Not that I wouldn't have been soft toward Ansley back in New York, but something about being alone made me even more willing to consider and even promise things that I knew I'd never really do. Not in the long run at least.
It was for the best that she left the night before, though a chiding voice ran through my head all morning, trying to convince me otherwise.
I got to the hospital and parked next to a car full of residents. They didn't hide the fact that I was the topic of conversation, but such was life. I was in a good enough mood to let them be. Good karma would come back my way, or so I hoped.
Ansley got out of her car about the time I walked by it, assuming she was already inside. The door smacked against me, and I stepped back, offering her a cocky grin.
"That's work place violence, Miss."
She rolled her eyes and got out. "I'm running late. File a complaint with the Chief of Staff. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear I mutilated something."
"Mutilated? That's a bit much." I smiled and moved back, closing the door for her as she walked toward the hospital. I had to jog to catch up. Seemed as though our little love making session wasn't making much of an impression on the Ice Princess.
"We have to stop by Nolan's office. He texted me a few minutes ago asking where the hell we were." She gave me a sideways glance, something like she might do to a pesky teenager.
"No one told me about a meeting with Nolan this morning." I pulled out my phone to check for messages. "We're just supposed to read minds now?"
"I was going to text you once I got inside." She walked through the door, her head held high. The saucy bitch was acting like I wasn't even there. Crazy.
Anger burned through me, and I reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her. "Hey. Did we make love last night, cause I remember something like that happening. Nice dinner. Flowers. Wild, passionate sex. You screaming my-"
She reached up and clamped her hand over my mouth as her cheeks flushed. "Stop it. We're at the hospital, and last night was amazing, but it was the past. Leave it there."
That odd feeling from earlier woke back up. It was a chill, a coldness, the numbness of rejection. So maybe I wasn't the only one trying to think things through. Obviously, Ansley had pondered on us a little too and came up short. Fuck me.
I moved back, turned and walked toward Nolan's office. If she wanted to keep things professional, then I would do just that, but she wasn't going to like it. I was a dick back in New York. A cocky one, and namely because I could be. I busted my balls in the OR and made sure to be the fastest, the brightest - the best.
She was behind me, or so I assumed, so I made sure to push the door a little harder than usual when I walked into Nolan's office. Hopefully, she could slip through and not think too much of it. She wasn't after a gentleman, and it was a damn good thing. Cause, I wasn't one.
"Parks. Ansley. Good of you to stop by." Nolan rose from his chair and smiled down at a large guy in a blue suit that sat before him. "Congressman Kade, these are the surgeons that will be operating on you. They're the best of the best."
I moved up and extended my hand to the older man. The tired look in his eyes told me that Ansley was right. We should have been operating sooner. He might have a tight schedule, but working from six feet under was impossible. Someone should have told him, but it wasn't my place. Knowing Ansley, she would speak up soon enough.
"Nice to meet you, Congressman." I shook his hand and moved back, making room for the beautiful woman who was sure to stomp my ego later that day. How she could pretend that the night before wasn't fucking amazing was beyond me.
"You as well." He smiled and extended his hand to Ansley. "I've heard a lot about both of you, and your brother as well, Doctor Crawford."
Ansley smiled warmly. "We're going to take good care of you."
"I have no doubt." He sat back down and turned to Nolan. "So not a day over two weeks. I have a packed schedule until then, but I want this taken care of the minute I have a breather."
"Of course, Clay. I think that's what we planned to do, right Parks?" Nolan glanced over at me.
Ansley stiffened, her shoulders drawing back, her chin lifting a little. This was her hospital, and I was a visitor. If I didn't know better, I would have thought that Nolan was trying to goad the beautiful woman.
"Yes. I'll work with scheduling today to make sure everything is good. We're going to need to do some pre-op work, but nothing too out of the ordinary." I glanced over at Ans. "You want to add anything."
She didn't even look at me but rather concentrated on the congressman. "I just want to throw in there that I'm a little concerned about you not getting this taken care of sooner. With the headaches you're having and-"
"He's doing it the minute he has a chance, Doctor Crawford." Nolan's voice held a tone of finality to it.
"Yes. I wish I could get it done sooner." The older man reached up and rubbed the side of his head. "I'll happily find time for the pre-op and such. I appreciate you both. Honestly, I do."
"Parks, please walk Clay through the procedure, so he'll better understand what will happen while he's asleep, and touch on the recovery time for something like this." He nodded at me, and I spent the next half-hour talking through the details of the surgery. The tension rolling off Ansley was enough to leave my stomach sick by the time we were done with the meeting.
"Excellent." Clay stood and offered me his hand. "Just let me know the pre-op dates, and I'll be here. I know I'm in good hands with you, Doctor Parks."
"With us both." I moved back so Ansley could shake the man's hand one more time. I glanced over at Nolan, who was the slightest pale as well. It's as if we were both waiting for Ans to lose her shit and pop off. It wasn't out of the normal spectrum of things that could happen.
"Yes, of course." Clay shook Ansley's hand and turned back to Nolan. "Breakfast, old friend?"
"Absolutely." Nolan walked around the desk and opened the door for both of us. "Thanks for stopping by. I'll come see you both later."
I walked out and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
Ansley's voice was monotone as she moved up beside me. "Well, you put him at ease. Bravo."
"I'm not sure that's a compliment." I started down the hallway toward the OR. "I didn't ask to be in charge of this."
"No?" She glanced over at me with a combination of hurt and anger in her face. She might be in her mid-thirties, but fuck if she didn't have the maturity of a wild-ass teenage girl sometimes.
"I'm not responding to that." I walked away and took a sharp left. There was no way I was fighting with her after the night we'd had before. I'd offered my body up like a baby-making factory, and from the way things happened, she took advantage of it. She didn't need additional drama or stress in her life. She might be carrying my baby.
The thought caused chill bumps to break out across my arms. What if that were true?
I closed the door to my office, needing a few minutes to myself before starting the day. I pulled out my phone to see a text from my best friend, Jackson.
You still alive, man? I ain't heard shit in a week and a half.
I smiled and dialed his number before dropping down at my desk. He answered on the first ring.
"Hey, you bitch. You can't call nobody?"
"That's a double negative." I leaned back in my chair. "So really you're saying I can call someone? And if so, then yes, I can call someone."
"You haven't had your coffee yet. I'm hanging up until you do."
I laughed. "You haven't called either."
"Been busy, man. Hustling is all I do nowadays." He cleared his throat. "How's it going up there?"
"Good."
"You sleep with Aiden's little sister yet?" I could hear the humor in his voice. Fucker.
"Yes. Several times, and she's still a bitch." I ran my fingers through my hair and stifled a groan. Going home would feel so damn good. I wanted to get back to simply being me without the pressure of Ans being in my world. It f
ucked me up more than I wanted to admit to anyone, especially myself.
He laughed loudly. "No score for Doctor Feelgood up there in Boston, hm?"
"Not this time, pal." I glanced over to see one of the nurses standing outside my door. I lifted the phone and motioned that I'd be in the OR shortly. "How about you? Hook a beautiful single girl?"
"Not yet, but then again, I'm not trying to."
"Oh, I see. So the minute Mister Big Stuff tries, he wins?"
"Fuck yeah, he does."
"We're talking about you in the third person. It's starting to weird me out."
"What's with you and the grammar shit before your first cup of coffee?" He snorted.
"I don't know. A bit of my mother in me, I guess. She taught English my whole life. You know this shit."
"Speaking of your mother. How is your dad doing? Things still on the downhill slide for him?"
"No. I got a maid, chef and a nurse to start coming by daily. His chef is a woman about ten years older than me, and from what I can tell, they're sweet on each other."
"Oh shit." He laughed. "Dad's tapping the help."
I rolled my eyes. "Alright, Mister Sensitive. I'm headed to the OR. Talk later."
"Later."
I dropped the call and got up, walking languidly toward what was sure to be a long day of saving lives and offering hope. Too bad the one person in the hospital who needed both badly wasn't receptive to either.
All I could do was offer, and I was about dried up on even that.
Chapter 18
Two Weeks Later
Ansley
Two weeks passed in the blink of an eye, and sadly enough, Parks and I were barely communicating by the end of it. It was my fault, and I wasn't sure how to fix it. Better yet, I didn't want to fix it. He was leaving to go back to New York soon, and life would carry on like it always had.
I walked into Destrada to see Gwen already sitting at our table. I lifted my hand and waved before ducking into the bathroom to slow my racing heart.
Aiden was joining us for lunch. Where I was beyond stoked to see my older brother, I knew that he would read me like a book. He would see my heartache and call me on the floor for it.
I pressed my hands to the sink in front of me and stared at myself as I took a deep breath. "Just play it cool. Talk about medicine, mom and dad and how good the food is. Be shallow. Keep it on the surface."
A deep ache resurrected in my chest as my heart contracted. I didn't want to be shallow with my big brother, but if I let him into all of the fucked up things racing around in my head, he would beat the tar out of Nolan and Parks and drag me back to New York screaming and kicking.
It was nobody’s fault but my own.
The door opened, and Gwen poked her head in. "You meditating before having to see Aiden?"
I chuckled and turned to pull her into a hug. "No. I just don't want him digging into my private life. It's a mess right now."
"When is it not a mess?" She wrapped her arms around me and pressed a kiss to my cheek. "Let him help sort it out with you."
"Not you?" I pulled back a little and gave her a cheeky grin.
"No, way. I don't have much experience with love or sex. I'd just tell you to try again, and again, and again. Try until it works."
"And if it never works?" Her advice wasn't too bad at all, but it required a much stronger person than me.
"It will work, Ans. I believe that with all my heart."
I released her and moved to the door, holding it open for her. "You've always been our dreamer. Don't stop. One of us needs to remind the others what it looks like to reach for the stars."
"I'm not sure that's a compliment seeing how pragmatic you are." She slipped her arm into mine, and much to my delight, my older brother sat at the table waiting on us.
"Aiden." I smiled and moved into his arms as he stood up. Tears threatened to spill onto my cheeks, but I forced them back. There was no way in hell I was making our first lunch as a family in forever about me.
"Sis." He kissed the side of my head and squeezed me tightly. "You ready for me to take you back to New York?"
Gwen laughed and sat down. "Bite your tongue, old man. She's staying here with me."
"You're never here." He moved back but kept his arms around me. "You don't look like you're sleeping."
"Stop analyzing me before I get a glass of wine in me." I smiled and reached up, touching the side of his face. "Your hair is turning gray. You look like daddy."
"I keep asking Lizzy to call me daddy, but she thinks it's a bit off." He winked as we pretended to gag.
I took my seat beside him and picked up my menu. "I'm glad you both were free. It's good to be here with you."
"Agreed." Gwen reached for the bread basket between us. "Tell us about this big surgery you're doing tomorrow."
"Yes. I want to go over everything." Aiden leaned down and pulled a file from his briefcase. "I wish Parks was here. Should I call to see if he's free?"
"No!" I said a little too loudly as Gwen responded with a, "Yes!"
Aiden chuckled. "Alright. We'll do it without him, but you need to pull him aside, Ans, and explain some of the risks associated with this type of surgery. I'm not just talking about medical risks, but legal risks, liabilities."
"I will." I nodded and crossed my legs under the table. "Nolan wouldn't give me the lead on this one because of that. I'm not sure I appreciate him being willing to put an attending, visiting doctor at risk instead. Seems shallow to me."
"He's not the type of guy to care too much for anyone that's not under his umbrella." Aiden pointed out.
"Or even those that are." Gwen gave me a knowing look. "He's not been bothering you too much lately, right?"
"It's off and on." I shrugged. "You know he's not happy with the divorce, so he's still trying to reconcile the situation somehow."
Aiden's handsome face flushed pink. "Reconcile? How do you reconcile what he did?"
"I know." I lifted my hand. "Let's not do this. We've done it a million times before. He's a horrid bastard that deserves nothing but misery."
"I'm not saying that, but Ans, seriously. You have to get the fuck out of there." Aiden's gaze bore into me. "You are one of the most brilliant neurosurgeons in the country. Come to New York."
"One of, but not the top." I smiled, teasing him.
"Well, of course not. I am." He offered a cocky grin that reminded me of Parks. "But, you're second."
"And your protégé?" I smiled.
"Third, but don't tell him that." He handed me the file in his hands. "Check out the notes I have in here when you have time. We can Skype before your actual surgery, and I'll go over anything you want. It's not a complicated surgery by any means, but as you know, there are risks with all of them."
"Of course." I put the file on the table in the empty spot beside me.
"How is Parks doing?" Aiden reached over and grabbed a roll, popping a piece of it in his mouth.
"He's brilliant and funny." I nodded, trying to keep my emotions on lockdown. "He's cocky as hell, but everyone loves him."
"But you." Aiden tilted his head to the side. "Have you given him a chance?"
"I don't know." I glanced over at Gwen, who was chewing on her bread slowly and watching us like someone might an old movie that they loved. "Tell me about your latest trip. China was good?"
"Sort of." She crinkled up her nose. "It was interesting seeing another culture, but I missed you guys. I missed the city and the noise. It's weird over there."
I laughed and glanced over at my brother. "See? We don't have to worry about losing her to another continent."
"Good. That's a relief." He winked at Gwen. "Your ankles are doing better?"
She leaned down and must have been rubbing them. "Yeah. Thanks for helping me with them. I guess twenty years of dancing finally caught up with me."
"Speaking of," I interjected, "are you planning on settling down anytime soon, and if so, where?"
"Ye
ah." Aiden leaned toward her a little. "Are you still considering that dance academy you've been talking about since you were a little girl?"
She leaned back and lifted her eyebrow. "Why did this conversation suddenly turn to me? Let's go back to Parks and Ans. I like that one better."
We shared a laugh as the waiter came up and took our order. I didn't care what it took; I wasn't letting the conversation move back to me and Parks. I was late on my period and scared as hell to take a test. What if I was pregnant with his baby? A delicious warmth raced through me, leaving me on the edge of being emotional again.
I wanted a baby so fucking badly, but to have it with a man that I could so easily fall in love with? It would have been fine if he were the type to settle down, but there was no way in hell that was going to happen. I knew that without thinking too much into it. I would be heartbroken if I weren't careful.
One more week.
"Ans? You ordering?" Aiden put his hand on my forearm and squeezed. I glanced up to find a worried look on his face.
"Oh yeah. Sorry. Thinking about the surgery." I picked up my menu as my stomach growled. I ordered a little more than I usually would, but there was a possibility that I was pregnant. I smiled at the thought.
"What has you smiling over there? Let us into your thoughts." Gwen picked up another roll and tossed it across the table to me. "It's about Parks, right?"
"Why would it be about Jacob?" Aiden lifted his eyebrow and gave us both a look.
"Because he keeps me on my toes." I shrugged and reached for the butter. "If he wasn't young and dumb, I might let him take me out."
"No, you wouldn’t." Aiden not only looked like my father but had the ability to sound just like him too. Nostalgia raced through me, lifting my mood. So many good memories came flooding forward.
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