I reached up and ran my index finger through her folds, parting her and coating my digit in sticky wetness. How fucking bad I wanted to eat her out, to press my tongue to her and lap at her come when she exploded, but it was too intimate. In my world, it means something far more than 'fuck me tonight and get out’.
"Taste me?" she whimpered softly, the sound so sweet. So feminine.
I could have loved her in another life. Not this one. She was the epitome of everything I hated about myself.
Poor. Angry. Emotionally broken. Vile. Dark. Dirty.
"Not a chance in hell." I set the belt down on the bed beside me, pulled a condom from my pocket and tugged my jeans down. "Come work yourself off on my dick. I'll give twenty minutes, tops."
She stood up and turned to face me. "Why are you doing this?"
"Letting you fuck me?" I glanced up and gave her a cocky grin as I stretched the rubber around the base of my shaft. "Cause I know you like it. Biggest dick you're going to see these days with all those rich bitches you're having to sleep with."
Silence.
I propped myself up on one elbow and gripped my cock, forcing it to stand to full attention for the girl. "Get on now, if you're coming. Last offer, Ash."
She growled angrily and moved up on the bed, facing me. "I hate you."
"You've said that a lot today. Turn around. I wanna see your ass jiggle while you get off." I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth as she obeyed. She was nothing less than magnificent. I had no doubt that a hundred rich assholes would take her up on the offer for one more drink... and another... and just one more. Then? Bed. Dates. Wedding.
She married them. I killed them. At least that was the plan.
The groan that left her as she pressed herself back on my cock should have brought me from my reverie, but it didn't. She was loose, her body used up by too many fucks in too short of a time. It was a shame, but what did I care? I was just another toy.
Her ass wasn't nearly big enough, but it was pretty nevertheless. I dropped down on my back and reached toward the top of the bed to grab a pillow to prop myself up with as she rode me reverse cowgirl. Her shit was completely shaved, and her tight little asshole winked at me every time she pressed down.
"You let this new guy take you in the ass yet?" I reached up and gripped her cheek as I pressed my thumb deep into the tight hole.
She cried out and undulated her hips, working herself faster. "Never."
"Pity. It's so tight. I love it." I rolled my thumb and reached up to grab her side. "He not the type?"
"Shut the fuck up, Nate." She dug her nails into my thighs, and I grunted loudly.
"Bitch." I smacked her ass hard and pulled her off of me, repositioning her so I could enjoy the better parts of her body.
"I wasn't-"
"Hush." I moved quickly, flipping her over and pressing her to the bed with my hand splayed across her upper back near her neck. "You need to learn a little respect, Ash. Seems the high life hasn't been so good for you."
I grabbed my cock, the rubber slippery from her juices, and pressed down into her ass. My body lit on fire. There. Much better.
She cried out and gripped the sheets with her free hand. The other one was lost between her thighs no doubt.
"Why can't you love me? Why can't we be together?" She sounded so innocent. I almost wanted to fall for her shit.
Viper.
"Cause we're toxic together, baby doll." I drove in her ass harder, enjoying myself as she rolled her hips and massaged the full length of my cock with her body. "Besides... you have a finer taste for the high life after living it. I don't, and I never will."
"So you're just good for a fuck?"
"At least today I am." I smiled and moved my hand up to the back of her head, pressing hard. "Lucky you."
****
Mikey was gone by the time I walked out of the back bedroom, which was a good thing. I didn't need to hear his holier-than-thou shit about leaving my youth behind and becoming the man he knew I could be.
Fuck that.
I was the man I wanted to be.
"Lies," I grumbled to myself as I grabbed my coat and pulled it over my shoulders. I snatched the keys off the table and heading out of the apartment. Ashley would sleep for a few hours and leave when she was ready. Her husband wouldn't be any wiser to her visit to the wrong side of town unless he was more perceptive than I was giving him credit for.
The cool fall air greeted me as I jogged down the stairs toward my bike. It would be a nice day for a drive outside of the city, but I wanted to see Jenna. She'd be working at the coffee shop I'd been haunting for the last year. Little did she know, she was the reason I showed up regularly. I fucking hated coffee.
Where Ash represented everything I wanted to run from, Jenna represented everything I wanted to run to. Sweet and kind, beautiful and bright. She didn't seem to have a lot going on outside of the coffee shop, or maybe I had convinced myself of that to feel better. Less jealous about who she might be going home to.
No ring on her finger.
I strapped my helmet on and got on the bike to head down toward the NYU campus. Where I figured I would stand out like a sore thumb, I didn't at all. Plenty of cocky bad boy types ran amuck on campus. I just looked like another tatted dick amongst them. It worked. It gave me a safe place to hide out and watch my girl.
Your girl? I snorted at the thought. Jenna would never be mine. I wouldn't allow it. She deserved all the pretty things in life. Things that I had no clue about.
Maybe Ashley was the best it was ever going to get. Maybe I should settle down and be thankful that someone was willing to take me into their arms after all the shit I'd done. Drug dealer. Pimp. Murderer.
The last one stuck out more than the rest.
Poverty did strange things to people. Luckily enough, it wasn't my problem anymore. My dirty deeds had finally started to pay off, and where I'd most likely traded in sleep and sainthood, both were highly overrated.
I drove in mental silence for the next twenty minutes, just letting my thoughts fade away as the beauty of autumn rose up around me. The leaves on the trees had finally started to change colors, and the streets beside the park near campus were littered with burnt orange and crimson leaves.
After parking the bike, I pulled off my helmet, locked it up and checked both ways down the busy street that ran in front of De Luca's Coffee Shop.
I lifted my hand and jogged across, giving the nice old people who chose to slow down and not plow my ass over a friendly wave. They smiled back and the older woman blew me a kiss.
I chuckled as I walked into the coffee shop and breathed in deeply. The smell of peace. Not the coffee, but what it brought with it. Jenna.
She glanced up from the register and gave me a cute smile. "Hi. What can I get started for you?"
How about a slow dance? Naked? Under the stars?
"Cup of coffee. Black." I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and swallowed my desire for something good and clean. Making love to a woman sounded like a waste. Carnality? Fucking? Yes. Making love? Hell no.
But for some reason, it's all I could picture between me and the pretty brunette ringing up my drink order.
"Anything to eat?" Her warm brown eyes moved around my face, causing my heart to flutter.
Stop it. Fucking pussy. Get over yourself.
"Yeah. You." I smiled and walked down to the other side of the counter.
The older woman with bright red hair glanced up and gave me a flirty smile. "We were thinking the cops finally got you. You haven't been in lately." She winked and worked on my coffee. Cynthia. She’d started about two months after Jenna. I liked her. She was a riot and didn’t seem to give a shit what people thought about her.
"Nope. Can't lock someone up just for looking dangerous." I glanced over toward Jenna to find her watching us. I winked and turned back toward Cynthia.
"This is true." She snorted and handed me the coffee. "Be careful not to burn those pretty lip
s of yours."
I laughed. "You hitting on me, Cindy?"
"Always." She wagged her eyebrows and went back to work. She could have been my mother's age. It was cute, but I enjoyed it more for the sideways attention it got me with Jenna than anything else.
She was too shy to say more than two words to me, and I was guarded for both of our sakes. A good girl like her wouldn't know what to do with a bastard like me. And I knew exactly what I'd do with her.
Taint her.
Tarnish her.
Make her scream my name.
Chapter 4
Jenna
Everything about the tattooed bad boy made my body ache. From the deep sound of his voice to the way he watched me like he knew something I didn't. If I could be as ballsy with him as I was with my friends and family, we'd be in business.
The business of making him spew like a fountain.
I blushed at my line of thinking, which only led me to feel like more of an idiot. No one could hear my internal thoughts. After watching him flirt with Cynthia, I gave him a shy smile and went back to helping customers. The mantra in my head rolled over and over, each time the chant grew louder.
Live a little. Say something to him. Live a little. Say something to him.
"Hey. You okay?" Sam stopped beside me and rubbed the top of my back.
"What? Yeah. Of course." I turned to face him and gave him an innocent smile. "Why do you ask?"
"Cause you get really stiff when that guy comes in. I've noticed it over the last few months especially. Is he bothering you?" Sam lifted his eyebrow. "Cause I can-"
"What?" I chuckled. "No. I mean, no. He's great. He's loyal to this place." I glanced toward Nathaniel, only knowing his name because unlike me, Cynthia wasn't shy at all. "I'm just attracted to him. It's... complicated?"
"I'd say so." Sam laughed softly. "Attracted to him? Why? He looks like a hood-rat."
My attention turned back to Nate. Thick muscles stretched his black t-shirt, and the tattoos running down his arms were tribal, dark, angry. His eyes were the color of the center of the ocean. Brilliant and drawing. His smile was sexy and promised things I wasn't even sure I could survive. And the way he filled out his jeans... fuck me.
"I love how he looks." I sucked in a quick breath, embarrassed as hell by the airiness of my voice. It'd been a year of fantasizing over the hood-rat sitting by the window, sipping his coffee and watching the world go by outside. How many times had I writhed in my bed, my fingers punishing my pussy with him in my mind's eye?
"I can see that. Go talk to him." Sam bumped his shoulder against mine, moving me out of the way of the register.
"What? No." I shook my head and looked up at my boss as fear raped my insides. "I'm on the clock."
"Who cares? I've never seen you light up like you just did. Like it's Christmas around here. Get out there."
"You just called him a hood-rat."
"So? You disagreed."
"I take it back," I stumbled over my words. "I can't. I just..."
"You just need to stop being silly and get over there. He's been coming in here for a year, and honestly... he hates coffee."
"What?" I glanced over at Nate as my heart beat frantically in my chest. Every nerve ending inside of me pulsed in anticipation of the doors that could open from a simple conversation. Would he take me home that day? Strip me naked and lick every inch of me?
A groan lodged in my throat, and heat burned my chest and neck.
"The man hates coffee."
"So you know him now?" I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to relax a little. It wasn't going to happen, but fuck if I wasn't trying to force it.
"No, but I know coffee drinkers, and he ain't one of them." Sam smiled. "Go. Seriously."
"I will after you tell me how you know he's not a coffee drinker. I think you're full of it."
"Nope. Watch when he takes a drink. He winces."
"Maybe it's hot."
"Or maybe it's that he doesn't like the bitter flavor of coffee."
"He could have added cream to it, Sam. Or a flavoring." I watched Nate lift the cup to his lips and damn if he didn't wince. There was no way the drink was still hot. He didn't like it.
"A man like that adding cream and sugar to his coffee. Sacrilege. He'd look like a girly man."
"My father drinks his coffee with cream." I turned back to Sam and waved. "Never mind that. Why do you think he's been coming in here for a year if he hates coffee?"
"You, pretty girl. Get over there and stop playing innocent. You're not fooling anyone."
"Whatever." I rolled my eyes playfully and grabbed a blueberry muffin before heading that way. The plate shook in my hand, and I hated myself for being so damn nervous, but if the poor guy, or anyone else, knew the number of fantasies I'd experienced because of him... I'd die a slow death.
Nate turned his head and licked the side of his perfect mouth subtly. "Jenna. How are you?"
Four words. It was a record.
"I'm good." I glanced over my shoulder to find Sam staring us down. "My boss wanted me to bring this over."
"That so?" He nodded toward the table and leaned back. Cocky ass. "Set it down. I don't bite on the first date."
"This isn't a date." I forced myself to sound like the type of snob my brother would be proud of.
"No? All right then. A year of flirting and no date? Harsh, baby girl. Harsh."
Baby girl? Why did him calling me some silly, childish name leave warmth swirling in the pit of my stomach?
His eyes dragged across me as I stood there, looking like the moron I was.
"Anyway. Here you go." I set the plate down and turned as Nate reached out and grabbed my wrist.
"Thank you, Jenna." He smiled and the world melted around me. I could almost hear the sound of my own screams from the morning before. Coming to the image of him touching me, owning me, fucking me within an inch of my life. If only it were more than an early morning fantasy.
"Anytime," I whispered and pulled my hand from his slowly. His hand was rough, calloused, strong. I turned before I mumbled something embarrassing and gave my internal thoughts life by speaking them out loud.
I wanted him in ways that I'd never voice. Not to anyone. Especially not him.
****
The rest of the afternoon was a blur as various customers filled up the small shop. Nate left about an hour after our conversation, which I didn't blame him a bit for. He deserved a real woman, someone who had the courage to invite him out or sit in his lap, or something hot and uncouth.
After cleaning up, I headed home for a quick shower and changed into a cream-colored dress for my sister-in-law’s birthday party. My brother could sit on something and rotate. I wasn't getting Denise diamonds of any sort. I wasn't getting her anything. She was a grown-ass woman with a billionaire husband. If she didn't have it already, he could buy it.
I'd stopped accepting money from my family years before, much to my parents’ aggravation. Why no one could understand that I wanted to be independent and proud of making my own way in the world was beyond me.
I pulled up to the oversized mansion by the bay and nodded at the valet who opened the door.
"Evening, Miss Jenna. How are you?" The middle-aged man nodded. I could never remember anyone's name seeing that my mother replaced staff like she did her shoes - often.
"I'm great. How are you?" I ran my fingers through my shoulder-length hair and pushed it over my shoulder.
"Excellent. Enjoy your evening." He got into my Toyota as I walked toward the house. A couple of deep breaths later, I was walking toward the sound of my family, laughing over something in the kitchen.
"And then Denise told them to try again. She could still hear the cow mooing." My brother laughed loudly, and everyone standing around him did as well. His bombshell blond wife was tucked against his side, her smile as fake as her breasts.
My father turned toward me and smiled. "There's my little girl. How are you?"
Everyone said their hellos, and I walked around and gave out hugs, hating every second of it. Denise squeezed me before moving back and gripping my shoulders.
"Darek tells me that you work down at De Luca. I love that place." She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.
I still wanted to know where my brother found someone like her. She was plastic. Fake. Cold. A complete lie.
"Yeah, but keep it to yourself. I'm happy living my little undercover life." I pulled back from her hold and moved over to pour myself a glass of wine.
My brother snorted and went into another story, this one about me being independent and failing at it during my freshman year. My twin sister stood to Darek's left, wrapped around a thin Asian guy I'd never met. My father and a few of his friends were in the circle, but my mother wasn't.
"Where's Mom?" I turned toward Kayla. She looked enough like me that it was obvious that we were sisters, but no one would ever guess twins.
"No clue. Go find her." She smiled. "You like finding things. Strays, adventure, yourself."
"You have something in your teeth. Big and green." I pointed to my mouth and smirked. Bitch.
The house was quiet as I walked through the long hallway that led toward my father's office. The bottles of brandy he kept hidden in his cabinet were calling me. It was the only thing strong enough that I wouldn't get sick on. I needed something to help me make it through the night.
I poured myself a quick glass and walked over to the small circular table in the middle of the room. Pictures were spread out of the Bertinelli family. I picked up an 8x10 of Erik, the best hitman in all of the United States. The son of the great Lucian Bertinelli. The family was one of the last remaining syndicates of old.
"How are you still roaming the streets?" I smiled and let my eyes move across Erik. He was beautiful, evil, delicious. Dark hair and eyes that said he would fuck you up without blinking twice stared back at me. "Too dangerous."
I liked the idea of getting involved with a bad boy, but Erik was a bit much. He seemed like the kind of guy that would fuck you and gut you in the same evening if he felt up to it. Nate looked the part, but something told me he wasn't at all the evil bastard some of my fantasies had forged him to be.
Doctor Feelgood: (A Bad Boy Doctor Novel) Page 70