The night of Always’s weddin. The weddin night.
Everything was new in their new bedroom. Seem like even they was new. Magine! Two slaves in a real house. THEIR house! Picked each other out to love. And DID IT! Never before in either of each life had they ever been able to make such a choice. And no other slave they knew of! Chile, that freedom is something!
They was both shy, kinda bashful, tho Lord knows, they both had been through so much of life. Seen so much. Been made to do so much.
Now … they had love … and everything. They lay side by side, holdin hands. When they talked, they almost whispered.
“I is your real wife now.”
“I knows, an I is proud.”
“You sho you loves me?”
“Bout too late if I wan’t sho.”
“Ain’t talkin bout time! I wants to be real loved.”
“I loves you, too. Real love.”
“I feel like this my first time at lovin.”
“Is our first time at lovin. First time at bein married, sides with a broom. I’s yours. We’s together. Woman and man. Man and wife.”
“Man and wife! By a preacher. Like white folks, Tim.”
“Like real peoples sposed to be, everywhere.”
“Our folkses wasn’t there. My mama wasn’t there. She dead. Where your mama, Tim?”
His whisper dropped. “I nevah knew my mama. Nevah had none.”
“Never had no mama? Ohhhh, Tim.”
“You my everythin, Always. You my wife, my mama, my baby, my woman. My everythin.”
“Tim? When you was undressin? I saw them scars on your back.”
“They’s the las ones. Won’t be no mo.”
“I’s gonna rub em down with my special linment.”
“Yo special linment is love. You done already rubbed me all over my heart and soul. My body be awright now.”
They was quiet awhile, just layin there bein together. Then Tim said, “I didn’t see no scars on yo back.”
“Mos my scars is in my mind. Can’t see em clear.”
Tim raised his head a little. “Then how I’m gon help em go away?”
Always turned her face to him. “Tim, you done soothed my scars with your love and kindness and goodness.”
She unclasped their hands. “Put your hand on my stomach.”
He did. “Sho feel like a pretty stomach.”
“I’s lovin you, Tim, and you betta treat me right, love me back, good and strong.”
“Yo knows that or we wouldn’t be layin here now.”
They laughed and he began to rub her stomach. She whispered closer to his ear. “You feels good to me, Tim.”
He smiled to hisself. “Ahhhhh, you sho feels good to me. Did from the first time I seen you in that church.”
She raised her head a little. “Reckon God done blessed us cause we met in the church?”
“Always, I’m blessed. I’m blessed. And it feel so good to be blessed.”
“Where you goin with your hand, Tim?”
“Home. My new home. I’s bringin myself home to you.”
“Come on home then. Home is waitin for you.”
“Fo me always?”
“Always for you, always.”
And as he tenderly passed one strong arm under her body and pulled her gently under him, they kissed and he whispered into her mouth, “Ahhhh, I loves yo, Always, I loves yo.”
And they came together in marriage. They made a home. And it wasn’t too long fore they made a baby, chile.
Oh! My! My! How much we slaves, of all colors, have missed. Oh! My! I never did get to feel nothin like that. There ain’t nothin, NOTHIN, like you wantin somebody and them wantin you. Loving. Lovin somebody! Just really nothin like makin love to somebody you love, when you BOTH want to and you together doin it! Oh! My! My! Well, that’s what they had, when they was freed.
Always wanted a black child by a black man. And she went to workin on it right away. Tim loooved his wife. That’s why it wasn’t long fore Always was pregnant. I was excited cause this child we could keep. It was ours!
When Always had their son, Tim stayed at her side long as she would let him. It was the first time she had ever had help havin a baby. It was the first time she could look up at its daddy, hold his hand, and wait for their child of love to be born. If you ain’t never had that happen, or helped it happen, chile, you don’t know what love is when you have a child.
When Always and Tim had got married, they had to decide on a last name of their own choice. They pondered many hours. They finally decided on “More” cause Always say that’s what they want! When the baby was born, Always say she want to name him “Master,” so everybody have to call him Master. Tim just went long with things, thinkin he could name the next ones. But there never was no next one. Master More had to carry on the name all by hisself. And he ended up doin it in a big way, too. But, I’ll tell you all that when I get to it. In the meantime, their farm prospered, with Always addin things along the way. She always thought of gold.
Tim and Always built more shacks for the ex-slaves and gave them to them for life, long as they worked til they couldn’t. She encouraged them to have gardens of their own, thereby saving her stuff for market.
When she would send them out to do outside work for white people, she gave them 90 percent of their money, so they would be free, on their own.
She still had some gold, so she bought two carriages and rented them out with a well-dressed driver to ladies who wanted to be ladies goin in style to local events, but who had lost most of their genteel money. She paid the drivers and kept the rest, naturly.
Tim raised the stock and they both ran the farm. They prospered.
Across the road a way, Doak Jr. also prospered. He yet glared cross the road at her, but she had given him the most of his gold, so he had no real fuss, just felt bested. Loretta, even tho her house was bein fixed and built up and beautified, yet looked cross the road at Always darkly. Not hatin her so much tho. Close kin, yet far apart from love.
Doak Jr. found him a pretty little wife, blue-eyed and blond, just as cute as she could be. Smart. Nice. Good-hearted. She fell in love with Apple and had her often, everyday, to their house, much to the pleasure of Loretta. Probly what helped Loretta stop hatin Always so much. Loretta could watch her own child grow, and she did love Apple. Apple loved all the good things happenin to her. Lovely little clothes, good food, tender care. She was growin up to be a mighty pretty girl and it was good for her to have others lovin her, cause Always was taken up with her new son fore long. Little Apple was thinkin she was in love with Soon. He was too old for her, but she had that feelin for him girls have for grown-ups sometimes. Loretta was plannin, strongly, for to send Apple off to the North to school. Apple was learnin good already, studyin hard, Loretta teachin her. Loretta was a natural born teacher it seemed. Loretta knew Apple loved Soon. Loretta didn’t want Apple marryin no black man, so everything she did was to gear Apple toward the North. She put dreams in her head and they worked. I’m glad. Give everybody a future if you can.
Soon didn’t get married right away. He worked with his mama, Always, and commence to pile up a good piece of homeland for hisself. He say he want his wife from somewhere not in the South. Said he would wait awhile.
I WAS GETTIN mighty tired, weak. Always’s new baby, Master, was growin slowly. I’d have to wait years to see his life. I wanted to, but I was so tired.
I drifted off to Peach, I thought for the last time. She was tryin to visit the United States. Her family didn’t want her to go. Her husband specially. She wanted to go see and find her first family. He told her she had her family there with him. I could see she was goin to get her way. He told her she had to take one of their own children with her, and she had to stay white while she was there. See and leave!
Well, I ain’t gonna take up no lotta time tellin you bout her trip. Once she got to the South, it wasn’t no time fore she found Always on accounta Loretta bein so close to her.
And when Loretta saw Peach! Chile! Peach couldn’t stay no white woman then if Loretta had not wanted her to, but Loretta thought of Apple and that made it easy for Peach.
Loretta decided she wanted Apple to go to school in Scotland and Always decided she wanted Soon to go somewhere for some special education in Europe, wherever Peach thought best. Peach was way more than happy to do all these things cause she had done missed havin colored people somewhere around her. It gets to be that way sometime. And tho they was mostly white, they was still black. They got all that settled for when the time came.
Soon was not too eager to leave all that he was workin on for hisself, but he wasn’t no fool and he did want somethin better and he wanted a wife from somewhere else. He, too, liked his relative and her daughter she brought with her. Pretty chile.
But let me tell you bout when Always and Peach met again.
Always thought it was some rich woman comin to see bout her carriages. She was bendin down round some of them special plants of hers and stood up waitin for Peach to get to her. Peach broke into a run, cause that chile hadn’t done changed much inside herself. She was truly glad to see her sister, her own first family. They hugged and held on to each other … so long, oh, so long. Squeezin, cryin … oh, so long. My family, my blood.
Always wanted to be mad cause she had done been left down there to fend for herself in the madness of slavery. Wanted to know why somebody didn’t try to come back and help her, buy her. All Peach answered was, “Because I couldn’t! Wasn’t any way I could have done it, with my husband and my family. I didn’t know anything about passage, buyin and not getting recognized and whatever all else there is. So there! I’m back now to do whatever I can do, so we can be together again as a family. You can’t come to Scotland. But I can take little Apple with me and anybody else that looks white.” Well, truth is the light. Right or wrong.
I had done dropped over to see Sun. He was gettin ready to go down to see bout his sisters too. He got there whilst Peach was there. Chile, I’m tellin you! I was so happy, so glad, so full up with joy! To see my childrens together again. Mine. But my joy wasn’t no bigger than theirs was.
Plum was the only sadness in their hearts. When Sun got there, he found em the same way Peach had done. Always took them to Plum’s grave place. Only people she ever did take sides Tim and Master. They held each other and cried some more. Chile, slavery was hard, hard on a body in so many ways. These blood of mine was way more than lucky and blessed.
Sun and Peach argued bout Soon and Apple and it ended up with Soon goin with Sun. Sun didn’t care what nobody thought, but he didn’t want to be found out to be black yet either. Soon was just as glad either way. His mama would look out for his things while he was gone to get a education to be a vet … tin … nary. That’s what he had done decided while he was talkin and workin with Peach. See, Always put everybody to work. Now he knew he could visit in Scotland whenever he wanted to anyway.
Chile, I’m tellin you this FREEDOM was really somethin if you had any sense to work with it! My chile, Always, had planned when she didn’t even know she was plannin!
LORETTA HAD TO COME to Always when Sun was home. Always treated her like the lady she was cause now she knew more bout how Sun had got away. Loretta was very polite. Her face just lit up when she saw Sun. After all these years! She, in the end, wanted him to take Apple, but Apple was settled. It was all alright.
She and Sun talked for such a long while. This time he did invite her up to his home as a relative from the South. When she left and went home cross the road, her mind was full of dreams of the new men she would meet and perhaps marry. The clothes she would have, the places she could go. Looked like this life was just payin off for everybody.
Doak Jr. just wouldn’t let none of em over to his house and Loretta never could figure why. He didn’t like Always and he didn’t want nothin to do with none of em, don’t care how white and light their skin was! He didn’t want to be caught lookin like them, you see? Not be close to black, no way!
I was just gettin more tired and tired. I just began to drift off and drift off to places I didn’t even think of.
One day, in my driftin, I passed a ocean. Big ole thing. Strong winds blowin, beautiful sand glistenin in the sun. Birds flyin all over all round me. The trees bowin to the wind, even growin that way. I stopped to rest under one of them trees.
You know what I did? I fell into a deep, deep sleep. So peaceful, so restful I slept I don’t know how long, chile! When I finally woke, I blive it was cause of the noise of war. It was so many years later. It was bout fifty years later!
I rushed, I flew to where I had last seen Always and Master. Things had changed so much, oh, how things had changed.
Always was dyin. Old, old and dyin. So I knew this was the end for me too. My children had grown and now their children was grown. Master had children of his own and he was dead already. He left two boys and two girls, grown.
Soon had come back and now he was dead. His white wife too. They had left one boy and one girl, Edward Soon and Edna, grown.
Apple never did come back cept for visits, quick visits. She lived in England with a English husband, her children, Alice and Gary, was grown too and she was gettin on old. She had money tho, she had learned well from Always.
I didn’t get up to see bout Peach cause she was still livin, old. I knew I had a little time to see her. Her children was everywhere, Ireland, France, Spain, everywhere, livin white. I knew Sun was dead just from thoughts floatin round.
I went to Always to be with her whilst she died. Wondered would we get to talk now since we both gonna be dead. Tim was long dead now, too. He left beautiful memories tho, cause Always never married again. He did see his grandchildren.
I must tell you this tho. Doak Jr. had got mos all that land back from Always, in one way or another. After Tim died she let down on her watchfulness. Even some of the slaves and their children she had taken on, had done unkind things to her. Stealin. White folks stealin too, once they found out that the land was hers and not Doak’s. Doak helped them cause he still held enmity cause she bested him. When Doak died he was ragin and ravin, confused. But he had had a good, full life with his sweet wife who died soon after he did. They left children.
A real white man, Jared, had come to Doak Jr. and his oldest son. Doak the third or fourth, I don’t know. He was tired of bein poor and seein black folks with things he couldn’t get. He hadn’t tried workin harder. He had thought of a way he had heard of where white folks rode in the night and killed black folk and took from them. Changed records and stole from them. Now, all them white folks was not this way. Some would never have thought of this kind of thing, but poor white ignorant have-nothin folks thinks of anything. This man, Jared, did think of ways to rid blacks of all what they could. Even burn em out!
He needed somebody with some respect, tho, to get the main folks he needed to help this idea along. Doak Jr. had not done never thought of this, but if he refused it, he knew they would wonder why, cause he was always seeming to help that black woman, Always, crost the way. He didn’t want no reason, no way for nobody to think him no more than a nice white man helpin a nigga who had raised him, so he agreed. Only if they was not killed, he said. Don’t kill em, just take all they got. Burn houses down, that’s alright. Steal horses, cows, hogs, food, whatever you want, but don’t kill em.
It didn’t work out that way, cause it never does with somebody with a ugly, mean, jealous mind. Jared had that kind of mind. UGLY. He took to wearin them sheets he had done heard of, gettin other jealous whites to follow him. And the Ku Klux Klan came to be in that region. Always suffered. In fact that is how Tim died. Fightin for his wife and life.
A lot of other blacks suffered too, cause what could you do? Everybody with some power was now joined into it, almost. Only a few with a conscience was not. And how many people you know got a conscience?
It grew, it done grown even up til now. Still goin, but let me get back to Always and all
she tried to get and keep in the right way. Gold, silver and all, she worked for it. Didn’t ride no horses in the night under no cover-up sheet to steal. Worked on her son only. And you might say he owed her that. But he didn’t think so. He would sit up in church, even, and listen to that gospel music and think, with malice, what she had done to him. Ain’t some people fools? He was free on count of her. Maybe a whole lot of other white-lookin men and women are free that way too, and they don’t know it. Who knows? Maybe they do know it.
But his concentration was on Always. What she had. Even if he didn’t need it. He didn’t want to see her with it. Chile, the man ended up ownin so much they named the town after him. Butlertown. It was his town, he was so rich! He had plenty to leave to his children. A whole town practcly. Still, he wanted back what he felt Always had taken from him.
They didn’t get it all, howsomever. She held on to the main parts. She even still had some gold buried, and now nobody knew where it was. She only woulda told Tim, which she did, and Master, and they was both gone. It was buried deep under the ground in Tim’s old wine cellar.
Her four grandchildren was there. Grown. Waitin for her to die, so they could get on bout their business. Well … two loved their gramma Always. One middle one, Peter, and the youngest, named after Peach.
Peter had been educated and he was followin his uncle Soon’s steps in the vet … tin … nary. Peach was a teacher and yet loved the South, so she planned to stay on in her grandmother’s house that the other two wanted to sell. She had done fallen in love with one of them husky dark men behind a plow, Carl. She was gonna stay and get him. He seem to be glad bout that.
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