She scanned the letterhead. Her cheek twitched.
She crumpled the paper between her hands.
Alden
The moan was low, painful, and it went on until his entire head was full with it, until there was nothing but the moaning.
He woke to a darkness lifted by three lights. One, the beeping monitor hooked up by patches to his chest. Another, a strip of light setup behind him that only made the room feel colder and more alone. Its light barely illuminated the sheet that covered him from chest to feet. The third, a rectangle that seeped around the door where the twin tubes disappeared, turning it into something like a magic portal.
It didn’t seem that far off to him—whatever was behind that door, it was going to make him whole again.
The moaning sound stopped. His ears rang from the silence.
He didn’t know what that meant. Was he fully cured now? He tried to examine his skin, but the bluish light only made him look even more dead than when he’d been a Feeb. The room was empty except for the equipment and that speaker, lens, and vent.
Sometimes, in quiet moments like this he felt sorry he had left his father. Deep down, his father cared deeply. His father was frantic over his mother sleeping an eternal sleep.
The moan came back, but this time it had a direction—behind the door where the tubing disappeared. He bit his lip so hard he tasted that metallic sourness again. He struggled to sit up and found he could.
They no longer had him strapped down.
The tubing pumped the medicine into him but suddenly he didn’t care. The cure was behind that door. This was his chance to escape with it and take it to Maibe.
He touched his bare feet to the stone floor. Cold shot up his legs. The moans stopped. The sound was not in his head.
He stepped toward the door. The monitor crashed to the floor. He ripped off the remaining patches and tore out the tubes. His arms burned. The tubing squirted dark, black liquid onto the ground. How could this be the medicine?
His lungs ached, like the air in the room was thin, as if he were breathing after a long hike up a mountain. He wavered, dizzy from standing up too fast. Part of him thought he should return to the bed—the moans were a side effect. They were a sign of his brain still betraying him.
He pushed on until he came to the door. The tubing snaked beneath the bottom crack. It looked more like a supply closet than something that would store medical devices. He pressed his forehead against it, hoping the shock of cold would clear his thoughts. Instead a headache began to pound behind his ears.
The liquid grew into a pond on the floor and became a mucky, dark swamp. They said it cost so much. It was going to waste now. Should he collect it? What if it all got used up and there was nothing left for Maibe?
He felt so weak, as if from blood loss. Fear struck him like lightning. Were they taking his blood? Were they trying to kill him?
He yanked open the door.
The light blinded him, it was so white, so complete. This dark snake curved along the floor and up a metal bed leg and into the arm of one of the uninfected that had arrived just yesterday.
The moans came from him.
The tubing snaked into his arm.
Alden didn’t want to see this. His stomach flipped. He wanted to puke. He wanted to scream.
He understood now what they meant about cost.
Chapter 24
It smelled like a barbecue.
Gabbi returned from looking out through the doorway. “I think most of them are Feebs who have turned.”
We sat next to one of the pools and used Ricker’s bandanna to filter the water into something we hoped was safe to drink. The fire had driven the Vs out in front of it—toward our cement island.
“There’s more.” Gabbi described how the Vs were pressing against one section of the fence because there was nowhere else for them to go. Soon the fence would topple under their weight.
The water dripped through the bandanna into Ricker’s cupped hands.
“We’ll find the cure,” I said fiercely.
“You can’t be sure of that,” Gabbi said. “No one can be sure of that.”
“What else is there to believe in?” I said.
“Ourselves,” she said, but it lacked her normal bravado. She looked at Ricker. “Just remember your promise.”
“What promise?”
Ricker sipped from his hands. He held my gaze. It wasn’t mean, but it wasn’t kind either. “We promised not to let each other hurt anyone.”
I didn’t understand at first. It seemed like a stupid promise, one that we had made a million times, one that we didn’t even need to say out loud. Then it dawned on me.
“You would kill each other.”
“We would die to keep each other safe. To keep you safe.” Gabbi rubbed the list of scarred names on her arm. All of those people already dead.
Ricker had his own list. He took the bandanna from me. “Your turn.”
I rubbed my scars before cupping my hands underneath the bandanna. My names overlapped with theirs. Leaf. Spencer.
The cold water dripped into my hands. My mouth tasted so dry in spite of the water. The roar of the fire sounded muffled inside, like maybe it wasn’t so bad out there. I understood Gabbi’s stony silence now. She wasn’t angry with me. She was more scared than she had ever been in her life.
“I won’t let either of you die,” I said.
Gabbi shook her head. A half-smile formed. “Where’s the zombie-girl when you need her? We’re already dead, remember? Or did you forget?”
I swallowed around a knot in my throat. “Maybe we are dead, maybe we aren’t, but that doesn’t get us out of doing what’s right.”
“Keeping ourselves from hurting somebody else seems pretty right to me,” Gabbi said.
I didn’t say anything until both Ricker and Gabbi looked at me. “We’re going to figure this out.”
Ricker shook his head, flipping his hair over his eyes. Something outside crashed. It sounded metallic and final. The fence.
Ricker dropped his bandanna in the puddle. The uninfected rushed outside. We followed close behind.
The Vs were inside the camp.
A wall of orange flames leapt into the sky behind them. Smoke plumes enveloped some of the Vs, making it impossible to count their numbers. But even the ones we could see—there were too many.
Sergeant Bennings shouted orders. We ran outside and tried piling into the truck. There wasn’t enough room. More than two dozen of us. Seven Feebs and the rest were uninfected.
Hugh shouted. “Leave the infected!”
Sergeant Bennings told Hugh to drive. He pushed Jane and two other uninfected into the cab with Hugh. He jumped into the truck bed next. The Vs at the front of the pack saw us and sprinted in our direction.
It was too much. Feeb skin, V hate in their eyes. Bernice and Nindal laid Tabitha down on the truck bed while uninfected climbed over her.
Sergeant Bennings just looked at Gabbi and Ricker. “Maibe inside.”
I shook my head. “No way.” I backed away from the truck. “You find room for everyone or none of us.”
“Just go, Maibe,” Ricker said.
“Don’t be a fool,” Gabbi said. “Close the damn truck gate and we’ll use the bumper.”
The fire’s roar grew in volume. Human voices carried on the wind. Angry, vicious shouts.
I jumped into the bed next to Bernice and Nindal. Behind them was Leon, a tire iron ready in his hands. The rest of the truck was jammed with the uninfected, their masks and gloves and long sleeves making it impossible to tell anyone apart.
Bernice slammed the gate closed. We were packed like sardines inside. An uninfected’s plastic face mask jabbed me in the neck. Even through the smoke I could smell the stink of their bodies, the way their safety gear had trapped the sweat and made it molder.
Ricker and Gabbi held onto the back. I pushed Nindal and Bernice aside until I was up against the gate. I pressed my hands down on thei
rs to keep them attached to the truck.
If they bounced off, I was going with them.
The engine roared to life even as the Vs closed in. Uninfected shouted and screamed. I yelled out for the truck to get moving. If Ricker or Gabbi were bit, it wouldn’t matter how hard I held on, they’d be lost in the fevers.
Hugh gunned it, fishtailing down the gravel path. Ricker’s hands were slick with sweat, water, fear. Suddenly one hand got loose. He was flung halfway off the bumper, closer to the snapping mouths of the Vs that raced for us.
I leaned out, grabbing him back to the truck. Gabbi’s hands turned white as they gripped the truck like a vise.
There was a scream. Something pushed into me so hard it pressed the breath out of me. A dark figure dropped over the side and onto the ground. He rolled and scrambled to his knees. His face mask was knocked off. Sweat and dirt streaked his cheeks. His hair was greasy and hung into his eyes. He began to run for the truck. Sergeant Bennings yelled and banged on the roof.
Hugh didn’t slow down.
The man tripped and fell in the dirt and the Vs and the smoke consumed him.
A group of Vs caught up to us at the next turn. Their skin was marked like Feebs—ashy, wrinkled, veins pulsing underneath—but their eyes were vacant, bloodshot, angry.
Shots blasted. My ears rang and all other noises disappeared. Two of the Vs lay still on the ground. Three Vs jumped at the truck. One V latched onto the back, between Gabbi and Ricker. His clothes were in tatters. A festering wound on his arm dripped blood and pus that were flung backward into the dust cloud.
The truck slowed and swerved around the guard box. The V was scrawny, but his muscles were like ropes that attached him to the truck. Pebbles kicked up and pinged him in the face. He twisted, growling, and leaned over. His mouth gaped open like it had a laser targeted on Gabbi’s arm.
I screamed, let go of Ricker, and shot out my hand. The V crunched down on my wrist, pressing me against Gabbi’s skin. His teeth grated on my bones and sparked a matching flame of pain from my ankle bite.
Gabbi roared and kicked out a foot that slammed the V in the gut. Ricker swung a fist that landed on the V’s jaw.
I was pulled forward, halfway out of the truck bed.
The V’s mouth was still attached to my wrist as he began to fall. The edge of the gate dug into my chest, knocking the breath out of me. Everything went blazing white with spots.
The pressure released as if a trap had been unsprung.
Arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back into the truck.
I cradled my wrist against my chest.
My blood had sprayed drops across Gabbi’s face, Ricker’s hands, all down my chest and on the truck. If I looked at my wrist I feared I might see it flop around.
The road evened out.
The wall of fire and Vs dropped back.
Ricker looked at me with such sadness. My heart broke seeing it. Gabbi stared at me with eyes as large as the moon. Her lips moved like she was trying to say something but no sound came out.
They watched me and they knew. Any second now I’d become trapped in the fevers like Ano, like Kern. Tormented eternally with memories of my aunt and everything else terrible that had ever happened to me.
They looked at me like I had just died in front of them.
The truck bottomed out.
My wrist slammed into the metal edge.
Searing pain turned everything red.
Chapter 25
Even in the redness, I heard the voices that spoke over me.
“Wrap her hand tighter than that. The blood hasn’t stopped leaking.”
“I know how to tie a tourniquet.”
A pause. Lowered voices. “Why isn’t she in the fevers?”
I tried to open my eyes but my eyes felt like someone had tied weights to the lids.
“Are you kidding me? What does it look like she’s in? Are you an idiot?”
“She’s just unconscious from the pain.”
“I’m awake,” I croaked out. My head pounded. My throat felt so dry and scratchy. Water sounded like the most beautiful thing in the world right then. Something hard pressed against my lips. I closed my mouth.
“Drink,” Jane said, her voice anxious.
I opened my eyes and my mouth.
We were in a field, bone-dry, weeds yellowed and thorny.
Jane hovered over me. The pupils of her hazel eyes were pinpricks. My heartbeat sped up. What was she doing here? Where were Gabbi and Ricker? I’d been unconscious, maybe I’d even been trapped in the fevers. We never left each other alone. Never. Not when it came to the fevers. I tried to sit up. My head spun and the ash twirled like a tornado around my head.
“Hold still.” Short spiky hair wavered out of the corner of my eye.
Gabbi was there, sitting on her heels in the dust.
The world finally stopped spinning.
I breathed out and forced my heartbeat back to a normal rate. We never left each other alone in the fevers. I shouldn’t have doubted her.
I gulped down the water. It felt as good on my tongue as I had imagined. It was cool and somehow sweet. It tasted like heaven.
Jane took back the bottle. “That’s plenty for now. Take it easy zombie-girl.”
“Say it like that again and you’ll regret it,” Gabbi said.
Jane shaded her eyes in the sun and I swore she smirked just because she knew it would drive Gabbi crazy.
Gabbi stood up in the dirt.
We were in the shade of the truck. Tabitha leaned against one wheel, her leg straight out, her eyes closed like she was sleeping. Dark figures came toward us in two directions but they were still far away. The smoke was this terrible wall of brown and the ash fell from the sky like snow.
Whose bright idea had it been to leave Gabbi with Jane?
“Please,” I said. “Just tell me what happened.”
“We stopped for water,” Jane said finally. “And a map.”
“And food,” Gabbi said. “Who knows when we’ll get the next chance.”
Jane looked back at the wall of smoke and nodded at the dark specks moving in our direction. “They keep coming. Like they can smell us.”
“They can’t smell us,” Gabbi said, a sneer on her face. “They’re running from the fire.”
“So you say.” Jane moved into a cross-legged position. Her blonde hair was tied in a ponytail that dropped halfway down her back. Her knees had worn holes through the material of her jeans.
“Do you really not remember?” I said, needing to know. Maybe if I just asked, maybe she would actually tell the truth now that Sergeant Bennings wasn’t around.
“I didn’t know where the place was until I saw that paper,” Jane said. “I don’t know how I got so far away, or why, I was just…I don’t know.”
Gabbi snorted.
“I remember some stuff,” Jane said, as if offended. “I got infected after the fairgrounds…There’s a gap after that when I was in the fevers, but eventually Dr. Ferrad found me. I know I can get reinfected. I know Dr. Ferrad was the one who cured me—”
“Did you see Mary?” Gabbi interrupted.
“I don’t know who that is,” Jane said.
“A friend,” I said quietly. “She protected them until the infection.”
“You don’t know what it’s been like out there,” Jane said. “I was alone after the fairgrounds. It’s been so easy for you—”
“Are you insane?” Gabbi said.
“It hasn’t been easy,” I said.
“You’ve had each other. I went out on my own.” Jane’s eyes shined almost like she had tears in them. “I left the fairgrounds alone and I survived.”
In the direction of the smoke and the Vs, it was all open field, but on the other side of the truck was a lone gas station. Its sign must have been at least five stories tall. An orange and red rectangle against the sky as a beacon to truckers and families on long road trips.
Suddenly I remembered a differen
t gas station. It had been along the train tracks and the RV had been full of people, including kids. The guy who had owned the RV had a name for it. Lana, Lena.
Luna.
Jane and the driver hadn’t wanted me on Luna, but Corrina and Dylan had. We’d stopped at the gas station and I’d run inside with Corrina because even then I felt as if she had a strength that the others didn’t. I had felt so alone and I’d known something terrible was going to happen.
I hadn’t known how awful it would all get. None of the movies I’d watched with my uncle had prepared me. We thought we would survive it together. He’d been the one to bring me out of my shell after I’d been given up for dead by my father and then my aunt.
It hadn’t been enough.
I’d tried to tell the truth, but they hadn’t listened at the gas station. Jane laughed me off as a little girl with a big imagination.
“You left me and Corrina,” I said, feeling an anger so quick and deep it surprised me. “You didn’t care what happened to us.”
Jane stood up. Her movement caused Tabitha to start as if waking from a doze.
“I did what I had to,” Jane said. “Do you know why there’s a cure at all? Because of me. Because when Dr. Ferrad needed to test it out on a human, I said she could do it to me. They didn’t know exactly what it would do. I could have died. I almost sacrificed my life—”
“Because you hated being a Feeb so much.” My voice raised even as my headache increased. “Don’t pretend you did it because it was the right thing to do. You did it because you would rather die than stay a Feeb.”
Jane’s mouth opened and closed like a fish.
“Didn’t you?” I wanted her to say it.
“I got myself infected and I got myself cured,” she said. “I don’t have to apologize to anyone for that.”
Tabitha pushed herself upright and flexed her injured ankle out in front of her. When she seemed satisfied that it would work after all, she stood up. “Everyone around you is lying. They’ve always been lying. Why would you ever believe they would start telling the truth?”
I didn’t know who the words were meant for. It was something I would have thought Gabbi would say. I wished I had never tried to talk to Jane. I didn’t know what to believe.
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