by Kate Stacy
David is no longer a threat. She could stay anywhere else, but she chooses to stay here with me. And I choose to believe it means something. It has to.
Mads just needs more time to come to grips with her new reality. No matter how badly I want her to be mine again—I won’t push. I told her I’d wait, and I meant it. I can be extremely patient, especially when the reward for my patience is Madalyn.
With her body fully relaxed, I press a kiss to her temple and close my eyes.
I’m almost asleep when Madalyn shifts. Her body stiffens for a split second before she relaxes against me again. In her raspy, sleepy voice she asks, “I had another nightmare?”
Resting my chin on her shoulder, I answer, “Yeah, baby.”
If there’s anything positive to be said about her nightmares, it’s that she barely remembers them anymore. Most of the time she doesn’t even realize she has them. Thank God for small blessings.
“Remember anything?”
“No,” she whispers. “But I feel...unclean, like there’s a layer of filth covering me.”
She shifts uncomfortably and I can only imagine what kind of dream would leave her feeling that way. It’s not really something I want to think about, to tell you the truth. Not when I know all the fucked-up details of the vile things that evil fuck did to her.
Madalyn rolls over to face me. Cheek to chest, we lie there for a long time, both awake, neither wanting to talk about the reasons for her nightmares. The room is silent, nothing but the sound of the breaths between us.
Her breathing slows and starts to even out. I think she’s asleep until I hear the rustle of fabric and her soft whisper.
“Jaxson…”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Will you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“Will you take it all away? I...I can feel his hands on me. All over my skin. I can’t stand it, Jax. I need you to take it away. I know you can take it away.”
I silently war with my conscience.
I want to do what she’s asking of me. Fuck. I’d love nothing more than to slip inside her tight little body, caress her soft curves, and decimate any traces of him, but I’m not sure I should.
Is it too soon? Is this really what she wants? Or are her emotions ruling her decisions? Making her ask for something she’ll regret? I never want to take advantage of Madalyn. I never want her to hold regret because of something we did. She holds enough regret where I’m concerned.
I loosen my hold on her, but only so I can see her eyes. It doesn’t matter what comes out of her mouth, her eyes never lie. Searching their depths for any signs of uncertainty, I see nothing but want and need.
“Are you sure?” I rasp, needing to be one-hundred percent certain this is what she wants.
Moving her hand over mine, she slides them down her body. Down the smooth skin of her belly, across the puckered flesh of her scar, all the way to the waistband of the tiny as fuck boy shorts she’s wearing.
“Jaxson, please,” she breathes. “I need you.”
And fuck me if I’m not going to give her what she needs.
I trail kisses down her neck, over her collar bone, and across her shoulder. All while I slowly slip my fingers into her panties.
“Open for me baby.”
Her thighs part, giving me access. Sliding a fingertip through the seam of her center, I’m surprised to find her pussy wet with desire.
“Already so damn wet for me,” I murmur, voice thick with want.
Madalyn wants me to touch her? Make her forget? With pleasure.
I’d love nothing more than to spend hours loving her, erasing every single trace of him from her body and mind. And I will. But not when I’m barely holding onto my restraint. Not when I’ve got Madalyn’s hot little body in my hands for the first time in years. Especially not with the sexy little moans passing through her lips as I circle her clit with my fingertip.
Soon. Soon I’ll make her forget she’s ever been anybody’s but mine.
But tonight, I’m gonna help her relax. I’m gonna free her mind of anything but the pleasure she gets from my touch.
Using the arm still wrapped around her, I slowly drag her shirt up her torso. Every inch covers more of her soft skin. Breasts fully bared, I gently caress the underside of the right, using my thumb to circle the rosy pink nipple in a slow, lazy pace.
Within minutes, Madalyn’s body is writhing against me. Hips rocking. Body instinctively seeking the source of pleasure. Wanting more than a soft, gentle touch.
Her soft whimpers and quiet moans are maddening. My dick has been hard as stone since she asked me to touch her and I have no plans on giving myself relief tonight.
Tonight isn’t for me, it’s for her. Her relaxation and comfort. Her pleasure. As easy as it would be to free my cock from the confines of my boxer briefs and slip inside her—it won’t be happening tonight.
Ignoring the ache in my throbbing cock, I slide my hand further into her panties and sink a single digit into her tight, wet pussy. The gasp that leaves her perfect lips makes my dick twitch.
Madalyn grinds her pussy against my hand, whimpering when the heel of my palm presses against her aching clit.
“That’s it, baby. Ride my hand. Take what you need,” I rasp into her ear.
Moving my hand from her plump breast, I glide my fingertips down her side leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. Gripping her hip, I pull her back against me, nestling my cock between the cheeks of her ass.
I want her to feel how hard she makes me. How much I want her.
She hasn’t said it, but she’s self-conscious about her scars. I can tell from the way she avoids mirrors, and the way she hides them behind makeup and baggy clothes. She doesn’t need to be. Scars or no scars, she’s gorgeous. As long as I breathe, there will never be a day where I don’t want her.
“Feel that? Do you feel how fucking hard you make me?” I groan at the sensation of fabric rubbing against my cock. “You’re so fucking sexy, Mads. I could come just like this.”
“God, Jax,” she moans.
Madalyn did always love when I talked dirty to her. I’m fucking thrilled to know that hasn’t changed. I wasn’t kidding, either. If she doesn’t come soon, I’m gonna blow without ever taking my clothes off.
I slip a second finger into her and curl them upwards, but keep my slow, maddening pace. Every stroke, every shift of her hips has my fingertips raking across her G-spot. I remember this body. I spent a lot of time learning exactly how to touch and tease her in all the best ways. It’s not something forgotten over the years.
I feel her pussy flutter around my fingers, her walls beginning to clench as she nears her climax.
Sucking her earlobe between my teeth, I gently bite down, giving it a little tug. Her pussy clenches tighter, gets wetter. Yeah, she likes that.
“I can feel you, baby. You’re so goddamn close. You gonna come for me?”
“Jaxson,” she gasps.
I press the heel of my palm more firmly against her clit. Her breaths get shallow, her moans get louder, and I know she’s teetering on the edge.
Moving my hand from her hip to her jaw, I turn her head towards mine.
My eyes lock with hers, and I watch as her body finally gives in, her release washing over her in waves. Madalyn’s eyes roll back and I slam my mouth to hers, swallowing her moans as her thighs snap together while she rides out her pleasure on my hand.
I kiss her hungrily until we’re both panting, struggling for air. When I’ve wrung out the last drop of pleasure from her body, I slide my hand from her panties and bring it to my mouth, slipping my fingers between my lips. Madalyn watches with rapt attention as I lick every drop of her release from my fingers.
A deep groan rumbles from my chest. She tastes better than I fucking remember.
I don’t give her a chance to try to reciprocate.
I tuck her back into me, holding her until her eyes drift closed. She fights against sleep, but only
for a minute until I pull her body even closer to mine.
“Sleep, baby. You’re safe with me tonight.”
My lips move to her head and I press a kiss to her temple, smiling when I hear a satisfied little hum pass her lips.
“I love you, Madalyn,” I whisper as she succumbs to sleep. I know she hears me, because she smiles.
It doesn’t take long for me to join her in slumber, drifting off as I wonder if I’ll ever hear her utter those three little words to me again.
I wake early, Mads still tucked safely in my arms. Exactly where she should be, where she was always meant to be.
Before I can slip out of bed, she rolls over to face me.
I let my eyes roam over her, taking in all the little details. Her hair is mussed from sleep. Her shirt is stretched, wrinkled, and hanging loose on one shoulder. She has indents and pink lines down one cheek from the creases in her pillow. She’s never looked more fucking beautiful.
That is...until she opens her eyes.
There’s a clarity in her eyes that causes a lump in my throat, forcing me to swallow. Her big, mossy green eyes are bright, and shimmering with happiness.
“So, goddamn gorgeous,” I murmur, brushing my thumb across her jaw.
She smiles, but her smile seems to hold a secret. One I hope she’s willing to share.
“You look happy this morning,” I note.
“I am happy, Jax.”
She shifts, propping herself up on one arm, chin resting in her palm. Her shirt slips further down her shoulder, and I can’t resist running a finger across her collar bone.
“I’m happy because of you,” she says.
“That’s all I want, baby—to make you happy. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“I’m scared, Jax,” she says quietly.
I open my mouth to reply, but a subtle shake of her head stops me.
“It’s more worry than fear, really. I worry I can’t be what you need.” Her brow furrows, so I use my thumb to smooth the creases. “David left emotional wounds that I’m not sure will ever truly heal. I can’t have babies—”
Her voice breaks and I fucking hate it.
“We always talked about having a family, Jax. And I can’t give you that.”
She’s trying so hard to stay strong, but the smile she gives me is sad, and her lashes are lined with tears.
These are the battles I can’t fight for her. The hurdles she has to jump over by herself. The only thing I can do is stay by her side, cheering her on from the sidelines.
“I know you love me... but I’m not the same girl I used to be. I’ll never be that girl again. Not with what I’ve been through. But life’s too damn short, Jax. If anyone knows that for certain—it’s me.”
My eyes flit back and forth between hers, searching for the words she’s not saying.
“What’s this mean, Madalyn?”
“It means that I want to be with you.” A smile breaks out across my face, but she keeps talking. “We’ve lost so much time already. I don’t want to waste any more of it worrying about things I can’t change. I refuse to let the past control my future.”
I don’t question her. I don’t ask if she’s sure.
I lean in and pull her face to mine.
This kiss is different. The softness of her lips, the warmth of her tongue, her taste...it’s like coming home.
We kiss for what feels like a lifetime, but it’ll never be enough. I pull back, but only a bit, my lips only millimeters from hers.
“Don’t you know you’re all I’ve ever wanted, Madalyn? It’s always been you. Everything else...we can figure those things out together. The only thing that matters to me is being with you.”
I look down at my girl, my magnificent beauty.
“So it’s me and you?” she asks.
“Hell yeah, baby. Me and you. Always.”
(One month later)
After surviving David’s abuse for two years, almost dying by his hand, and mourning the loss of my two precious angels—I didn’t think I’d ever find a way to be happy again.
I should have known better.
I’m in love with a man that would do absolutely anything to ensure my happiness. He loves me unconditionally. I love him the same. He makes it so easy to be happy.
People who don’t know us—who don’t know our story—might see us as the quintessential happy couple. If they only knew the hell Jaxson and I have been through. But we made it. We’re better because of it.
It helps that the dust has settled, and the town gossip has all but stopped. People no longer look at me with pity in their eyes. They stopped asking questions and making assumptions. It won’t last long, though. Jaxson and I are about to stir up all sorts of trouble.
I woke up this morning happy, in love, and engaged.
That’s right, I’m engaged to Jaxson Blackwood and I don’t give a rat’s ass if anyone has anything to say about it. People are going to talk. They’re going to judge, say it’s too soon, but I’ll ignore every stare and every whisper. It’s our life and we’re spending every moment living it to the fullest.
There was no grand gesture. No cheesy, stereotypical ask. No romantic, over-the-top proposal. Only a simple conversation between two people in love. A conversation that ended with Jaxson slipping a beautiful ring on my finger. The very same ring he’s held onto since the first time he wanted to ask me to be his wife. That’s what made it perfect.
His simple gesture only confirmed what I already knew—he’s the only man for me. He knows me, and always knows exactly what I need.
We’re not having a long engagement. Jaxson would marry me today if I would agree. In fact, he tried to convince me to do just that, but I have a couple things I need to do before I take his last name. Things that are part of my healing process and only for me.
So today, I’ll take a couple more steps forward.
Tomorrow, I’ll make the leap.
I’ll marry the man that was always meant to be my forever.
My first task of the day is a little self-care.
I’ve been feeling better for a while now. The last couple of months have been an uphill battle, but in that time, I’ve changed, healed, and grown. I feel like a new person and I think it’s time I look like the new me, too. Some time at the salon is the perfect remedy.
I walk into the salon and Camille jumps at the chance to give me a fresh look.
Two hours later, I walk out feeling like a brand-new woman.
Sometimes all a girl needs is her hair done and a mani-pedi.
I head to my next destination on autopilot.
I called ahead and scheduled an appointment because I wanted to be absolutely certain I could get in today. It’s almost time.
I park and get out, absently thinking about getting a new car soon as I walk up to the door.
One slow, deep breath later and I’m inside, shaking hands with the man I’m here to see. He’s tall, dark, and extremely good looking. His muscular arms are covered in ink, so are his neck and throat, making it easy to assume that ink extends down under the fabric of his shirt. I’d be willing to bet he’s covered there too.
He would be intimidating if not for his eyes. He has tiny creases at the corners, which tells me he smiles and laughs frequently. His eyes are soft and show nothing but kindness.
“Hey, you must be Madalyn,” he says with a dazzling smile. “I’m Adam. We talked earlier.”
“That’s me. Thanks for getting me in so quickly.”
He chuckles, “No problem. You’re actually helping me out. I don’t normally ink here, so I don’t have any clients and my schedule is wide open.”
He leads me into a room where he’s got everything set up. I get comfortable in the chair and we banter while he gets ready. I let him know exactly what I wanted when I called earlier, down to the font I want to use, so he’s already got the stencil ready in a few different sizes.
I learn that he’s here from Florida, watching the shop as a favor for
a friend, but not much more. He’s super nice and really friendly, but it’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk about personal shit. Totally fine by me. I get it, more than he knows.
“You said you wanted this on your side, right?”
“Kinda, yeah. Right here at the top of my ribs, towards my side.” I motion with my hand, showing him exactly where I want it.
“Got it,” he nods. “Gonna need you to take your shirt off, then we’ll get this stencil on.”
“Bra too?” I ask, pulling my shirt over my head.
Chuckling, he replies, “Not unless you want to. I damn sure wouldn’t complain, but I’m pretty sure your man might have a problem with it."
“You’re right about that.”
Standing in front of a stranger without a shirt on is only a little awkward.
He preps the area for the transfer and double checks the placement before pressing it onto my skin. Once he peels back the paper, he has me look in a mirror to make sure it looks like I want it to before he starts.
I smile when I see the words across my skin. Now it’s time to make them permanent.
“It’s perfect.”
“It’ll look good there, you picked a great spot.”
I can see his eyes on me through the reflection. The furrow in his brow tells me exactly what he’s looking at and unlike most men, it’s not my tits. He wants to ask, but he won’t. I can already tell that about him.
“Hop up here, lay flat on your back and we’ll get started.”
As I get into position, he picks up his machine and gets it ready to go. Rolling closer to me on his stool, he turns on a lamp and adjusts it to give him the best light.
“This is your first tattoo?”
I nod, nibbling on my bottom lip. I’ll admit I’m a little nervous, but this is something I really want. I could have brought one of my sisters with me, but it’s something I felt I needed to do on my own.
“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath. “You picked the worst spot for your first ink. You know this is going to hurt like a bitch, right?”