by S. E Foster
“When can we see her?” I ask him, not really expecting an answer as he has buried his face in his hands again. I just want to break the eerie silence, which hangs between us.
“She’s still in recovery, then they are moving her to a ward. They said when they have her on a ward I could see her.” I don’t miss the way he shut me out and said I instead of us. I guess I deserve that. If I had never had the hospital ring her all those months ago, then she would not be here now. Going through major surgery and possibly losing her chance to have children. I stand to head back to my room, at least I know she will be ok.
“Thanks for telling me, I best get back to my room.” I don’t give him time to answer, as I practically turn and run back to my room.
I fall on to the bed and I start to cry, I let it all out. Everything that has happened has finally caught up with me and I feel like I am going to break. I feel I hand on my shoulder, as the tears consume me, my body shudders uncontrollably.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you Faith, I understand you need to see her just as much as I do, if not more. I realised what I said, as soon as you left and the way it came across.” The gruffness of his deep tone makes me realise who it is speaking. I did not expect Malc to have followed me, or give me any soothing words after everything, but I am glad all the same.
“Tell her I’m so sorry Malc, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen to her. I love her so much I would never want her to be hurt.” The tears have not stopped, I can feel myself heaving in-between sobs.
I feel him rub small circles on my shoulder trying to calm me, but it’s not working. The only person I want to console me is Damien and he is not back yet. He needs to get me out of this place. I need to forget and the only person that can make that happen is Damien.
“I will tell her Faith, but you’re going to have to give her time.”
“Faith, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” I turn over in the bed to face the door where he is standing. He drops the bag and rushes over to me, Malc steps out of the way just in time to let Damien get to me. He scoops me up and holds me close, just letting me sob into his chest. The feel of his warm body against mine and his heart beating against my ear does calm me. I relay everything that has happened while Damien was away, Malc steps out, I don’t think he can listen to me retell it, he is having a hard enough time living it.
“I need to shower and dress do you think you can help me please.” I ask him, I hope he will say yes but I’m a mess, the dried blood all over me, the bruises and scratches that cover my body, I won’t blame him if he won’t.
“I can’t Faith. If I see you in that shower things are going to lead somewhere that they can’t go right now.” I’m flooded with disappointment, I knew that all this crap would be too much for him. That he can’t look at me or that he does not want me in the same way as he did before. I unravel myself from his arms and try to make my escape to the bathroom, but he snags hold of my wrist and turns me back to face him.
“You can get that thought out of your head Faith. I want you so much. I can see the cogs turning inside your head.” He grabs hold of my chin and kisses me with a passion that I have not felt for days, his tongue tries to invade my mouth, to deepen the kiss and I allow it needing to feel that connection to him.
“The only reason I am not going in that bathroom with you is that I don’t want to fuck you in some hospital bathroom. When I take you again it will be in our home do you understand me? I want to hear you scream my name as I take you.” My mouth drops open at his statement as I wander into the bathroom to get myself clean, and ready so that I can go home and be with my man.
I step under the warm shower spray. I shiver at first it is hot enough to cleanse the dirt and the grime away from my body, as I contemplate the whirlwind that has been the last few months of my life.
On the outside looking in, a few months ago I had a father and a mother who appeared to love me, as happy without a care in the world. Then my life was turned upside down, all my plans were snatched from under me by my father of all people. How can a father, the one person in this whole world who is supposed to look out for his little girl make them disposable object?
The only thing that worked out for the better is Damien, who I love unconditionally. Regardless of his faults and his ideas of keeping me safe. He is the one person who I know will always keep me safe and come for me. No matter what happens, he will always be there for me.
I let the steam surround me in a cloud just wanting to hide for a little while, to be invisible wishing none of this has happened to me, but then I realise that if I did not go through hell I would not have Damien in my life. A knock on the door pulls me from my run away thoughts.
“Faith? Are you ok in there?” I hear the concern in his voice, and it touches my heart that after everything we have been through he still has this soft side that only I get to see.
“Just a minute, I’m just finishing up.” I say to him in hopes of soothing his concerns. I quickly wash myself, ignoring the pain that courses through all of my body. I shut off the water and step out and towel myself dry, realising my clothes are not in here shit, I need to go back out into the room and grab my bag. I pull open my door and step out, I watch as his eyes roam over my scantily clad body. I see the hunger in his eyes but I also see the anger at the marks covering my body.
“Sorry, I forgot to take my clothes in there with me let me just grab them, and go back to the bathroom.” I feel dirty, I know my body does not look great but it feels a hell of a lot cleaner than it did.
“I am not angry at you Faith or repulsed the way you look. I am angry at what he did to you. I know that we have dealt with him but the feeling I have when I see you in pain or hurt makes me want to hurt him all over again.”
I feel relief at his words and I drop the towel where I stand in front of him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Faith
The ride to the house is quiet and all I want to do is sleep. I didn’t see Cami before I left the hospital but Malc stayed behind. He refused to leave her there on her own. I think it’s sweet. When the car comes to a stop outside of the house I open the door. I’ve missed this place. It’s strange to think how much like home it has become.
I can see myself here for the rest of my life. Watching our children grow as I grow old with the man I love. Knowing that my life here in this world would not be complete without him.
I walk through the doors of the house and a wonderful smell hits me straight away drawing me towards the kitchen. I love the smell of roasting ham, I can almost taste the honey glaze coating. Wandering inside I take a seat at the table and I see Anton already sat there with Lily. A huge smile of relief crosses her face when she sees me.
I feel her arms circle around me, I feel the love emanate from her. The sheer feeling of joy runs through me at the thought of being truly accepted. I shut it down quickly. While I am here getting cuddles and sympathy, Cami is lying in a hospital bed recovering.
“I’m so glad you're home safe Faith, we were all so worried about you.” My eyes start to fill up and I have to take a big deep breath to get myself under control.
“Thank you, I’m glad to be home.” I say with true conviction in my voice, because I am glad it’s over and I am glad I’m home.
I sit down and try to have a small plate of ham, egg and chips. There is something to be said for a simple meal. It soothes the soul and gives you comfort.
It’s getting late and I have to be up early in the morning to go and visit Cami. I need to see her. If she won’t see me then I will go back every day until she will. There is no way I am giving up on her, she would have never given up on me.
“I am off to bed everyone; I will see you all tomorrow.” I stand to leave, hearing all the goodnights called to me as I make my way down the hall to the bedroom.
I open the bedroom door and the sight that greets me makes my cry instantly. I feel the heat at my back and I know who is behind me, his warm hands wrap arou
nd my waist and guide me into our bedroom, the white rose petals scattered on the bed, the candles that surround the bedroom, have my heart melting and my insides heating up.
He presses tender kisses to my neck, working his way down from my ear to over my collarbone, still clothed I can feel the heat of the kisses through the t-shirt, it’s like he is kissing all the bad away.
Slowly I lift up my arms, as he takes the hem of my t-shirt and slips it over my head, my top half is now bare for him as he traces his lips down me, his kisses are like feathers across my skin making it tingle and burn for him all at the same time.
He unsnaps my jeans and gently pushes them over the swell of my hips and towards the ground. I lift up each foot one at a time to remove them, once they have gone I am now on show, every scrape, every bruise, I try to cover myself from his view, but he does not let me, he holds my arms gently to my sides as he continues to kiss me, even more seductively than before, I get so lost in the pleasure that he is bringing my body.
I don’t even see him remove his clothes. He lifts me into his arms, and gently lays me down in the middle of the bed, my body is already on fire every nerve ending alight and craving his next touch. He is doing exactly what I need him to do he is changing the memory for me, washing away the bad, until I get the memory of just him and me. It doesn’t block everything out, but it helps to heal the scars that have been left, forever imprinted in my mind. His eyes find mine through the passion, all I see is love shining back at me, it makes my heart burst even right now, in this moment he wants nothing but me and the love I can give him in return.
“I love you Faith so much, I could not live in a world where you do not keep me in the light.”
I don’t care that I have tears in my eyes this amazing man has just told me I am his world. Now is for the future not the past, for the living not the dead.
I open wider for him to nestle right where I want him, hoping that he understands that I need him now more than ever.
“I love you too Damien, more than you will ever know we may not have started right, but I will always be your light in the dark, the good to the evil that will never destroy us.”
As I finish declaring my love, he presses himself into me, so slowly filling me with every inch, I feel myself stretch around him my hands find his back and I cling to him, to feel every ridge of his cock moving slowly in and out of me is ecstasy, a high that I never want to come down from, he meets my lips and takes my mouth, his tongue moves at the same agonizing pace as his hips do pushing himself deeper inside me filling me top to bottom, surrounding me with all of him I feel consumed. And I love every fucking minute of it.
“Come with me Faith, I want to finish with you.” His words send me over the edge and I scream as my muscles tighten and I contract around him milking him for everything he has to give me. I feel him pulse deep inside of me, pausing when he can’t go any further; his breathing has hitched a little.
“I want you with me always Faith, I never want to be without this feeling, you are mine. I never want to feel what we have just been through again, the thought of losing you killed me inside, I can’t survive without you. Will marry me Faith?” I look at him, as I still feel him nestled deep inside waiting for my answer. I look into his eyes, did he really just ask me to marry him? Do I want to marry him knowing how this relationship started, but looking up to the man I love knowing that he would die for me, has killed a man for me, but above all else he would change for me, it’s not that I want him to change, the fact that If I did ask him he would and that’s enough for me no longer will I ever feel unimportant, I will always be wanted and needed, to Damien I am his.
“Yes.”
He kisses me and pulls out, pulling me onto his chest, I soon drift off knowing that I have found my place, as long as Damien is by my side I can take on the world.
EPILOGUE
Faith
Six months later
I can’t believe today has finally arrived. I stand in our bedroom with Cami and Lily, wearing my ivory corset and panties. The silk is so soft against my skin, it’s like I’m wearing nothing.
My dress hangs on the rail inside the wardrobe, the strapless ivory silk mermaid style with the lace over dress, with fitted sleeves flows over the top of the gown like a glove, a perfect match all held together with the diamond belt. I still don’t know how much the dress cost and if I asked, I probably wouldn't have bought it but as soon as I saw it while shopping with Cami, I knew it was the dress I would be saying “I do” in.
The journey to get us to this point has been hard and not without its trials, Damien asked me to marry him pretty much as soon as we got home from the hospital. I said Yes, but it would not be until everyone I loved could attend.
There was no way I was getting married without Cami there with me. Her journey has been worse than mine, she only left the hospital 8 weeks ago. At first she refused to see anyone, demanded that I go away, that I had caused all of her pain.
Damien made sure she got the best help, I kept going back and slowly as time went on she let me back in. That day was hard, I think we spent the 2 hour visiting session just crying and holding hands. I tried not to look at her differently but she was different. Gone was the girl that got me out of the apartment for a haircut and dinner.
The girl in her place was devoid of all feelings, she went through the motions of living; she slept, she ate, and she read but that was all she did. She is still dealing with what happened to her and the one person that seems to be able to get her to do anything would be Malc, he has been there every day even when she shouted and screamed at him; he never gave up, never lost his temper with her.
He was the one that finally told me to marry Damien, because I could be waiting forever for her to come back to me, to be the friend she was. So here I am, having my hair and make-up done, getting ready to walk down the aisle to my future.
“Faith, this belonged to my mother.” I look up and notice the beautiful blue hairpin, the little stone that is surrounded by two intertwined gold rings. “That’s stunning Lily.”
“The two gold rings represent you both and the blue gem is your marriage, it shows that as long as you are honest and love each other, the gem will stay intact but pull them apart you risk breaking it.” Her voice is so gentle you could get lost in it forever.
“I want you to wear it today as you walk towards my son, it is your something old, something borrowed and something blue. And before you say no, this is a tradition all the women in our family have.” My fingers tentatively reach out to take it from her but she bats my hand away and proceeds to put in to my hair, slotting it in at the veil that is sitting just under the bun in my hair.
They say that people who get married quickly go in blind, not knowing what each person is like. I know this man that I am walking towards inside out.
Malc is walking me down the aisle of our garden ceremony at the house, he promised to show me the garden at night with the twinkling lights, when he did I fell in love and I knew then that this would be where we would marry, under the stars. Why would I want to get married anywhere other than our secret garden? This is the first place I saw the sweeter side of Damien, the one only I see.
As I walk closer to Damien I get ready to meet him at the altar, Malc stops and turns me to face him, then leans in close to my ear.
“Never give up on him Faith, you’re his whole world.” As I turn back the tears fill my eyes, I give him a kiss on the cheek as he finally gives me away to Damien.
I gaze up at him so I can speak my written vows for him.
“I promise to always be your light, when you need to be shown the way.
I promise to always stay and fight, and never take flight.
I promise to love you until my dying day: to be by your side and show you a better way.
With my love, I am yours,”
I see the tear that falls down his face, he speaks his vows to me and I lose myself in his words.
“You’re the g
ood to my evil, the light to my dark, you brought me back and showed me the way. I thought I lost the man I was before but you saved me Faith and for that, I give you my heart, to keep with you. You’re my forever Faith, ever thine, always mine.”
We speak the rest of the vows together, the love, obey, honour and cherish till death us do part,
I hear the minister announce you may kiss the bride, it’s official, I am now Damien’s wife. He kisses me with such sweet passion, that of a man who cherishes his woman.
The rest of the evening passes in a blur and it’s soon time for us to jet off on our honeymoon. All the bags are in the car waiting. All I have to do is throw my bouquet. I stand in front of the door to the house with my back facing everybody; I hear the cheers and whistles from all of the guests as I get myself ready to throw.
I close my eyes, grip my bouquet in both hands and throw my arms up to release it over my head. I spin around to see who has caught it and I smile so brightly when I see that it’s Cami who has hold of it, though I can’t say she looks best pleased.
As we prepare to leave, we say goodbye to all our guests and say our thanks to everyone for coming to make our night so special.
I take Cami to the side; tell her I love her and that I will see her soon. Pulling her into my arms I hug her giving her a kiss on the cheek, we are not back to where we used to be but for now we are whole in the only way we can be.
I slide into the back of the waiting limo, which is going to take us to the airport. I have been waiting all day to get to speak with him alone. I have been waiting since I had the scan the other day confirming my suspicions. I kept putting the weight gain down to comfort eating, the dress fitter was not best please having to keep altering my dress, but Damien had been away on business for a month. I pined for him, that feeling of being alone after everything that had happened, so I was eating more, well now I know why, I was eating for two.
I turn to face my husband whom I love with all of my heart, knowing that today is the start of our future, one where we plan the journey, no one else.