Until it took a terrible turn.
A waiter stopped by with a tray of drinks. Vaughn took one for Bailey, for himself, and then held another out to me. I waved it away. “I’m fine, thanks.”
“Oh, have a drink.” Bailey took it from her husband and gestured to me with it. “Cut loose. It’s our wedding.”
“I’m really fine.”
“Not everyone needs to have a drink to have fun,” Jess teased, trying to rescue me.
“I know, but Em loves champagne.” Bailey mock scowled at me. “You haven’t had a drink all night. And you wouldn’t take a drink last night at the inn, either. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were pregnant.”
Panic froze me to the spot as my cheeks bloomed fiery hot and an awkward silence fell over us.
It was moments like these that birthed the phrase “pregnant pause.”
Fuck.
“Oh my God.” Bailey inhaled sharply.
Jack stared at me in shock.
“Oh. My. God.” Bailey glanced between the two of us.
I was going to be sick.
Right all over her designer wedding gown.
“No fucking way,” Vaughn bit out. He held out his glass to Bailey. “Hold this.”
Bailey took it and before anyone could blink, Vaughn punched Jack.
“Oh my God!” I rushed to intervene as Jack reeled. It took him mere seconds to get over the sucker punch before he straightened. His face darkened with fury as he lunged at Vaughn.
“Why does my husband keep punching people at weddings?” Bailey cried.
“Jack! Vaughn!” I reached them just as Cooper restrained Jack and Michael pushed Vaughn away.
“You son of a bitch,” Vaughn growled. “I knew it. I knew you couldn’t be trusted.”
“He doesn’t know.” I pressed my hands to Vaughn’s chest to hold him back. I sagged, exhausted as I turned to Jack whose expression clouded with a mixture of anger, incredulity, and accusation. “I mean … he didn’t know.”
“You’re pregnant?” Jack growled, pushing Cooper away so he could come to me.
I nodded, mortified. Now everyone would know. The whole town. “I just found out.”
Jack hesitated, as if he didn’t know what to say.
“If you even think about asking her if it’s yours, I’ll kill you,” Vaughn warned.
“Of course it’s mine.” Jack bared his teeth at Vaughn like he was thinking of preempting the groom’s threat. He turned to me, his expression dark and foreboding … and worryingly satisfied. He held out his hand. “We need to talk. Now.”
Eyes wet with tears, I turned to Bailey, trying to ignore the hush beneath the band’s music. Everyone was watching us. “I’m so sorry, Bails.”
“Don’t be silly.” She pulled me into her embrace. “I’m sorry I outed you.” I shook my head and Bailey released me. “Are you going to be okay?”
Before I could answer, Jack’s strong hand wrapped around my wrist, gently pulling me away. “I’ll make damn sure of it,” he vowed.
It was as I’d feared.
On the one hand, Jack seemed awfully calm about the news of his impending fatherhood, which was a relief. On the other hand, he also seemed to have assumed that this baby meant he now had an in with me.
And I was not looking forward to dispelling him of the idea.
27
Jack
Emery was pregnant.
Em. His Em. With his kid.
Pregnant.
Jack didn’t know what emotion to grasp on to first. For the first time in his life, he was feeling a rush of many. It was overwhelming.
He was worried about Emery.
He was scared shitless.
He was strangely satisfied.
And grateful that an accidental pregnancy happened between him and the woman he loved and not some woman passing through town.
Angry at fucking Vaughn Tremaine for sticking his nose in, acting like he was Em’s protective big brother.
Thankful Cooper had asked if he was all right instead of shooting him condemning looks like so many of the wedding guests had, like he’d violated the town virgin.
And Jack was nervous. Nervous about the way Emery wouldn’t meet his eye as they sat across from one another in her beach house. She still wore her bridesmaid gown. It was a light pink that looked great against her skin and hair. Em’s lashes were dark with mascara, but that was all he could see of her eyes.
Look at me.
He wanted to gaze into those startlingly pale, beautiful blue eyes and attempt to work out what Em was thinking.
Was she scared?
Did she hate him?
Did she not want the baby?
Fuck, that didn’t even occur to him. What if she didn’t want the baby?
“Em, I’m going crazy over here. Talk to me.”
“I was going to tell you about the … the baby.” She slowly lifted her gaze to meet his. There was so much anxiety and concern in her eyes, Jack couldn’t pin down if she was worried he thought she hadn’t planned to tell him, or she was freaked out about the whole thing. Probably both.
He sat forward on his seat. “I know that. You told me we’d talk later, remember?”
Relief flickered across her face. “Yeah. I just don’t want you to think I would keep this from you.” Anguish darkened her expression. “Now everyone will know.”
“Let’s forget about that for now. First … I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving that stupid note that—”
“Jack, don’t.” Emery stood, touching her temples like she had a headache. The pale-pink dress was the classiest bridesmaid dress Jack had ever seen. It was sleeveless with a high neckline, tied around the neck in a big bow that made a man’s fingers itch to pull it loose. The dress clung to her gorgeous figure, and all that was revealed of her skin was her arms and back. He wondered if those women realized when they picked this dress out for Em that it was sexy as fuck.
Her belly was flat. By Jack’s calculations, she was only seven weeks along. No sign of the baby yet.
Heat flushed through him. That possessive feeling he had about Em, the feelings he tried to stomp down because he didn’t want to act like a caveman dick, roared through him a hundredfold. When he saw her dancing with that preppy-looking asshole at the wedding, he wanted to rip the guy’s arms off.
If he’d known then that she was pregnant with his kid, Jack might have just done that.
And he didn’t know how to feel about it.
He didn’t like that side of himself.
But he couldn’t deny that Emery made him territorial as hell. Jack knew he had to work on softening the edges of those feelings or he’d push Emery even further away.
“Tell me what you want,” Jack coaxed, watching her pace the living room.
Em stopped pacing to face him. She wrapped her arms around her waist, almost protectively, and Jack wanted nothing more than to go to her and put his arms around her too.
He knew by the stubborn glint in her eyes that such a gesture would not be welcome at this juncture.
“I’m keeping the baby.”
Jack sagged with relief. Terror wasn’t far behind, but that was probably normal for any soon-to-be father. Right?
“You can be involved if you want, but I can take care of this child alone, emotionally and financially, so you don’t need to feel obligated to do so.”
It was like being sucker punched for the second time that night but this time by a fucking butterfly—you never anticipated the impact of a flutter of its wings. “What?” he bit out.
She looked uneasy. “I’m just saying—”
“I’m in this.” Jack flew off the couch, gesturing to her belly. “That’s my kid. Our kid. Fuck! I don’t need to feel obligated? What the fuck is that?”
“I just meant that you weren’t expecting this. So I don’t want to hold you to anything.”
“Oh yeah? Were you expecting it?”
“Of course not!”
“Jack—”
“I was gone for you.” His voice grew hoarse as the memory of that night seven weeks ago filled his mind and his dick. “So lost in you, I didn’t even think. That’s on me.”
“It’s on us both.” She glared at him. “I’m a grown-up, Jack. It’s up to me to make sure I’m protected during sex too. I’m not on the Pill. I’ve never had to be. And then I didn’t … think.”
“Fine, we both forgot. Now we have a kid on the way.” He took a tentative step closer, not wanting to spook her. “I don’t know about you, but as much as I am scared shitless out of my mind”—he threw her a shaky smile—“I’m also excited about it.”
Her beautiful eyes grew round with surprise. “You are?”
“Aren’t you?”
She nodded slowly.
He wanted to touch her. He wanted to touch her so badly, but he quelled the urge. “I know we have things to work out, but I want to be with you. I want us to be a family.”
And just like that, a guard slammed down over Emery’s expression. Jack watched it happen with alarming trepidation. She retreated from him.
Shit.
“Jack … I’m sorry, but that will not happen.”
“Em—”
“I don’t trust you.”
Fuck!
“Em—”
“You can’t change my mind. And I-I can’t change that you’re the father of my baby—”
“You’d want to?” he cut in angrily. Hurt. So fucking hurt, it was like she’d plunged a knife through his chest and yanked it upward.
“I never imagined having a baby with someone I wasn’t in a relationship with.”
“That’s why I’m suggesting we get in a relationship.”
“Not for the sake of a baby.”
“Em, it’s not for the sake—”
“Jack.” She held up a hand to stop him. “No. I … I can’t take it anymore.”
He swallowed hard against the desire to yell, to be angry, to plead. “Explain.”
Emery shrugged wearily, and Jack hated it. He hated that she was not even thirty years old and she was weary. Because of him. “I feel like I’ve been left here to wait for you for nine years. And I know it’s not that simple,” she hurried to add. “I know you had your reasons and a part of me even understands them. But you’ve never prioritized me, Jack. And maybe you didn’t owe me that. But that’s what I’m looking for. I’m looking for a guy who hasn’t used other women to push me away, to remind me of what we’re not … so many women”—her eyes glistened with hurt that killed him—“that I had to ask Jessica to test me.”
Suddenly Jack felt sick.
And unclean.
And like a dirty piece of shit for touching her.
He lowered his head, hands on his hips. “I … I’ve never not worn protection … until you.”
“I know. My tests came back clean.”
Jack wanted to get out of there. He wanted to get away from her and get very fucking drunk.
“I’m not saying this to hurt you.”
He scoffed, cutting her a dark look that made her flinch.
“Jack.” She took a step toward him. “I’m not. I … I’m just trying to be honest. I know you never promised me anything, and I don’t blame you. You’ve been honest from the start with me, if a little confusing in some of your actions. But I want to be with someone who doesn’t rush away in the morning after making love to me, leaving me a shitty little note.”
Indignation cut through him. “I admit the note was shitty and it wasn’t all I intended to say, but Becs had called and my mom was melting down. I had to get to her.”
Emery nodded. “I know. For the past—what—five years, you’ve put your family first. And that’s admirable. I’m not blaming you for that. What I’m telling you is that I want to be with a man who sees me as his family first. Who puts me first. That’s never been you, Jack.”
As much as her words killed him, Jack couldn’t argue.
He’d done that.
He’d put his family first before all things.
Including Cooper. Including her.
A choking feeling wrapped around his throat.
He’d failed her.
“I’m not willing to give up on the idea of finding the right person because we got pregnant. I’m happy for you to be as big a part of our child’s life as you want to be … but it won’t be as a family.” Her eyes gleamed with sadness. “It’ll be with a shared custody agreement.”
Shared custody?
Meaning dropping off his kid to the woman he loved after only seeing that kid every other weekend? Watching Em raise his kid with whatever lucky bastard she deemed right for her?
No.
No!
His life was a piece of shit because of his father. He was thirty-eight years old and having to build a new life for himself, start over, and Emery Saunders was the one thing he wanted in his life more than anything.
Had he made mistakes with her? Oh, hell yeah, he had.
Yet Jack couldn’t give up.
They hadn’t even gone on a date but Jack knew that she was his and he was hers, and he felt that deep in his fucking soul.
It had eaten at him for years not being with her.
“I …” He swallowed through the choking sensation. “I’ve been pretty messed up in the head for the last five years. I said and did things that I regret. I … I’m trying to make amends, Em.”
“I know.” Her expression softened. “And you should … I want that for you. You have no idea how happy I am to see you and Cooper trying to rebuild your friendship. I want that for you, Jack. I just …” Her hand rested on her belly. “I have someone else to think about now. I have to lead by example. For years, I’ve accepted the very little that I was given by the people who were supposed to love me. I don’t want my child to think that’s okay.” Her voice cracked and she looked away but not before he caught the heartrending sight of tears in her eyes. He wanted to go to her. He wanted to hold her. Forever. “I … I don’t want my kid to think it’s okay to accept the least that people are willing to give. I want my kid to know they deserve to be loved unconditionally. I can’t just say it. I have to show it and live by example.”
Jack didn’t know how to tell her that giving him a shot would be living by example.
He didn’t know how to tell her that he would marry her in a heartbeat because he was so sure he’d never want anyone else for the rest of his life.
He didn’t know how to tell her that her pain was his pain, and that he’d do anything to take it away. That he hated whoever had hurt her before he’d even walked into her life.
He didn’t have those words.
Bailey had suggested he write a letter.
But Jack realized that even if he did, Emery wasn’t in a place to believe him.
Yeah, he knew his girl was a romantic, but there was something deeper here. He knew it went back to her family. To something that happened to her as a kid. Maybe even with a boy. Em hadn’t been a virgin when they’d slept together. Someone else might have broken her heart before he ever unintentionally broke it too.
No. For the first time in her life, his romantic Emery didn’t need words.
She needed actions.
And they were having a baby together, which meant he had a legitimate excuse to monopolize her time.
In fact, Jack had about seven months.
Seven months to prove through action that he could deserve her. That he loved her beyond reason or doubt. That he would lay down his life for her and his kid.
That he wasn’t going anywhere.
No more prioritizing his family over her. She was right. He’d done what he could for them. Now Emery and the baby growing in her belly were his family.
“Okay.”
Her wet eyes flew to his in shock. “Okay?”
She’d been expecting a fight.
He wouldn’t
do that.
His fight for her heart would be the stealthy kind.
“This isn’t about me or what I want. This is about you and our kid.” He sighed heavily. “You don’t want to be in a relationship, then fine. But I will be involved like any father would be. I’m talking doctor’s appointments, picking out shit for the nursery, answering my cell at two in the morning because you can’t sleep or you have a craving for pickles and mint chocolate chip ice cream.”
She opened her mouth, looking ready to protest.
He cut her off. “I mean it, Em. This is my kid too. I want to be there for all of that.”
Jack waited anxiously for her to agree. She had to agree.
Finally, she nodded. “Okay.”
He tried not to look too relieved. “Can I get you anything now?”
“No, I’m fine. I … uh … I’m tired, actually.”
“Then I’ll leave you be. But I’ll be back, Em. I’m not going anywhere.”
28
Emery
It came as no surprise that Iris was the first person at my door the next day. The store was closed on Sundays, so I thankfully didn’t have to face the gossips just yet. I had missed calls from my friends, which I intended to return.
Especially when I saw Iris on my porch.
I knew the girls (excluding Bailey who was probably already at the airport on the way to her honeymoon) would be worried enough to descend on my house in Iris’s wake.
“You okay?” Iris demanded as she strode into the house.
“Yes.”
“The sickness at my place?”
I nodded sheepishly.
Iris sighed.
“Do you want tea?”
She shook her head and crossed her arms. I gestured for her to sit but she stayed standing. “So … how long has this thing between you and Jack been going on?”
I felt like the real answer was nine years. But when I thought back, this thing really started just before Devlin blackmailed him. “About five years.”
Iris’s eyes widened. “Holy … what?”
I sighed and sat. “Can you sit? I don’t want to crane my neck looking up at you the whole time.”
“Pregnancy comes with an attitude, huh?” Iris teased, sitting on the sectional.
The Truest Thing: Hart's Boardwalk #4 Page 21