by Missy Jane
The only indication I had of the cavalry arriving was the wolf tensing above me, then he howled again. As I watched, an orange dart appeared in his neck, cutting off his noise and making him lose his balance. He slipped off the cage and landed in a heap on the floor, struggling to regain his feet. I heard the sound of booted feet running towards us and stood to look past the rows of cages. Emily was silent and I vaguely wondered if she’d passed out.
“Damn it, Lex! You get into more trouble.”
“Lance?”
I couldn’t believe my eyes as Lance of all people ran toward me dressed in a suit and tie while carrying his gun. I nearly burst into tears. Never had I been so happy to see him. He led a full team of men in standard CHS uniforms, but I didn’t recognize a single one of them. I stood frozen as he holstered his gun and climbed onto the cage, dropping beside me. He immediately went to Emily and began to examine her with an efficiency I’d never seen from him before. I was at a complete loss for words.
“She’s still alive. Someone better tell the eagle before he tears this place apart,” Lance said to no one in particular.
“I already have,” I replied, earning a startled look from him as he considered how.
“Uh, good. Let’s get you two out of here. She needs a medic.”
He lifted Emily into his arms, exhibiting more gentleness than I’d seen from him in all the time I’d known him. One of the other men climbed onto the cage with a blanket. Lance looked at Emily with such tenderness I almost felt like a voyeur. It shocked me as he seemed reluctant to hand her to the other man. As soon as the other soldier lifted her from the cage and wrapped her in the blanket, Lance pulled himself out and dropped onto the ground. Then he took Emily back into his arms and walked away, holding her tightly to his chest.
For an insane moment I was almost angry he didn’t seem the least bit concerned about me. But I shook the thought away and looked at the hand in my face. I realized the soldier was still on the cage offering me a hand. Normally I would’ve balked at the idea, but I was still in shock and automatically placed my hand in his. He lifted me without any help on my part and stood me on my feet on top of the cage. I wobbled a bit as my back tried to protest the movement and he grabbed my arms to steady me.
“Need help down?” he asked with a grin, and I remembered I was wearing a dress.
I frowned and brushed past him to leap off the cage, landing neatly in my sandals. Falling on my ass at this point would’ve been par for the course and I was grateful I didn’t give him the satisfaction. I heard him chuckle behind me as I looked around at the rest of the team. They were opening cages all along the aisle and pulling out bodies in various states of abuse. I couldn’t tell if any of them were alive, but there was one I was most concerned about.
“Andor?”
I reached for him, but felt absolutely nothing. I’ve never felt so alone in my life.
***
It took two hours for me to find Lance in the chaos that followed. There were CHS soldiers all over the compound and no one seemed to know who was in charge. I watched them wheel eleven bruised bodies out of the room of cages in the time it took me to reach the door. The outer hallway was covered in gore and the creature Andor fought lay in a heap against the wall. There were men in CHS uniforms photographing it and collecting samples. I shuddered as I walked away. I saw a few golden feathers on the floor, but no other sign of Andor in animal or human form.
Lance was standing in front of a seated and cuffed Theodore Castor when I finally found him in the conference room. I watched in silence as he questioned the madman who stayed stubbornly silent throughout. Lance spotted me and motioned another soldier over to take his place. I felt nervous as he headed my way.
“Well, if it isn’t the missing Alexia Williams. Girl, do you have any idea what a can of worms you opened with your disappearance?”
“Disappearance? I told Commander Wayne I was taking off.”
Lance chuckled.
“Yeah. To get married to some mystery man none of us had seen hide or hair of in all the time we’ve known you. He believed you for all of two seconds and called me in to follow you, but by the time I reached Circe you were long gone. Then your place gets bombed for no obvious reason and all hell broke loose. I called in a few favors from over the wall and, with the descriptions of Andy Olson, found out who you actually took off with. An old friend was able to trace what Andor was really up to and we checked it out over here.”
“And it led you to Castor Labs?”
“Yup. Andor wasn’t the only one to notice the missing shifters, Lex. He’s the only one with a personal stake in it because of Em…his daughter, but there were others looking into to it too.”
I considered questioning him on his obvious connection to Emily, but thought better of it. If there was anything going on, I probably didn’t want to know. Not to mention there were more pressing concerns.
“What the hell is this all about, Lance? Why were they being kept here?”
Lance took a deep breath and eyed Castor with obvious disgust and anger. He shook his head and turned back to me.
“The fountain of youth for one, Lex. The idiot wants the shifter’s secret to eternal youth. He’s convinced he can isolate the gene and manufacture it for human use. He’s insane.”
I repressed a shudder and looked around at all the people milling about. There were still a few scientists curiously watching the military comb over the place. A woman in a navy business suit stood across the room staring in our direction, a soldier on either side of her keeping her in place. At first I thought she was checking Lance out, but he took a step back and I realized her eyes were on me.
“Hey, do you know who she is?” I asked with a tilt of my chin in her direction.
Since she was staring, I decided not to even hide my attention. Lance glanced over at her and ran a hand across the back of his neck. I raised a brow at the nervous gesture.
“Uh, yeah. That’s Lillian… Lillian Olavson. She’s Andor’s ex-wife.”
“Emily’s mother?” I asked as shock settled in.
I couldn’t imagine what the wicked bitch of the north was doing in the same place her daughter had been held prisoner, appearing pristine and unbothered.
“That’s the one. She’s being held for questioning in Emily’s kidnapping and torture. I plan on seeing to it the bitch gets what’s coming to her.”
“Did she have anything to do with all this?” I waved a hand to indicate the mass chaos.
“It’s unclear at this time. But we’ve begun to go through the electronic files and she is Castor’s personal assistant.”
I felt my jaw drop and my body tense. I turned to go to her and Lance grabbed my arm.
“It’s cool, Alexia. Believe me when I say she won’t get away with this. If there’s even a scrap of paper indicating her involvement, I’ll find it.”
I shrugged out of his loose grip and he dropped his hand.
“You do that,” I said quietly.
“I will, Alexia. I swear it.”
I took a deep breath and felt my body willing me to find a place to lie down. I felt the absence of the one person I most wanted to see and turned back to Lance.
“Where is Andor? Have you seen him?”
Lance frowned and gave me a curious look.
“He left with Emily to the shifter hospital in Circe I believe. I told him she needed medical attention when he took her from me, but he didn’t say anything.”
I heard aggravation and anger in his voice and again wondered about him and Emily.
“Oh.”
“You all right, Alexia? You look pretty beat.”
I glanced at my bloody dress and realized it was torn in a few places.
“Uh, yeah.”
Lance seemed unconvinced as he looked me over head to toe.
“Commander Wayne found new quarters for you the day after the explosion. You can probably find him in the cafeteria where they’re questioning the convention s
cientists. Why don’t you go ask him where he set you up? Then you can go home and rest.”
“Yeah, sure,” I replied distractedly.
Lance appeared a little worried when I walked away from him to find Commander Wayne. I knew the old Alexia would’ve told him off for even suggesting rest when there was work to be done. But I had changed in the past couple of weeks and I no longer felt like the woman the shifters called Death. I was suddenly tired down to my soul and I wanted to curl up somewhere and cry my eyes out. Lance may have thought I was acting strange but he didn’t know the half of it. I felt strange too and I no longer knew myself. I thought Andor might know me but he was gone and I had no way to find him.
Chapter Nineteen
The next two weeks were a blur of emotional upheaval. Andor remained silent in my head and all attempts to contact him fell on deaf ears. Commander Wayne put me in a building with other soldiers and I felt claustrophobic in my small apartment. I had absolutely nothing to call my own but my gun. The clothes Andor bought me went into the trash as bloody rags as soon as I returned to the hotel where Andor and I had left our things. I showered, changed and went to the front desk, knowing it was pointless but asking about messages anyway. There was nothing. Andor’s bag of clothes still sat in the room and I took it with me to my new apartment. It stayed in my closet untouched for weeks.
I fell back into my old routine of work, sleep, eat, work, sleep, eat. I became even more antisocial than before as depression settled over me. Lance tried to talk to me but I couldn’t bring myself to respond. I vaguely noticed he was soon the only one who even tried. Lucien still patrolled with us and he tried to talk to me one day. I decked him the moment he stepped close enough and he landed on his ass. I walked away without a word and haven’t encountered him since.
***
I was lying in my bed trying to fall asleep after a fourteen-hour shift on the wall. The day had been hotter than any in recorded history for our area and I felt grumpy and restless. The air-conditioning unit in my apartment kept going out in random increments leaving me sweaty for a few minutes then chilled once it kicked back on in full force. I felt like crying again. That kept happening and I was worried about my sudden mood swings. I hadn’t had morning sickness and there were no other telltale signs, but Andor and I hadn’t been thinking of protection back in the Pleasure Caves or in the hotel room when we thought death might be approaching. Now I might have to face the consequences alone.
I heard the air conditioner die and gave a frustrated sigh before rolling out of bed. I went to the window and slid it open, then stood there to admire the moonlit view below. My apartment was on the top floor of the fifteen-story building. I almost saw over the wall into Circe and the lands beyond. It was a beautiful sight in the darkness, almost peaceful. A slight breeze whispered over my damp skin, creating goose bumps along the way. I felt warmth on my cheeks and realized I was crying again. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, leaning my head against the window sill.
“Sweetness, why are you crying?”
I jumped and my eyes flew open, staring out the window in every direction trying to find the sight I’d been starved for.
“Andor?” I whispered, half-convinced it had been my imagination rather than his voice in my head.
“Alexia,” he whispered from behind me and I froze as I felt his breath on my neck.
My heart was racing and I closed my eyes as more tears spilled down my face. I felt his chest press into my back and his hands on my hips as he pulled me to him. I stiffened.
“What are you doing here?” I asked with a shaky voice.
I never hoped to hide my emotions from him while they were in such turmoil. I was elated to feel him against me and furious at his assumption. Two full weeks had passed without a word and he thought I would let him waltz back into my life where he left off as if nothing had changed? I simply couldn’t do it, especially if what I feared was going on in my body proved to be true. His hands left my hips and I felt a second of loss before they met on my abdomen and pressed down slightly. I immediately spun on my heel and shoved him away with all of my strength, his surprise evident as he stumbled away from me.
“Alexia—”
“What. Do. You. Want?” I asked through gritted teeth as all of my feelings coalesced into outrage.
“You,” he answered, and the simple admission dropped me to my knees.
I was sobbing like a baby when he pulled me into his arms and ran his fingers through my hair. He was pressing kisses over whatever bare skin he could find and I lacked the strength to stop him.
“Alexia, my love, please. Forgive me. Please, forgive me.”
I thought I heard tears in his voice but I couldn’t find the strength to care or even look to see for myself.
“Sandulf found us, Alexia. I was nursing Emily back to health when he found us and detained us until all of his questions were answered. I had to keep you out or he would’ve sensed your presence in my mind. I swear I did it to protect you.”
I hiccupped as I thought over his explanation, but quickly realized something.
“You started blocking me while we were still in the lab. That was before you even left for Circe.”
I refused to look at him, though he tried to tip my chin up with one of his elegant fingers. I turned away and tried to get out of his lap. He held on and we wound up with my back to his chest, both panting from the struggle.
“That is the truth and I have no explanation. I barely recall my mind then. I was panicked, thinking I would lose my daughter, though I knew you were safe. I felt Sandulf on the wind even then and I fled as soon as I had Emily in my arms. I knew you were safe, Alexia. I saw Lance head back to find you and I knew he would protect you.”
“I wanted you,” I thought, no longer trying to keep him out.
I stopped fighting him and lay limply in his arms, feeling emotionally wrung out. Andor held me tighter and pressed his face into my hair.
“I will do whatever it takes to regain your trust, love. Please give me another chance.”
I closed my eyes and seriously thought about my options. I could kick him out and tell him to go to hell and return to my depressing existence of living for the job. I didn’t even feel it anymore. The job no longer fulfilled me. My other option was what? To be with Andor in shifter lands? I didn’t even know where he lived.
“Anywhere you want to be, Alexia. I have homes in three different cities including Circe. We can live anywhere you want in FNT or even another continent. The choice is yours.”
If the thought of leaving CHS was frightening, leaving the continent was down right terrifying. I knew that wasn’t going to happen.
“Whatever you wish.”
“Where’s Emily?” I asked out loud to avoid the intimacy of him in my head.
“She is recovering in the north. Sandulf put her in his stronghold after he questioned us. He is convinced she may still be vulnerable.”
“Castor is dead,” I replied.
The old man hung himself with his bed sheets shortly after being imprisoned. There were only a handful of mourners at his much-publicized funeral.
“There are others who think as he did. And even among the animals Emily may be hunted for her fertility. As I said before, we are a dying species on the verge of extinction.”
I started to squirm and this time he let me go. I stood and walked back to the window, once again looking toward Circe. I heard him move behind me and felt his presence at my back, but he kept his hands to himself.
“And if I’m…pregnant?”
I heard his breath shudder and felt it on my neck.
“Then nothing on this earth will keep me away from you, Alexia. Not even your fragile emotions. I’ll admit that while I cared for Emily, I considered staying away. There are many obstacles we must face and I wasn’t certain of your feelings for me. But I am positive of mine for you. I want you, and only you for the rest of my days. Whether you carry my child or not…I love you.”
I heard the emotion in his voice and felt it in my head as he broadcast everything into my mind. He wanted me unconditionally and without reservation, and he was willing to do anything to make it happen. Now it was up to me. Did I want to go with him into shifter lands for good? Was he worth giving up everything I’d fought for in the past few years? Had I changed that much in the matter of weeks to even consider it?
I closed my eyes and searched my heart for the answers. I thought of Hank and our beautiful baby boy, both moved on to wherever we go once this life is over. He would’ve wanted me to live on in whatever way made me happy. I knew it heart and soul because he’d loved me that much. My chest hurt to think of them but I knew this wasn’t a betrayal because Andor wasn’t the animal he thought himself to be. Hank would’ve liked Andor. He would’ve respected him and might have considered him a good replacement.
I took a deep breath and thought about my life as it was and realized I had no life. The work I lived for no longer fulfilled me as it used to and I no longer lived for the kill. I didn’t even carry my sword anymore and my gun hadn’t been used in weeks. I was a changed woman and it was because of the shifter—No, the man behind me. The one who wanted me just as I am, flaws and all.
I felt his hands on my shoulders and my heartbeat sped up. The thrill of his touch filled me as he turned me around to face him. Without a word he raised my chin with a finger and lowered his lips to mine, taking my mouth in a savage kiss that told me he had missed me as much as I missed him. Our movements became hurried as we stripped clothes off each other and stumbled onto the bed. Andor loomed over me for a moment before kissing a path down my body. I felt like crying again, but this time out of the sheer joy of having him in my arms. I plunged my hands into his hair as he froze over my stomach.
“Andor?” I whispered as I felt his tongue lave a warm, wet trail around my belly button.