They got back to their home in Vermont at six o’clock, after stopping for gas and a sandwich along the way. They had agreed to a meeting with Shirley, their surrogate, that night, before Richard’s friend Alana’s eggs were harvested the next day. Both Justin and Richard planned to be there for that, but they wanted one last meeting with Shirley before she signed their agreement at the attorney’s office the next morning.
They unpacked their bags from New York, Richard made them some soup and a salad, and they were just putting the dishes in the dishwasher when Shirley and her husband arrived. They had left their two kids with her mother. Her parents were aware of the project. Shirley had done it before, and she had told them that offering herself as a surrogate served a dual purpose, it made someone else truly happy, and it gave them money they needed for their own kids. Her husband had no problem with it. He was a carpenter, and she worked at a local supermarket and would keep her job unless she had a problem with the pregnancy. But she was young and healthy, and there was no reason why she would. Her three previous pregnancies had gone smoothly, and she had delivered all three babies naturally in record time.
As he had been each time they met him, Shirley’s husband, Jack, was taciturn when he walked in. But he had never objected to what she was doing, and he liked the two men. The two fertilized ova were going to be implanted in her uterus later that week at her most receptive time. Her own ovulation cycle had had to be halted chemically as they wouldn’t be fertilizing her eggs, so she was making no genetic contribution to the pregnancy. She was merely an incubator for the fetus for nine months, and biologically not its mother. Everything was clear.
“Would you like coffee or tea?” Richard offered when they sat down. “Or a last glass of wine?” He smiled at Shirley. From the time Alana’s eggs were inside her, she had agreed not to drink any form of alcohol, use drugs except those prescribed medically, or smoke cigarettes or marijuana. She had no problem consenting to that. They looked like healthy, responsible people. Shirley wasn’t attractive, but she seemed wholesome and intelligent. She and Jack had come up with the idea of surrogacy three years before, after the birth of their second child, when they realized they couldn’t make ends meet. She had had such easy pregnancies that they agreed, as long as she didn’t have sex with the baby’s father, which the doctors had assured them was not necessary. She could have had in utero fertilization, but after considerable research, Justin and Richard had opted for in vitro fertilization, where the eggs would be fertilized outside of her womb and then implanted in her uterus. It was more complicated and more expensive but a surer process, so they chose IVF.
Shirley was looking forward to being pregnant again, and said she felt great when she was. And nine months didn’t seem long to her, though it felt like an eternity to Justin and Richard to wait to have their baby in their arms.
They both accepted coffee and chatted for a while. She had agreed to meet with both men every two weeks and give them full reports on her medical visits and sonograms, and details on the baby’s progress. And they had chosen the obstetrician they wanted her to see, supposedly the best one in town. Shirley’s fee was to be paid half at the outset and half after the delivery, with a check for her expenses sent to her once a month. She would be getting the first check the next day when she signed the agreement. No money changed hands that night. It was just a friendly meeting to confirm that everything was a go on both sides, and that no one was having second thoughts or regrets. They left after an hour, and Justin and Richard had a glass of wine when they did.
“It’s hard to believe it’s all starting tomorrow, finally, isn’t it?” Justin said, as they sat in their small, cozy living room by the fire. They had one bedroom and a small study Justin used to write. They were going to give up the study to the baby, and Justin said he’d write in the kitchen after that. It was the best they could do, since they couldn’t afford to move to a bigger house. They were willing to make all the sacrifices they had to for their child.
They went to bed after that, and were both too nervous and excited to be amorous. Justin was up at six, and Richard shortly after. They were meeting Alana at the hospital at eight, and she arrived right on time. Alana and Richard had known each other since his childhood, and they had remained good friends once they grew up. She was a nurse herself, so she was familiar with the process, and she liked Justin too. She was a bright, vivacious, pretty woman, and both men were grateful for what she was doing for them. She had a boyfriend and he knew about the plan. She had volunteered her eggs when she heard what they wanted to do, and she was relinquishing all rights to the baby. She was thirty-six, like Richard, but all her hormone tests had shown her to be still fertile and her eggs healthy, and Richard loved her like a sister. They were both happy to have her be the biological mother of their child, or twins, if both eggs survived.
She didn’t want them in the room with her when her eggs were harvested, and it was supposedly a painful process. But she came through it bravely. The doctor came out to talk to them an hour later, and told them that everything was fine, as Justin and Richard waited nervously in an area for family and visitors. They had both provided the necessary sperm when they arrived. Everything had gone according to plan. And the threesome left the hospital two hours after they’d arrived. Alana was slightly woozy from the pain pills they’d given her after the harvesting, and they took her home and promised to check on her later. And then Justin dropped Richard off at the school where he worked, and went home to his computer to write. All he could do was stare at it for a while and think about what was happening. Somewhere in a laboratory, his and Richard’s sperm were meeting Alana’s eggs, and nine months from now their baby would be born. It made Justin cry as he thought about it, from the sheer enormity of the moment. He had never wanted anything so much in his life.
—
When Zach came back from Palm Beach the Monday after Thanksgiving, he couldn’t wait to see Izzie. She rushed home from the office at six o’clock, and they were in bed five minutes later. They were still breathless afterward, when he looked at her and smiled.
“I missed you so damn much. My poor grandmother sleeps all the time now, but it was nice for her to have me there. No one else ever goes to visit her anymore.” She was eighty-nine, frail, and in failing health. And Izzie thought it was nice that he’d gone, although she had missed him too. “So how was your family when you told them about me?” he asked with interest. She had told him that she had admitted to them that she was seeing someone, but her brother hiring a surrogate to have a baby had preempted all other subjects immediately after.
“They were fine,” she said quietly. “Curious. Intrigued.” She didn’t want to tell him too bluntly that they wouldn’t have understood why he didn’t work, even if he’d had money. And they would have understood it even less since he didn’t. She was having a problem with it herself. “Mostly, they were upset about my brother Justin wanting to have a baby with a surrogate. I think it’s pretty crazy too, given all the legal risks.”
“He’s the gay one?” he asked casually, and she nodded. “So when am I going to meet them?” She had been thinking about taking him to dinner with them on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, since they celebrated both, but she still wasn’t sure. He could see her hesitate and looked hurt. “Are you ashamed of me, Izzie?”
“Of course not.” She was instantly embarrassed. “But they’re very square and normal, and you’re pretty racy for them,” especially if they knew the truth, that he had been recently convicted for dealing drugs, and that was how she’d met him. “I don’t want them to interrogate you or give you a hard time.”
“I’m a big boy, I can take it,” he said calmly. “And they can’t be too square or normal if you have a gay brother who’s having a baby with a surrogate. That’s a little ‘racy’ too.”
“Not really. It’s just legally stupid. At least I think so. My mother’s not happy about it because they won’t get married. Maybe she’s worried about
their relationship being solid, and the financial burden it will put on them. But no one wanted to listen to either of us. And my sister and grandmother thought it was great. They’ll do what they want anyway.”
“They have to make their own mistakes,” Zach said philosophically.
“My mother doesn’t see it that way. She worries about all of us. And in this case, I agree. I don’t see why they need to have a baby, and surrogacy can be a mess. But my brother seems very determined. We’re all pretty stubborn.” She smiled at Zach. “I was thinking about taking you home for Christmas, if you really want to. If not, it can wait.” But their holiday get-togethers were the only time that everyone was there. And her relationship had gotten so serious so quickly with Zach that she felt as though she should introduce him to her family before much longer.
“I’d like that,” he said, looking pleased, and he kissed her. “Thank you.”
“You’ll have to play it pretty straight,” she warned him. “I don’t think the sexy biker look will go over well with them on Christmas.”
“I think I can manage a coat and tie for your family,” he said. He had done it for their second court appearance, although she hadn’t seen that look since. But at least she knew he was capable of it, and it would matter to them. What was going to matter to them even more was the fact that he was unemployed. It would please her family if he got a job, would make them like him better, and it would certainly help her with expenses. But she had no idea if she could talk him into it, or convince him that it would be good for him too. She had a month to try, but when she got up for work the next morning, and he lay happily sprawled across her bed like a sleeping giant, with no sign of waking and nothing to get up for, she realized again how different his life was. And as she left a hundred dollars in the kitchen drawer for him, she wondered how long this could last, unless he decided to get serious and grow up. There was no sign of it yet. And she knew she was enabling him by giving him money, but she didn’t know what else to do.
—
On Friday afternoon, as Justin was struggling with an article about chemical risks to the environment, which bored him, but he needed the money, the fertility doctor called him. Justin’s heart skipped a beat when he answered, and he wondered if there was a problem. Maybe all Alana’s eggs had died, or their sperm hadn’t fertilized them.
“Is something wrong?” Justin asked, holding his breath for an instant.
“Not at all,” the doctor said warmly to reassure him. “I just wanted to let you know that we put two fertilized eggs in Shirley’s uterus today. We had five good ones, but we had agreed on two.” Justin and Richard had said that they wanted a single child, and could handle twins if they had to. They couldn’t imagine triplets, and didn’t want to risk it. So the doctor had used two of the fertilized eggs, but no more. And if it didn’t work this time, Alana was willing to do it again, as was Shirley. “Everything went smoothly. She’s fine. We told her to stay in bed today, but she can be up tomorrow. And we’ll check her hormone levels in about ten days to see where things stand. It’s looking good.” Justin could hardly contain himself until Richard got home, and gave him the news as soon as he walked through the door. They were jubilant at the prospect, and had dinner with Alana that night. She was fine after having her eggs harvested four days before, and proud that two fertilized eggs had been implanted.
“I almost hope you have twins,” she said to them over wine at dinner, and they groaned, although Justin wouldn’t have minded having twins if they could afford it. He loved having a twin sister, and they had had a ball growing up. He was closer to her than to anyone else on the planet except Richard. She had called him several times that week to see what was happening and if they’d done it yet. He hadn’t heard a word from his mother, which Justin knew meant she was still upset but not saying anything.
The next call they got from the doctor was the following week, to tell them that Shirley’s hCG levels were high in her blood test, which meant that at least one of the fertilized eggs had taken. Technically, she was pregnant, but they needed to keep checking now to see if her hormone levels continued to rise, or dropped if she lost it. If they rose higher than normal, it would mean that both embryos had implanted. All they could do was check her hormone levels now. And in a few weeks they could do a sonogram to make sure that one or both of the embryos were still there. But for the moment at least, Shirley was pregnant.
Justin let out a scream when he hung up the phone, and Richard came running to see what had happened.
“She’s pregnant! It worked! They have to keep checking to make sure it holds, and they don’t know how many there are yet. But she’s pregnant!” The two men danced around the room like children, and Richard opened a bottle of champagne he’d been saving, although it was still early days, and a little premature to be celebrating, but at least the first phase of the process had worked. They called Shirley after that, giddy from the excitement more than the champagne, and she sounded fine. She said it had all been easy so far and she felt good. She had just come home from work at the supermarket, and they could hear her kids in the background. They hoped that would be them one day.
Five days later, Shirley’s hormone levels were still high, though not excessively so, and the doctor guessed that she was carrying one implanted embryo, not two, but she was definitely pregnant. There was nothing more to do now except continued blood tests and a sonogram in two weeks. The boys were beside themselves at the news. Shirley sounded almost nonchalant about it, she had expected it to go well. Her pregnancies always had. She didn’t feel pregnant yet, but she was in good health, and it would take a few weeks for her body to catch up with the elevated hormone levels, and give her the early signs of pregnancy. She had a doctor’s appointment in three weeks, and agreed to let them come to the sonogram with her. She smiled when she heard how excited they were. It reassured her that she had done the right thing.
For the next few weeks it was all Justin and Richard could talk about, although they hadn’t told anyone yet. They wanted to wait until the first sonogram before they did, just to be sure that everything was fine. But so far so good. They had a baby on the way. Its due date was August 25, which still seemed like a lifetime away. Justin wanted desperately to call his mother and tell her, but given how upset she had been on Thanksgiving, he didn’t dare. It made him sad not to be able to share it with her. He didn’t even call Julie. They had decided to wait, until Christmas at least. He felt like a kid waiting for Santa Claus, as he counted the days till Christmas to tell his family. The details about the baby’s sex would come later. For now, all they knew was that their surrogate was pregnant, and no matter how artificially it had been conceived or who gave birth to it, it was their baby, and it seemed like a miracle to them.
Chapter 6
Justin and Richard went to the sonogram with Shirley on December 23, which was the earliest possible date the obstetrician would give them, and they saw the fetus clearly on the screen, in the right place, the right size. There was only one fetus. The other egg had fallen away and disappeared, so it would be a single birth. The technician measured the size and gave them the computerized due date. And both men burst into tears when they saw it on the screen, and the technician handed them a printout of the baby’s image on the sonogram. It was too soon to see the heartbeat, but the fetus looked fine, and Shirley said she was feeling pregnant by then. The two men left the room for the internal exam, and the doctor said everything was great when they came back in. Their baby was due on August twenty-fifth. Richard was going to request paternity leave for the first month of school, and Justin could hardly imagine getting through the next eight months. They had so much to look forward to.
They drove to New York that afternoon, to stay with the same friends they always did, and Justin dropped by to see his mother at the store the next day, but she was out doing last-minute shopping. He had wanted to tell her the news alone, but since she was out, it would have to wait until their family dinner t
hat night. They had dinner together on Christmas Eve, and those who wanted to went to mass. Justin and Richard were planning to go this year, to give thanks for the miracle happening to them. And they always got together informally for lunch the next day, on Christmas Day.
Izzie had invited Zach to lunch on Christmas Day, because Christmas Eve was more intimate and even more of a family event, and she thought his introduction to the family might go better the next day, although she wasn’t sure.
Justin could hardly wait for dinner that night, and he and Richard arrived looking handsome and well dressed in suits, right after both his sisters showed up in black cocktail dresses. Julie’s was one of her own designs. And their mother was wearing a black velvet hostess gown with golden sable on the cuffs that was vintage Givenchy, and made her look like a queen with her long blond hair in a simple French twist. She was very stylish as always, and the dress looked brand-new. Grandma Lou was wearing a red velvet pantsuit that she wore for Christmas every year. Willie was the last one to arrive, in a black suit and black shirt with a black tie his mother had given him. He looked very handsome and young and trendy. Everyone was in good spirits as they kissed each other, and dinner smelled delicious. It was turkey with a new recipe for stuffing Kate had found in a magazine. It was the same dinner as Thanksgiving, with yule logs for dessert, and Christmas pudding, just like when they’d been children.
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