“I have to try,” I say softly. “I have to try whatever I can to get her to see me. I don’t want to think of being without her. I don’t want to think about not being able to hold her or touch her or laugh with her. It’s unimaginable, and every single time I think about it, I get this pressure in the middle of my chest, and it won’t go away,” I finally admit out loud. “I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t live without her.”
They don’t say anything to me because there is nothing to say. Nothing will make me feel better. Nothing they could do will make the pain go away. There is nothing anyone can do. Only one person can make this all better. Only one person can put me out of my misery.
Becca.
She is the only one in all of this who can make me whole again, yet the only person who will not give me the time of day.
Chapter 31
Becca
“Welcome back,” Trevor says to me when I walk into my office. I look over my shoulder at him.
“I said I was coming in on Monday.” I set down my coffee on the desk and slip off my brown cashmere coat. “And it’s Monday.”
He nods. “How are you feeling?” he asks, and I shrug.
“I’ve been better,” I say, and it’s the truth. What I don’t tell him is that instead of getting easier, it gets fucking harder. Every single day, he calls morning, noon, and night. I’m thinking he will eventually get tired of calling. I keep hoping that he doesn’t send me anymore texts, yet I look for them. I scroll through them in the middle of the night when I wake yearning for him.
“Well, you look like you need to eat,” he says, and I roll my eyes.
I’m not going to say the black leather skirt I’m wearing is loose on me. It’s the reason I paired it with the green V-neck short-sleeved top that is loose and ties around the waist. It hides everything. “I eat,” I say. “Is Francis in?”
“He’s going to be here at nine,” Trevor says.
“Okay, why don’t we meet in the conference room to go over a couple of things? Mainly New York and Chicago.”
“Sounds good,” he says. I sit down and open my computer, seeing that Erika took care of everything that needs to be taken care of. She walks into my office thirty minutes later. “Your brothers are ready,” she says, smiling at me. I get up, grabbing my coffee. “Thank you for taking care of everything last week. Even though I gave you the rest of the week off,” I tell her, and she just nods her head.
“You know me,” she says, and I don’t have to answer her. I know exactly the type of person she is. I was that person.
I fill my brothers in on who I want to go after, and they all agree with me. The day passes with me making sure I have everything ready to go when the time is right. Lunch comes and goes. Erika has a sandwich delivered, and when she sticks her head back into my office, I notice that it is getting dark outside. “I’m about to head out,” she says, and I nod. “Don’t stay too late.”
“I won’t,” I say, looking down. I start to get up when I hear heels clicking toward my office, and I smile, shaking my head. “What did you forget?” I walk out of my office and come face-to-face with Laurene. The only reason I know who this person is because of the front news pictures that went on. She stands there in a pantsuit with stunning shoes. Her blond hair is tied up in the back of her head in a bun. Her makeup is perfect, and it’s hard to admit that she really is beautiful.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was looking for Becca,” she says, smiling at me. My hands start to shake just a touch. I never thought I would come face-to-face with the woman who is married to the man I love. Fuck, no one would even believe me.
“You’ve found her,” I say, my voice coming out without a tremble, and I even impress myself.
“I’m Laurene,” she says, putting out her hand for me to shake it, and my hand automatically extends. “I was hoping I could have a couple of minutes of your time.”
I look around the office, making sure who is here. I am not one to get physical, but if she touches even a hair on my head, I’m going to drop her. Period. I move away from the door so she can walk in. “Please.” I motion with my hand.
She walks in, and I close the door behind her. “This I …” I say. “Um.”
“It’s not every day that you meet the wife of the man who you love.” She laughs and I just look at her. “I was trying to break the ice. I try to be funny when I’m nervous.”
“Please have a seat.” I point at the couch and walk over to one of the chairs that faces the couch. My hands and knees both trembling. “What can I do for you?”
“I was hoping we could talk, woman to woman,” she says, and she puts her hands on her knees. “I don’t suppose you know who I am.”
I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry I haven’t read your biography, if that is what you’re asking.”
She tilts her head. “I like you. Lizzie said I would.”
“I’m sorry.” I start to get up. “But I really have nothing to say to you right now.”
“That’s quite all right. That means I can do all the talking.” I stand straight.
“I’m not sure I want to hear what you have to say,” I answer her honestly.
“I met Nico when we were both seven.” My stomach starts to sink, and I don’t know how much I can’t stand. “We were both dressed in our Sunday best even though it was Friday. There was some event that we couldn’t miss, and we had no choice but to be there. That was us for basically our whole life. At every single function, the two of us would be left in the corner to fend for ourselves while everyone danced and was seen.” She swallows. “My father is CEO for Night & Day Industries. It was handed down to him from his father and so on. It goes back five generations. I thought it was my legacy, I thought it was going to be passed down to me. I waited. Counted the days. I worked my ass off to take it over, and when it was time for my father to retire, he names my cousin as his predecessor. He had no idea what the company stood for. He had no idea about how the company ran, what he did know was how to snort coke off his mistress’s ass.” I stand here shocked. “And other places. He was the perfect child, prim and proper in front of the eyes, but an asshole behind closed doors.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I say honestly. “I also don’t know what this has to do with me.”
“Well, when I was looked over, I was a wreck, a mess. I’m talking snot crying with vengeance I would make them pay. So Nico, being the friend that he was, sat with me while I downed one shot of tequila after another. I vowed I would make them pay. I would show them what a mistake they made.” She looks down and then looks back up again and she has tears running down her face. “My father died two weeks later. Although he didn’t leave me his company, he left me his stock options. For the past ten years, I’ve been slowly working my way up to buying a majority of the stocks to take over the company that is rightfully mine. With that said, there was one family who I needed, and no matter how many fucking times I wined and dined them, the one thing stopping them from selling it to me. I was an unmarried woman.”
I want to roll my eyes. “Harold, the father, was adamant that I have a man by my side to guide me. He was also holding out because he would have liked me to be married. Can you believe we are in the twentieth-first century and a woman cannot be without a man?”
“I’m sorry that you went through all that,” I say. “Truly I am, but—”
“I tried everything to get him to sell them to me, and when I say everything, I mean everything. He wouldn’t budge so I called in Nico. I begged him to help me out. He was hesitant at first and even he tried to get him to switch without actually having to get married but.” My mind starts to spin when she starts to talk about Nico’s part in this plan. “It was supposed to be a ninety-day marriage. We had the lawyer draft up NDAs for anyone who was on the case to sign. It was never, ever supposed to be leaked.” The tear that is waiting to fall finally rolls over. “For that, I’m so, so sorry.”
“I’m …” I say, and m
y throat closes up.
“I don’t know what you and Nico had,” she says. “But I do know that my best friend is suffering. I have never seen him like this, and to be honest, I had no idea about you until yesterday when he almost tore off his lawyer’s head,” she says. “He’s the only man I will ever trust.”
“Then he confessed to me what happened and I have to be honest. He’s a smart man, but he’s also a very stupid man.” I almost laugh at her. “But he’s also kind and so fucking loyal he married me just so I can get stocks in a company.” I try to say something. I try to, but nothing comes out. My mouth is dry, and as much as I try not to cry in front of her, I can’t stop the one tear that escapes.
“I know what it feels like to love someone and they not know.” She wipes her own tear. “I fell in love with Lizzie when I was thirteen, but I had to hide it. I didn’t know then that it would be a love that would seep so deep in me that nothing would come close to it.” My eyes go wide, my mouth hangs down. “I kissed her for the first time three years ago. No one knows that we are together, not even Nico. I love her with everything I have, and I have no idea how I would be if I had to stand back and watch her parade around with someone. I can’t imagine what you went through when you found out. I would never want to inflict that pain on anyone.” She wipes her tear away.
“It’s not your fault,” I say, and she gets up.
“I won’t take up anymore of your time,” she says, turning and walking away. She stops when she gets to the door. “Nico also doesn’t know that I’m here right now.”
“Why?” I ask. “Why come here and plead his case?”
“Because regardless of what happens, you should know that we aren’t together like that,” she says. “The marriage is as fake as my boobs.” I want to burst out laughing, but I can’t. “I hope to see you soon.”
She turns and walks out of my office. I stand here for a second until my legs give out, and I fall into the chair.
I don’t even focus when I make my way home. I walk to my room and undress, slipping into jeans. I’m walking downstairs when I make the decision to end this. End all of this. I get into the car, my head replaying Laurene’s words. Over and over again, I fight back the tears.
Getting out of the car, I look around, seeing only a couple of lights on. I walk up to the door and press the doorbell. I wrap my jacket closer to me as my heartbeat echoes in my ears. I hear footsteps and then the lock unlocking. I have been practicing this moment. I’ve seen it in my head, but nothing could have prepared me for this.
The door is pulled open and all I can do is look at him. “Becca,” he whispers. He stands there in his dress pants and a white shirt that I know is almost soft like silk. His two buttons at his neck are open, his sleeves rolled up. His hair looks like his hands were just in them, his eyes look exactly like mine. With heavy circles around them and the light in them gone.
“Nico,” I say, feeling almost like a stranger standing in front of him. “I was wondering if you had a minute to talk.”
Chapter 32
Nico
“Nico.” She says my name, and my heart stops in my chest. She’s so fucking beautiful she takes my breath away. “I was wondering if you had a minute to talk.”
“Come in,” I say. I want to pull her into the house. I want to pull her into my arms. I want to pull her to me, grab her face, and kiss her lips. The whole day has been shot to shit. We left yesterday for the game, and for the first time ever, I had no emotion for it. I was there, but my head was back here in Dallas, wondering how she was.
She walks in, and I take her in. My memory is nothing compared to the real thing. “I don’t want to interrupt you,” she says, and I can see that she’s nervous, and I hate it. I hate all of this fucking shit.
“You can never interrupt me,” I say to her and I hope she looks up at me again. But she just looks down, and I’m internally roaring in madness. “Can I get you something to drink?” I ask, hoping it will keep her here longer if only for one minute more.
“I think I’m okay.” She laughs, but you know it’s a fake laugh. Her eyes don’t light up, and her smile doesn’t fill her face. “I don’t want to take anymore of your time.”
“Becca,” I say her name in almost a plea. The minute I say her name, I see the tears fill her eyes, and if I thought I knew pain before, I was wrong. The sight of her in this state is more than I can cope with. The fact that I made her feel like this. I feel like someone has cracked open my chest and pulled out my heart. “Let’s go into the living room.”
She blinks away the tears and follows me. The last time I was in this room with her, she was naked and in my arms. I wait for her to sit before taking a seat. “I’ve been calling you,” I say, and she nods her head. “I’m so sorry, Becca.” The lump forms even bigger in my throat when I see her trembling hand wipe away a tear.
“Well …” She shakes her head and looks down at her trembling hands. I want to get up to go over to her and hold her hands in mine. “Laurene came to see me.” She shocks me with those words.
“When she came to me, I thought she was joking, to be honest,” I say. Whatever happens, she has to hear the truth, and she has to hear it from me. “But then I went with her to a meeting, and I knew the guy wasn’t going to budge.” I knew that if anything would come out of this, you would at least hear it from me.
“I just …” Her voice trembles. “I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me.”
I shake my head, the pit of burning starting in my stomach. “I wanted to. The night that you came over for dinner.”
“I knew something was bothering you,” she points out to me. “I asked you, and you said it was nothing.”
“I was a coward,” I admit. “I didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“You think me finding out when I turned on the television is better than hearing it from you,” she says bitterly.
“I wanted to tell you in person,” I say, and she shakes her head. “It’s just how do you bring up the fact that you have to marry someone for ninety days while you’re with your new girlfriend?” I get up, the nerves running through me. “It’s not exactly ‘hey, can you pass the salt, oh, and by the way, I’m getting married tomorrow.’”
“Well.” She stands, and I see she’s angry. “It’s fucking better than turning on the television and finding out that way, I can tell you that much.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, my voice coming out in almost a whisper.
“How would you feel,” she starts, “if you woke up one day, and the news is all over that I was married to Manning?”
“I would kill,” I answer honestly, the blood in my veins running cold.
“I keep thinking about it over and over in my head,” she says. “Everything that Laurene told me, and I am going to be one-hundredpercent honest with you right now. If the roles were reversed, I would have done the same.”
“What?” I ask, shocked.
“If I had to marry one of my clients for whatever reason, I would do it. If it hurt no one,” she adds at the end. “That is what gets me the most. I would have understood. I might not have liked it, but you didn’t even give me a chance.” She points at herself.
“I wish I could go back,” I say softly. “I wish I could go back to the beginning and tell you from the start. I have never regretted anything more in my life,” I say, and she nods her head. “What I feel for you, it’s something.”
“I love you,” she cuts me off, and my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest. “I just didn’t know it until it was too late.”
“It’s not too late,” I say, the dread creeping into me. I walk over to her, and she doesn’t move away. I put my hand on her face. “It’s not too late.” My thumb rubs the tear away from her cheek that escaped. “Please, Becca. I love you.”
“Which makes this suck even more than I thought it would,” she says.
“We can make it work.” I will get down on my knees and beg her to stay
with me. “I will do whatever.” I put my forehead on hers.
“But the thing is,” she says, “I can’t get over the fact you didn’t tell me.” She puts her hands on mine and slowly steps out of my reach. “In this whole thing, you never put me before anything.”
“You’re the only thing I thought about,” I say. “The only thing that ran through my mind.”
“Yet you couldn’t tell me,” she says. “You couldn’t just be honest with me. That is something I can’t get over. I can’t be just an afterthought.” She looks down. “I’m sorry. I just can’t forgive that. For my whole life, I was pushed to the side and not thought of. I can’t be with someone who treats me the same way.”
“There is nothing that I can say that will change your mind?” I don’t know if I’m asking her or telling her.
She shakes her head. “I wanted you to know that I get the whole marriage thing. But I don’t get the secret thing, especially from me. We were in a relationship. I was supposed to be your partner.”
“I’m so sorry.” It’s the only thing I can think to say.
“Me, too,” she says, taking a deep breath. “More than you know.” We stare at each other. “I’ll see myself out,” she says, walking past me. I call her name one last time.
“Becca.” I say her name, and she looks over her shoulder. “You are worth everything.” She smiles sadly at me, not hiding the tear running down her face this time.
“So are you, Nico,” she says right before she walks out of the room. I listen to her footsteps, getting farther and farther away from me. The pain in my chest gets stronger and stronger until I can’t stand it anymore, and I drop to my knees at the same time as the door slams shut.
I hear her car door, and I get up in time to look out the window and see the red lights fade into the distance. Turning, I go over to the bar and grab the bottle of scotch. I don’t bother with a glass.
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