding the words were truer than she expected them to be.
She was excited about their date. More excited than she thought was possible. Perhaps she had made the right decision. Logan was just a silly crush, she needed to forget about him in that way.
Hannah grabbed her handbag and closed her locker. “I’ll see you then. Have a good shift.”
“I will now.”
She covered her smile with her hand as she left the staff locker room and headed home. It felt good finally making a decision and making Harry happy in the process.
Yet as soon as she was in her car, Logan kept popping into her head and making all the doubts come rushing back to her. His image would not leave her alone as it haunted her.
Logan was funny.
So was Harry.
Logan was incredibly cute.
Harry was hot.
Logan was kind, generous, and intelligent.
So was Harry.
The thoughts swirled around in her mind until she was ready to bang her head against the window just to be able to think of something else.
They continued for the rest of the week. Even when Alicia and Veronica asked her what was wrong, Hannah denied everything. She said it was all good, she was just tired. Which was partly true – she was tired of being so conflicted.
Saturday night came around quicker than she hoped. Hannah was putting the last touches onto her makeup when Coco entered her bedroom. Billy trailed in after her, his tail constantly wagging.
“So… Harry, huh?” Coco said, taking a seat on the bed. Billy jumped up to join her, rolling over for a belly rub with his paws in the air.
“Yeah. He hasn’t told me what we’re doing,” Hannah replied. She recapped her mascara and took one last look in the mirror. She wished she was as beautiful as Veronica but she would have to do.
“You two are so cute together. I hope you have a nice time.”
“You think we’re good as a couple?” Hannah asked, hanging out for the answer more than she wanted to admit. At this stage, she was almost desperate enough to take Coco’s advice.
“I think you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, and if you want to date Harry, then that is good enough for now.” Coco offered a smile and not much more.
“So we don’t make a good couple?” Hannah was confused, her usual state of being for the summer.
“No, you do. For now. Remember, you’re so young and you don’t have to settle down yet. Enjoy yourself!”
“Okay, Mom. Will do.” She shook her head and grabbed a light sweater just in case the night grew chilly. She patted Billy and gave Coco a hug just as Harry pulled up outside.
He had a car now, which was probably better than the bicycle he had used to pick her up for their very first date. Hannah couldn’t help but wonder if this date would be as magical as that first one.
Would her stomach flutter?
Would her giggles be nervous?
Would she be able to imagine her entire life played out before her with Harry at her side?
She could only wait and see. For now, she tried to keep her mind open without thinking too hard. It was just one date, it wasn’t like they were running away to Las Vegas to get married or anything.
One date. That’s all.
Harry had his hand poised and ready to knock when she opened the door and beat him to the punchline. He was wearing a blue shirt and khaki pants. He’d combed his hair and his breath smelt like toothpaste.
The fact his shirt brought out the deep blueness of his eyes didn’t escape Hannah’s attention. In fact, it made all the air completely disappear from her lungs.
“You look beautiful,” he said, unable to tear his eyes away from her. The grin quirking his lips threatened to remain there permanently, tattooed in place.
“Thank you,” Hannah replied shyly. Having cohesive thoughts was a little difficult at that moment. The butterflies in her stomach were distracting her.
Harry held out his hand for her to take. “I hope you’re hungry.”
Eating was the last thing on her mind, but Hannah nodded anyway. It was all she could do as the familiar thudding started beating away in her heart.
It was going to be a date to remember.
CHAPTER 7
When Hannah imagined a date with the eighteen year old Harry, she pictured the same things happening as when they were fifteen. She thought it would be perfectly awkward
and full of stars swimming in her eyes.
Dating the eighteen year old version of Harry was much different.
In the best way possible.
They dined at a real restaurant, for one. A fancy place with real tablecloths made out of fabric and a waitress who brought you everything you asked for.
The second major difference was Harry himself. Over the last three years he’d gained confidence and developed the charm he always had a natural affinity for. He seemed to know the right things to say and the right things to do.
Hannah had felt herself floating throughout the entire thing. She noticed the small things the most. Like the way Harry had a scar just about his left eyebrow that wasn’t there before. And the way his teeth were just a little bit out of alignment but it seemed to only make him more attractive.
If she was being completely honest, she didn’t want the night to end. When dessert was finished, she left one spoonful resting on the plate, just to extend it a little longer.
“Are you going to eat that?” Harry asked, his eyes falling on the chocolate pudding. His appetite was still veracious, some things were impossible to change.
Hannah picked up the spoon and held it out for him. Perhaps she wouldn’t need to make the night last forever if they were together permanently. They could make every night just as wonderful as the last.
Harry gratefully finished off the pudding. “Are you ready for part two of our date?”
“There’s a part two?”
“Yep. How are your walking shoes?” He looked underneath the table to see her sensible ballet flats. “Can you walk in those?”
Hannah wriggled her toes. “Of course I can.” She laughed, wondering what kind of hiking Harry had in mind. Surely it was too dark to climb the steep cliffs? With Harry it was difficult to know. He was just as unpredictable now as he ever was before.
“Good. Because there’s something I want to show you.” No matter how many times she asked, Harry wouldn’t give away any more details.
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