Nick’s shrug was almost a put down. Why should she have known? Had she ever been particularly interested in anyone other than his brother? The important Stewart son?
His smile told Fiona she was overreacting. ‘It wasn’t that big a deal,’ he said. ‘It might have contributed to my aversion to the kind of strenuous physical pursuits Al was so good at and it was kind of embarrassing that petrol fumes could set it off, but I grew out it eventually.’
‘Let’s hope Sam does, too.’ Elsie nudged the platter. ‘Help yourself to some more vegetables, Nick. There’s plenty.’
The medication settled Sam’s cough but all the excitement of the day caught up with him and, despite his best efforts, he was falling asleep well before it was time for the steamed treacle pudding Elsie had made for dessert.
‘Time for bed,’ Fiona said firmly.
Sam didn’t protest. He was almost too tired to lift up his arms as Fiona picked him up from the chair. He rubbed his nose on her neck. ‘Your bed,’ he mumbled. ‘’Member, Mummy?’
‘I remember.’ Fiona shifted his weight. Just when had her baby become this heavy? ‘You going to say goodnight to Ga, button?’
‘’Night, Ga.’
‘And goodnight to Uncle Nick?’
Heavy eyelids fluttered. ‘Can Uncle Nick tell me a story?’
‘I think you’re too tired for a story tonight, button. You’ll be asleep by the time your head hits the pillow.’
‘No-o-o…want a story, Mummy. The one ’bout Daddy.’
Fiona caught Nick’s expression. ‘It’s one about a long race,’ she explained. ‘I don’t think Sam’s ever stayed awake to reach the finish flags.’
‘I will.’ Sam was rallying. ‘If Uncle Nick tells me the story, I’ll stay awake.’
‘Uncle Nick doesn’t know our story.’ Fiona shifted the weight she was holding again and stifled a sigh. Getting Sam to bed was shaping up to be a longer process than normal.
‘But…he was Daddy’s brother…’
Embarrassingly, the small silence was loaded with something like obligation. Fiona gave Nick an apologetic glance. She hadn’t dragged him home in order for him to perform a role as a family member. Not consciously, anyway. Or so immediately.
Nick’s expression was unreadable as cleared his throat. ‘I know a few stories about Al’s races,’ he said cautiously. ‘I’m sure I could manage.’
‘Go on, then.’ Elsie seemed to think it was all perfectly acceptable. She stood up and started clearing the table. ‘I’ll have dessert ready by the time you get back.’
It felt really weird to have a large male figure following her along the villa’s wide central hallway. Even more disconcerting to lead him into her own bedroom, which was lit only by the small lamp on her bedside table. Fiona took a deep breath and tried to make a joke of it.
‘Congratulations.’ She smiled. ‘You’re the first adult male to step into my room since…’
Since his brother had died.
Oh, help! Why on earth had she said that?
‘In a long time,’ she finished lamely. The blush came from nowhere and her cheeks were flaming as she used one hand to shift embroidered pillows and turn back a patchwork quilt.
‘It’s a lovely room.’
Maybe Nick hadn’t noticed her gaffe. He was looking around him with apparent interest. At the seat set into the wide bay window with its lovely stained-glass fanlights. At the huge, free-standing kauri wardrobe, the cluttered bookcase and the faded family portrait on the wall beside the dressing-table.
‘Is that you?’
Fiona glanced up again as she helped Sam snuggle beneath the duvet. The photograph had a small girl with two long braids sitting on a swing—a proud parent on either side. She grinned.
‘Of course. Haven’t changed that much, have I?’
‘Your hair’s long again. It was short the last time I saw you.’
‘I’m just lazy. I should cut it off again. Kind of gets in the way for work sometimes.’
‘No, don’t do that! I like it.’
He was staring at her. The dim light should have made it less personal to hold the eye contact. Maybe it went on a fraction too long or maybe it was the way the corners of Nick’s mouth lifted into what seemed like a very appreciative smile.
Whatever. It did something funny to Fiona’s insides and she found she was blushing again. Hurriedly, she stooped and kissed Sam.
‘Sound asleep,’ she pronounced. ‘No story needed, you’ll be pleased to hear.’
With another soft touch to her son’s head Fiona led the way from her room with more than a little relief. No doubt Nick was feeling the same way.
Or maybe not.
‘I wouldn’t have minded,’ he said when they were in the hallway again.
‘You sure?’ Fiona caught his gaze deliberately. Searching his face. ‘This can’t be that easy for you, Nick. All these reminders of Al must be the last thing you expected.’
‘It’s worth it,’ Nick said softly. ‘I feel like I’ve found something I thought I’d lost for ever. Maybe even something I never really had. A…a family.’
He said the word as though it was something magical. Something too good to be true. And Fiona had the haunting impression that beneath the mature, confident exterior a lost and lonely man could be hiding.
That odd prickle inside her grew stronger.
It was easy to channel it and tap into her curiosity. Again, it felt personal enough to need a light approach.
‘So you haven’t got an adoring wife and six kids?’
‘No.’
There it was again. That haunting note that touched something very deep. Too deep.
‘How on earth has someone as gorgeous as you escaped for so long, Nick?’
He stopped moving. He was staring again and he looked…horrified?
Fiona gave herself a mental slap. She’d put her foot in her mouth again, hadn’t she? Not that he wasn’t gorgeous but—good grief! After her crack about having a man in her bedroom she might be giving her ex-brother-in-law the impression that she was coming on to him or something.
There was only one way out. Fiona laughed. Merrily, she hoped.
‘I’m allowed to say things like that. I’m old and wise, remember? Old enough to be your mother, in fact.’
‘Hardly.’
Yes. That was pushing credibility given there was only six years between them. It had seemed like a generation when they’d first met. Funny how the gap had shrunk so remarkably but that was probably only from her perspective. From Nick’s viewpoint she was still a much older woman. Someone safe because she was practically family. No wonder he had looked so horrified. Reassurance was needed.
‘Big sister, then,’ she said firmly. ‘Just like I always was.’
Nick said nothing and he didn’t return her smile. More reassurance was clearly needed. Fiona gave him a sisterly sort of pat on the arm.
‘Come on. Mum’s treacle pudding is to die for. You’ll love it.’
The pudding was hot, sticky and looked delicious, and Nick thought it tasted like sawdust.
It had been a terrible mistake to come here.
Not just to this house. He should have stayed on the other side of the globe.
He watched Fiona adding whipped cream and custard to her dessert. How did she stay so slim? Nick hadn’t been able to help noticing how that soft red jersey she was wearing accentuated how flat her stomach was beneath the swell of her breasts. Or how those old jeans hugged smooth hips and the long legs he’d never forgotten.
Of course he had noticed.
Even with the gap of so many years and his best efforts to relegate his feelings to no more than a teenage crush, nothing had changed.
He was only half listening to the conversation Fiona was having with her mother.
‘So he decided to come back to Queenstown. His wife died about the same time your dad did and his kids are scattered all over the world now.’
‘And you went to
school together?’
‘The primary school only had two or three teachers in those days. Bernie was a couple of years older than me but we were always in the same class. We did a science project together once. It involved making an electric current by winding a handle.’ Elsie was laughing. ‘My job was to hold the other end and test whether it was working. I hated it!’
Fiona laughed as well. A soft sound that struck the same kind of chords in Nick’s memory as the way her clothes fitted had done.
Were still doing. With a huge effort, Nick tried to join the conversation.
‘So did this Bernie end up being an electrician?’
‘No. He went into the police force, apparently. Ended up being a detective and solving all sorts of murders. Says he wants a very quiet retirement.’
‘Sounds like you had a lot to talk about,’ Fiona said.
‘Mmm.’ Elsie sounded almost coy. ‘He’s asked me out for dinner next week. And I said yes.’
‘Really?’ Fiona’s spoon halted in mid-air. ‘Good for you!’
‘It doesn’t mean anything,’ Elsie said hurriedly. ‘We just have a lot in common from the old days.’
Nick and Fiona had quite a lot in common from the old days but would she view that as a good thing?
‘I wasn’t suggesting anything,’ Fiona was saying calmly. ‘I think it’s great. It’s been three years since Dad died, Mum. It would be wonderful if you found someone whose company you enjoyed.’
It had been longer than that since Al had died. Why hadn’t Fiona found someone? Maybe she had. Just because she hadn’t had a man in her own bedroom it didn’t mean that she didn’t have a relationship. Discretion could simply be part of protecting her son.
It meant nothing.
Just like the startling way she had told him he was gorgeous meant nothing.
It was just as well Fiona could have no idea what the effect of those words had been. Nick forced himself to swallow the last spoonfuls of his dessert, trying to fight off a return of that unpleasant, life-disrupting, shaken sensation he had experienced earlier.
And he was failing miserably.
‘You’re very quiet, Nick.’ Fiona and her mother had finished both their desserts and their conversation.
‘Just a bit tired. Sorry. I’ve done a lot of travelling in the last week or so.’
Elsie took his bowl. ‘Have you had enough to eat?’
‘Too much. Thank you, it was wonderful.’
Fiona stood up. ‘I’ll go and change the sheets on Sam’s bed. That way, you can crash as soon as you need to.’
He had already crashed, though, hadn’t he? All those carefully constructed defences. Ten years of convincing himself that he’d been too young to know what love really was. That he’d find the right person. That he would never again experience that dreadful longing for something he could never have.
It had just been a careless query about his marital status. A few words that had given Nick an insight that had been as crushing as being relegated—again—to the status of simply a ‘kid brother’.
It wasn’t that he’d tried to avoid the responsibilities of having a wife and children. Far from it. It was just that until that moment he’d never understood why it had been such a frustrating mission to try and find the right woman. He’d been deluding himself.
There was no one else on earth remotely like Fi.
Nick gathered the strength he knew he was going to need. He pushed himself to his feet.
‘I really ought to go back to my hotel. All my gear is there.’
‘But—’
Nick had to look away from the disappointment in Fiona’s eyes. She might see too much. With his defences knocked so hard by the emotional shaking he was experiencing, she might even still see that raw, vulnerable boy he’d once been.
Had Al ever told her what he’d discovered on the eve of their wedding?
If so, there was no way he could stay here.
But there was no way he couldn’t stay either. There was a small boy not far away that Nick already felt an astonishing connection with. More than just a physical resemblance. Maybe it was the fact that Sam suffered from mild asthma—as he had done himself. Or maybe it had something to do with the hero-worship of Alistair, the superstar. It was almost like seeing a version of himself. Or what he could have been, before he’d become invisible.
He wanted to get to know his nephew.
Fiona was reading his thoughts. ‘Sam will be terribly disappointed if you’re not here in the morning.’
‘It’s only walking distance,’ Nick heard himself saying. ‘I could come back first thing in the morning and…and we’ll be seeing a lot of each other in the next few weeks. You’ll all be sick of the sight of me by then.’
‘No.’ Fiona was shaking her head slowly. ‘We won’t.’
‘Why don’t you walk back to your hotel and collect what you need?’ Elsie was about to take a stack of dirty plates to the bench. ‘And then come back. We want you here, Nick. You’re family.’
It was easy to smile at Elsie but Nick’s gaze was drawn instantly back to Fiona and the smile faded. The mix of emotions he could see was like looking into a mirror.
There was desire for something there but confusion as well. Trepidation, perhaps. An acknowledgement of barriers and a past that needed closure. But, surprisingly, there was something else.
Hope?
Nick’s smile widened again. Tentatively. It felt almost like an admission of defeat. He couldn’t run, could he? This might be the biggest challenge he’d ever faced in his life but he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t give it his best shot
‘If you’re sure,’ he said quietly. ‘I would really like to stay. Just for a day or two. Until I’m sorted. Looking after Hugh’s house sounds like a good idea.’
Fiona was nodding. ‘You’ll love it,’ she said. ‘It’s perfect.’
Was she referring to his accommodation plans or the fact that they would be spending so much time together?
Nick could only hope she wouldn’t find out how right she was.
Or how wrong.
CHAPTER FIVE
LAKEVIEW HOSPITAL’S small emergency department was back to normal.
Only a couple of the cubicle beds were occupied and the treatment room Fiona and Shane were pushing the stretcher towards was empty apart from the staff members who had been alerted to their incoming patient via radio communication.
Just what she would have expected on a quiet Tuesday afternoon.
Having Nick Stewart among the waiting team had not been expected but Fiona knew Hugh had been planning to give him a guided tour of the hospital today. They’d been talking about it last night when she had taken Nick to dinner at the Pattersons’. She also knew it was something she would have to get used to. Lakeview’s medical director was the doctor most likely to be available in a department where patient numbers were not sufficient to justify a full-time consultant.
‘This is Ricky Bennett,’ she announced, as they drew the stretcher to a halt beside the bed. ‘Twenty-one years old. He’s sustained superficial and partial thickness burns to his right leg and foot, with some splash burns to his arms.’
A look passed between the two doctors.
‘Go for it,’ Hugh invited. ‘This is going to be your department soon enough.’
The idea seemed far less strange than it had only a few days ago when Fiona had received the startling news of who was going to be the locum medical director.
‘Hey, Ricky.’ Nick leaned towards the frightened young man who was pale and shivering violently beneath his covering of blankets. ‘I’m Nick Stewart, one of Lakeview’s doctors, and we’re going to take good care of you.’
His voice was calm. Confident and reassuring. Yes. She could get used to this.
‘I hear you’ve had a run-in with a pot of boiling oil,’ Nick continued sympathetically. ‘How’s the pain at the moment?’
‘I’m c-c-cold…’
; ‘He’s had fifteen milligrams of morphine with reasonable effect,’ Fiona told Nick. ‘The head chef at the restaurant was quick to get him under running cold water and the area had been cooled for a good fifteen minutes by the time we got there.’
‘Megan?’ Hugh turned to the younger of the two nurses present. ‘Could you get some cuddlies, please?’
‘Sure.’ Eager to respond, Megan brushed past Nick to leave the treatment room. Fiona knew she would be heading for the warming cupboard where the folded, fluffy sheets were kept hot enough to be a real help in warming cold patients. And Ricky was cold, which had been an unavoidable complication of treatment thanks to the necessity of cooling the burnt areas of skin for long enough to stop continuing tissue damage. The best that Fiona and Shane had been able to do en route had been to cover him with a foil sheet under the blankets to prevent any further loss of body heat.
‘Estimation of area?’
‘Maybe eight to ten per cent,’ Fiona said. ‘No airway involvement. He’s been tachycardic at 120, respiratory rate of 30. Blood pressure’s been stable at 115 on 75.’
‘Let’s get another set of vitals as soon as we’ve transferred him,’ Nick said to Lizzie, the nurse manager. Then he turned back to Ricky. ‘On a pain scale of one to ten, with one being no pain and ten being the worst you can imagine, what score would you give your pain right now?’
‘A…a…f-f-four, I g-guess.’
‘We’ll do something more about that in just a minute. Hang in there, buddy. You’re doing really well.’
It was impossible not to be impressed with Nick’s manner. Fiona had seen a lot of doctors in professional settings and she knew that this kind of genuine confidence and warmth could only come from a combination of experience and skill. Even though he was in a totally new hospital with staff and equipment he was not yet familiar with, Nick knew exactly what he was doing and he expected to do it well.
Megan was back with the cuddlies and they put one on the bed before they transferred their patient. Fiona unhooked the oxygen tubing from the portable cylinder and attached it to the overhead supply as the three men in the room lifted Ricky from the stretcher.
Lizzie wrapped a blood-pressure cuff around his arm and put an oxygen saturation monitor probe on his finger. Megan got shears to cut the wet denim from the remains of Ricky’s jeans still covering his uninjured leg and pelvic area. Fiona swapped the electrode leads monitoring heart rate and rhythm and then covered the top of Ricky’s body with another warmed sheet, but he was still shivering.
Her Four-Year Baby Secret Page 6