“Drake, please don’t,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes. “Please.”
His hooded gaze was feverish as his hands came to cup her cheeks. “Grace, I need to know there’s a chance. That’s all I’m asking for. Just tell me you’re not going to send me away. Tell me there’s a glimmer of hope. That’s all I need. Just a taste of a tomorrow. Please.”
The fear that held her firmly to the earth unlocked as she stared deep into his beautiful dark eyes. Her broken heart suddenly took flight in her chest and for the first time since Christina’s death, she felt something other than hopelessness. She saw a glimmer of something real in Drake’s eyes, and she clung to that as she whispered, “There’s a chance, it’s just going to take time...”
His mouth touched hers, and she shivered at the rush of emotion that coursed through her veins like an electric current. Her soul felt raw and the sweetness of his kiss was nearly painful. A sob escaped her lips, and she tasted her tears as he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.
“Grace, don’t cry. Please, sweetheart.”
Then the torrent of emotion she’d pent up for months released, and she sobbed, her wails keening in the quiet room. Drake’s arms came around her, and she gripped the front of his shirt, needing something to hold on to. She didn’t know how long she sat there and cried into his shirt, and as the tears abated, she pulled back. The front of his shirt was now damp.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, suddenly embarrassed at falling apart.
“Are you okay?” he asked, concern knitting his brow, and Grace nodded, her hand touching his forearm to reassure him.
“I am. It was scary for a while. Cain had surgery on his heart to fix a problem, and his diaphragm became frozen in place and he couldn’t breathe, even on the ventilator. They had to rush him into surgery, and I was so scared. I was blubbering and the nurse took me in here and there was a woman outside. She had convinced the bodyguards she was my mother, and she snapped pictures and I guess assumed that Cain had died. Then you saw the article, I guess.” Grace explained as best she could.
“I’m so sorry. I can walk away from the band and find a job,” Drake started.
Grace held up her hand and interrupted him. “No. There’s room in your life for both things. I’m okay. Cain is okay. Go back to work.”
“Are you sure?”
Grace closed her eyes as Drake’s thumb came to her cheek, brushing away a tear. “I’m sure. Music is where your heart was the whole time. I’m not going to take that away from you. Go back and fulfill what you need to do. I’ll be here. We’ll be here. There are phones, you know.”
“I hate to leave you again,” Drake whispered.
“You’re coming back eventually. Go, Drake, we’ll be fine. We’ll work out the details later.” Grace gasped as he kissed her again. His lips moved against hers with a prowess unlike anything she’d felt from him. His tongue tangled with hers and took her breath. She trembled with desire and grasped his shoulders to steady herself. And just as quickly as he’d kissed her, it was over.
“I want to see Cain.”
Chapter Fifteen
Drake stared down at the tiny boy in the bed and his heart wrenched. He looked so impossibly small lying there, a tube running down his throat to help him breathe and his skin so porcelain pale. “Are you sure he’s okay?” he whispered, and Grace touched his shoulder and nodded.
“He’s doing okay. It just looks worse than it is. They’ve got him sedated a bit until he heals up more.” She reassured him.
“Can I touch him?” he asked, needing to feel that the boy was real.
“You can. Just don’t pick him up,” Grace cautioned him.
“I’d be too scared to hold him right now, he looks so fragile and weak. I’d be afraid I’d break him in my clumsiness,” Drake mumbled nervously as he reached into the bed and stroked a downy wisp of blond hair off the boy’s forehead. Bending, he pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “You gotta get better, kiddo. Your mama and I want to see you raising hell, you hear me? You gotta fight. I can’t stay long, baby. I’m here right now. I wish I could crawl in there and make it better. Somehow take all this from you. You’re strong and you’re going to pull through. Then I’ll take you and we’ll get you some cool toys or something. I can buy you toys, right?” He glanced over his shoulder at Grace for reassurance.
“You can buy him toys. In moderation.”
He turned back to the tiny boy. “Okay, she said moderation. That means not the whole toy store. Get better, and I’ll get you half the toy store, okay? That’s moderation.”
“You’re going to spoil him,” Grace sighed, and Drake grinned back at her.
“You got that shit right. He deserves it. So do you. Everything I can give you and more.”
She shook her head and propped a hand on her hip. “We don’t want your money. We want your time.”
“I’ll give you all the time I can.”
“You’ll be touring,” Grace retorted.
“Well, yeah, part of the year. When Cain gets strong enough, you can come with me. He’ll be stronger one day, and we can travel together. Until then, I’ll need you to trust that I’m coming home to you, and you’ll have my heart here. I know it’s not going to be easy. But I know we can do this.” Drake shifted and pulled her into his arms.
“I know,” she whispered. “The doctors will be in soon, can you stay long enough to talk to them?”
“Yeah, absolutely. I’m going to slip out and call the guys. I know they want to know what’s going on. I mean, hell, they still think that he’s, well…you know,” Drake murmured.
Grace paled visibly, and she nodded. “I can’t believe they printed that.”
“I’m sorry they did. The paparazzi aren’t well known for being honest, good hearted people. They’re out for a story. Stay off the gossip sites.” Drake advised her as he eased around her and moved for the door. “I’ll be right back.”
Hurrying out of the NICU doors, he plopped in the chairs outside the doors and eyeballed the guards who still stood there. He pulled his phone from his pocket and called Toby. The phone rang and finally Toby’s sleepy voice answered.
“What?”
“Cain is okay,” Drake informed him.
“Oh shit, Drake, it’s you. Okay, give me a second to get coherent.” He heard Toby fart, yawn, and stretch. “I’m good now.”
“That was gross.” Drake wrinkled his nose.
“Like you don’t do it? Shut up. So the kid is okay? What about your girl? Is she going to come off the warpath and let you stay?” Toby asked matter-of-factly.
“She and I are going to give it a shot to make things work. It’s going to take time. Cain is okay, he just had emergency surgery. She said the doctors are coming in soon, and I wanted to talk to them, you know, for my own peace of mind.”
“So, are you dropping us again?” Toby sneered.
“No, I’m not. I’m in this band. I’m going to fly out and be at our next show. Paris, right?”
“For serious? You’re coming back? We thought for sure you were going to back out.” Toby seemed to be impressed.
“I was a kid the last time I left, man. I had my parents in my ear. I love Grace. She had to understand I love my music too. And she does. So what’s the label planning to do?” Drake wondered if they frankly had a tour to return to.
“They’re getting some pretty rough backlash from fans, and they’ve agreed to let us continue on our tour doing acoustics. Sales are actually better since Parker’s little outburst. They’d be stupid as hell to let us go now. Parker’s been doing some serious ass kissing too.”
Drake chuckled softly. “Okay. I’ll see you in Paris soon.”
“Yeah, we’re gonna get up and fly that way later today. Safe travels, brother, and give our best to your family.” Toby disconnected the call, and Drake stared down at his cell phone for a moment.
My family. Why does that sound incredibly foreign as a concept? I mean, sure,
I have my parents, but this…Grace and Cain, they are my family. We’re going to try to make a family. A mixed up, messy, imperfect one. All thanks to Christina. He sat there for a moment feeling completely humbled and grateful that fate had turned the wheel in their favor.
When Grace had left the hotel, it had wrecked him, wholly. Losing her had hit hard. He’d just tried to stay busy to ignore the emptiness. Now there was no emptiness. Everything felt right. Standing, he moved to the nurse’s station and requested to be let back in the NICU. She gave him no flack this time, and he strolled into the room where Cain lay, only to see a doctor at his bedside.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to Grace as he hurried to the bedside.
“It’s fine.” She smiled warmly. “The doctor is just letting us know what’s going on. Dad stepped out so you could be in here with me.”
He turned his attention to the man in the white coat. “How is he?”
“He’s doing better every day. His oxygen levels are going up, his carbon dioxide levels are going down, his heart is pumping, and I think we can try to remove the ventilator in a day or two and see how he’s doing. I’m hoping within the next two weeks he can go home. Once we remove the ventilator, we’ll take him off sedation. It’s hard with older babies, they want to grab the tubes and pull them out,” he explained.
“I’m so glad. I’ve been so worried,” Grace murmured, and Drake pulled her into his side.
“I know. It was touch and go there for a little bit. He’s going to be okay. The one concern I do have when we remove the tubing is that there may be some damage to his vocal cords. It’s very common with surgeries, and he may have issues with being hoarse for a while. It should improve.”
“We will cross that bridge when we get to it.” Grace piped up.
“Yes, we will. Let’s just give him a little more time to get stronger, and we’ll go from there. I’m happy with his progress. I’ll check in with him in the morning. Have a good night.”
“You too,” Drake replied.
“He’s going to be okay,” Grace whispered as she gazed down at the tiny boy in the bed.
“Yes, he is.” Drake squeezed her shoulder and leaned over to kiss her cheek.
“Thank you for coming and for making me realize I didn’t have to be afraid. I’ve felt so stuck since Christina died. Before that, really. I’ve always felt stuck, and I don’t feel that way now. I feel like I’m moving toward a future. And whatever that brings? I’m okay with that.” Her pretty brown eyes glistened with unshed tears, and Drake couldn’t stop himself from cupping her cheek in his hand and lowering his mouth to kiss her.
“I have to go, sweetheart,” he murmured against her mouth, dreading leaving her and Cain even before he took a step out of the room.
“Go then,” she breathed.
“I’ll come back,” he promised.
“I know.”
One final tender kiss to her mouth and he pulled back. “I’m going to call you later.”
“If I don’t answer, you’ll know I’m busy with Cain,” Grace explained quickly.
“Okay. I love you. Both of you.” He reached in the bed and took Cain’s tiny hand. “I’ll see you soon. Stay strong, little man.”
“I-I love you too,” Grace whispered. “Be safe.”
Drake tried not to focus on the fact that Cain’s hand had tightened around his finger as he withdrew it, nor the wetness trickling down Grace’s face. He pasted a bright smile on his lips and waved as he walked away. As he stripped off the scrubs at the NICU door, he felt as though he was leaving a whole lot more behind besides the ugly blue material.
He was leaving his heart with his family.
Chapter Sixteen
Drake had barely stayed twelve hours in Phoenix before he’d jetted off to Europe to rejoin the band. Grace hated to see him go, and more than anything, she missed the steadiness he’d provided. For those few hours she felt as though she could breathe, that he would help her handle everything. He’d talked to the doctors, determined to understand everything he could about Cain’s condition, and made sure Cain had the absolute best care.
In the end, she had no qualms about telling him to go. She could’ve asked him to stay and she knew he would have. He didn’t want to walk away from Cain’s bedside, and tears were shed as he did. He had an obligation and Cain was stable again. A part of her wondered if he knew subconsciously that things were better in the outside world. Sitting in the uncomfortable chair beside Cain’s little bed, she scribbled in her diary.
Dear Diary,
If you told me a few weeks ago that Drake and I would be together, and really trying to work out a future, I’d tell you that you were crazy. Here I am, dating a rock star. I jumped into the abyss, and I’m not scared anymore. I know he’s going to catch me. It’s hard with him being gone. I have the memories of him being here to hold me. Watching him kiss Cain’s forehead with such tenderness broke my heart and yet made me feel whole. Our clandestine kisses in the chapel held the promise of more, so much more, when the time is right. I have no doubts in my mind that Drake wanted to stay with Cain, and I’m sure the gossip rags will berate him for going back to his tour. I know the truth. I know his heart is here with us. He’s ringing my phone off the hook demanding to know how Cain is doing, asking if we need anything. I don’t care what anyone says or thinks about us. He’s here in spirit. He’ll be back as soon as he can, and we’ll move on from there. I’m so relieved that Cain is getting better. We’re looking at trying him off the ventilator in a few days, and it won’t be long before he can go home. Dad says I’m a different person and I guess, in a way, he’s right. I’m not afraid. I have hope. Cain will come home, and so will Drake.
Grace
Closing the diary, she slipped it into her purse and checked the time on the clock. Nearly ten at night. Her dad had promised he would come in and take the night shift so she could go home and catch some sleep and get a shower. She felt like she could leave Cain in her father’s hands for the night. Exhaustion was mild compared to what she felt, and she knew if she didn’t get some sleep and a shower, she’d be too weak to take care of Cain when he was able to come home.
Five minutes past ten, Damien walked in the NICU, and she stood from her chair and stretched. “You made it.”
Damien hugged her tight. “I told you I would. How are you feeling?”
“Okay. I miss Drake. I feel good about how we left things, though. I feel at peace, if that makes sense,” she murmured.
“It does. Go home and get some sleep. Take a taxi. One of the guards is going with you. Don’t talk to the paparazzi, okay?” Damien squeezed her one last time, and Grace stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.
“I’ll be fine.” She turned and kissed her son. “I’ll be back in the morning. I love you.”
“Go,” Damien ordered, pointing at the door.
“It’s hard,” Grace whined.
“Yes, I know. You stink and you need sleep. Please go.” Damien pinched his nose and waved the air in front of it, and Grace smiled tiredly.
“I’m going.”
Slipping her purse over her shoulder, she glanced back at them. With her heart in her throat, she left the NICU. A bodyguard came to her right hand. “Miss Grace,” he mumbled, acknowledging her presence.
“Hi,” she murmured back.
“Keep your head down when we leave, okay? I’m going to pull you under my arm and get you into the taxi that’s waiting. Last check only two dedicated paparazzi were out there. Since Mr. Drake left, I don’t know,” he explained.
Grace nodded as they got on the elevator, and she leaned back against the cool metal wall. “I don’t think I can get used to this.”
“We’ll be fine. Just ignore them,” the hulking man advised.
“Okay.” Grace sighed.
As they stepped out of the elevator and made it down the hallway, she dropped her chin to her chest and allowed herself to be pulled under the guard’s arm. “Here we go.”
&nb
sp; Grace winced at the flashes of the cameras the moment her foot stepped on the pavement outside the door. The cacophony swirling around her made her dizzy.
“Grace! Are you and Drake back together? Is the baby okay? What’s going on? Is it really his baby?” the paparazzi asked rapid-fire questions, and she struggled to ignore them. In reality, she wanted to tell them all to screw off. It was best to be silent, so your actions weren’t misconstrued.
The guard opened the taxi door, and she slid inside and moved over so he could join her. “No comment!” he growled at a paparazzo who was gripping the door and shoving a camera inside. He wrenched the door closed and there was a howl as the paparazzo’s fingers caught in the door. “It’s your fault, you bastard!”
Grace watched as the paparazzo yanked their fingers from the door and smiled with glee. “We’re going to be sued.”
“Drive please!” the guard yelled at the taxi driver, and as they rolled through the parking lot, he murmured, “I’m so sorry, Miss Grace.”
“I’m not worried about it. I just want to get home. If they sue, they sue,” Grace mumbled tiredly, her exhaustion weighing on her and making her words clumsy.
“Yes, Miss Grace.”
She dozed as they drove and jumped at a touch on her shoulder. “What?”
“We’re here.”
Looking around she was shocked to find they actually were in front of the house. “Oh. I guess I slept.”
“Let’s get you inside, Miss Grace.” She accepted the guard’s hand and stumbled up the stairs of the house. Once inside she made a beeline for her bedroom and collapsed across the bed. She remembered nothing else.
* * *
Drake stepped off the plane in Paris with a yawn. Sleeping on planes just wasn’t quite as great as sleeping in a bed. The exhaustion was worth seeing Grace and Cain. Pulling out his phone as he walked across the tarmac, he tried to call Grace, knowing it was most likely futile, she was probably in the NICU.
Raising Cain Page 10