by Laura Landon
“I told you I’d let you make that decision. I trusted you would realize Penderly wasn’t responsible for the attempts on Jonathan’s life. I trusted that you would do what was right.”
“And if I had not?”
He didn’t answer. She knew he wouldn’t—couldn’t.
“What debt do you owe them?”
“Debt?”
“Yes. Why are you so indebted to Lord Penderly?”
Austin released her hand and rested his forearms on his knees. For several long seconds he didn’t speak. When he did, his voice held a harsh quiet that was filled with pain.
“I owe Penderly a son. I killed the one he gave me to take care of.”
“That was war, Austin. Men die in the war.”
“This was different.” He swiped his hand over his face.
She waited for him to speak, remembered what Liddy had told her, that she prayed some day Austin would share what had happened with someone. She wanted that someone to be her.
She couldn’t give up. She had to do whatever she could to make him share his burden. “How was it different?”
He breathed a heavy sigh and she heard his agonizing pain. At first she didn’t think he intended to answer her, then he turned to face her.
“I was captured in France and put in prison. I possessed a certain knowledge the French were desperate to get. I sacrificed Penderly’s son to save a man I considered more valuable.”
“Was this man important to Britain?”
He nodded.
“If you were given the opportunity, would you make the same decision a second time?”
Without hesitation, he nodded. “I’d have to.”
“Then you did what you had to do.”
His confused expression said he didn’t understand.
“Not all of life is easy, Austin. Nor is it without regrets. You are luckier than most.”
His frown deepened.
“When tragedy strikes, most people wish they could go back and make a different choice or do something different. They live with regrets that are impossible to change. You live with the knowledge that you made the only choice you could. Take comfort in that. The choice you made was the right one.”
“You sound as if you’re speaking from experience.”
“Perhaps I am.”
“What choice did you make you wish you could change?”
A painful lump settled around her heart. The words were difficult to say. “Perhaps I haven’t had to make that choice yet.”
She saw his features change. He knew the choice she had to make. Knew the decision she would make that would affect both of their lives, their futures.
“Are you afraid you may make the wrong choice?”
Sarah sank back into the pillow and closed her eyes. “No. The decision I make will be the only one I can live with.”
She turned her head away from him so he couldn’t see the tears that ran from the corners of her eyes. She didn’t want him to see the loss she would feel and think he was responsible for it.
The room was quiet. Nothing sounded except the pounding of her heart inside her breast. She waited, hoping he’d say something. Knowing there was nothing to say. Finally, he leaned down and kissed her lightly on the cheek.
“Rest now. I’ll send someone to sit with you.”
“Are you leaving?”
“Yes. It’s time.” He crossed the room and opened the door. A light from the lamps in the hallway cast him in shadows.
“Goodbye, Austin,” she whispered before he left her.
“Goodbye, Sarah.”
The door closed softly behind him, and she was alone.
Truly alone.
Chapter 24
Sweat poured from Austin’s face as he raced down the footpath that angled through London’s St. James’s Park. He ran the same as he had when he’d returned from the French prison more than a year ago, but now he wasn’t running from the nightmares that haunted his past. Now he ran to escape the debilitating heartache that refused to ease. Now he ran to escape the knowledge that he would live the remainder of his life without Sarah as a part of it.
He ran until the ache in his side wouldn’t let him run any longer, then bent at the waist and braced his hands on his thighs. When he looked up, the sky was a mixture of blues and pinks and purples and oranges. If she wasn’t gone by now, she would be shortly. The message the Earl of Penderly sent him said they intended to leave London at first light—in the event that Austin would like to come to say farewell to anyone in particular.
Austin knew who he meant. Penderly meant Sarah. He was giving Austin the opportunity to say his final goodbyes before she walked out of his life forever.
He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bear to see her ride away from him and not try to stop her.
A fresh wave of pain slammed into him and he groaned a sound of torture. No, he couldn’t bear to watch her leave.
He straightened, then started to run again. As usual, he took the path closest to the lake, then headed toward the west exit. His office was near. After he washed and changed, he’d give some serious consideration to Gabe’s offer. Maybe this time he’d go to the country and manage one of Gabe’s estates like he’d repeatedly begged him to do. Maybe it would be good for him to leave London and live out his life in the peace and quiet of the country. Maybe now he could be content caring for the land while nurturing his memories of Sarah.
Suddenly, that’s where he wanted to be. Somewhere that reminded him of her.
He raced down St. Martin’s Lane to Long Acre, then to his office at 16 Charles Street. He opened the door and stepped inside, then came to a halt. His heart leaped inside his breast when he saw her standing before him. She was the most beautiful creature in all the world.
Oh, she wasn’t beautiful by Society’s standards. Her hair wasn’t golden, nor was she wearing a gown styled in the latest fashion, but none of those adornments added to Sarah’s looks. Her beauty, her real beauty came from what she possessed on the inside.
“I thought you would be home preparing to leave,” he said taking a step toward her.
She shook her head and answered his step with one of her own. His heart raced with anticipation.
“You don’t intend to go with Lord Penderly?”
She shook her head.
“Why not?”
“Because I would have had to leave you behind. And I can’t.”
She took another step toward him and his heart pounded like it had never thundered before.
“Do you remember when I told you that the decision I made would be the only one I could live with?” she said.
Austin nodded and closed the distance between them.
“I thought I didn’t have a choice in what I decided. I’d given my word. I’d promised Lady Fledgemont that I would always take care of Jonathan. That I would always make sure he was safe.”
Sarah lifted her gaze and looked at him.
“I thought that meant that I had to personally take care of Jonathan. That if I didn’t go with him it meant I was breaking the promise I’d given her. But I realized it wouldn’t have meant that at all.
“Jonathan belongs to Lord and Lady Penderly. He doesn’t belong to me. I can’t break a promise I had no right making.”
“Ah, Sarah.” Austin wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
“I can’t leave you, Austin. I love you too much to live my life without you.”
“And I love you.”
Every inch where they were connected burned with a fiery heat.
“I tried to imagine a life without you in it,” she said, “and couldn’t. I wouldn’t be living. I would only exist. I need you to live.”
“As I need you.”
He pulled her close. Her flesh was soft and she smelled of lilacs and roses. He slowly lowered his head and touched his lips to hers.
Their kiss was warm and tender, a mating of lovers who’d given the other their soul. When he ended the kiss, h
e looked down on her and caught her gaze in his. He drowned in her near-perfection, in the glimmer of her ebony eyes.
“You can trust me to always take care of you, Sarah.”
She smiled. “I’ve trusted you with my heart, Austin. Everything else matters little to me. As long as I have your love, I won’t ask for anything more.”
“Then we will both be content. For you will always have my love. That is a promise I will never break.”
Dedication
To the members of Prairieland Romance Writers,
who welcomed me as a fledgling author
and encouraged me to be the best writer I could be.
Thank you!
About the Author
Laura Landon enjoyed ten years as a high school teacher and nine years making sundaes and malts in her very own ice cream shop, but once she penned her first novel, she closed up shop to spend every free minute writing. She has written more than a dozen Victorian historicals.
Laura loves to hear from her readers. You can write to her by visiting her website at www.lauralandon.com
Other books by by Laura Landon
SHATTERED DREAMS
A MATTER OF CHOICE
MORE THAN WILLING
The Brotherhood Series
WHEN LOVE IS ENOUGH
BROKEN PROMISE
Laura Landon
is a Prairie Muse Platinum Author
Prairie Muse Publishing
www.prairiemuse.com
Covers by
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.
BROKEN PROMISE
Copyright © 2011 by Laura Landon
First print edition
ISBN 978-1-937216-12-2
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used in the context of another work of fiction without written permission of the author or Prairie Muse Publishing. Contact [email protected]
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www.prairiemuse.com
Laura Landon
is a Prairie Muse Platinum Author
Prairie Muse Publishing
www.prairiemuse.com
Cover by
BOOK COVER KING
www.bookcoverking.com