“Good idea. Can we call the bike place and have them pick us up?” she asked, only half-joking.
He parked the bike and sank onto a bench under a big oak tree. “Did I push you too hard?” he asked, pulling his helmet off.
She eased down beside him and pulled off her helmet, then fluffed her hair, pretty sure it looked as flat as roadkill. “Not as hard as I’m gonna push you when we ride horses.” He groaned, and she nudged his side. “Paybacks are hell.”
A family of four rode by on their bikes, and Paige smiled wistfully as she watched them.
“They looked happy, didn’t they?” Justin asked.
“Very.”
“We used to do that when we were little. I was always last being the youngest of the family. You want a family someday?” he asked.
Her mind went blank. “Of course, I want a family,” she finally said. “How about you?” She found herself holding her breath waiting for his answer.
“Yeah, I do. Sometime down the road. Family’s about as important as it gets.”
She nodded. She couldn’t agree more. Family was everything. Without family, you were like a leaf blowing in the wind, not sure where you might land, or if anyone would be around if you needed them to ease your landing.
She shoved to her feet. “I’m ready to head back if that’s okay with you.” She grabbed her helmet off the bench, tugged it on and fastened it.
Justin stood and pulled his helmet back on. “We probably shouldn’t have come this far our first time on the tandem. Have I worn you out?”
“Maybe a little,” she admitted. “I might have to take a nap before we go dancing,” she added, expecting him to balk.
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll pick you up for dinner at seven o’clock. That work?”
“It’s perfect.” And so was he. Or at least he seemed perfect, and that unsettled her more than she wanted to admit. She hadn’t expected him to be anywhere near this nice. She’d expected fun, which he’d certainly delivered, and for him to be a gentleman. But his consideration of her hammered at her defenses and made her uneasy, not because she didn’t trust Justin, but because for the first time in years, she didn’t trust herself.
Chapter Four
Paige grabbed her lunch out of the office refrigerator and joined her colleague and friend who sat at a table with her feet propped up on a chair. “Long night, Tiffany? You look beat.”
“Yeah. This day can’t end soon enough. I might be use to no sleep, but last night was the third night in a row I’ve had to crawl my way out of some serious snoozing and get to the hospital.”
“How is your patient?” Paige asked, unwrapping a chicken salad sandwich and taking a bite.
“Mother and baby are doing fine.” Tiffany smiled. “Gotta love delivering babies. Thank God it almost always has a happy ending. I wouldn’t have become an obstetrician if that weren’t so.”
“It’s easier being a midwife than a doctor. You get the hard stuff,” Paige said. “I don’t think I could take it if I had to deal with some of the tragedy you do.”
“Yeah, it can be tough sometimes.” Her friend studied her. “You look as tired as I feel. You have a delivery last night too?”
Paige shook her head. “Just didn’t sleep well.”
“I hear that.” Tiffany took a long drink of water, then tossed her empty lunch sack into the trash. “It sucks not being able to sleep when you get the opportunity. What kept you awake?”
Paige set her sandwich down. “I had a dinner date last night. He’s only a friend, but…” She hesitated.
Tiffany leaned toward her, a grin on her face. “It’s about time, girlfriend.”
“I said he’s merely a friend.”
“So, you’re telling me a mere friend kept you tossing and turning all night?”
Paige’s appetite vanished. “It’s complicated.”
“I love complicated,” Tiffany said rubbing her hands together. “Spill it, sister.”
Paige held in a laugh. “There’s not much to tell. We’ve been hanging out, supposedly only as friends, but he keeps upping the ante. Last week he brought me flowers.”
“Oh, I love flowers. What kind?”
“Gladiolas. Then last night he tried to kiss me.”
“And?” Tiffany prompted.
“And nothing.” Paige took a long drink of water and then popped a red grape into her mouth. “Unfortunately, I really do want to kiss him, but he knows I only want friendship for now.”
“Define ‘for now.’”
Paige let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know. At first I didn’t trust him. Now I don’t trust myself. And all that’s beside the point, because I can’t give him what he wants.”
“Can’t? As in forever?”
Paige pressed a hand against her heart, hoping to stem some of the pain she felt and didn’t answer.
“I don’t know what’s going on, Paige, but I’d encourage you to invite him over for a candlelight dinner,” Tiffany said, batting her eyelashes.
“I wish it were that easy,” Paige confessed. “He probably won’t call again. I got a little testy with him last night when he tried to kiss me. Told him he wasn’t sticking with our agreement.”
“Of course, he’s not. No man would do that unless he was gay. Get real, Paige. Besides, if you have the dreamy look that’s on your face now when you’re with him, then he knows you want more than friendship, even if you won’t admit it.”
Paige stiffened her spine. “I hide it when I’m with him.”
Tiffany snorted. “I seriously doubt that. Why are you so afraid of a simple kiss?”
“In the first place, I doubt it would be simple. In the second place, it’s too complicated to explain.”
Tiffany narrowed her gaze. “Complicated or not, if you’re attracted to the man, why are you against finding out where it might lead?”
“I already know where it’ll lead. Heartache.” Oh, how Paige wished that weren’t the truth, but no way could a romantic relationship with Justin end in happily ever after.
“You don’t know that, Paige.”
But she did, and she wasn’t up for explaining it to Tiffany. “It can’t work,” she reiterated.
Tiffany leaned forward and patted her arm. “Paige, you’ve seemed happy these last few weeks, and it’s nice to see. At least think about giving the guy a chance. The worse that could happen is it doesn’t work. We’ve all been there and lived to tell about it. What makes you too scared to even take a chance?”
Paige straightened her shoulders. “I’m not that scared, but I am that practical. There are things you don’t know about me.”
Tiffany held up a hand, palm out. “Hold on a minute. We’re friends. What could possibly be so bad you can’t tell me?”
Paige swallowed hard, her mind whirling as fast as a tumbleweed in a wind storm. She should never have brought this subject up, but she’d hoped it might help her figure out how to handle the sticky situation she’d gotten herself into. At the very least, she needed to figure out how to handle her own conflicting feelings. And her deeply-rooted fears, she admitted to herself.
“You’re obviously upset over last night,” Tiffany said. “All I’m saying is at least consider giving the guy a chance.”
Paige tossed the rest of her sandwich in the trash and stood. “I’ll think about it.” That was the understatement of the century. She couldn’t seem to not think about it. Tiffany was right about one thing. It shouldn’t have surprised her when Justin tried to move their friendship up a notch. It felt wonderful to know he wanted more, because deep down so did she. But Paige also knew she couldn’t give Justin what he needed over the long haul, so it was not smart to let their friendship evolve into something else, no matter how much she yearned for that. She’d been naïve to ever suggest friendship. It hadn’t been smart to start anything with a man she desired to be more than friends with but didn’t even have the guts to kiss. She needed to call him and apologize, so she could move beyond this and get back
to her boring but safe life.
* * *
Not even the lively crowd at the pub could lift Justin’s mood tonight. He’d blown it last night when he’d moved in for a kiss with Paige. Pissed her off royally, but what did the woman want? She’d said she wanted to start out as friends and they had. But when she’d looked at him with yearning in her eyes and he’d known she wanted him like he did her, he hadn’t been able to rein himself in.
Just as well she’d shot him down. He needed to step back and re-evaluate this friendship thing, because he obviously didn’t have the patience for a long-term friendship with someone he fantasized about getting naked with. To make matters worse, he knew he wasn’t ready for anything more than a fling and to seduce Paige would be wrong. For some reason, she wasn’t prepared to be involved with him sexually, and he wasn’t ready to be involved with her in a serious relationship. That should be the end of it, so why couldn’t he let it go?
Pondering his options, he absentmindedly poured beer into a glass. Not until the cold foam rolled down the glass onto his hand, did he realize he’d poured too much. Cursing, he set the glass down and rinsed his hand off. “The extra’s on me,” he said with a wink as he carefully slid the glass to the woman who had ordered it. Taking off his apron, he tossed it aside and headed back to his office, running smack into Paige when he rounded the corner to the hall.
He caught her shoulders and righted her. “Sorry. I didn’t see you.”
“Obviously.” She swallowed hard and stepped back. Justin dropped his hands from her shoulders and stood there, at a loss for words probably the first time in his life. “Can we talk?” she finally asked.
“Sure.” He guided her down the hall to his office, and the minute he closed the door behind them he turned to her. “I’m sorry about last night. I broke the rules and I shouldn’t have.” He scrubbed his day-old beard with his fingertips. “I’m not sure I can keep my hands to myself any longer, so maybe…I mean it’s probably best we not see each other anymore.” Her eyes watered and he winced. “I’m sorry, Paige. I never wanted to hurt you, but I want you too damn much to keep our relationship strictly platonic any longer. When you looked at me like you wanted me to jump your bones last night, my brain turned to mush.”
She gave him a shaky smile. “I acted like some silly teenager who’d never been kissed.” She laid a hand on his chest and stared at his mouth. “Can I change my mind?”
He widened his eyes. “Is this some kind of a test?”
With a sigh, she rested her cheek against his chest. “Yes. It’s a test to see how I feel when you kiss me,” she said, her warm breath caressing him even through his shirt.
He hooked a thumb under her chin and tilted it up. “You sure?” Please, please don’t let her change her mind. She nodded and every nerve in his body sparked to life. He lowered his mouth to hers, barely touching her lips. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her off, but when she moaned and melted into him, all thought evaporated. He kissed her thoroughly, kissed her until he was drugged with her taste and her lush mouth mated with his.
By the time he broke the kiss, his heart was racing like a runaway horse and his breath was so shallow, he felt his head spin. He ran his hands down her back and cupped her ass, pulling her snug against him.
She arched closer and he knew he was a goner, total putty in this woman’s arms. He hoped like hell she felt the same way. He leaned back and ran a finger down her cheek. “I’m pretty much speechless, which is saying a lot.”
She smiled, and pulled his face back down to hers, devouring his mouth and melting all his self-control. He picked her up and wrapped her legs around him, then backed her up against the wall, nipping her full bottom lip as he ground against her.
Her whimper jolted him back to reality and he froze. Pulling his mouth away from hers, he fought for air. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She blew out a quick breath. “That wasn’t fear. It was…” She closed her eyes on a sigh. “Surrender.”
He grinned. “That mean you’ll go out with me Saturday night?”
“Yes.”
He stepped back and she slid down the length of him, starting a fire deep in his soul. He held her flush against him, savoring the intimate contact. “I was going to call you later this evening and beg for forgiveness for pushing you last night.”
“Don’t let this stop you,” she said, her lips quirking up.
“You know something, sexy lady? I think you have a well-hidden streak of ornery in you.”
“You must bring it out in me.” She trailed a fingernail down his chest, and it was all he could do not to rip both their shirts off and drown himself in the feel of her smooth, silky skin against him.
He grabbed her hand, brought it to his mouth and kissed her fingertips. “Better behave before I turn into a big, bad wolf.” He led her to his desk, sat on it, and pulled her between his legs. She rested her hands on his shoulders, and he wrapped his around her waist. “What propelled you to come see me this evening?”
Her gaze coasted over his face, creating a heat wave that rolled over his entire body. “I couldn’t get you off my mind, if you must know,” she said, her mouth so close to his, he could feel not only her warm breath but the heat of her lips.
He forced himself not to devour her right then and there, and shifted his gaze to the silver locket that always hung around her neck. He picked up the locket, felt her tense and wondered why. He’d have to ask her about this locket someday.
He shifted his gaze back to her face. “Good to know I’ve been on your mind. You’ve certainly been on mine.” He dropped the locket back to her warm skin and ran a finger over the edge of her scooped-neck blouse. Her breath hitched and pure male satisfaction filled him.
“How about you let me grill out dinner for us Saturday? Then we can catch a movie if we want.” She hesitated, and he cursed himself for pushing too hard. “Or we could go out. What’s your favorite cuisine?”
“Italian, but I’m game for you impressing me with your culinary skills. Just remember, I can’t return the favor. If I did, you’d run for your life. I can bring salad though.”
“Deal, but if you change your mind about dinner at my place, that’s okay.” He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I mean that.”
“Thank you,” she said, those green eyes of hers soft and inviting.
Justin kissed her on the forehead, praying he could live up to her expectations. He was beginning to think this might be the woman who could win his heart, whether he was ready for that or not. He took her hand and walked her back out to the bar before he did something he would regret and made her run for safety again.
* * *
Paige got out of the bathtub, dried off, and pulled on a nightgown. So much for going back to her boring life. Seeing Justin this evening looking very unlike his happy-go-lucky self, had torn at her troubled heart, and her desire to wish him well and trot back to her safe life had disappeared like smoke on a breeze. She wanted this man, and she was tired of denying her feelings and desires—desires that grew every time she saw him. The man was incredible, and she couldn’t let him go without at least giving him a chance—giving them a chance, as slim as that chance might be. She’d been a coward when it came to men for far too long.
She probably should tell Justin why she shied away from relationships, but she wasn’t sure she could. It might bring what they had to a screeching halt, and she couldn’t stand the thought of that. “Which is why I should stay away from the man,” she muttered. Someday soon she would tell him what had happened to her, but it wasn’t going to be this weekend. Or even the weekend after. She’d been alone too long, and as much as she’d tried to deny it, she’d been lonely. Being with Justin brought back not only hope but feelings she hadn’t been sure she ever wanted to have again. No way could she turn away from him now. In fact, she was determined to embrace every second they had together and make strong enough memories with him to carry her through al
l the lonely years that stretched out before her.
* * *
Paige all but floated through the rest of the week. Justin had called her several times, and they’d visited until late in the evening, discussing everything under the sun. One of the things she enjoyed the most about him was that he liked to talk. He was also warm and sweet and funny. She closed the chart on the patient she’d just seen and started down the hall to see her next patient.
“Hey, Paige, wait up,” Tiffany called, hurrying over to her. “I’m headed to the hospital. Jillian Blake is bleeding and being brought in by ambulance. Thought you’d want to know.”
All the air whooshed out of Paige. “That sounds bad.”
“It sure doesn’t sound good. That’s why I told you. Figured you’d want to know.”
“Thanks, Tiffany. I appreciate it. I’ll head that way as soon as I’ve seen my last patient.” Paige stepped into her office and closed the door, fighting for composure as she tried to decide if she could make herself wait to head to the hospital and check on Jillian. Memories assailed her as she leaned against the closed door, and she had to breathe deeply to compose herself. She so hoped Jillian didn’t lose this baby, but there was always that possibility in situations like this. Paige knew that firsthand and her heart ached for what Jillian and Stan were going through. And Justin. She knew he would be there for his sister. Thank God Tiffany would be the one to tell the family what they were up against, because she wasn’t at all sure she could do it without breaking down.
Yet as glad as she was for that reprieve, Paige knew she couldn’t stay away. She needed to be there, not only to know how Jillian was doing, but to support Justin.
Gathering her composure, Paige stepped out of her office and went to the receptionist. “Please reschedule my last two patients, Sue. I’m heading to the hospital as soon as I see the patients who are here now.”
Thirty minutes later, Paige grabbed her purse, jogged to her car and made a bee-line for the hospital, anxious to know how Jillian and her baby were doing. Jillian might be Tiffany’s patient now, but Paige had seen her through the first seven months of her pregnancy, and she needed to get to the hospital and find out how Jillian and the baby were.
Since I Found You (Crystal Springs Romances: The Wedding Chapel Book 2) Page 5