by Missy Jane
I sat in fascinated horror and listened as he recounted mission after mission as a human operative where he took countless lives. He was an assassin, and the last words from his mouth were of his final assignment—to take out Death herself.
I wanted to run. I wanted to grab my bag with the few belongings I had and run back to Georgetown. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, surprised that I was fighting tears. Betrayal boiled in my belly and my chest hurt. He was supposed to kill me. After a few minutes of furious pacing, I calmed down enough to think rationally. Andor obviously had no plan to kill me or he wouldn’t have let me watch the disc. He was hiding me from Sandulf, which only made me feel worse. I held onto my anger. He could’ve told me at any time over the past few days about his original intent. Instead, he chose to let me watch a disc while he stayed away. The coward.
Almost exactly three hours later, Andor returned. He held a cardboard box in each hand, which he took straight into the kitchen.
“Need help putting the stuff away?” I asked, as I kept my thoughts blocked.
Andor placed the boxes on the counter and looked at me. He concentrated on me a moment, staring straight into my eyes, and grinned.
“No, thank you. I’ll take care of it.”
I smiled. “You didn’t get through did you?”
“Nope. You kept me well blocked from your thoughts. That is excellent, Alexia. You have come a long way in a short time.”
“You could have if you wanted to though. Couldn’t you?”
He began to put the food away, keeping his back to me for a moment.
“Yes, but I would’ve had to force myself in and it wouldn’t be pleasant for either of us,” he finally replied. “Unfortunately there are others who will not be as cautious, so I’ll have to teach you how to fend off intrusion.”
“That doesn’t sound like fun. But will it hurt them as much as it hurts me to force their way in?”
“Yes. However, there are those who don’t care much about pain.”
I didn’t know what to say so I remained silent as he finished putting away the fresh supplies. I thought to ask where he went to acquire them, but shook it off as unimportant in light of the other topics concerning me. Once he was done, he turned to look at me and I let the question of his mother’s lineage fill my mind. It was hard to keep my anger hidden, but I succeeded. His brow wrinkled in thought and he shook his head.
“It’s a bit of a mystery. She would never speak of it, and if my father knew, he never told me.”
“Interesting. She never shifted in front of you?”
“No. As it was my father only showed me his other form once, and that was when my body began to show signs of shifting. He took me camping, deep into the woods near our home and shifted just one time. He was the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen, and I used to beg him to shift with me so we could fly together. But he refused and warned me against shifting after my first time. Until the war I’d only shifted a dozen or so times in my entire life.”
I let the disbelief show on my face. I was shocked he had lived so long as a shifter and remained solely in human form.
“When I was a child the population was not as numerous, especially near my home. It wasn’t as easy to blend and lose yourself in a crowd. If one of us called attention to ourselves, everyone around would know and remember. It wasn’t safe to do so.”
I nodded and walked into the kitchen.
“You had to suppress that part of yourself for centuries,” I said.
“Yes. If there is anything positive I can say about this new world we live in, it’s that I no longer have to hide my other form. But as for whether or not the sacrifices have been worth it I cannot say. For myself, if I cannot find my daughter safe and whole then no, absolutely not.”
He turned away from me again, busying himself at the sink. I didn’t know what to say or think so I kept my mind blank and my mouth shut. I knew the pain of losing a child firsthand, though my loss was bloody and I still had nightmares about it. But to have your child gone and not know where she was or if she was all right, that I didn’t know. Such helplessness was a whole other level from my experience and I didn’t know how he was dealing with it as well as he was.
I pulled a bottle of water from the refrigerator, smirking at the image of a goldfish on the label. Shifter advertising cracked me up sometimes, it was so painfully honest. I heard Andor running the water in the sink and a thought occurred to me.
“Andor, what about the utilities? Won’t someone notice the water and power is in use again?”
“By the time it becomes obvious we’ll be well on our way somewhere else,” he replied.
I let the question of where hang in the air between us. Andor thought the image of Castor Laboratories at me and I frowned.
“What? Why there?”
“Because, it appears to be the only lead we have.”
“Because of the snow leopard Tina thought she saw?”
“I have no doubt that she did see one, and there are more than likely other endangered animals within those walls.”
I remained silent, still blocking my emotions behind an imagined brick wall. Andor finished in the kitchen and I felt him behind me where I stood near the sofa. He placed his hands on my shoulders and I tried not to tense as I fought the urge to pull away.
“Do you think that’s enough to cast suspicion on Castor?”
“Alexia, dearling, do not think you can hide so easily from me.”
“Hide?”
“I know what thought torments you and I swear there is no reason for it.”
He began to knead my shoulders and I felt the sting of tears again.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered, fighting like hell to keep the tears from falling.
He pulled me back against his chest and put his arms around my waist. I felt him press his face into my hair and closed my eyes.
“I was hoping to gain your trust first, to prevent you from running away from me. Do you believe that I would never hurt you? As soon as I read your file, I knew there was more to you than what was in those pages. I had to meet you. I had to decide for myself if you should be eliminated.”
I shivered and tried to pull away. His grip tightened.
“When did you decide to let me live?”
He chuckled and let me go, taking a step back. I turned to look into his eyes as he answered.
“The moment I saw you face down a human male twice your size and heard your thoughts that he would be the first to go. Then I knew you didn’t kill shifters indiscriminately. I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. And when you tried to refuse my help, I realized you could help me. I needed a human with nothing to lose, who was strong enough to fight for the truth. You proved yourself to be that person.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I had a decision to make. I could hold Andor’s secrets against him and fight him every step of the way from here on out, or I could get over it and move on. I reinforced my mental wall as I considered what to do. I guess in his shoes I would’ve made the same decisions. That didn’t make it any easier to swallow.
***
I was running along the wall, higher than fifteen feet above the rain-slick streets of Circe. At a glance, I would say I was at least a hundred feet from the ground. There were footsteps pounding the wall behind me, but whether I was being chased or accompanied, I wasn’t sure. I felt a sense of urgency unlike anything I’d ever known in my life and I began to run even faster. Images began to whip past me in a blur, but I was too intent on my destination to fully grasp what I was seeing. At one point I saw my old house, with my husband mowing the front yard. His shirt was red with blood, but he kept on mowing.
I finally saw tower five looming before me and knew it was my destination. I heard screaming from within the tower, but I couldn’t tell if it was male or female, adult or child. I flung the door open and pounded up the steps, which seemed to grow more numerous as I raced up them. When I fi
nally reached the top, I was exhausted, so very tired all I wanted to do was lie down.
“Just a short rest,” I panted. “Just a quick nap, please.”
“No! We need you, Alexia! You have to help us, please.”
I searched to see who had spoken but there was only Lucien holding out a hand to help me. I tried to turn away from him but he was blocking the only exit other than the stairs I’d climbed.
“Move,” I yelled at him, but he laughed.
“You have to get past us first, Alexia. Then you get your prize at the end.”
I looked behind him to see what he was talking about, and there stood Jack covered in blood like I’d last seen him.
“Hey, Lexi. Did ya come to play?” he asked with a taunting laugh.
I shook my head and tried to pull out my gun, but it wasn’t there. I glanced down and saw I was in nothing but a shirt and panties, no weapon in sight.
“This’ll be fun,” Jack said.
He was holding a baby in his arms. The baby was screaming and when it twisted to get out of his grip I saw it was my son.
“No!”
I tried to run at him, but Lucien grabbed me and held me back. My attention was pulled to the floor before Jack’s feet and saw a bloody heap there. It lifted its head and began to scream. It was Emily, and she was screaming my name.
“No! Stop!”
I tried to push Lucien off of me, but he wouldn’t let go.
“No, Alexia. It’s all right. It’s over, dearling, you have to wake up now. Alexia, please wake up.”
I felt tears streaming down my face as I turned to look at Lucien, but it had grown dark and I no longer saw his face.
“Alexia, wake up. You need to wake up.”
“Andor?”
Suddenly I was awake, sitting in bed with Andor holding me by the shoulders and staring into my face.
“Yes, dearling. It’s me. You were having a nightmare, but it’s over now. It’s all right.”
Relief flooded me as I realized where I was. I began to cry harder and tried to cover my face with my hands. Andor pulled me to his chest and held me until my sobbing subsided. I sat in the cradle of his arms, absorbing his warmth as I listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
“You call me dearling. What does that mean?”
He chuckled and smoothed my hair back from my face.
“When I was a boy, my father always called my mother darling and my mother called my father dear. Thinking I was very clever, I began calling them both dearling and they took to using the term as well.” He sighed and held me tighter. “I’ve never used that endearment for anyone else. I hadn’t even realized I said it.”
I remained silent as I absorbed the implications of that statement. My tears spent, he tried to let go of me but I wouldn’t release him.
“No. Please,” I thought.
Andor said nothing else. He simply slid in beside me and held me as I slept.
Chapter Thirteen
The next morning, I woke alone. Andor was preparing breakfast and humming in the kitchen. I sat up slowly, carefully guarding my thoughts. I took a shower before joining him for breakfast where we had very civilized conversation. Neither one of us said anything about my nightmare or about sleeping together. We spent the day combing through the files on Castor Laboratories. I asked again why Castor was the prime suspect, realizing Andor had never answered my question.
“Theodore Castor used to live in the northern part of Maine, before the war and the division. He has been in the spotlight for many years as a leading voice for human cloning as well as the controversial issue of splicing animal and human genes. It was originally suspected that he was a shifter. However, Sandulf has met the man and spent time with him. Though it’s possible to hide your nature from the average shifter, no one can hide from Sandulf. He is the alpha because of his many strengths.”
I wondered if the time Castor spent with the alpha was by choice, then decided I didn’t want to know.
“I wonder why he chose to move south of the wall.” I mused.
“He wasn’t given the choice. Sandulf arranged an escort of his most trusted men to ensure Castor left FNT before the ink dried on the treaty. As soon as we learned of his plans for a laboratory in CHS we began to watch him again.”
“What actual evidence points to him specifically?”
“I have not been given that information. My alpha tells me he is the one and I act accordingly. Sandulf didn’t take into account that I would have a curious little human to convince.” I frowned at him and he laughed. “Those are very crude thoughts you are having.”
“Well, just stay out of this little human’s head if you don’t like them.”
I stood and stormed into the bathroom, his laughter following me the short distance.
My anger melted into nervousness as the day dwindled down to bedtime, and I began to feel apprehensive. I wanted Andor in bed with me plain and simple, but I had no idea how to bring it up. I wound up falling asleep on the sofa and woke as Andor was carrying me to the bed. He laid me down gently then slipped in beside me and held me close. For the first time in years, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
We spent the next two days alternating between mental exercises and going over information on the missing shifters, trying to come up with any possible connections between them. I looked over the file of the missing leopard before switching to the coyote. Both were young men in their late teens. They lived on opposite coasts and had next to nothing in common…except for one little quirk that had previously eluded me.
“Andor, how old was Emily when you last saw her?” I asked.
He looked up from the file in his hand and wrinkled his brow in thought.
“Hmm, nearly fifteen. Why?”
“Most humans reach puberty well before their fifteenth birthday. Is it different for shifters?”
“No, not to my knowledge. If anything shifters reach puberty earlier than the average human. That is when their powers…” His look became thoughtful, then worried. “She’s a half-breed, and no powers or changes manifested by puberty for her,” he whispered.
I nodded. Andor began flipping through files in a frenzy, going from one to the next to look at two recorded facts only, age and manifested powers.
“Each of these shifters’ species is known because of their parents. All of them have mixed parentage, but only Emily has a full-human parent. And the common link among all eighteen—” I began.
“Is not one of them manifested powers or shifted by the time of their disappearance,” Andor finished.
“Exactly, Andor. That’s the common thread. There must be a recessive gene among shifters which occurs every few generations or something. Emily had it, therefore she hadn’t shifted.”
“Do you know what this means?” he asked with excitement.
“We have another clue?”
“And, there may be a hell of a lot more shifters in the world than originally thought. What if this recessive gene is not obvious during a DNA screen? Hell, any human in CHS could be of shifter lineage and not even know it.”
My eyes widened in horror and I couldn’t keep the terrified thoughts from the surface of my mind. Since the death of my family, the nightmare of living in a world populated by a majority of shifters had plagued me. Andor knew my thoughts and it smothered his enthusiasm.
“I’m not saying its true, Alexia, but it’s a possibility. I find it almost amusing to be honest,” he said calmly.
“W-well. I’m glad one of us does,” I replied, rubbing the goose bumps on my arms.
He looked worried for a moment and took a step toward me, but I stepped way. I suddenly needed some space, the claustrophobic in me creeping out.
“Is it cool if I go topside for a little while? I think I’m getting cabin fever,” I said with a nervous laugh.
Andor studied my face for a moment and I knew he was rifling through my thoughts. I let my feeling of being smothered consume me, and his eyes wid
ened.
“Yes. Of course, Alexia. Take your time but please stay close to the house.”
I smiled and nodded before grabbing my gun and walking to the stairs.
I walked the perimeter of the large house, though mansion would be a more accurate term. It towered over me, blocking the feeble light of the sun struggling through darkened storm clouds. I watched the clouds rolling by and wondered what it would be like to fly. It wasn’t something I’d ever given much thought to, but spending time with a winged creature was having an affect on me. Andor hadn’t shifted in front of me again, but I still recalled the feel of his feathers beneath my fingertips. I shuddered at the memory, careful to keep it behind the steel door I put in place to block Andor’s prying mind.
I was smiling to myself as I approached the front door, oblivious to my surroundings for a moment. In a flash of insight, I realized how quiet the woods had become and I immediately stepped into a shadow near the house. There were no sounds whatsoever, no birds, no crickets, no skittering rodents in the leaves. All of which had been present for most of my walk. The hair on the back of my neck rose as I suddenly felt as if there were eyes watching me. I leveled out my breathing and tried to keep my heartbeat steady before I opened my mind.
“Andor, are you outside with me?”
I waited for the familiar warmth that filled me every time Andor entered my head. At first there was nothing then I felt him. He sent sensations into my mind of his arms around me, his chest pressing into my back. I closed my eyes and smiled, wondering if it was real.
“I’m still below. Do you need me?”
My eyes flew open and I was instantly on alert. I swept my gaze from left to right, then back again as I searched the area around me. I let Andor feel my apprehension through our open link and knew he was on his way.
“Show me where you are, Alexia, exactly where you are.”
His voice had taken a commanding tone I rarely heard from him, and I studied the area for him to see. As I looked to my left, I saw movement in the shadows at the same time I heard a rustle in the brush and I lifted my hand to my holstered gun. There was a blur of motion and my arm was yanked away from my gun as I was pulled into the open.