When Our Worlds Ignite (An Our Worlds Spin-Off Book 1)

by Lindsey Iler

  “No need to apologize,” Rico assures her. “Dude’s sort of an asshole, by the way. What did you ever see in him?” He leans against the dining room chair and smiles sadly at Violet.

  “I’m starving.” Her clear avoidance makes me curious as to why she would date someone like Jeremy.

  “Let’s order some pizza,” Kennedy says, grabbing her cellphone.

  “It’s one in the morning. Nobody’ll deliver this late.” Graham sits across from Rico.

  “This is New York City. We can get pizza anytime we want,” Violet clarifies.

  While we wait for the pizza, Graham, Kennedy, and Rico discuss Griffin and Sandy’s upcoming nuptials. I choke on a laugh because no one knows Graham and Kennedy are planning their own secret walk down the aisle.

  Violet nods, silently engaging in the conversation. She has to be relieved to have a distraction from everything that has been happening all night.

  I, on the other hand, watch her every move, hoping for a glimpse into what is going on in her head. Every once in a while, she catches me, but it’s not like I’m trying to hide the obvious pull she has on me.

  “So, you going to tell me why you’re here? Coming to my rescue is more than I deserve.” I lean my ass against the dresser and cross my arms over my chest, trying to look bored. Not wanting Dan to know how happy I am to see him, I clear any expression from my face.

  “Isn’t that sort of up to me?” Dan rests against my headboard. “It’s been weeks. Haven’t heard from you. I’ve avoided talking to Graham and Kennedy because I can’t fathom a reasonable explanation for why you disappeared that morning.”

  “Dan.”

  “No, I don’t need an explanation now. That has nothing to do with why I’m here. I’m here because the second Graham said you were in trouble, I couldn’t pretend like my heart wasn’t beating out of my chest.”

  “I owe you more than a thank you. I owe you an explanation,” I say, but Dan holds up a hand to stop me.

  “How about, for now, we just sit and eat this cold pizza?”

  After everything, Kennedy and Graham thought it best to take Ben home after eating a late night snack. Rico is crashing in Amanda’s bedroom since she’s yet to come back tonight. I suspect she’s out with friends from work. She likes to run wild, something Rico doesn’t seem too happy about. He’s everyone’s protective big brother.

  “So, you feel like telling me how you started dating a jerk like Jeremy?” Dan asks.

  “I will after you tell me about Brittany?” I groan at the mention of her.

  “Fair enough.” He grabs a slice of pizza and takes a bite. “We met at a fraternity party.”

  “Figures.” I roll my eyes. “No offense, but she screams ‘future ex-wife of some washed up fraternity president who can’t let his glory days go’.”

  “She’s a sweet girl. She’s roommates with my teammate, Brad.”

  “Roommates, my ass.” I pick up a piece of pizza and pick at the pepperoni.

  “I thought the same thing, but they truly have a platonic friendship. For now, at least. We met freshman year when she was dating another baseball player.”

  “Shocker there.” I plop down on the bed beside him and turn so we’re face to face.

  “To be honest, I only said I’d go out with her because she seemed like a good distraction.” Dan palms his chest, making a joke about her large rack, and laughs. A playful punch to the gut has him sprawled out beside me. “What was that for?”

  “Girls aren’t meat, Dan. What if we walked around grabbing at our crotches and objectifying you boys for the sum of your parts?” I do just that, and he grins.

  “It would save us all a lot of time. I wouldn’t have to guess if a girl was into me or not.”

  “Every girl is into you,” I state. My hand ghosts over his body. “I mean, look at you.”

  “Every girl is into me now. Not before.” The sad look on his face turns my stomach into knots.

  “You have their attention, though.”

  “But do I have yours?” He brushes his finger over my open palm.

  “You don’t want my attention, trust me.”

  “In fact, the only thing I want is your attention.” He leans forward. My hand rests on his chest, and as if he thinks better of it, he sits back. “I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, biting the inside of his cheek. “That isn’t fair of me. I just keep finding myself in your presence and wanting to soak you up.”

  “I know,” I whisper. Quite frankly, I do know because I feel the same way. A yawn escapes me. The alarm clock on my bedside table screams at me. 2:00 A.M. “Want to watch a movie?”

  “You’re tired. I’m just going to crash on the couch.” He stands and leans down to kiss me on the crown of my head. “Get some sleep.”

  “You don’t have to. I mean,” I stammer, “you can sleep in here.”

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I’ll be right in the living room if you need anything, but it would be too hard to be in here . . . With you, but not really with you,” he explains.

  I offer an understanding smile and tuck myself under the covers. He flips off the light, but leaves the door wide open.

  I fall asleep, watching his shadow move around my living room.

  *****

  “No, I swear, I’m fine,” I say into the phone.

  “I can turn back around.” I can practically hear Dan turning on his blinker, ready to make an illegal U-turn in the middle of Manhattan.

  “Amanda’s here now. I’m really okay. But Dan?”

  “Yes.”

  “Thank you. For coming to my rescue. For dropping everything for me.” I fall back onto the bed. “You didn’t have to.”

  “No, that’s where you’re wrong.” His deep breath travels through the phone. “When it comes to you, I’d drop anything.”

  I don’t deserve him.

  “I’ll let you go, but if you need anything at all, I’m only a phone call away.” Dan’s voice lowers on the last part, probably his way of avoiding Rico making fun of him.

  “I know you are, Dan, and that’s very sweet, but I think the ass-kicking will suffice for now. Drive safe.” I hang up and place my phone on the mattress.

  “You okay?” Amanda taps a knuckle on the doorframe and steps inside.

  “I don’t know. There’s too much going on. Too much to think about,” I answer candidly.

  Dan coming to my rescue last night has sparked something inside of me. Since our break-up, I’ve used his tender side as a weapon against him, when in reality, it’s the quality I love the most about him.

  Amanda nods in understanding. “Why didn’t you tell any of us about what has been going on? We can’t help if we don’t know.”

  “He never laid his hands on me, if that’s what you’re thinking. His words barely ever registered, but it’s like when you stack something. The higher it gets, the less stable the structure becomes.”

  “How bad?” She sits on the end of the bed. “How bad, Vi? Because a part of me feels guilty. I’ve been around the two of you. How did it go unnoticed by me, one of your best friends, that he was treating you like shit?”

  “Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself.” I reach for her hand, and she grips mine. “I should have been able to stand up for myself. I should have come to one of you, but too much was going on. Too much is going on.”

  “Still a shit storm with your parents?” She grimaces at the mention of them.

  “Yes, and then there’s a mess between Dan and me. It’s all too much to handle right now.” I bow my head.

  “Want to get drunk?” Amanda grins, jumping from the bed and racing out of the room. She flies back in with a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses. “Do we even need these?” She holds them up.

  Leave it to Amanda to think alcohol will fix my problems.

  “I think you can ditch the glasses. Just hand over the bottle.” The liquid burns as it races down my throat. I hand the bottle back to Amanda, and she takes
her own gulp.

  “This shit is nasty.” She violently shakes her head in disgust, handing it back over.

  We continue until the bottle is half empty. Neither of us really care it's Monday. I’m still jobless, and she doesn’t have to work until this afternoon.

  “I miss Dan,” I whisper. My train of thought travels to the past. Although my mind is in a serious vodka fog, I still know I mean the words.

  “Do you think you did the right thing by breaking up with him when you did?” Her question snaps me back to reality. I’m not alone. She heard me say I miss him. Shit. Amanda giggles. “You don’t think I don’t know you miss him? You hardly have to hide it from me.”

  “Fair enough.” The smell of vodka fills the air in front of me when I chuckle. “At the time, I did, but there are these small moments between us where I wonder if we’re doing ourselves a disservice by staying apart,” I explain. “Maybe I should just let him be. Cut all ties. Put him out of his misery, so some other girl can snatch him up and treat him right.”

  Amanda falls back on the bed and laughs until tears form in her eyes.

  “Dan isn’t dating,” she says confidently. “And doesn’t plan on dating anytime soon.”

  “Nonetheless, I’m not in the right head space.”

  “No one is. There’s always a reason to keep our feelings to ourselves. There're a million reasons to break up, and even more reasons why someone isn’t right for us. But what you all seem to forget all the damn time is that you only need one, one giant reason to stay together.”

  “And what would that be, genius? Since you seem to have us all figured out.”

  “You love each other.” Amanda slides off the bed, blows me a kiss, and leaves me with her little drop of knowledge.

  Where does she think she’s going?

  “But what about the list?” I jump up and follow behind her. She preheats the oven, pulling a pizza from the freezer.

  “Is the list that important?” Her eyebrow raises. “In the end, do you think that stupid list is going to make you run into Dan’s arms? Is it going to erase the hell you’ve been going through?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” I shrug, uncertainty creeping into the depths of my heart. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

  “You’re right. I think it is a good idea. You should do these things. You should figure yourself out. But is it worth risking you and Dan over? What if too much time apart isn’t going to bring you together, but instead, it tears you apart for good?” She rolls her eyes at the thought before leaving me alone in the kitchen. “I’d give anything to have someone look at me the way Dan looks at you, the way Graham looks at Kennedy,” she shouts from somewhere in the apartment.

  I pinch my lip between my thumb and pointer, contemplating everything she’s said. It’s so easy when someone else says it. The follow through is the hard part. I run to my bedroom. One single piece of paper holds my attention for almost an hour. I thumb over the ones I’ve crossed off and then the ones I haven’t.

  “Will this change anything?” I say out loud, rubbing the tension from my forehead. I don’t have a fucking clue if it will or not.

  *****

  After the first good night’s sleep in a long while, I wake up with an extra pep in my step. When I bounce out of my room, Amanda is passed out on the couch with an arm draped over her eyes. I pull the curtains open, exposing her to the bright sun.

  “Seriously?” She groans. “It’s like six in the morning.”

  “No, actually,” I laugh, “it’s eleven. I need you to get up. We have things to do today.”

  “Like what?” She tosses a throw pillow, and it hits me on the side of the head. Her aim is impressive, especially since her eyes aren’t open yet.

  “I have to make plans,” I start to explain. “After we talked last night, I realized the list won’t change how I feel, but these are things I want to do. Things I should do. Today, I’m mapping them out. I’m buying tickets and booking hotels.”

  “Seriously? You’re seizing the day!” Amanda springs to her feet. Her hair sticks up on the side. Seeing my amusement, she pats down the rat’s nest. She looks to me with questions in her eyes. Mine widen in response to entice her to get a move on. “Okay, let’s go spend money we don’t have.” We laugh.

  “I’m going alone. You do understand that, right?” I hold out my arm, stopping her from going into her room.

  “I can’t even go to–”

  “No, you can’t,” I cut her off.

  “This isn’t going to be as fun as I thought. Just so you know.” Amanda huffs as she pushes past me and slams her door.

  “I love you,” I yell through the wood.

  “Yeah, whatever, I love you, too.”

  Her voice is muffled, but I hear her moving around the room. Drawers open and shut. Her shower turns on and off. I sit on the couch, waiting for her. When she finally springs into the living room, she has a wide grin.

  “Let’s go.” She points to the front door. “I still can’t believe you won’t let me tag along.”

  “I have to do this alone,” I explain. No one can hold my hand on this one.

  By the time we get back to the apartment, we are beat from the long day of planning. Amanda pulls out the paperwork from the travel agent and throws it on the table.

  “I can’t believe you’re going to do this.” Amanda smiles, just like a proud mother would.

  “Me either, but I can’t wait.” I fall onto the couch, shut my eyes, and pray this is exactly what I need.

  I walk through campus, the smile on my face larger than all the Starbucks coffee cups combined. There’s something to be said about a new season. A chance to make a change. New opportunities. Opportunities I’m ready to take.

  “Where were you last night?” Brad jogs up as I hit the steps to walk into one of the oldest buildings at the college.

  “I had reading to do,” I explain, glancing at him. His eyes are bloodshot. “Jesus, what did you guys get into last night?”

  “Ronald Harrison had a party.” His grin tells me everything I need to know.

  The name pretty much explains his parents’ tax bracket. He throws epic parties, but no one is really his friend. His house, one of the largest on the outskirts of campus, is too far for Security to patrol, and the local police ignore the noise. It doesn’t hurt that his father is a judge, which makes for an easy get out of jail free card.

  “Reading?” Brad’s confusion is hilarious.

  “Yes, some of us get an early start because we don’t want to lag behind. These classes are going to be the death of me. Those days off killed me.” I rub the tensing muscles on the back of my neck. “And I still don’t know what my plan is. I have to make a decision. Coach has been riding my ass because I’m taking up a spot, but I don’t know what I’m going to do.” It’s now or never.

  “I don’t know, man. I don’t think I could give up baseball, but let’s be honest, you only play because you’re good at the sport. You don’t truly love the game,” he states. His shoulder lifts as he dips into a classroom with a wave goodbye.

  I walk into the lecture hall, taking my usual seat in the middle of the room. Not too far in the back to go unnoticed, but also not in the front to draw too much attention.

  After a hundred students pile into the stadium-like lecture hall, the teacher explains his expectations—again—Don’t miss class. Don’t fuck up. The same expectations he had at the beginning of the semester.

  As he drums on, my mind races to what Bradley said in the hall. I don’t play baseball because I love it. Graham loves the game. I simply play for the activity of it—the ritual and the comradery. Now, at the college level, it doesn’t seem as important as it did in high school. On the other hand, I’ve always played baseball. I don’t know my life without the game.

  After class, I stomp over to the gym, my head even more confused than before. As I pass Coach’s office, he flags me down, but since he’s on the phone, I dodge him with a
wave of the hand and a fast pace in the opposite direction. The weight room is full. Most of the equipment is being used by scholarship athletes.

  “Coach is looking for you,” Greg, our pitcher, says as I walk over.

  “I know,” I say, my tone flat.

  “Still dodging the old man?” He laughs, shaking his head. He and I both know I can’t avoid Coach.

  “Not dodging,” I lie. Greg’s eyes focus over my shoulder. “He’s standing behind me, isn’t he?”

  “Sure am, son. Come to my office after your workout. Wouldn’t want that new body to fall into a rut,” Coach jokes, patting me sternly on the shoulder. He means business.

  I turn to face him. You don’t speak to him without eye contact. We’ve learned that lesson the hard way. “Sure thing, Coach.”

  “Greg, do you honestly think you should be in here?” Coach turns his attention from me. “I need a strong arm and an even more accurate one. Get your ass to the complex.”

  “The gym is for the ladies, Coach.” Greg flexes his bicep. “The complex is for my game.”

  “Get your ass down there. Whitson is already there. He’ll help you out until we figure out what’s going on with our catcher.” Coach’s eyes turn on me, a silent question on his tongue, before he leaves.

  “Coach has you by the balls, and your time’s about up.” Greg jerks his chin in my direction. His bag is slung over his shoulder, and he leaves for the complex.

  Lifting weights and a four-mile run are what I need to clear my head. I jog to the locker room and change clothes without showering. If I plan this just right, I might be able to sneak by Coach.

  To avoid him, I take the back steps where I run right into Brittany.

  “Where’ve you been?” Her words stop me before I can bust through the double doors. “You haven’t been to the apartment.”

  “Do we have to do this?” I sigh, looking over her shoulder to see if the hallway is clear. “I didn’t want things to be weird.” I glance back down to her.