The man stood where she had left him, calling out her name. With tears running down his face, he cried out in anguish. “Ahkeeah, my chosen one, I cannot walk my path to the sun without you. You are my bridge to my father. Until you return to me, I will walk in darkness. My woman, my wife, my beautiful Tia.”
Jessie sat straight up in bed and switched on the bedside lamp. “My God!” she whispered, her body bathed in a cold sweat. “It’s true!”
Chapter Twenty
In the lodge of his mother, Two Spirits sat thinking about the girl he had wronged. His eyes wandered over to his mother’s sleeping couch, made up of a piece of tanned cowhide laid over a thick layer of grass and covered with many blankets. His sister Sinah’s bed lay nearby while his lay across the lodge. He compared the beds on the floor to the one he slept on in the bunkhouse. He much preferred the Indian way of sleeping. A large cast-iron kettle hung over the open fire pit. The many stones placed in a circle around the unearthed pit helped protect the deerskin hides of the lodge from any danger of fire. For a brief moment, he viewed his surroundings through the eyes of the white girl he had left behind and he shuddered. What had he been thinking to allow her into his life? He knew he couldn’t return to the Thornton ranch, but he couldn’t walk away from Jessie either. She carried his child. A dull ache began in the back of his neck as he sat there, trying to muddle through his dilemma.
“Your thoughts war over what you should do about the white girl.” Pehta dropped down on the floor of the lodge across from him.
“She carries my child. I worry for her safety.” Two Spirits glanced at him.
“The one you should be concerned with is yourself, Two Spirits. Her father will demand payment for what you have done.”
Two Spirits walked to the lodge opening and peered out, looking at the vast nothingness meeting his dark eyes. “She would not be happy here. She is used to the big house and fine living her father has always provided her with.”
“No,” Pehta agreed, “she would not be happy here. But more important, she would not be safe here. Her father would come to the reservation and force her to return with him to her home.” His need to be brutal in his honesty warred with the deep love he felt for the saddened young man standing before him. “You are both in a no-win situation, Two Spirits.”
“I don’t know what to do, Pehta. I love her more than my own life, but I have brought her sadness and danger.”
“Do you want to know how all this will end, Two Spirits?”
Whirling, he stared at the man offering him a glimpse of tomorrow. “Your eyes already tell me it is not good. I think I would be better off not knowing what the days to come hold for us. Unless,” his dark eyes pleaded, “there is some way I can change what is to happen!”
Pehta rose, taking the taller man into his strong arms, hugging him to his chest as he would a small child. “You are right,” he declared, releasing him, “the tomorrows of your life are numbered with no way to stop what will be.”
As he turned to leave, Two Spirits reached out, halting him. “Will I ever look upon the face of my child?”
“No, not in this life.” He sighed. “But the child will grow safe in the womb of her mother and will be born healthy.”
“The child my woman carries is a girl child then,” he murmured.
Nodding, Pehta waited by the door, watching him. “Two Spirits, I have a great favor to ask of you.”
“I am here, my friend.”
“I wish this child you have fathered to be named Tia.”
“After the wife of your brother?” he asked surprised.
“Yes. It would be a great honor to me to have this child of your body named after the wife of Appearing Wolf.”
“Then it shall be done. If I am fortunate enough to see my woman again, I will tell her of the name I have chosen for our child.”
“You will see her again, this I can promise you.”
“Will it be soon?” he asked the deep longing for the woman he loved echoing in his voice.
“Yes, Two Spirits, she will come to you soon. Her heart is heavy with the burden she carries alone. She needs your strength to help her do what must be done.”
“I don’t understand. What is it she has to do?” Alarm for her showed upon his handsome face.
“The daughter of Eathen Thornton cannot stay where everyone will know she carries the child of an Indian. She will be sent far away, in hopes her secret will remain safe.”
“Pehta, I cannot allow that to happen. She must stay with me so I can keep them both safe. You have often told me that sometimes what you see can be changed through the actions of others. I must hold fast to this belief! I must trust in the Old Ones to make everything turn out right for us! If I do this, then we will be safe. Won’t we, Pehta?”
“I wish I could give you the answer you want, Two Spirits, but I cannot. When the time comes, you will understand what will be.” Pehta walked out of the lodge.
Beginning to tire, Two Spirits dropped down upon his couch to think about all Pehta had told him. But the one thought he kept returning to was the one of Jessie going away. Somehow he had to keep that from happening.
“I am glad to see you are resting, my son,” Aleah said, coming into the lodge and interrupting his thoughts.
“It is all I have been doing for too long,” he growled, rising from his couch. “The time has come for me to leave here and begin making my own way in life.”
“You are not a burden to me, Two Spirits.” She ran a gentle hand down the side of his face. “You are my son. I think perhaps Our Father has returned you to me to keep you from harm on the white man’s ranch.”
“It will do no good to try and talk me out of leaving, my mother. I am a grown man. I must do what I think best.”
“What of the white girl?” Aleah kept all bitterness from her voice. “Will she be going with you?”
“Yes. She will. I love Jessie. She is the one I have chosen to be my woman.”
Fighting to remain calm, Aleah glanced over at him. “She will cause you much pain, Two Spirits.” She filled the large kettle hanging over the cooking fire with water. “She will never be able to live the life of an Indian woman. Why can’t you see this?!”
“Jessie will learn to live in my way, for she no longer has a choice.”
At his words, Aleah stopped chopping the meat she made ready to put into the kettle. The hand, still holding the sharp knife, trembled. “Why does she not have a choice, my son?”
“The white girl carries my child, Mother.” He swallowed against the shame rising up in his throat. “When her father learns of this, he will try to send her far away. I cannot allow this to happen. She is coming here, to the reservation. When she does, we will leave here together.”
“And you think that will be the end of it?” The angry words spewed from her lips, all thought of keeping herself calm flying from her mind. “Her father is a powerful man, Two Spirits. He will hunt you down and kill you for what you have done to his daughter!”
“He can not kill me if he can not find me,” he pulled her close to kiss the side of her face.
She reached up; grabbing the back of his head and holding his face close against hers. “My heart is filled with pain for you. I fear after you leave, we will never see you again.”
Inhaling the sweet, clean scent of her, he whispered, “Someday we will return. If I see that we cannot, then I will send for you and Sinah to come to me.”
“Two Spirits,” she gave him a gentle shake, “they will not let us leave here. The Indian agent says we are never to leave here!”
“I will find a way. Do not worry, Mother. I will protect all my women. And I will do this without any help from the white man.” he promised her, his young face filled with determination.
“Two Spirits you must…” She grew silent as her young daughter entered the lodge.
“How are you feeling today, my brother?”She slipped her slim arms around his waist to hug him.
&nb
sp; “My strength is returning, Sinah.” He tugged on her long black braids.
“The Indian agent says you will bring trouble to us.” She gazed up at him. “He says trouble always comes to anyone who leaves the safety of the reservation.”
“He says!” Two Spirits pulled away from her. “He is not the owner of us! We are our own people! The agent thinks to keep us enslaved on this worthless piece of ground so the government can keep an eye on us!”
“Two Spirits,” Aleah admonished her angry son. “The anger you feel in your heart should not be directed toward your family.”
The teasing smile his sister gave him managed to melt some of his heated feelings away.
“I will never be too old to escape your scolding, when one is called for, Mother.” He smiled at her.
“At least you are beyond feeling the sting of the willow branch when she is angry.” Sinah giggled, moving to avoid the playful slap her mother aimed at her.
For a while, the laughter inside the lodge made Two Spirits forget the seriousness of his problems. But his sister’s next bit of camp gossip made the hairs on the back of his neck prickle with fear.
“The Indian agent says you have a white girlfriend, Two Spirits. He says she is the daughter of the man the government buys our beef from.”
Two Spirits’ dark face drained of color. “He should not be telling stories about things he knows nothing about.”
“Needrah says it is true. That the white girl came here to see Mother because she is carrying your child.” Her voice trailed off and her dark eyes grew large with fear at the stark terror covering her mother’s face.”
“Needrah lies!” Aleah spat, referring to the young girl who had set her eyes on Two Spirits many years ago. “She says this out of jealousy because she wants Two Spirits for her own husband!”
“I told her the things she said could not be true. I told her my brother would never take a white girl for his woman,” Sinah whispered, hoping against hope she had spoken the truth.
Two Spirits turned away.
“My brother,” she touched his arm, “you are not in love with a white girl, are you?”
“Enough of this talk!” Aleah declared. “Sinah, it is time for you to take the clothes to the creek to be washed. I can not do everything!”
“Yes, Mother.” Sinah moved to do as she was told.
As her young daughter walked down the path to the lake, Aleah grabbed Two Spirits’ arm to spin him around. “Now, do you see the trouble you and your white whore have brought down upon our heads?” she screeched.
“Jessie is not like the other women you speak of, Mother,” he growled in defense of the girl he loved.
“Why couldn’t you stay with a woman from our own people? Why did you set your eyes on a woman who will bring death?”
“Are you so old, Mother, that you forget how love chooses the heart?”
“Love! Men care nothing for love!” She returned to preparing the meat for cooking, slamming the knife down on the meat. “All they care about is getting the woman on her back.”
“I am sorry for you, for your ugly words tell me there could not have been love in your heart for my father.”
The cruel sting of his words drained any further anger from her. “No man on Mother Earth received more love than your father, Two Spirits.”
“That is the way I feel about Jessie. She is the other part of me, my mother. I will not leave her to carry this burden alone. My wounds have healed enough. I must take her and go from this place.”
“He will hunt you down, Two Spirits. You will never be able to go far enough that his hatred cannot reach you.”
“That is the chance we must take, Mother. If we go away, he will have no reason to come here to seek his vengeance.”
“He is a white man!” she cried out her fear. “You dared to touch his precious daughter! It will not matter that you are not here! He will seek his revenge on those of your blood!”
“I am sorry. I thought of my own wants and needs.” Two Spirits hung his head, unable to look at her. “I did not put you and Sinah first in my responsibilities as a man. How can you look upon the face of your son, without turning away in disgust?”
“Two Spirits,” she reached up, taking his handsome face in her hands, “you and this white girl have done a very foolish thing. I can not pretend, even for your sake, I am not ashamed of you. I am. But my shame does not lessen the love I have for you in my heart, my son.”
Gathering her slim body in his arms, he rested his cheek on the top of her head. “Many times I tried to walk away from her, for I knew the danger that waited if I let myself love her. But I could not. I was drawn to her without any will of my own. Now, my selfishness has caused all those I hold most dear to fear for their lives.”
“I feel I will never see you again.” She pulled away from him.
In silence, he left her to begin gathering his belongings. At the door he turned, looking at her beloved face one last time.
As she listened to his footsteps growing fainter, she covered her mouth, trying to silence her screams.
Chapter Twenty-One
Walking into the kitchen bright and early that next morning, Jessie felt surprised to see Hattie already up and cooking.
“How’s you feelin’ dis mawnin’, chile?” She turned away from the stove as Jessie walked by.
“Not too good, Hattie.” Jessie opened the icebox to peer inside. “I think all that silly talk ‘bout my menstrual cycle bein’ late reminded my body to stop bein’ lazy and do what it’s suppose to do.”
“Den whut you’s tellin’ me,” Hattie stared at her beneath thick brows, “is you’s ‘bout ter starts de mizry.”
“I think so.”
“Ah awready cut up an’ stitched a stack of flannel-wrapped-cottons, an’ put dem in yo’ drawer.”
“Thank you, Hattie.”
“Now,” she sliced through a large slab of smoked bacon. “Ah gots bacon an’ eggs awready ter fries up fer you, effen you’s ready.”
At the thought of all that grease, Jessie felt her stomach recoil. She closed the icebox door. “No,” she shook her dark head as she brought her hand up to cover her mouth, “I’m not really hungry, Hattie.”
“Well, effen you’s sho’. Ah gots ter fix Mist’ Eathen his steak anyways.” She forked up a large hunk of raw steak from off a plate to plop it into a large, heated skillet already sizzling with butter. “Ah doan knows how dat man kin eat sumpin’ dat’s still bleedin’.” She sprinkled salt over the meat. “W’en Ah sees him moppin up all dat bloody graby wid dem biscuits still a-drippin butter, Ah allmos’ gits sick ter my stomach.”
Whirling, Jessie ran out the back door, just in time to hang her head over the porch banister. When at last she could straighten up, she felt the warm washrag Hattie was holding, touching the side of her face.
“Ah think you an’ me needs to talk, chile.” Hattie turned her towards the door.
“It ain’t what you think, Hattie.” Jessie held the washrag against her flushed face. “I must be comin’ down with somethin’s all.”
“Effen dat bes de case,” Hattie tipped Jessie’s trembling chin upwards, “den Ah guess we best sends fer de doctah.”
“I don’t need a doctor!” Jessie slapped the gentle hands away. “Leave me alone!”
Upstairs in her room, she threw herself down on the bed, beating her fists into her pillow. “Oh God! What am I gonna do? She’ll tell Mama! I know she will! I gotta get outta here.”
Yanking open dresser drawers, she snatched the folded clothes up in her hands, cramming them into a small bag, when something at the very bottom of one of the drawers caught her eye.
At the sight of a heart-shaped locket dangling from a long chain, she felt her heart constrict with pain. “This is the locket Daddy and I had made in Miles City last year. It musta been attached to one of my sweaters when I put it away.”
She opened the small heart, gazing upon the image of her father and herself happ
y and smiling into the camera. “We had this taken when he received his Cattleman’s Award, and I wrote that speech on what it feels like to be the daughter of the best cattleman in the state of Montana. He stood and cheered so loud no one could even hear what I had to say.” She laughed amidst the hot tears falling down her face. “He musta read those words a hundred times before the ceremony,” she clutched the small locket tight in her hand.
“I wonder how proud he’ll be when he learns I’m gonna have Two Spirits’ baby?” The happy feelings she had been enjoying dissolved into those of guilt and fear. “In just one year, I’ve gone from makin’ him the proudest father in Montana to one who will never be able to hold up his head in this state ever again.” She secured the locket around her neck.
Without giving herself time to think about the rashness of her decision, she walked to the open window and, hefting her bag of clothes to the sill, let it drop to the ground.
“I’ll probably never see this place again,” she turned to take one last look. Then, her mind made up as to what she must do, she made her way out of the room. Luck stayed with her as she let herself out the front door. She moved to the side of the house to stash her bag back among the tall Lilac bushes, making sure it could not be seen. The hands had already left the bunkhouse, so no one stopped her as she saddled her horse then went back to the house to retrieve her belongings.
Within moments, she rode down the lane on her way to Two Spirits. Flashes of her life before he had entered it and turned it upside down shot through her mind. Days as a little girl riding in front of her father on his big horse, while he checked on a herd of cattle or horses, never failed to make her happy. How safe she had felt, with his big arms keeping her from falling off as they rode, sometimes fast and sometimes slow, depending on her mood. Even then she had chosen to be out on the range with her father rather than being with her mother and Hattie in the house. There had been so much to see, and her father had almost always agreed to take her with him. Of an instant, a memory seeped into her thoughts, turning her stomach into a hard knot. It concerned a conversation she had overheard between her parents one night about two years ago, when she had crept downstairs for some of Hattie’s sweet potato pie left over from dinner. By the sound of her father’s voice, she could tell he had been drinking, his words slurred and hard to understand. But the pain in those words had been apparent to anyone with ears to hear. He talked about a subject she had heard many times over the years, but had never understood until that night. He talked about how much he yearned to have a son. The knowledge that he could not be content with the daughter he had, had left her with a feeling of hurt mixed with anger. As the memory glared before her, she told herself perhaps her father would accept her going away better than she had thought.
Fated Memories Page 26