Joel is a good guy, even though by his behaviour lately it’s hard to recognise him: he’s lost his way since his mom died 2 years ago and I don’t judge him because I can’t imagine how it would feel losing my mom. I know he was as close to Kristen as I am to my own mom.
‘I don’t know, dude, it started as a bit of a joke really but it’s getting out of hand. When we got here for training, he got here a day early like me and aunt Angie and he helped us out setting up everything and reopening until you guys arrived.
He’s Rob’s cousin this is how he got the job here, he hopes to get help with some scholarships he’s interested in, I think he wants to get into acting and wants a college degree in drama but had to postpone because he doesn’t come from money and he can’t afford college...’
‘Isn’t his uncle really rich?’
I interrupt.
‘Yes, Rob’s dad is a hedge fund guy but while Rob and Justin are friends, their fathers don’t get along, so his uncle won’t help him. Anyway, I thought he was a good guy, sure a bit rough around the edges but Rob’s not too different, so I didn’t think there was anything wrong.
Well, you might know that the first night Hayley snuck into my room and we ended up having sex. It was wild: yoga instructor? The flexibility thing is not a myth. I might have been bragging to Justin and Rob about Hayley being really fun in the sack and they both asked me if it would bother me if they had a go. I said I didn’t care but I had no idea that Hayley would think she was my girlfriend... You know I don’t do relationships, so I tried to talk to her but she didn’t want to hear it.
I even slept with Lucy and hooked up with Tatiana and made sure she knew about it but that didn’t stop her from pursuing things with me.
At that point, Justin and Rob had a wager about sleeping with her and Rob especially had it quite bad: he’s really into blondes.
Anyway, they weren’t getting anywhere and Hayley was flirting with them trying to make me jealous. So I thought: what’s the most asshole move you can do to a girl when even fucking someone else won’t put her off? I thought if I asked her to sleep with my two friends, she’d be horrified and dump my sorry ass but she did it and then got really hurt that I didn’t see it as proof of how much she loved me...’
I observe that now they don’t seem to talk much.
‘Yeah, I guess that where my request didn’t succeed, my lack of appreciation for her going through with it put things in perspective for her. But I still catch her watching me, I think she’s still delusional that I care about her or what she does ... Anyway, Rob and Justin started saying I was the best wingman and this one night, Tatiana turned up here, uninvited, and I was tired and not in the mood so after a few drinks, I asked her to entertain my friends and it was almost a joke so she’d get pissed off and leave but...’
I roll my eyes and if the whole situation wasn’t a bit sickening, I would actually find it funny.
‘You’re one persuasive piece of shit, it seems...’
He shrugs.
‘Dude, you said no judgment... By the way then Lucy happened. And I swear, I have nothing to do with her sleeping with them, I didn’t ask...’
Another eye roll from me.
‘I don’t think Lucy needs to be asked to sleep with someone...’
He snickers.
‘I hear you and Austin are her only failure among the camp staff this year...’
‘Not for lack of trying on her part, Joel. But...’
‘I know you are into Clary but you could have tapped Lucy. I don’t think that Clary...’
‘Look, I... It’s different with Clary. I mean, I want to sleep with her so much. But it isn’t only about sex with her and she’s not...’
He stops me by putting a hand on my arm and he agrees:
‘I understand. Clary’s come here to camp for 3 years. She’s all grown up now but unless I misread her, I think she’s a lot more... Innocent.’
I don’t comment: it isn’t my business to divulge what Clary has or hasn’t done and I would feel like I was betraying her if I revealed to Joel that I was her first kiss.
‘Ok, but so how much do you think I have to worry about Justin?’
Joel shakes his head.
‘I told him that it’s not a thing. I don’t just give he and Rob my cast offs, as he put it. I told him that Clary isn’t like that, that regardless of what he might think, I see Clary like a little sister and I wouldn’t let my little sister sleep with him or Rob... I don’t know how much of that sunk in. I think in general, Clary doesn’t like him and doesn’t hang out with Lucy, Hayley and so on, she has a different circle of friends. Just make sure that whenever we all hang out together, like tonight, Clary isn’t alone for too long. Let’s try to have eyes on one of them at all times. Just as a precaution. He seemed very angry and I am not sure how much of it was the drugs and the booze. ‘
I tell him that if he let me kick Justin’s ass, we wouldn’t have to worry.
‘Xan, I think it’s ok. I think Justin is all talk and he’s got enough girls to keep him busy without wasting time on one who doesn’t like him anyway.’
‘I hope you are right because if I only catch him looking at her the wrong way...’
He gives me a friendly slap on the back.
‘I know. I told him I would kick his ass too and not to forget that instructors and counsellors are one thing but that Clary is a guest and if she makes a complaint, it could mean saying goodbye to his scholarship. He knows he’s got everything to lose. We’ll be ok. You just make sure you treat Clary nicely...’
‘I love her, Joel.’
I blurt that out and surprise even myself: I knew I was strongly inclined towards that kind of feeling but I didn’t think I would get there quite this quickly.
‘Whoa! Have you told her?’
I shrug.
‘No and I don’t want to scare her off. I just scared myself off a bit too, to be honest. But I will eventually tell her and hopefully she’ll feel the same. It’s not just a summer fling, at least I don’t want it to be...’
Joel tells me he’ll see me at the lake in one hour and I go do one thing I think it’s necessary for more than one reason: I go look for Logan.
I find him shooting hoops at the basketball court and when he sees me, he greets me in a friendly way: I like Logan, I think he’s a good guy.
I challenge him to a game of HORSE and he accepts.
Playing with him is challenging and fun and we are taking a break and drinking a soda when I say:
‘I noticed that you and Clary are good friends, you seem to care about her...’
He looks suddenly on edge.
‘Yes, I do...’
I interrupt him:
‘I care about her too. A lot... As more than friends...’
‘So do I... I have been desperately in love with her for two years and finally this year, she at least likes me back. We did kiss...’
This isn’t going the way I was hoping, I guess there’s an elephant in the room before we tackle the situation with Justin.
‘I kissed her too...’
I confront him.
He responds with an eye roll.
‘Yes, I thought this much, that stupid 7 minutes in Heaven dare...’
‘No, Logan. Not then. I kissed her the day after that, I kissed her yesterday... Logan, I am in love with her.’
His eyes widen in surprise: he lets the basketball fall and he sits down on one of the benches. I go sit next to him.
‘I don’t understand. I kissed her too, yesterday and the night before, for the first time. She didn’t say anything about you...’
I sigh.
‘She didn’t say anything about you either.’
‘But...’
I stop him.
‘Did you ask her to be your girlfriend?’
He shrugs.
‘Well, no... Not in so many words. But she knows how I feel... Did you?’
‘No, I didn’t ask her to be exclusive.
Even thought I don’t know how she could even think that I would ever look at another girl. I did tell her I like her and it isn’t just a physical thing...’
‘So, I am confused. Is she dating us both?’
I nod.
‘I guess in her mind, she’s getting to know us better, just dating. She might choose, Logan...’
He shakes his head.
‘Maybe we should both ask her and see what she says...’
‘Maybe. But if she hasn’t made a choice, it might be because she can’t. I haven’t known Clary as long as you have but I don’t think she’s trying to two time us or anything. I think she genuinely cares for us both and she hasn’t made a choice because she can’t...’
‘But eventually she will have to...’
He objects.
‘Possibly but not necessarily...’
He looks confused.
‘What do you mean?’
‘What if she can’t choose? What if she fell in love with both of us and didn’t know how or couldn’t make a choice?’
‘I don’t understand what you are trying to say...’
‘That maybe she doesn’t have to make a choice. Maybe, she can be in love with both of us...’
He laughs a bit weirded out:
‘Dude, are you asking me to be your boyfriend?’
I slap him on the back laughing too: Logan is goofy but very funny, he’s a good guy.
‘Hell, no! I don’t want to date your ugly ass, thank you very much!’
‘Then you have me positively lost.’
He concludes.
‘Look, all I am trying to say is that we should both date her and see how things progress. If she chooses one of us, then that’s it. But I would rather date her knowing that you are dating her too rather than not date her at all. So, I say let’s not pressure her to choose and see how things go.
I can see that you love her, Logan, and I swear to God that I love her too, with all my heart.
Love can be unselfish and all I want is for Clary to be loved and happy, and if that means sharing her with you, then I am in.’
Logan looks deep in thought as if he’s considering my words so I add:
‘You and I can be friends and just make sure that Clary is happy. I am not saying that there won’t be jealousy but I am willing to work on it. After all, if you think long term, after the summer we’ll both be a few hours away from her and it will be possible but hard to do the long distance thing.
But if she was dating both of us...’
This seem to convince Logan.
‘Uhm, Ok. I guess this could work. You are right, I would rather date her with you in the picture than her dump me for you...’
‘Exactly. So, tonight, could we share her time? I will have to work especially until dinner is over, so maybe after, you won’t mind if I have some time with her? Of course unless she decides she’d rather be with you the whole evening...’
We agree that we will both date Clary and possibly, even tell her that we love her. If that doesn’t make her choose, we will bring her in on the plan to date both of us.
Logan wipes his face with one hand:
‘Wow, if someone had told me this last week, I would have told them to stop shitting me...’
He isn’t wrong: I would have never thought that I could come up with this plan but here we are.
Logan starts to leave but I stop him and ask him to sit down and tell him what happened with Justin.
His reaction is very similar to mine and we agree that we won’t let Clary out of our sight or make sure that we know where she is and with whom at all times.
I go to the lake feeling determined not to lose my beautiful mermaid: if she chose me, I would be happy of course but all I want is for her to love me.
***
Clary
Hazel and I are getting ready for the bonfire: I am in my purple sundress, with silver sandals and my hair completely down in long, auburn beach waves.
Hazel is wearing navy skinny jeans with a light blue flowing tunic and her hair is up in a high ponytail.
There’s no sign of Brie or Jemma.
‘I am starting to get worried, especially if you think that the last time we saw her, she was leaving to go somewhere with Justin... And after his rape you and throw you in a ditch comment...’
Hazel sighs and tells me that she caught a glimpse of her when we were leaving the restaurant after lunch:
‘The dress she was planning to wear for the party is gone, so I’m sure she’s ok.’
She reassures me but her tone is too vague and Hazel is even a worse liar than I am, so I look at her through narrowed eyes and protest:
‘If you know something, you better fess up...’
She looks at the floor when she speaks next.
‘Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, she was eating lunch with Jemma, Lucy, Hayley and Leah...’
‘What the heck?’
I react.
‘As I said, we don’t know why she was hanging out with them, so we’ll talk to her...’
‘But it doesn’t make sense! She’s been calling them sluts and everything, why would she hang out with them all of a sudden?’
She reminds me that Brie is dating Justin and that they are all his friends.
‘And Clary... Rob hangs out with them too and if I want a chance with him...’
I can’t believe this: for a second I am so angry that I almost cannot breathe:
‘So you are ditching me for them too?’
I ask, incredulous.
‘Clary, you are quite welcome to hang with us too...’
I tell her that that’s not true and that hanging out with them would mean seeing Justin and I think it’s definitely too soon for me.
‘Look, Clary, you have 3 dates tonight anyway and I don’t think you’ll have time for us...’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
She shrugs.
‘Nothing, I am simply pointing out the obvious...’
Well, I am a bit hurt by my friends hanging out with my 3 self declared archenemies but I try not to make it all about myself and be considerate of their feelings: after all, up until last summer if Joel had paid me any attention, I would have hung out with Hitler, Stalin and Jack the Ripper.
‘Just be careful, I don’t trust Justin nor his friends. Please keep an eye on Brie too...’
She promises she’ll be careful and she makes me promise to be with one of my boys or with her and not wander off by myself.
We head down to the beach as the afternoon is slowly turning into evening: it’s still light outside but the sky is starting to get that slow pink hue that precedes sunset.
Several piles of wood are being lit all along the beach and there are a bbq station, an ice cone set up, a dance floor and several piles of sleeping bags for who wants to camp out all night on the beach since curfew is cancelled for tonight.
Fairy lights are hanging everywhere and the air has the intoxicating scent of burning wood, flowers, sun lotion and sand and jasmine and pine trees.
People are starting to trickle in and some are already playing beach soccer or volleyball.
I feel observed and I spot Xander by the snow cone station, lining up different syrups and disposable cups: his aqua eyes fix on me and his upper lip lifts slightly up in a sexy smile while he watches me walk around the beach.
He looks so handsome with his light brown hair cut really short on the sides and slightly longer on top of his head and wearing navy shorts and a white t-shirt with the camp logo that stretches on his broad shoulders and does nothing to hide his six pack, his biceps bulging every time he lifts something onto the table.
I’m about to go talk to him when my feet lose contact with the sand and I get lifted and spun around to be held by strong arms and I find myself immersed in impossibly cloudless blue eyes.
Logan smiles wide, his eyes crinkling a bit at the corners: he places a soft kiss on my jaw, next to my ear and whispers:
&
nbsp; ‘If no one has told you yet, you are so beautiful that you make my knees feel weak.’
I laugh at his statement because nothing in his strong body could ever look weak.
‘What do you say, we get something to eat and then dance a little?’
I agree to his plan but I am surprised he isn’t playing beach soccer or something.
‘I can play a bit later. Right now, I want to be with my sweetheart. And we need to dance, so I can hold you close, you are way too beautiful for my own good...’
I smile and tell him that he is verging on the cute side himself.
The food is ready and several people are already sitting down by one of the many bonfires and eating.
I get a hot dog and potato salad and Logan goes for a chicken burger and fruit salad and we find a not so crowded spot by one of the bonfires closer to the lake.
I spot my friends sitting with my least favourite people here at camp and by the same bonfire are sitting Joel, Jemma and Brooklyn.
I decide to ignore them and start eating my hot dog.
‘You are so good at eating cock, I call dibs for next time you are hungry!’
Catcalls Justin who’s sitting near the fire with Brie by his side.
Logan is about to go and confront him when Joel steps in and warns him.
‘I thought we were clear on you being on your best behaviour before you go too far and someone complains about you...’
‘Whatever, man! If little miss prissy can’t take a joke...’
‘Just leave Clary alone, Justin. I don’t want to have to tell you again.’
He quiets down glaring at me for an instant before taking a drink from his beer bottle.
My eyes meet Brie’s and she looks like something is bothering her: I will have to try to catch her without her “beau” within earshot.
Logan has finished eating and deposits his plate on the floor by his side before taking one of my hands in his and looking at me with concern in his light blue eyes:
‘Are you ok, sweetie? I just want you to have fun tonight. If that asshole bothers you again, I will have him fired before the night is over.’
I touch his smooth cheek with my other hand and tell him that I appreciate his thoughtfulness but if Justin dares say anything mean to me again, I will kick him in the balls plain and simple.
Lake Emerald Chronicles: The First Summer: A Reverse Harem Romance Page 15